A/N: Alexis's birthday has never been stated, so I'm going with Molly Quinn's [October 8, 1993] to establish her age.
For Lou. Happy [very, very belated] birthday, friend! (Only 3 months late. Whoo!)
October 1996
He throws back another shot of scotch. He really should be nursing them. He slams the glass down on his desk, muffled by stacks of paper scattered across. He gets up roughly from his chair. Anger still courses through his veins. He starts to pace the room but when he turns back to the desk his eyes find the telephone.
The reason for all of this.
His whole body surges as he smacks the phone. It flies halfway across the office, a flurry of papers following as the receiver separates from the body. He walks back to his bathroom, trying to shake the pain out of his hand. He runs cold water over it, splashes his face. He has to take a deep breath to center himself and a swig of mouthwash because Alexis doesn't like the smell of alcohol on his breath.
"It's icky, Daddy."
xxxx
He trudges up the stairs and enters her darkened bedroom. Her Little Mermaid nightlight and glow-in-the-dark ceiling stars guide him.
Alexis hides under her covers, bundled up against the wall.
He can hear her muffled sniffling. He rubs soft circles over her shoulder through the comforter.
She flinches.
Sadness clenches his heart. "Alexis. Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He pulls back the comforter to look at her tear-stained face.
She swipes furiously at her cheeks as if it can stop the flow. "I'm scared," she whispers. She refuses to make eye-contact with him.
"Of what?" He is down on his knees, elbows dipping into the mattress.
Timidly, "You were yelling."
"I'm sorry, Pumpkin." He torques his body to rest his head on her pillow so that they're eye level. "Daddy was very angry and he needs to learn how to control that. I'm so sorry I scared you. Can you forgive me?"
She nods solemnly. Her eyes water rapidly and shut, fighting against another thought. She breathes through her nose to maintain control of herself.
"Sweetheart?" Worry creeps into his voice and the rest of his body crawls into the bed.
"And… and –"
"What is it, Pumpkin?"
"And Mommy doesn't love me." She buries her face in the pillow and sobs, unable to hold it in anymore.
He's stricken. "Oh, baby, no. No, Mommy loves you. You're her little girl. You – "
"Then why doesn't she live with us? Where she go?"
"Baby, that has nothing to do with you. Remember when I explained it to you? Mommy leaving isn't your fault. That's between me and your mother. She loves you, Alexis. She loves you with all her heart."
"I gonna be a big girl tomorrow."
He doesn't know where the change in direction came from but he tries to encourage it with his voice. "Yeah, you are. Three whole years old. And we're going to have a party. And everybody – "
"Mommy's not coming." She says it matter-of-fact, as if Castle wasn't the one who held the phone to his ear and heard Meredith cancel plans. Her tears are momentarily dried.
"I – "
"I heard you! Mommy's not coming! She doesn't care!"
He almost jumps back with her sudden toddler fury. She doesn't normally have outbursts; now she's shrieking and hyperventilating.
She shouts out to the glow-in-the-dark stars above her, the heavens of her sheltered little world.
He grabs her and cuddles her into his chest. Her rapid breaths fall on his neck; her tears drip down his shoulder, soak his shirt. He rubs her back to calming breaths, strokes love through her hair. She whispers into his skin, tattoos it on his heart: "Why doesn't she love me?"
He swallows back his own emotion and holds her. He reassures her against her insecurities, whispers of sweet nonsense. He gives her every endearment he has, to make her feel loved. She is loved.
xxxx
The rest of the night is spent mending his broken little girl.
It's just another reminder. You're a single father, Richard Castle.
December 1997
He trudges through the maze of brightly lit jewelry cases of the department store, swinging the shopping bags in hand to avoid tangling in his legs. The long day of shopping with his daughter is draining his energy. How does Mother enjoy this so much? He leans over the glass to look at small gold necklaces for girls. Didn't Alexis want a butterfly necklace? He calls over his shoulder, "Hey, Alexis, come look at these." He steps down the line to look at gilded flowers. No Mary Janes tap over the glossy white marble tiles. "Alexis?" Castle turns around, his coat swishing around him. No little redhead in sight. Fear begins to creep into his conscious. He pushes it down, injects authority to his voice. "Alexis!" A few saleswomen look at him. He is getting frantic.
One of the women behind the counter, "Sir? Sir, have you lost someone?" She hesitates at his manic expression.
"My daughter. My – she's only 4. Oh God, where is she?"
