Sunny Days

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Silverclan challenge - Death

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.Chronophobic.

~OoO~

I remember.

I remember those sunny days, those perfect days, those days when I was truly happy. How they had come like a perfect dream and left like a nightmare. A nightmare I would never forget.

I remember my friends. My family.

And I remember you, most of all.

You're real. I know you are. It doesn't matter if everyone calls me crazy, because I know I'm not. Why is everyone staring at me like that? Why does everyone think I'm lying, think I'm just making all of this up? I'm not. I never was.

You are real.

As real as reality can be

Sometimes, when greenleaf comes again, I'd watch the leaves, the breeze, the sun. The sun, how it'd cast its warm rays on the land and the leaves, how they'd rustle and whisper when the breeze would lift the wings of the songbirds, and the birds, their melodies would travel over the land, over the trees and over the grass. Oh, those thin, delicate but powerful blades of grass as they'd struggle to survive, and every time they fell, they'd stand up again.

I wish I could see that one more time. I wish I could feel that one more time.

But that's all I can do for now

If I was there with you, what would've happened? Will my world have been gone forever like it did? Gone like it is?

I stroll through newleaf, greenleaf, leaf-fall, and watch them all die away. My paws, they would walk the same path. My fur, how it would brush the leaves. Those lush green leaves all around me, surrounding me, begging me to believe that they're actually there, but I know better.

I know they're just a dream.

A dream which I can hold onto and never let go

I imagine.

The sky would hold the sunhigh rays up in the air, so high and out of any cat's reach. The warm light would settle on each strand of my fur and make my white pelt seem golden.

If the sun danced above me, would it let me join in?

I spot something in the wide open lands of RiverClan. A sparkling, thin blue and silver line that glimmers and flickers in the distance under the sunlight. As I pad nearer, it grows thicker. And I see it's not just a mirror reflecting the sky. I realize the river has its own beauty too.

White and silver blurs flash by in the water. I'd glance in with curiosity, although I already knew well enough what it was. They were the lives that kept us alive.

I swiped a paw in, feeling the cool, refreshing water rush to my fur and work its wonders under my skin. It felt so comforting, relaxing, at home, to just lie there and stay there forever.

I wish I could've.

And all I could do was wish

The camp was how I remembered it too. I walked in, finding the clearing with a hard, solid ground beneath my paws that marked the RiverClan camp. And the cats. Oh, all the cats and their familiar faces. They were there.

You were too.

We would bathe under the sunlight and sip on the moonshine. We would dance with the rain and whisper with the greenleaf foliage, watching the birds fly by overhead, so free, calling the clear blue sky its home.

We would sit together, beside each other, and we would wonder: will life ever pass us by?

Everything was perfect. Completely and utterly perfect.

And it all shattered a heartbeat later.

And we cried like the sky in the rain

A thousand glinting fangs and gleaming eyes burst through the darkness. Blood curdling yowls slashed the air. My vision went blurry, and soon you were gone.

"ATTACK!"

Before I had any sense of what was happening, something charged straight at me and knocked the air out of me. My eyes widened until the outer white rim was visible and I crashed to the ground, laying there limply.

"Swiftpaw! Swiftpaw!"

I heard my name. Is that you? Or is it just my past echoing back and speaking to me?

The dust blinded the whole camp and I could feel the ground under me shift and vibrate. I could feel claws slash my side and the deafening storm that started above overpowered the screaming, crying cats.

We were in war. But with whom? And more importantly, did it matter?

"Where are you?!"

My voice was only faint and melted with the violent scene. I could tell all that I was doing was no use, because I had felt several hard blows hit my side. I tried to fight back, but it was no use.

I couldn't see anything anymore.

My breath was growing weaker and weaker, my vision getting more blurred by the second. My consciousness seemed to slip away into the darkness.

I could only manage one last feeble, helpless call into the battle in the storm until my tail fell limply, my head fell lifelessly, and my flank stopped moving.

"Live . . . Live, for me . . ."

If I give up on you, will you give up on me?

Where am I?

If death overtook me, maybe I'd finally be happy. Maybe, maybe I'd see you again...

But no, there is no darkness. I don't see the pitch-blackness of eternal night, or a moonless blanket of dark spread above me. All I see – all I saw – was light. Light, everywhere.

It was what the world looked like before everything happened. Before what happened all came crashing down like a hurricane and hit me like a lightning bolt.

It looked perfect.

Right then, I was afraid to open my eyes for real. What if everything was gone again? What if you disappeared again? What if...?

