And it's the last chapter already. It was never meant to be a long story, really. For the people who didn't realise what was going on by themselves yet, this chapter should shed some new light on the entire story.

Her face was aflame like her hair, and she curled in on herself. Stan felt a throb in his stomach, equal parts sorry for asking when she looked so unhappy about it, and happy he dared to because this was his last chance with her.

"What's with you guys and your obsession to kiss me?" He could hear her mumble.

"W-what?" His eyes widened. "You mean others have already tried too? You're only just here!"

"Kenny and Cartman both." She gave him a weak glare. "Care to explain why you are so desperate to add to the list?"

He gaped at her. Kenny... The fucking pervert already jumped her! And Cartman! He was going to kill the fatass!

"Stan?"

Her sharp voice startled him, and he looked in her inquiring green eyes. Strange though, how she managed to sound angry and meek at the same time, while her eyes only looked curious and slightly scared.

"Kenny is just a pervert like that." He told her truthfully. "I doubt he had any different intentions than just scoring you on his list. I'm pretty sure Cartman is substituting you for Kyle. The fucking fatass will never admit to being gay, let alone for the one who he's been bullying for all his life. You resemble Kyle so much you're a perfect replacement. So don't get your hopes up about him either. And I... I just like you a lot." He started fidgeting at the last part. That really didn't come out well, did it? After what he said about Cartman...

Even so, she was gaping like a fish. "C-c-c-cartman!? Is gay for m-m-m-Kyle!?"

"It's too obvious, everyone knows." He sighed in relief, feeling spared.

"Everyone? Oh fuck!"

"That's the first time I hear you curse," he chuckled, a little uncomfortably.

"And how about you then?" She jerked upright, suddenly in his face. He stumbled a step back, surprised. "You 'just like me a lot'? Aren't you supposed to be best friends with Kyle? If I fucking resemble him so much, how can you like me in any other way than a friend? Why the fuck are you asking to kiss me?"

"It's easier with a girl, ok?" He held himself defensively. "Ok, so maybe my intentions aren't completely top-notch either, but why would it bother you? You're about to leave anyway, all I was asking was a kiss. You don't have to if you don't want to."

"How is it easier with a girl?" She approached him, looking more and more angry. Looking more and more like a fuming Kyle.

"I don't have to assume the unlikely case of you being gay," he defended. "Seriously, if I were to make a move on Kyle, I doubt he'd be too pleased. I can't fuck up our friendship for that. You, on the other hand, are a girl, so way more likely to like guys than Kyle is."

"Why don't you just fucking ask him?"

Stan was surprised when his back bumped into the wall, having backed up that much from her angry walk towards him. But not as surprised as he was by something else. "Wait, you're angry over me not going to Kyle, not about me using you as a substitute?"

"Stan. You're a moron."

He gaped at her disappointed face. How...?

She turned away from him, shoulders dropping and ready to leave. But he wasn't done with her yet. He grabbed her arms and flipped her around, pressing her against the wall instead. Her eyes flickered up at him in surprise. Big, green and sharp. Slightly wet. And with just that familiar hint of golden he had admired so often.

Ah yes, a moron he was.

"You brought this upon yourself now," he said honestly before crashing his lips on the soft ones in front of him.

How come he never saw? How come he could study two faces so closely, and not think anything of the list of similarities? How come he couldn't smell past the waft of sweet perfume?

Of course now he could perfectly taste beyond the perfume. And he could feel it. He could feel him writhing underneath his hands and desperately kissing back.

He chuckled quietly. So it seemed he had inherited all of his father's retarded genes then, if he couldn't even recognise his super best friend when he stood before him.

"S-Stan," Kyle weakly protested, managing to bring a little space between them.

"I'm sorry," he sighed, wrapping his arms around the red head's neck.

"I, uhm..." Kyle stuttered, probably completely confused with Stan's behaviour. "What...?"

"Sorry for doing that without permission," Stan said again, slowly. "But considering how angry you got, you should have seen it coming Kyle."

The body in his arms froze, then started shaking. "You... So you recognised me now?"

"I'm sorry for not recognising you before." He hugged the boy a little closer.

"You were not supposed to recognise me," he huffed. "I was relying on your father's genes here. I would never have wanted you to see me walking around in a skirt."

Stan chuckled. "Too late. So gay, Kyle."