She was just behind him, wasn't she? How could he be so stupid? How could he lose his daughter?
"Would you like me to call security?"
He can't concentrate on what the woman is saying. She's holding a phone to her ear, her fingers curling in the cord.
"What does your daughter look like?"
Nothing is registering. What did she say? Who cares, where is Alexis? He turns around towards the racks of women's clothing, bewildered. He didn't walk through there. Would she have? She's been missing Meredith again…
"Sir, do you remember what your daughter is wearing?" This is another woman. She has a comforting hand on his arm.
"Alexis."
She nods understandingly, "What is Alexis wearing?" A stroller stands behind her, a sleeping baby inside. No wonder she is so calm. She is treating him like the scared child he feels like.
"She has her red pea-coat – the one with the big black buttons that she put butterfly stickers on."
The mother nods encouragingly. From his peripheral he can see the saleswoman waving over a male security guard.
"Her hair is in a braid. I did it this morning. Uh… she might have shaken it out. She didn't like it much. I'm still practicing." Why is he rambling so much? "She has red hair!"
The mother smiles kindly at him. The security guard is talking into his walkie-talkie. He must be relaying the information.
Castle cannot concentrate on any one thought. Everything races and feels unreal. The only truth he can hold is this: he lost his daughter.
xxxx
An hour passes, and nothing. Even with a guard at every exit and another looking through security tapes.
They even brought in the police.
xxxx
He hears her before he sees her. He almost thinks he's making up her soft cadence.
"My daddy is a writer. He writes really big books. Reallllly big – "
"Alexis?!" He turns so fast he almost gives himself whiplash. His little girl. Ten feet away from him and holding the hand of a middle-aged woman.
"Daddy!" She tugs fiercely on the hand of the woman, like a leash, for a few steps before she lets go and runs at him. He drops to his knees with open arms. Relief floods his veins in place of the adrenaline as she races into him. He squeezes her. Tears build up at the back of his eyes, pushing for an out.
"Oh, Alexis! Alexis, baby, don't do that to me again." He buries his face in her soft hair. She shook out her braid.
"Daddy, you're squeezing me too hard." She tries to push out of his grip.
"I'm sorry, Pumpkin. I'm sorry." He lets go of her, still holding her close, and smoothes down her hair. He looks her up and down, still in disbelief. But here she is. His perfect little angel. Other than the long-dried tear tracks, she is unscathed.
"Why are you crying?" She smudges his tears off his cheek with her little hands, tilting her head in curiosity. She looks genuinely confused.
He laughs. "'Cause you scared me, silly."
Her eyes widen. "I'm sorry." She is still stunned. "How?"
"You disappeared, Pumpkin. Where did you go?"
A light cough comes from above. He looks up at the woman, who smiles knowingly at him.
"I found her with the winter coats. She was sleeping in the parkas."
He can feel Alexis's head bobbing up and down below his chin, nodding. Sagely, "I was bored. And tired."
He chuckles. The woman bites back a laugh.
Castle stands up, taking Alexis's hand in his own and extending the other one. "Thank you. Really and truly."
She takes it firmly and briefly. "It's no problem. And my pleasure. You have a beautiful daughter."
"Thank you."
"You're pretty, too!" Alexis cries out, cheekily.
The adults laugh companionably. Castle turns to the well-dressed woman. "I really don't know how to thank you for finding her."
The woman tucks her hair behind her ear. "No thanks are necessary. I have a daughter, too. I remember what it was like at that age. She was always running around, playing superhero." She lets out a sigh. "But I can't imagine what it would have been like to raise her without my husband. You're doing a fine job with Alexis – "
He glances down at his daughter, a little caught off guard at this intimate turn of conversation. Alexis is just twirling in place and toying with her skirt hem, paying no mind to the adults towering above. He looks back in time to see the woman color in embarrassment.
"I'm so sorry! That was probably really inappropriate. Your daughter told me that she didn't have a mommy and, I just - …" She stops talking when she realizes his stricken expression. "I said something wrong again, didn't I?"
"No, no, you're fine." He waves it off. "My daughter's just taking the divorce much harder than I thought, apparently."
She nods understandingly. A little pityingly, too, he thinks. "I'm sorry to hear that."
He manages a smile and a good-natured laugh. "Airing out my dirty laundry and I don't even know your name."
"My friends call me Jo."
"My friends call me Rick."
