Okay, so hey. I guess it's been awhile huh? Probably a few weeks or so. I'm trying to start on a Coppelion fic, but as I write it, ideas of KamiKoto stories just pop up and I can't get them out of my head. This story is one of them. Can you believe that I actually got the idea for this while we were having a test in English? A friend of mine was singing "I'd Rather" by Joe Earshot during free period and it kind of stuck on me. So while I was answering the test, we had to use the proper cohesive devices to complete the thought of the sentence (yeah, I know. It's pretty elementary but our teacher ran out of things to teach us to last the final week of school so there.). I don't know why but there was one question that really struck me. It was a screenplay okay?

No. I have to stay with him. (But why? He never cared about you!) I..I know, but…he needs me right now…as…a friend, besides, we've been friends for so long, I can't just leave him.

The answer was "besides". And I got it right. So yeah, this story will be based on the song I'd Rather and on the test in English that I had. You can also include 61wisampa's What Causes a Spark as an influence. Read that story to know how things started for one of the characters and Mikoto. I hope you enjoy!

I'D RATHER

Dear stupid mobile Diary that I never even wanted to have if not for Kuroko's persistence,

It's been a week since I've seen him.

A whole week since we've had that argument about something so stupid. Since I made an argument about something stupid. And now here I am, sulking in my dorm room, lying on my bed, crying on my pillow, holding my phone in the dark, typing useless stuff on you and wanting to tear the pictures of us that I had into pieces but can't muster the courage to do so. That stupid Idiot and I have been…in a complicated relationship for the past month. I mean, we're not exclusively dating or anything, but we're not nothing at the same time. I know, I know. It's confusing as hell. But if you're already confused form just hearing this, what more could it be for me, right? But to put it straight, we're still both single.

You probably won't understand me right? Since I am speaking of pretext here. But it just hurts so much you know? Reliving those moments when a simple outing for me and a friend turned into hell for me and my not-so-likely-boyfriend. But fine, since I have all day to sulk in here, let's get this flashback over with.

I just arrived from my month long trip in Kazakhstan on Thursday, so I was pretty tired. I lost my phone and all my contacts so despite my fatigue, the first thing I did after asking someone to deliver my luggage to my room was walking around Academy City, trying to find my friends. Classes were over, so I bet they were strolling around or something. The first person I wanted to visit was Touma. Not to be assuming and all….but I think that…well, maybe he was worried about me being gone for so long without texting him or emailing him. I knocked on his apartment door, but he wasn't there. He was probably out in the park. That was where we always went to, together. Maybe he missed me, so he went there. I could feel the heat on my face, but I couldn't help but smile at the thought that I could see him again came to mind.

So, there I was, naïve old me, walking through the streets of Academy City. I made it to the park and my heart was just thumping out of my chest. It was hard to breathe but I couldn't help but feel excited. But that was immediately shattered when I saw something. Touma was there, eating ice cream with a girl, probably in his grade judging from the uniform, laughing happily together. Calm down, Mikoto. He's a stupid, dense idiot. He couldn't possibly be going out on dates, while he's been worried sick about you. Could he? Was he even worried about you? Just go and talk to him and everything will be cleared. Just go…and talk.

As I walked closer to them, I couldn't help but overhear parts of the conversation they had.

"So then, Touma-kun~" Ugh. That was waaaaaaay too gooey for his liking. "You've never really had a girlfriend before?"

"Nope." He answered, licking his ice cream. "Not one. I haven't even courted a girl before."

"Oh really? Then what about that girl from Tokiwadai you're always with?" The girl asked, clinging to his arm. Calm down Mikoto. MUST. RESIST. URGE. TO. ZAP. "Rumors have been spreading that you're dating her you know. Some even say that she's one of the level 5's!"

"Who? Misaka?" Touma asked with raised eyebrows. "You've got to be kidding me. There's no way I'm going out with her. She's in middle school." AND YOUR POINT IS?!

"So you see her as a little girl then?"

