A/N: I do not own anything. Be warned, this story is currently being fueled by a hyper mind. HAPPY PI DAY! I already gave you the sixth chapter in my Joker story and the fifth chapter in my Gravity Falls series, but I want to give you a third course, so to speak, of hilarity. ENJOY!

Grunkle Stan's Guide To Pi Day!

Grunkle Stan paced around the Shack, grumbling to himself. "Hey, kids! KIDS! I need some help."

As soon as they walked in, he continued. "So, I've been making these columns for the paper on what to do on certain days. Today is Pi Day. I have no idea what to write about. I don't know about math!"

Mabel's face lit up. "I can help you make a pie! Let's do it!"

Five hours later…

The entirety of the Mystery Shack was covered in gloop. Waddles was running around like a hyper toddler, gleefully licking up the stuff. Soos was screaming for help, trapped inside of a huge lump of dough. Meanwhile, Dipper and Mabel were frantically whacking a giant, sentient hunk of chocolate pie. Grunkle Stan was eating some raspberry pie in the backyard.

"Mabel! Get the spatulas!" Dipper threw the cookbook at the creature, but it was disintegrated. "What? How does that even work? Is it an acid dough thing?"

Mabel scooped up some vegetables. "If I know my logic, then healthy things can cancel out the pie's rage! TOSS VEGGIES AT THE PIE!"

And so, the duo magnificently saved the day by throwing healthy objects at the pie! It shrank and shrank, until it was gobbled up by Waddles. Soos ate his way out of the separate chunk and Grunkle Stan was too engrossed in his raspberry pie to notice anything! That is the story of what happened on Pi Day...if this was a cheesy, bad story. No, because we like to subvert expectations, here's what really happened.

"Dipper!" Mable screamed. "I know how to stop the pie! Recite the digits of pi! 3.145...Uh…Darn!"

Old Man McGuckett charged in on a giant Rottweiler. "Never fear, children! My magic donkey and I can save the day!" Brandishing a radish, he charged the beast...and was swallowed whole.

Dipper smacked his forehead. "That was pointless. What can we do?"

At that moment, the monster began to grow. Consuming most of the objects in the Shack must have caused this! Waddles valiantly tried to consume more of it, but he had a tummy ache. Whimpering, he ran upstairs, accidentally knocking over Mabel's CD player. It unintentionally activated the player, causing a Sev'ral Timez song to begin playing.

"Please help us, we are trapped! This guy is a mad scientist!"

"Greedy, money-loving! Willing to play with human genetics!"

"We're going to rot under his rule! HEELLPPPPP!"

The sounds of the oddly disturbing song caused the monster to scream, or, considering it was made out of wheat, giggle like the Pillsbury Doughboy. It went back to the size of a raisin, which Waddles quickly ate as a mint.

Dipper beamed. "Well, Mabel, it looks like the power of rock saved us all!"The music was so bad that it killed the monster!

Mabel hugged him. "Yes, brother, it did. Let us laugh in joy!"

And they laughed and laughed, while Grunkle Stan noshed on his treat.

Suddenly, Mabel stopped. "Wait...I like Sev'ral Timez. I don't that's even the slightest bit funny."

The End