"It was good to meet you, Rick." She grasps his hand. "I'm sure you'll work it out with her." She tilts her head indicatively towards Alexis. "She's a sweet girl. And children are a lot more resilient then we give them credit for. At least... that's what my daughter has taught me."
He rests his other hand over their joined ones. "It was good to meet you, too. Maybe next time it'll be under better circumstances."
They nod in understanding and part ways.
"Good-bye, Jo!" Alexis cries out with a leap.
"Bye, Alexis." Jo smiles at her.
He watches as the woman strides away with purpose. She looks like she owns the world.
Castle presses Alexis against his leg and looks down at her.
"Do you want ice cream?"
"Daddy, it's cold outside."
"Is that a no?"
"No! I mean, yes. I – no…. I want ice cream!"
"Then let's go!"
She cheers and pulls on him. He picks up his shopping bags and follows her lead.
June 1999
He's going to be late.
Damnit, not again. Alexis's gymnastics class had gone over time and then he had forgotten the shopping list during the grocery trip. His entire schedule was pushed off balance.
Maybe he could tell Gina that he had been stopped by fans. Yeah, that would work. It would remind her he has a fan base, which makes him look desirable as a client and maybe she will pick up his series.
He has written quite a few stand-alone novels for Black Pawn, but a series is a whole other ballgame.
He grabs his briefcase and stuffs his papers inside. He tosses it on the couch before changing his mind about his tie and returning to his bedroom. There's something about his new publisher that flusters him and makes him re-think his wardrobe.
"Richard," his mother drawls from her perch on the bar stool, "you're going to be late, darling."
He surveys his room, his anxious mind racing. All set.
"Daddy, do you want to see what I learned today?" Alexis is still dressed in her leotard. And fit to burst with energy.
"Not now, Pumpkin. Daddy has to go to work." It stings him internally when he realizes those are Meredith's words.
Her face turns neutral. "Okay." Very understanding for a 5 year old. She sits down at her play table and begins to color as if nothing has happened. As if she didn't want to show off for her dad two seconds ago.
But she's not smiling anymore.
No. She is too young to accept rejection this easily. It pains him but he's already late. He tears himself from the moment. He can't let it eat at him.
Martha seems to sense his agitation but doesn't interfere.
She's not smiling anymore. "But you can show me when I get back."
"Really?" Excited again. Smiling again.
"Yeah, of course. I'll be back by… 6:00."
"Will you make me a watch so I know?"
He looks hesitant, pressed for time. "Of course, Pumpkin." He smiles and grabs one of the markers she's playing with.
"No, no, use the pink! I want the pink one."
"Okay, okay," he says, placating, sets down the red and takes the pink from her hand.
She flips over her hand, giving him the top of her wrist.
"Hold still now."
She hums a giggle in excitement.
He draws a large circle and straps. He looks up at the wall clock to orient himself and glances back down at the pale wrist in hand. He draws the arrows carefully. "There you go." He looks at his handiwork, a little proud.
"Thank you, Daddy!" She reaches up for him, smacks a kiss on his cheek when he comes in for a hug.
"Bye, Pumpkin. I'll see you when the wall clock looks like your wristwatch." He kisses the top of her head.
"Bye, Daddy." She's already back to drawing giraffes underwater with orcas.
He grabs his coat and waves to his mother on his way out the door.
Martha winks at him and toasts with her martini.
February 2001
Alexis runs into the office in excitement. "Daddy, let's play tea party!"
Without looking up from his laptop, "Hold on, sweetie, Derrick is hanging off a ledge by his fingertips."
She sighs dramatically. "Fine."
Castle glances up from the screen to see her swishing long hair disappear behind the door. He deflates back into his chair, torn. He sighs and returns to clacking away on the keys.
He has a deadline to meet and he does not want to annoy his publisher.
xxxx
Two hours later Alexis lays in her bed reading a Junie B. Jones book. Her legs kick in the air and her elbows prop her up. Monkey Bunkey and Buttercup and Teddy still sit in their chairs around the tiny table. Plastic tea cups rest on their saucers, Play-Doh pastries on their plates.
Castle knocks on the door softly, pushing it open as he enters. "Hey, Pumpkin."
She looks from her book to him. "Hi." She doesn't seem upset about earlier. That's good. "Did Derrick live?"
Castle chuckles. "Yeah, he pulled through. Well, pulled up… he pulled himself up… Um, listen, I – I have a surprise for you."
