Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.

A/n: Okay, so holy shit, it's been almost a fucking year since I updated this story and I don't even know what to say but omfg I'm so sorry. I'd apologise as much as Sakurai would if I had to but still, SUMIMASEN- This drabble is kind of cliche and all with Izuki, but then again, when you think about Izuki, the first thing that comes to mind is just PUNS PUNS PUNS and PUNS.

Note: The pickup lines used in this drabble were not created by me (I'm not talented in that area). I found them on the internet. A few were from a website called pick up lines galore dot com. Another, if you search "10 pick-up puns nobody will resist", it will lead you to the website.

In which Moriyama decides to teach Izuki all about picking up girls and chaos ensues (because why not)...

By all means, Moriyama Yoshitaka was a talented young man - especially in regards to his basketball skills. Compared to the rest of his teammates, he was considered intelligent and blessed appearance-wise. If Kise was not part of the basketball team, he would have been no doubt nominated as the best looking member in the basketball team.

However, he had a fatal flaw. His overly flirtatious personality was what made most girls- no screw that, everyone cringe. Most girls were beguiled by his charming appearance, but the way that he presented himself to others just made them want to bury themselves into a hole; it was that bad.

Despite the obvious culprit behind his unpopularity, the man himself was completely oblivious to this fact and continued believing that he was handsome and wanted by most girls, much to his teammates' chagrin. Though his teammates would never say it in front of the man's face, they believed that he was in complete denial.

Kobori, being the motherly-figure in the team once confronted Kasamatsu about whether they should help the poor man, but Kasamatsu dismissed him immediately, saying that some things just cannot be fixed...

Yet none of them knew that their decision to ignore their teammate's problems would lead to a disaster befalling on a completely different individual.

"Izuki, did something happen?" the point-guard turned towards his captain, who was creeped out by the fact that his dear friend was radiating out an overly flowery aura. Izuki merely continued on smiling as he walked side by side with Hyuuga.

"Nothing happened. Why?" Izuki replied as Hyuuga sweat dropped.

"Uh...I was just wondering why you looked so happy today," Hyuuga muttered as he scratched the back of his head, feeling a migraine making its way up to his head. At the moment, both of them were walking around in town, searching for new sports equipment, including basketball shoes. However, he had noticed that something was clearly off about his companion and when he meant off, he meant it in a disturbing way.

"Oh- Hyuuga, don't you think that girl is cute?!" Izuki suddenly hollered as he pointed towards a young girl who was walking alone in the mall. Before Hyuuga could even reply, however, the man was already bouncing his way towards the young girl.

"WHA- IZUKI, YOU BASTARD, GET BACK HERE," Hyuuga yelled out after his dear companion, but it was too late as he watched the young girl turn around to stare at his friend. Hyuuga mentally sighed before he face palmed, moving his way behind a pillar in order to conceal himself from view.

He definitely did not want to be Izuki's friend at the moment.

"Hey there, cutie pie," Hyuuga cringed as he heard his friend talk to the girl who was obviously confused at the sudden interaction with a complete stranger. He immediately prepared himself for his friend's horrifying attempt at courting a woman...

However, he definitely did not expect the string of words that came out of his friend's mouth.

"Do you know what's on the menu?" Izuki suddenly said, as the girl cocked her head in inquiry to the side. "Me-n-u, that's what."

Behind the pillar, Hyuuga almost threw himself down onto the ground in shock. He gaped as he listened to what his friend was saying. Although he expected his friend to completely fail at picking up a girl, he would not in a million years expect his friend to incorporate puns and pick up lines together.

"Are you perhaps from Seoul? Because I think that you're my soulmate," Izuki continued to blab on as the girl trembled in fear and horror at what the man in front of her was saying. Hyuuga felt like killing himself right then and there.

"Do you know what my T-shirt is made out of? Boyfriend material."

"I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain."

"Is your name Wifi? Because I'm really feeling a connection."

"Let me tie your shoes, because I don't want you falling for anyone else."

At this point, Hyuuga could no longer keep it in and decided to leap out and drag his teammate forcefully away from the frightened young girl. He apologised to the young girl for his teammate's behaviour and pulled his teammate with him out the mall.

"Wait- Hyuuga, I almost got her! YOUNG GIRL, CAN I FOLLOW YOU HOME? BECAUSE MY PARENTS ALWAYS TOLD ME TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS-"

"IZUKI, SHUT UP."

"I THOUGHT HAPPINESS STARTED WITH H. WHY DOES MINE START WITH U-"

"THAT'S NOT EVEN A PUN ANYMORE, IZUKI."

There were times where Kasamatsu Yukio wished he belonged to a different basketball team. As much as he liked being Kaijou's captain, sometimes, he wished that his team wasn't completely overrun by a bunch of idiots. His teammates seemed to be causing problems for him, no matter where they were located on earth. For heavens sake, he wouldn't be surprised at all if someone called him to inform him that his teammate was currently wrecking havoc somewher-

*RING* *RING*

Kasamatsu's eyebrows twitched at the noise. For some odd reason, he felt like this was a call he would not enjoy answering. However, being the responsible man he was, he had no choice but to answer the call, since there was a possibility that it was urgent business that needed his attendance - though there was a ninety nine point nine percent that it was most likely his teammates messing things up again.

"...Yes?" Kasamatsu reluctantly answered his phone, waiting for news about his teammates.

"...Is this Kasamatsu-san?" a familiar voice was heard from his phone.

For a second, Kasamatsu almost dropped his phone in shock. Although he had Seirin's captain's phone number, he did not expect the young captain to call him. The only plausible reason why the man was calling him...would only be because something had happened which involved a certain group of idiots he was well acquainted with.

"Yeah, is that you, Hyuuga?" he replied.

"Yeah, there's something that I would like to tell you before things get even more out of hand," Kasamatsu felt a migraine making its way up to his head. "Would you mind making sure that Moriyama Yoshitaka keeps his hands off Izuki for a while? He's been an interesting influence and I really don't need that shit right now."

The caller immediately hung up, leaving Kasamatsu seething with anger alone on the streets in the middle of the night.

The next day, the Kaijou members wondered why Moriyama's training menu was the only one that had been quadrupled.