"Well, no. not exactly little. She's more of a younger sister you know. The type that you never actually wanted but then just pop out of nowhere and suddenly you feel responsible for her and stuff. I always end up bumping into her, I kinda feel bad for just leaving her so I accompany her every time." H-he…thought of me that way? I felt something painful claw at my heart, but I tried to fight the urge to go there and ask him myself.

"So you don't like her?"

"Depends on the context of like." He answered, shrugging his shoulders. "I don't exactly hate being with her, she's fun to be with really, but she can be very short tempered and her violent tendencies can be annoying—"

"Touma?" I said, appearing from behind a tree. Touma and the girl he was with turned to me, their expressions never changing. "Hey, I just got back from a month long trip in Kazakhstan and I—"

"Eh? You went to Kazakhstan for a month?" Now that hurt. "I hadn't noticed that you were gone. But really? For a month?"

"Y-yeah." I said through gritted teeth trying to control my anger and hurt. So you really didn't know? Did you ever even care about me? Care about what I might've been doing in a whole month in a different country?! "I just wanted to come by and tell you that I was fine and if I worried you then—"

"Worry?" He said looking at me quizzically. "Why would I be worried about you?"

And that was the final straw for me. I held my hand up and slapped him across his face. The sound of it resounded all throughout the park, making random people turn to us. The girl he was with backed away, staring at me in horror, while Touma just stared at me, holding his reddened cheek in his hands. I clenched my fists before turning my back and running away, my tears flying through the air. He didn't even bother to call after me. He just stood there, watching me as I left. I knew we weren't really together, but he made me feel like we could be together. But after all I've heard, that illusion was shattered completely.

The next day, Friday, we had our System Scan, and they decided to measure my ability first under an audience to inspire them to do even better at their respective tests. I ended up going overboard with my first 5 shots (due to my lack of sleep, puffy eyes and heartache), making everyone soaking wet because of the pool water. I managed to get it slightly under control during my 6th shot and thank god it lasted till the end. While I was walking back to my changing room,

"Misaka-san?" one of the researchers called my name, walking up to me.

"Yes?" I said, trying to be polite.

"You're powers have greatly improved." She said looking over the statistical data they had of me and my powers. "Your Railgun is certainly more powerful than it was in the last tests. Have you changed anything in your daily routine as of lately? Maybe this could help the others improve too!"

"Ah, well.." I said thinking about it. If you count chasing after a certain idiot who can nullify anything I throw at him as a change then… Oh god. I'm thinking about him again. "Well, no. I haven't really done anything. I guess I just focused and concentrated more today, plus I was pretty nervous so I couldn't control my powers correctly." I answered modestly. She jotted down everything I said and after smiling and thanking me, she suddenly run off. Really. I opened the door to the changing room and into the shower room I went. I slipped my clothes off my body and turned on the water, singing a familiar tune as I did. No one else was there, so I really didn't have to hold back on the volume or anything.

"You're lying. Something has changed the past month~!" a voice said.

"Really?" I said, scrubbing some shampoo on my hair. "Honestly speaking, the only change that has happened is between me and that idiot."

"Oh? So you and Kamijou-kun finally got together~?!"

"Uh…well, not…not exactly…" I said with a blush, as I played with the ends of my hair that was lathered in shampoo. Wait a second. WHAT THE HELL?! "W-WHO GOES THERE?!" I shouted, moving back. I was about to take my towel but it fell to the other side of the door when I accidentally bumped into it. Oh great.

"You just realized that?" The voice laughed, it was only then did I realize that the person I was talking to was a guy. And here I am completely naked. Well, at least he was decent enough to pick up the towel and slung it over the door, allowing me to grab it. "Don't worry. Just hurry up and finish your shower, then we'll talk? Okay, Miko-chan~?" There's only one b-st-rd in this planet who could do this and call me that. "I'll be right here~"

"Oh dammit." I cursed, hurriedly scrubbing my body and rinsing my head. In three minutes, I was done, I hurriedly wrapped the towel around me, but then I realized the problem at hand. CLOTHES.

"Hey, hey~!" I imagined that blonde headed idiot on the other side of the door, smiling like an idiot. Ugh, I just wanna punch him. "You already done Miko-chan? Want me to get your clothes for you~?"

