AN: I have never written a fanfic before and decided to give it a try since I had so many ideas. Your reviews and feedback would be much appreciated. With that being said, Here's my tiny first attempt...

It was an unusually slow day at the BAU and the three musketeers were extremely bored; which is probably how they ended up on their current topic.

"What's the smallest you've ever had?" questioned JJ to the group. Yes they were really comparing the sizes of their past conquest. It really was a slow day.

"Randy Dupree, 5 in" blushed Prentiss. Everybody laughed. "What…" sighed Emily "I was sixteen, it was my first time. It wasn't that bad"

"Emily, even Kevin is bigger than that" chuckled Garcia. JJ just laughed harder.

"Ironically he was the star player on the football team and his nickname was Big Ron…"

Garcia and JJ almost fell out their chairs laughing.

"Well you know what they say about guys with big feet…so what was his shoe size?" asked JJ while trying to contain her laughter.

"Don't believe that at all." scoffed Emily. "He wore a size 11…" she giggled as she told them. They all started busting out laughing again.

"I actually heard it's all about the size of the hands…" Garcia was being a bit more serious now, trying to build up drama for her punch line. "I mean look at Derek! He has to be packing!" she said busting out laughing again.

"I have to be packing what, Baby Girl?" asked Derek as he walked in.

All three girls erupted in laughter while Derek looked at them confused.

"What are y'all talking about?" He was highly annoyed that he wasn't in on the joke.

"Nothing Hot Stuff…but what size shoe do you wear?" Garcia asked with a teasing smile and eyebrow raise similar to his signature one.

Emily and JJ looked at the pair quizzically, intrigued by where this was going.

"A 14" Derek smirked proudly. "Why you asking, Lynch not measuring up? He quipped.

Going along with it, Penelope responded, "Lynch hasn't measured up for six months, plus a 14 means nothing, Randy wore a 12." She was having fun; she loved their banter. She beamed even more when she heard Emily and JJ chuckle.

"You and Lynch broke up six months ago, why didn't you tell me?" Derek was a little offended. No one deserved his goddess, especially Lynch but he was still her "best friend" and he wanted to know things like her breaking up with her boyfriend of four years.

"It wasn't that big a deal. The relationship was basically over way before we were officially over. Anyways, don't change the subject just because you don't measure up." Penelope loved teasing Derek, he was always so macho.

Assuming it really wasn't a big deal and getting back into their little banter, Derek played mock hurt and responded, "Baby, I can't believe you would doubt me." Taking it a step further he leaned close to her and whispered in a low growl, "Come over tonight and I'll prove it to you" He saw her blush his favorite shade of red and flashed his 1000 watt smile innocently.

Blushing even more, she was determined to not let Derek know how turned on she was. So in her sexiest voice she said "I would handsome, but I don't think you could handle me. Your size 2 bimbos haven't exactly prepared you for a real woman." She smirked naughtily at him then walked out to return to her office. Knowing Derek's eyes would follow as she left, she made sure to give him something to look at by sashaying sexily.

Wow did his girl have it going on, he thought. Ever the player he yelled "See you at eight, sweet thing." He smiled and walked out satisfied and excited.

Emily and JJ just looked at each other thinking the same thing before cracking up again… "I can't wait till Monday."

AN2: What did you think? Should I continue to the second chapter? I mean, I'm going to anyways but encouragement is always great :)