Alexis's face lights up. "Really?"
"Yeah. It's downstairs, come on."
She jumps off her bed and rushes to the door.
"Ooh, don't forget Monkey Bunkey."
"Monkey Bunkey!" She runs back and grabs the stuffed doll by the arm before following Castle out the door and down the stairs.
xxxx
She gasps when she hops off the last step. One of Gram's fancy lace table runners rests on the dining table, covered with porcelain teacups and matching saucers, a large teapot, and a 4-tier dessert tray stacked with French pastries.
"A tea party! For me?"
"Of course for you."
She jumps around in circles, happiness bursting forth.
Castle smiles to himself. He did good.
She races across the floor to the bin of costumes in the corner of the living room. She pulls out fairy wings and crowns, tugging against the clinging tulle of tutus and ticklish feathers of boas.
He follows her to clean up the costume jewelry pouring across the floor.
"Here, you can be the Blue Fairy." She hands him a bigger set of blue wings and a sparkly Cinderella wand. "I'm going to be Tinker Bell!" She grabs the green glittery wings and a smooth, crooked stick with "Hermione" written on it with sharpie. "Don't forget your crown, Daddy." She passes him a plastic pink-feathered Birthday Girl tiara.
He plucks off the tangled costume pearls and slides them around his neck.
She dons a pair of black cat ears as a final touch. She climbs into a tutu and runs back to the waiting tea party, waving her stick wand in the air.
They take their seats across from each other. Alexis bounces in her seat with excitement and anticipation.
"Ready?"
"Ready!"
"A very merry unbirthday to us!" He lifts his tea cup in toast.
"To us!" With a shout, Alexis raises her own high in the air.
They clink their cups in cheers. The tea sloshes dangerously to the edge before they both sip deeply from the porcelain. With exaggerated sounds of refreshment, they replace their teacups on their respective saucers. Wide eyes and smothered smiles.
"Clean cup?"
Alexis nods exuberantly. "Clean cup! Everybody move down a chair!" She crawls over to the next chair and pushes Monkey Bunkey over as well.
"Move down! Move down!"
They resettle and repeat their antics. Drinking tea and nibbling pastries. The clinking cups and tinkling utensils play background to the orange gilded warm afternoon.
xxxx
After each porcelain has been kissed twice and drained to the dregs and crumbs decorate the table, the two lean back in their chairs, deeply satisfied. Monkey Bunkey flops over, completely exhausted and unable to hold his own head up.
"That was fun, Daddy."
"Most unbirthday parties have that in common." He smiles across the table at her.
"Are we going to have another one for dinner?" Her puppy-dog eyes are in full effect. Preemptive strike. Clever girl.
He shakes his head at the thought. "Oh, no, we're going to have a dinner fit for Lost Boys. That alright with you, Tink?"
Her eyes light up with recognition of the 'password', as it was. "Yes!"
"Then, go read some more. We'll have dinner when I find the treehouse. I misplaced it somewhere." He looks all around himself. "I must have forgotten in my old age." He starts to hobble away.
"Peter Pan doesn't grow old, silly!" She falls over onto the next chair, giggling.
Castle stands straight and tall, chest puffed out and fists at his hips. "That's right! Now go on upstairs."
After she disappears, he uses the opportunity of solitude to clean up and edit the last chapter he wrote before preparing 'dinner'.
xxxx
They fall asleep in the blankets-and-pillows treehouse. The emptied popcorn bags and juice boxes scatter the rug. A stack of Disney cartoon VHSs that need to be rewound stands sentinel by the entrance of the treehouse. The projector screen bathes them in the blue glow of the end of the last tape.
Each flies off in their own Neverland.
March 2003
It's a gorgeous day in the beautiful city he calls home. Castle is seated at an outdoor café with Gina when his phone starts ringing. Which is upsetting because the flirting going on feels like it's about to go somewhere, and who doesn't want some afternoon delight at her place?
He picks up, frustrated. Gina is lookin' a little hot 'n' bothered.
"Richard, darling?"
"What do you need, Mother? I'm kind of busy now."
"It's about Alexis."
"What, is the school giving you a hard time picking her up?"
"No. She's not here."
"What?! What do you mean –"
"I think that ex-wife of yours is in town. The secretary at the desk said she pulled Alexis out early."
"Meredith? What the hell is she doing?"