"Try anything funny and I swear that I will fry your brain." I said through clenched teeth as I glared at his silhouette. "You damned Lightning God, Thor."

"Well, I am honored that you remember my name, Miss Electro Princess." He said sliding the basket of clothes under the door. "I didn't rummage through your clothes, so don't worry about that okay Miko-chan~?"

"You are such a…UGH." I hurriedly put on my clothes, not caring if my hair was dripping wet. When I was sure that I was fully clothed, I barged out the door and was immediately faced with the Lightning God, sitting cross legged on one of the benches, smiling at me.

"Hey there~!" He greeted. "Huh? Aren't you gonna dry your hair Miko-chan? You're gonna catch a cold if you don't."

"Don't give me that crap." I said rubbing the towel against my head. "Why are you here? It's been like…what? Almost a year since the last time you needed our help."

"Technically speaking Miko-chan, we only needed Kamijou-kun's help. You were just support, but thanks for that nonetheless." He said smiling. "Anyway, to answer your question, believe it or not, I'm actually here for what one may call a normal weekend. I just finished a mission and I won't be needed by my cabal until next week, so I'm staying here, in Academy City. I shouldn't be here, not until next week, but I couldn't wait to see you~!"

"That explains why you're here in Academy City, but that doesn't explain why you're here, in Tokiwadai, in the shower room talking to me like you just didn't do something wrong!"

"But I really didn't. I'd never do something you wouldn't want me to, Miko-chan. I already told you that, and besides, have you forgotten what today is?" He asked as he furrowed his eyebrows and pouted at me, seemingly hurt. "It's been exactly 11 months and 3 weeks since I last met you. You promised me, didn't you?"

I stared at him bewilderedly, trying to remember what had happened almost a year ago. What is he—OH. It was then did it hit me. He was talking about THAT. Oh dear.

"So, you remember now, right, Miko-chan?" Thor asked cheerfully. He really can be such a kid at times. "11 months and 3 weeks ago, we went out on a date, and when I asked you if it was alright to court you, you said that you didn't know. I made you promise that in a year, you'd finally give me an answer. But as I said, I arrived a week early, so I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

"Well..no, it's not exactly an inconvenience, but you really surprised me. You shouldn't just pop out of nowhere and talk to me while I'm taking a shower! You should -*thud*" Huh? What was that sound? I looked forward, towards the direction where the sound came from and I was left utterly speechless. Thor seemed to have noticed my shock as he turned his head and looked at what was behind him.

"Oh hey!" He said with a smile, standing up. "It's the girl who's obsessed with you Miko-chan~! What was your name again…uhh….Kuro-chan was it? Wow it's been awhile! How're you doing?" Is this guy a total idiot or what?! Kuroko, along with a few other girls were right at the door, staring at me and Thor. Kuroko was sitting on the floor, looking desperate, while the others nearly had their eyeballs out of their sockets. This is gonna be one hell of an explanation. A minute has passed yet no one bothered to say a word at all. Thor was looking at us back and forth, probably wondering what was wrong. I was about to speak, until a girl beat me to it.

"Misaka-sama?" She asked politely. 'Who is that person that is with you? Inside a shower room?"

"Uhm…before I answer that question, can I just ask how long you guys have been there?" I asked worriedly.

"Pardon us but we were here when that person explained what had transpired almost a year ago between the both of you." A different girl answered with a blush. A blush?! Why was she blushing?!

"Ahahahahahaha…" I laughed dryly. "Is that so? T-then I guess I have to explain this now…don't I?"

"OF COURSE YOU SHOULD ONEE-SAMA!" Kuroko snapped. Oh great. I thought she had passed out and she'd be quiet until the rest of this but I guess not. "Why is that prince here in the shower room with you as you bathed?! It's one thing for you to be out with that ape, but for you to be with this prince at school is just…it's just-!"