If I could run away from reality and stay in this dream forever, I would

But when I opened my eyes again, nothing changed.

Then . . . Then does that mean . . . it's not real? None of it is real? Was everything just another illusion that would haunt me, following me like a fake, dark grey shadow as I walked?

Maybe it was.

Maybe life was just an illusion.

But you weren't, I know you weren't

On some leaf-fall nights, when the wind swirled through the few thin, baring trees on our territory, making the dried-up leaves dance, I would sneak out of the apprentice's den and wander off.

To where, I may not even know.

I'd just find the same place I went to every night. And it may have even developed into a habit now. My paws would almost automatically carry me, like a silent silver breeze under my body, to my destination and drop me quietly down onto the ground.

The same moon-washed boulder that jutted out of the hard, frosted ground in the darkness that no one ever wanted to look for. But it gave me a clear view of the night sky. That beautiful, silvery, lonely night sky. And the stars, oh how they'd shine so pretty, twinkling in the high as if giving me a greeting, a signal, confirming that I'm actually here and not just invisible mist trying to blend in with the cool night air.

You must be up there. You must be out there.

Somewhere . . .

Maybe you're up in the stars, looking down on me

My paws felt heavy as I trudged through the marshlands, through the rain. For the first time in my life, the mushy land under my paws was irritating me. I felt like I would sink in and drift down under the murky water without a sound.

But it was what my home felt like. My home since the time I was born and knew what everything should feel like.

But maybe . . . maybe not anymore.

If I was still in your heart, I would be home

The trek seemed harsh and long. It seemed to drag on forever, but there was a light at the end. Like the light of tomorrow.

Like the light I would never catch.

I felt like I was in a tunnel. A dark tunnel in which I couldn't see any walls trapping me, but I wouldn't try to escape either. Padding through the blackness, I peered at toward what I could, trying to make out an exit, a place where the road would end.

There was a faint, faint light, ever so dim but definitely there. It flickered and flitted like a golden butterfly. And like any prey drawn to a lure, I followed. Followed mindlessly and blankly as my paws dragged me toward that destination.

That light that would be my savior.

However, as I kept padding, that light at the "end" faded and was growing fainter by the second, the tunnel feeling more and more suffocating, trapping me within its depths. And then, the light fully vanished.

I didn't know then, but I realize now. I realize that tunnel was never-ending.

And I now know that tunnel . . . was you.

Or to be more precise, the times I spent with you.

You told me those days would last forever

They would end one day. Everything eventually would. But you and I, being the foolish kits we were, ignored the truth and followed the lies. A path of lies that eventually lead to reality, and our dreams, once connected as one, now split apart and we separated paths.

Then we woke up.

Glancing up, I saw that the skies looked so lonely. I felt so lonely without you.

"Swiftpaw . . ."

You'd still whisper in my ear form time to time. I believed you were real. I always did and I always will.

Maybe those days did end, but that doesn't mean they never happened, right?

I believed you

I felt alone, but I know I am sane. I was not seeing things. You were right beside me, flanking me as I walked the most dangerous paths, still encouraging me to go on. I will not believe those lies that they tell me, no matter what.

"I am here, Swiftpaw. I am here, we are here. We are not gone, and we never will be."

I believed you. And as I turned my head to look at the glowing crimson setting sun, the ending of today and marking the starting of tomorrow, I smiled at the horizon. I knew I would never catch up to it, but if I ever caught it, what else would there be to chase?

I'll remember you forever.

I'll remember all those sunny days . . .

"Always . . ."

And I will never let them go.

That was a challenge for Silverclan. The challenge was "Death". And yeah, although it's not super clear at the beginning and stuff, I hope you liked it, Silver. And I hope it passes! (also, yes, I know that sometimes it switches tenses, but I kinda meant for it to be that way . . . kinda) I actually had half of it already typed up, but somehow my computer had a problem and then I lost it all. :( So then I had to restart and I'm sorry if this one isn't as good as the first, because I left out a lot of parts (it still makes sense though, so I just left it at this). I just couldn't spend as much time remembering the whole thing and making it all as it was before. Anyway, I hope I can become a warrior now! :D

By the way, for the story, I know it doesn't exactly specify who the main character Swiftpaw is actually talking to or talking about. So, it's kind of up to you to decide. It could be a friend, a family member, a simply clanmate (although I'd think it would be closer than that) or a lover or whatever. And it's also the simple memory of those perfect days that she longs for. (But it's definitely also an actual cat, since that's the challenge.)

Until next time,
Chrono :)