"I wouldn't know. I'm sorry to ruin your date with Gina –"
"It's a business lunch." He waves off the affronted look Gina wears.
"Don't lie, dear. Anyways, do you want me to find the talentless tramp myself or are you –"
"I'll handle it, Mother." He rolls his eyes. As annoying as Meredith may be, she's still the mother of his child. And he loved her once.
"Good. It's a shame we have to miss our Girls Day. Maybe next week? I'd love to see my granddaughter soon."
"Maybe. I gotta go. Alexis is probably traipsing around 5th Avenue with her mother now."
"Good bye, darling."
He ends the call and returns to his date. "I am so sorry. It's just –"
"Rick, it's no big deal. It's your daughter. I understand." She picks up her drink and looks into it. "Besides, this is just a business lunch."
His face falls.
She laughs. "Kidding! I'm just kidding." She sips her drink, glancing at him from underneath her eyelashes.
He smirks in return. God, she's gorgeous. Pointing indicatively at his phone, "I need to call my ex-wife. It shouldn't be too long." Castle rises at her nod and walks to the edge of the bistro property for a modicum of privacy.
xxxx
The phone rings for a long while. He is about to hang up and try again when he hears Meredith's voice. Sudden, no 'hello's. And very sarcastic.
"You know, it's sooo weird. Page Six just won't stop talking about you and that – that woman – "
"Gina. You know her; you've met her." He rolls his eyes, rubs the back of his neck.
"– but I ask my daughter and she doesn't know who or what I'm talking about."
"Meredith, you know I don't involve Alexis in my public life."
"Well, honey, one day your 'public life' is going to become your 'private life'." She stage-whispers, "At least that's what I've read last week: that you're going to propose. You must be so excited!"
"Meredith, stop."
"What, Ricky? I'm just looking out for my daughter – "
He deadpans, "By kidnapping her?"
She scoffs in disbelief. "I didn't kidnap her! I took her out for a Girls Day! You know how much she loves those."
"She was supposed to have Girls Day with my mother, Meredith."
"Oh, Martha can see her any time. I don't come to town that often!"
He growls. This maddening woman.
"Besides, Alexis is having a wonderful time," her voice softens, "aren't you, sweetie?"
"Mommy, can I go on the carousel?"
"Of course you can."
He can just picture Meredith's effusive smile. "Carousel? Are you at Central Park or Bryant?"
"Neither. We're at Le Carrousel de la Tour Eiffel." Breezily, as if there is not an ocean between them.
"IN FRANCE?"
"Yes, in France! Where else would it be?"
"WHY would you be in France?"
"It's beautiful here! And I wanted to take my daughter out to a nice lunch.
"MEREDITH!"
Innocently, "What?"
"If you really, truly wanted to spend time with our daughter, all you had to do is ask. I can't help but think this is some passive aggressive stunt."
"Crossing an ocean for lunch is hardly passive, Kitten."
"Is this because of Gina?"
The gloves are off. "You didn't tell me about her."
"You didn't tell me about your director." His emotions are getting the better of him. This can't end well.
"That's low!"
"Not as low as you were!" Oh, shit.
There's a sudden intake of breath on the other end. It's a reset button for him, bringing him out of his repressed emotion and back in front of a bistro. People have started to glance at him funny. He tries to calm down, shuffling closer to the edge as if that will help. "Where's Alexis? Is she hearing this? Because I swear –"
"No! She's on the carousel. What kind of mother do you think I am?"
"Well you just kidnapped our daughter so my opinion of you is failing. Speaking of which, how did you manage to smuggle her out of the country?"
"It's funny that you should ask. Eduardo let me right up. Gave me a spare key and everything. Oh, and thanks for not changing the code on the safe. It made getting Alexis's passport that much easier."
He rolls his eyes in frustration. Why didn't he think to change the locks when Meredith left? (Right, because his daughter asked where Mommy was going with luggage as she ate her chocolate chip pancakes at the table.)
"When do you plan on coming back? Alexis still has school tomorrow."
"Don't worry. I'll have her back safe and sound."
"That wasn't the question, Meredith…"
"Don't worry so much, Richard."
She ends the call before he can respond.
He remembers when he loved her for her spontaneity. He shakes his head at the thought.
xxxx
Castle trudges back to table, almost sheepishly. "Sorry about that."
"It's okay." Gina looks slightly uncomfortable, understandably so.