"Geez, calm down Kuroko. Anyway, we should go." I hurriedly reached for Thor's hand and dragged him towards the door. The girls gave way to us as we passed them by, but not a single word was said. When I heard Kuroko calling after me, I made a run for it, pulling Thor along behind me. We sped through the hallways, making both teachers and students look at us weirdly. I am so dead. Ugh, I don't have the time to think of this, I need to get Thor out of here!

"What in the world is seriously wrong with you?!" I screamed at him, as we sat on a bench, panting and catching our breaths. "Do you not realize the danger you put both of us through? Boys aren't allowed in the School Garden, much less in Tokiwadai itself! If we were caught, I could've gotten expelled you know!"

"I'm very sorry Miko-chan. I promise not to do it again. I wouldn't want you getting into trouble right before you graduate." He said with a smile. "It'd be a waste of your perfect grades and your top honors."

"Well, as long as you're sorry." I said with a sigh as I slumped back on the bench. "Hey wait, how did you know that I was graduating? That I have top honors? We haven't really been keeping in touch the past year."

"I didn't want to bother you by calling you frequently. I knew just how busy you were with school and being a level 5, so I thought that you wouldn't have the time. So I just decided to keep my eye on you. I know you did a demonstration in Russia, went to an expo in England which I attended, you visited a few institutions along with the blonde telepathic level 5 in Australia and you went to Kazakhstan for a bit for military study purposes. I was kinda worried about you being in the middle of a war-zone you know." Okay, wow. He really has been keeping an eye on me. Now I suddenly feel bad for actually forgetting about the promise I made to him. He's such a sweet guy but I made him wait for me like this.

"I'm impressed." I said standing up and walking towards the vending machine. "No one ever pays that much attention to me. Anyway, I'm thirsty, want a drink?"

"Okay then. Be careful okay? You might injure your foot when you kick that. It is made of solid steel; even your electricity won't be able to help you if you get hurt." He said watching me carefully with a smile. He doesn't think I'm un-lady like at all? That's weird. Touma would've gone crazy and righteous about not stealing from machines and stuff. As I prepared myself to kick the machine, Thor spoke again. "What did you mean when you said that no one paid attention to you?"

"I mean it as I said it." I answered, kicking the machine with all my might. Two drinks popped out of it as I caught them in mid air. I tossed one to Thor who mouthed a thanks as I opened mine. "My friends don't bother much since they're pretty much used to me leaving for long periods of time. My parents just want me to text them if I'm okay and all. They're family so it's an exception. The fans are another thing though." I said chugging down on the orange soda I got.

"And Kamijou-kun?" Thor asked, making my squish the aluminum can in my hand. "Doesn't he ever worry about you? I mean surely, he must—"

"He doesn't even notice that I'm gone." I answered irately as I tossed the can straight to the trash can. I sat back down beside him and stared at the leaves of the trees that danced with the wind. "Do you remember how long I was gone for each trip of mine?"

"Of course I do." He said with a smile. "For Russia, you were gone for two weeks. You stayed in England for a week and 3 days, since your flight got delayed. Australia lasted three weeks for you, because the Blondie couldn't get enough of cheese and chocolate fondue over there. Kazakhstan had me worried the most. You were gone for a month and you lost your phone at the airport so you couldn't contact anyone. Good thing your father was passed by the country on your third day there, so he took care of calling your mother and buying you a new phone."

"Are you sure you're a magician?" I gawked at him. "I'd believe it if you were a spy or an agent or something! How come you know everything that happened to me this past year?"

"I have my ways, Miko-chan. Though getting to England to watch your expo was a bit hard. And remember those thugs who tried to pick on you on your first night in Kazakhstan? The ones who called you a little girl, saying stuff like they were the big bad wolves and they were out to get you?"

"Seriously, how did you—"

"I took care of them." He said shrugging his shoulders freely. " Right after your flight back to Japan left, I had a mission there. The first thing I did was find him and beat him to a pulp~" Okay, now I am dumbstruck. Not only has he been keeping an eye on me, he kept track of everything that happened to me, and even went so far as to watch an expo I was partaking in. But most of all, he was worried about me. How did he even manage to finish his mission in Kazakhstan in a day and get to Academy City?!

