"Why exactly are we making a house call, anyways?" John asked Sherlock as they got out of the cab. "Don't only doctors do that?"

"You are a doctor," Sherlock replied, shutting the cab door. He paid the cabby and told him he could go ahead and leave.

"Yes," John sighed. "But you aren't. Normally clients come to you."

"And?"

"Well, it's just unusual," said John. They walked up a long brick path to the enormous house they had arrived at. John stared at the expensive real-estate.

"Are you uh-" John stuttered. "Are you sure of this address? It looks a little… rich."

"Yes, I'm sure. The woman on the phone earlier offered extra payment if we could come here so she wouldn't have to make a trip into the heart of London. Something to do with family issues. Not sure exactly, I wasn't listening the whole time."

The detective and his blogger walked up the stairs, fountains on either side, and rang the doorbell. As soon as the door was opened, a burst of noise flooded outside. Sherlock flinched at the sound. The playful screaming and hollering echoed through the house and, for a moment, Sherlock couldn't tell if there were two or two hundred of them.

"Children…" Sherlock mumbled under his breathe. John nudged him in hopes he could overcome his dislike of kids for the sake of the client. The client, as it so happened, was a beautiful lady in her mid-twenties. She barely got the door open, due to the two crying babies in both of her arms.

"Oh my goodness," the woman apologized. "I'm so sorry, I wasn't expecting you this early! Please, come in!" Their client motioned for them to enter. They did so, closing the door behind them.

A particularly loud screech reverberated through the long halls around them, followed by a desperate cry for "Mommy". The woman sighed drearily, patting the two babies who sounded even more upset than her.

"If you could be so kind, would you mind holding them for a moment while I take care of the other children?" the lady asked, holding a baby out to each of them.

Sherlock began to protest. "I don't-"

"Of course we will, Mrs…?" John interrupted Sherlock and took one of the babies in his arms.

"Oh, it's miss. I'm divorced. And call me Alena," she replied and practically shoved the other baby into Sherlock's unwilling arms before running off to hush her toddlers.

Sherlock glared at her as she ran off. "..I don't do babies," he finished the sentence he had started before John made the decision for him.

"Oh, come on, Sherlock," John teased. "What's so bad about them?"

"They're oblivious, needy, and…" Sherlock stopped to sniff the air. "…And they smell."

John felt the diaper of the baby in Sherlock's arms. "He's wet. Just needs a change."

Sherlock grimaced and held the sobbing baby by its armpits, as far away from him as he could.

John rolled his eyes. "Oh come on, it's not that bad."

"Yes it is."

"It's not. And it's not like the baby can help it."

"No, but the mother could have-"

"Alena," John added.

"-listened to me when I was trying to tell her I don't handle babies well," Sherlock eyed the baby, who seemed to be doing the same to him. "Plus, you never know what they're thinking…Wait a second," Sherlock stopped, realizing John had corrected him by using their client's first name. "You don't have a thing for her already, do you?"

"I think she's lovely," John shrugged.

"Dear God…"

"What's the matter with her? No, don't answer that-"

Sherlock had already started. "She's a stressed out mess. She is extremely irresponsible. She went to the bother of hiring a private detective plus asking for us to come to her, yet she is not even ready when we arrive. She can't even keep her kids under control. With as much money as she so obviously has, the least she could do is hire a nanny to keep her kids at a minimum."

"Well," Alena said, walking up to the doctor and detective. She had heard everything. "Mr. Holmes, I'm glad you've been able to make yourself feel comfortable enough to insult me in my own home."

John glared at Sherlock, feeling any possibility of getting to know their client outside of their business there had just been squandered.

"However," Alena continued. "In answer to your question, I haven't hired a nanny because I want to be the one raising my children."

"And you're doing such a fine job," Sherlock groaned sarcastically and glared the baby he still held at arm's length away from him.

Alena took her babies back from them. John pointed at the one Sherlock had 'held'. "That one needs a change," he informed her.

She sighed. "Graham is always the messy one." Sherlock scowled again, earning him another nudge from John.

"We'll just wait in the living room until you're ready for our business," Sherlock advocated. Alena nodded and led them to the luxurious living room.

"Would you mind if I helped?" John asked Alena. "Two babies is a lot to handle at once."

"Oh, I don't know…" she hesitated.

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor," he informed her.

"Are you?" her face lit up.

John nodded. "An army doctor. Served in Afghanistan."

Alena smiled at him. "Well, doctor, I suppose an extra pair of hands would be helpful. Follow me."

Sherlock rolled his eyes and plopped into one of the sofas. John could change all the diapers he wanted. He was there for a case, which his mind so desperately needed.

I always figured Sherlock wouldn't know what to do with babies. He can't read them like normal adults.