It's most definitely not okay.
xxxx
Night has fallen and the city doesn't seem quite as spectacular as it was in the afternoon. Castle stands by the window in his office, glass of scotch in hand. He watches the lights of the neighborhood and the rest of the city down the street.
He's waiting for the return plane to land.
Alexis called him earlier to say good night. At 9-years-old, the little girl didn't know time zones and saw one of the clocks in the terminal saying her bedtime was in 15 minutes. Meredith had no issue with it because a sleeping child on a trans-Atlantic flight is preferable to an awake one. Alexis hung up when it was time to board.
Castle paces back to his desk. His mind is full of thoughts of Meredith and her motives. It's a show of power, no doubt. A reminder that, even after so many years apart, she can still bring him to his knees.
He eases into his chair. Meredith wasn't wrong though. Eventually his public life will have to come home with him.
He is still unsure of what he has with Gina. They haven't discussed anything. They just … are. They flirt and have the occasional lunch. Sometimes they attend public social events together. But it can be passed off as very open friends. Sometimes. Okay, no, not really. He wants her. He wants her bad.
He leans back in his chair and drags a hand down his face. He shouldn't be thinking about her like this. She's his publisher, for God's sakes! They work together!
And more importantly, his daughter isn't home and he should be thinking of his daughter.
xxxx
Castle walks quietly into Alexis's darkened room. He wanted to check in on her again after showing Meredith out of the house, and essentially out of the city.
"Daddy?" Quietly seeking.
"Yeah, Pumpkin?" He strides to her bedside.
She turns over onto her back, flopping the comforter and sheets away from her face. "Are you mad at me?"
"No. No, of course not, Alexis. Why would I be mad at you?" He kneels down and rests a hand on her arm, needing a connection.
"Because I went with Mommy… when Girls Day was supposed to be with Grams."
"It's not your fault, Pumpkin. Your mother was the one that took you out of the country. She can be pretty persuasive."
"But you said Grams was really, really excited to spend the day with me."
He looks at her curiously. "Are you looking for a punishment?"
She looks away from him. "I feel like I did something wrong."
"You didn't."
"I should have told her no…"
"Maybe, but it doesn't matter anymore, Pumpkin. Gram knows you miss your mom and that you haven't seen her in a while; she wouldn't hold that against you."
"But Gram doesn't like Mommy."
"But she loves you." He leans in and whispers conspiratorially, "Truth be told, your Grams is just like your mom. She just doesn't want to admit it."
The little girl giggles at the thought.
"No one is mad at you, Alexis. And I'm glad you had a fun time with your mother." He climbs back up to his feet. Pausing to kiss her good night on the forehead, he proceeds to leave.
"Good night."
"Good night." He starts to close the door after him, but stops himself. He peers back in through the doorway. "Hey, Alexis."
"Yeah, Daddy?"
"What do you think about Gina?" He grits his teeth, waiting for the backlash.
She's puzzled. "Your publisher?"
"Yeah. Her."
"Um… she's nice. She got me a soda from the vending machine when you took me to your meetings. Why?"
"No reason. Good night." He hurries out.
September 2003
Apparently 9 is entirely too old to still be using training wheels.
Or at least that's what Alexis has been telling Castle since last week when she told him to teach her how to ride a real bike. Like the big kids.
He wants to know what big kids she's even hanging out with. She should stay his little girl. "Well, if all the big kids jumped off a cliff, would you jump too?"
She squints her eyes at him as if questioning his intelligence. "Why would they jump off a cliff? That's just dumb."
Fair point.
xxxx
They stand in Central Park along one of the larger sidewalks. Castle stands with his hands on his hips, eyeing the area, making sure it will be a safe learning place. He glances down and notices Alexis is mimicking his posture. He can't help but smile.
"Okay, Alexis, are you ready?"
"Ready!"
He pulls the bicycle towards them, indicating for her to get on. "Ride around for a little bit to get used to it."
She looks down at the bicycle with its training wheels mockingly still attached. She looks back at him, taken aback. "I don't want the training wheels. That's why we're here. Take them off." She points at the wrench in his hand, "Take off the wheels."
"Sweetie, you can't just dive into it. You have to ease your way in. Like … oh! Like, when you go into a really cold pool, you walk in slowly."
"You always told me to jump straight into the deep end."
"Huh… okay, that was a bad analogy. But the point remains, you have to take it slow." He taps the seat. "Now climb on."
With a weary sigh Alexis does as she's told.