"Why?" I breathed out lowly.

"Hmm?" He said as he sipped his juice. "What did you say?"

"Why…are you so attentive of me?" I asked staring down at my feet. "Even Touma…even Touma didn't care when I went for Kazakhstan. He didn't even notice that I was gone. How could you, someone who isn't here, be worried about me? I even made you wait for so long, and you never complained."

"Wait, so Kamijou-kun didn't even worry about you?" He repeated flabbergastedly. "You hadn't texted him or called him or e-mailed him for a month and he wasn't worried about you? At all?"

I looked up at the sky and shook my head. We were quiet like that for a few seconds, until I heard him grip the can until it got bent, throwing it into the trash can.

"When exactly did all this happen?"

"I arrived yesterday. Do the math genius." I sighed. "I haven't talked it over with him. I saw him with another girl and they were talking about how he'd never want to date me, then I went over and said hi, he said he didn't even notice that I was gone and I got mad and I slapped him and—"

"You slapped him?" I nodded. "Hard?" I nodded again. "In front of the other girl?" I nodded again. "Feisty." Now that made me laugh.

"As I said, I slapped him, I didn't say a word, I ran away and he didn't even bother to call or text me after that. Not that he could of course, since I did change my phone. But even so, it just pisses me off that he didn't care at all. I mean, I know we're not dating at all, but still. Even as a friend? He didn't worry about me like that? Maybe it's because I'm too boyish. Maybe I should try to act more girly and stuff, maybe then he'd finally noti—"

"No." Thor said sternly, taking both of my hands. "No. Don't change yourself like that."

"But nobody will ever like me if I continue to be like this and—"

"I like you." He said again, making me stop. "I love you. Kamijou-kun is an idiot for not noticing how special you are, but seriously. Don't change yourself just so someone could like you, Miko-chan."

"Even if that person is the one that you love?" What the hell Mikoto? Did you really have to rub salt all over the poor guy's wounds? Here you are, asking love advice from the person whose heart you are breaking! Don't be so insensitive.

"Hey, I love you and I'm not trying to change myself right?" He said with a small smile. "I'm not trying to ruin Kamijou-kun's chances or anything, but really. If someone really loves you, then they'd love you for who you are, not for someone you're pretending to be."

"So I'm okay with the way I am?"

"Of course you are." He said, ruffling my hair. "You are perfectly imperfect. All your negative attributes have a positive side to them. Like your childishness for example. For Catholics, it has been written in their Bible that man must learn to be more like children. Your innocence and simplicity make you so darn, irresistibly cute you know?"

This guy… He always seems to know what to say at the right times. He's sensitive and sweet. Sometimes, I just really wonder what it must feel like to love someone other than an insensitive idiot. To love someone like Thor, but then again, I really can't force my heart to do anything.

"Seriously though. I've already made it clear to Kamijou-kun about my intentions of you. I can't believe he would stupidly allow something like this to happen. And to think I actually thought he genuinely cared for you." He said with an irritated face. "He's very lucky. He already has hold of your heart, yet he's just…sorry for the word, but he's just not caring about it. While I have to prove to you that I am serious about you, and that I really want to make you happy. Kind of unfair, don't you think?"

"I'm sorry if you feel that way about all this, Thor." I said with my head held down. "I'm really sorry for getting your hopes up."

"N-no!" He panicked. "Oh come on, Miko-chan. Don't be like that. You know how much I hate it when you're sad! Really! You don't have to worry about anything at all! I'm perfectly content with what we have now. Though I'm not really sure what it is, I'm happy. You trusted me enough to tell me of your problems and you see me as a friend. You know what they say right? It's better to be good friends before lovers than lovers to torn friends."

"You do realize that there is no quote as messy as that right?" I said with a laugh. "You probably shouldn't be a philanthropist. It doesn't suit you."

"Well, I'm just glad." Thor said leaning back on the bench we sat on, the bright rays of the sun gleaming on his face. "You're finally laughing again. That's all I ever want. For you to be happy."

He looked at me with such innocence, it almost blinded me. This guy…I used to think that magicians were underhanded cheaters, but he…he's just too nice. Or maybe, he's just nice to me. He's showing me this much kindness, but all I give in return in heart break. What kind of a person am I?

"Ne, Miko-chan?" Thor sad standing up. He smiled down at me, before offering me his hand. "Care to join me for a date this lovely afternoon?" He offered, curtsying with a bow. I smiled and nodded, taking his hand as I stood up. And as we walked away, from the corner of my eye, I saw HIM.

Kamijou Touma.

He was just standing there, watching me and Thor like some creepy old serial killer/stalker. We were both looking at each other. He didn't make a move, even as Thor escorted me out of the park we were in. He just stayed there, looking at me with a face that showed hurt and betrayal. I wanted to go over to him and tell him I'm sorry. Tell him that this was nothing. Tell him how much I love him.

But I will not. I refuse to let myself get hurt by him again. I've been blinded by love once, I will not be blinded again.

"Miko-chan? Is there something wrong?" Thor asked as he stopped tugging on my hand, looking at me worriedly. I took a breath before smiling at him and holding onto his arm, something which surprised him greatly.

"I'm fine Thor. Great even. Let's go?" I said cheerfully as we moved on. I took one last glance at him, before he got covered by the silhouette of the trees. The look on his face was priceless. 'I'm sick and tired of all the pain Touma. This time, it's your turn.'

And that was the last time I ever saw him. As I said, it has been a week, and if you're wondering. Yes, I've been spending the entire week, going out on dates with Thor. He seems really nice and I really enjoy his company. He makes me happy. But for some reason, there's still this gaping hole in my heart. A hole wherein even the joy of being with Thor could never fill.

I really am trying you know. I try hard to let go of him, the feelings I have, and all the pain that I feel. It's only been a week, but I'm half-way through it. Today is the day. Today is the day I make my decision. It's been an entire year since Thor had asked for my heart and hand. And if things go well, he might just get it. I should be happy right? He's handsome, he's smart, he's kind, and he's all a girl ever wants. And he wants to be mine. I should be happy. But why aren't I?

Two knock on the door were heard, and Kuroko looked at my with a sympathetic face.

"I believe that's your date Onee-sama." She said in a low voice. Even though I never tell her anything, Kuroko knows that something is wrong. She's been asking me questions every night, asking me why I was doing this and if I was sure I'd be happy with it. And all I've been saying is Yes.

"I'll see you later Kuroko." I said as I wore my sandals and straightened my white dress. I am going on this date, and I am going to be happy.

"Please be careful Onee-sama. Be sure to be back by 10, the Dorm Mistress will not appreciate you being gone." She bade as she watched me with a smile. "You look very beautiful. Whoever holds your heart is a very lucky man."

"Yeah, thanks." I said with a smile. 'Lucky? Yeah right. He's always been going on about how unfortunate he was.' I thought sarcastically as I made my way to the door. When I opened it, there was Thor. He wore a black jacket with a white undershirt and jeans. He was smiling at me like never before, and the sight of him made me smile too.

"Ready to go Miko-chan?" He asked me holding out his arm. I looped my arm through his and we made our way out, careful not to pass by the Dorm Mistress or let anyone see us.

I remember a saying from a story I once read. 'I'd rather be with someone I love, who doesn't see me in that light, rather than someone who loves me but I wouldn't care about.' Martyr. Everybody just wants to be loved. Everybody wants to feel loved. And that's what I'm doing right now.

I'd rather be with someone who loves me, than with someone who never even cared.

-chapter end-

Yeah. You can also include Forfeit by 61wisampa as an influence. I've always thought that one day, Mikoto was bound to think this way. But of course, I am a fan through and through. So I made this into a two shot since it be too long if I forced everything into one. Now the only questions left are: Why did Touma just watch? What will Mikoto's decision be? What will Thor do?

Sorry if it's late or what. I had always wanted to write a story in Mikoto's POV. This is the first time I ever did it. It's time to take revenge upon all the times that Touma had neglected her. I really hate it when he does that.

Please review~! I'M BACK~!

JA-NE