It's a little lackluster. She looks incredibly bored to be riding her bike in a beautiful park on a gorgeous fall day. It makes Castle wonder why she wants results so soon. Why does his little girl rush through life? She's only 9.
She pulls up beside him. "Can we take off the wheels now?" She can't hide her exasperation.
"Just one." He bends down and starts to unscrew one of the training wheels.
She peers down at him from his perch genuinely confused. "Why just one?"
"Patience, young grasshopper." He pulls off the wheel with a puff and looks back up at her from his squatted position. "You need to work on your balance. That's what riding a bike is all about."
"Okay…"
He gets back to his feet, maintaining a grip on the underside of her bike seat. "Are you ready to try with one wheel?"
"I'm ready for no wheels."
He laughs. "Nice try. Start with this first. Go, pedal." He walks alongside her as she starts to pump her legs against the pedals, starting her forward motion.
"Let go, Daddy."
"Careful." He takes his hand away and watches her wobble her way slowly down the sidewalk.
He can hear her sounds of struggle.
He calls after her. "If you pedal faster, momentum will help you stay steady. Physics!"
She tilts too far, and then over-corrects. The leftover training wheel catches her. Eyes wide and breath keeping pace with her racing heart, she rests her weight on the unwanted wheel and rides in a large circle.
He grits his teeth, struggling against his personal need to run to her rescue, even though Alexis is in no real danger. He needs to let her do this for herself. Let her find her independence.
Castle sits down on a bench. Maybe he can relax.
No, he can't. He gets back up. His nerves are making him antsy.
xxxx
Fifteen minutes later and Castle is still watching Alexis pedal around in giant circles. Every once in a while she tries to shift her weight to not lean on the training wheel. Every time she bounces back to the hateful wheel.
She's stuck in a rut and she's quickly becoming frustrated.
"Hey, Pumpkin. Do you need help?"
"NOOoo. I can do it. I almost have it." Her little baby growls are highly amusing.
He jogs over to catch up. She groans at how easily he overtakes her. She stops.
"Don't give up, Alexis. Like the big kids, remember? You can do this."
She purses her lips at him, doubtful. "Why does it look so easy when other people do it?"
"Because the other people already learned. Everyone has to start somewhere. And this," he spreads his arms, "this is your somewhere. Soon, you'll be riding like the best of them."
She gives him a small smile. "Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. Now let your old man help you achieve greatness."
She laughs. "You're not old, Daddy!"
"Thank you for that. My ego needs it." He grabs her by the shoulders and rights her so no weight is on the training wheel. "Now pedal."
She leans forward and starts pedaling.
Castle keeps a guiding hand between her shoulder blades and jogs alongside her.
Alexis's smile grows as she pedals faster and in a straight line. Soon Castle can't keep up with her.
He lets go.
She is laughing as the wind picks up her hair from her shoulders. Fallen leaves fly in her wake. She makes a wide turn, avoiding the crutch of the training wheel, and returns to her father.
"Did you see that? I did it!"
"Yeah, you did! Are you ready to take off the other wheel?"
She looks hesitant for but a brief second before excitedly nodding her head. "Yes. Yes! I'm ready!"
xxxx
The wind blows through the trees, rattling leaves from the branches. The sun is beginning its descent. A light chill permeates his jacket. But Castle has a warm glow of pride inside of him.
He stands in the middle of the sidewalk as his daughter rides away from him again. Like the big kid she is.
No training wheels, all hard-earned skill.
He calls out for her to come back. They are done for the day.
He tucks his wrench into his pocket and sweeps the training wheels off the ground. He pats the opposite pocket, can feel the light presence of the little gold medal he bought for her when she was at school. Learning to ride a bike is a rite of passage; it should be celebrated. He will probably give it to her before dinner.
Alexis comes speeding at him, laughing with the exhilarating feeling of success.
It's contagious, really. He is so proud of his little girl. The way she overcame her frustrations and tackled the challenge.
And he is reminded. She's your single greatest accomplishment, Richard Castle.
A/N: The title is a pun of the popular Charlie Brown play.
A/N2: The mall story, the Paris story, and the bike story are based off of brief comments made in 3x08 Murder Most Fowl, 1x06 Always Buy Retail, and 5x03 Secret's Safe With Me, respectively. The only intentional discrepancy is in the mall story. Castle said he was trying on a charcoal fedora. I said no.
Thoughts, crises, concerns?