"You're one to talk!" Kyle struggled against his grip. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I told you exactly what I was thinking right before I realised it was you," Stan scolded slightly, "you tricked me into spilling my heart out, the least you can do is answer my feelings or have the decency to ignore them - as you weren't supposed to find out about them to begin with."

"Of course I answer them," he grumbled softly, "but why didn't you just tell me sooner?"

Stan's eyes shot open in surprise. He grabbed the smaller boy's shoulders and thrust him away from him to arm length, so he could look the other in the eye.

"You what?"

"If I didn't, don't you think I would've reacted a whole lot more shocked?"

Kyle just got out an undignified squeak before he was crashed back into the wall, Stan pressing their lips together again like a starving man would attack his food. Kyle whimpered slightly, but all it did was rile him up even more. He had Kyle. Kyle was his!

Kyle submitted to the kiss in seconds, relaxing in Stan's arms and kissing him back. Their fervent movements slowed down to deep and languid, not losing an inch in passion on the way.

Of course Stan was still going to kill both Kenny and Cartman for beating him to kissing Kyle, but for now, he could just enjoy the feel of Kyle's soft lips and bony body pressed up against him.

When Kyle broke away from him to gasp in a breath, Stan tightened his grip. With barely any effort he lifted the red head from the floor, walking them over to the couch. He dropped his squirming friend on the couch only to immediately crawl over him.

"W-what about your parents?" Kyle asked nervously.

"Dinner at the Stotch's," Stan grinned, moving down to kiss Kyle again. Kyle kissed back enthusiastically, apparently reassured by that. His hands moved up to clench around Stan's shoulders, keeping him down. Stan was more than happy to oblige in that.

They only moved apart when lack of air became a serious issue, and Stan quickly descended to the other's neck. Brushing aside long straight hair - he'd have to ask Kyle how he did that later - he kissed and nipped the white skin. Kyle gasped lightly, tilting his head to grant Stan better access. He felt tempted to create a huge hickey, just to claim his territory, but he was afraid Kyle would not approve. And no matter how submissive Kyle was acting this very moment, he knew better than anyone that is wasn't going to last.

So instead, he just nibbled his way down the soft and lightly freckled skin, down to where he could nip the red head's collar bone. His hands found the boy's stomach, sliding up skin delicately. He could feel Kyle tense slightly, but only realised why when he reached his chest. He grinned against his neck, tracing the outline of the bra against Kyle's skin.

"Don't make fun of me," Kyle told him breathlessly, reading Stan perfectly without even seeing his face.

"You played your role well though," Stan told him softly, reaching around to unclip the bra. Kyle shuddered, and Stan slipped his hands back to fondle the other's nipples.

"I told you," he gasped, "don't make fun of me!"

"I'm not," Stan chuckled, flicking a nipple between his fingers to draw out another gasp from the boy beneath him. Kyle bucked against him, and he let out an involuntary moan. The red head whimpered, but repeated his movement.

Kyle was just as hard as Stan was. Stan grinded down on Kyle's crotch, tempted by his movements. He would've let Kyle off easily this time, but if he started doing that there was no way he could stop, was there?

Kyle's fingers fumbled on his belt, trying to open his pants all the while gasping and whimpering from Stan's fingers on his chest and mouth on his neck. Stan quickly moved up to catch the Jew's lips again, flicking one hand down to help Kyle open his pants. He slipped his hand underneath Kyle's skirt quickly, gripping the other's length. Kyle moaned and circled his arms around Stan's neck, pulling him closer into the kiss.

The red head grinded into his hand, his hips making desperate movements to increase friction. Stan was only getting started though. He smirked in the kiss, moving his hand torturously slow over the Jew's arousal. It felt hot in his hand, so hard yet such soft skin. He wanted to devour it.

In fact, what was stopping him?

He pulled free from Kyle's grasp, causing another whimper - this one sounding actually disappointed - and knelt next to the couch. As far as Kyle hadn't been flushed yet, his blush now certainly exploded.

"Stan," he protested weakly, before Stan leant forward and flipped the skirt up. It took him all his willpower to ignore the cuteness of the panties his one hand was already stashed in, and bent forward, mouthing over the fabric. Kyle moaned and arched in response, encouraging Stan to continue.

He quickly slid down the panties to halfway Kyle's thighs, licking experimentally at the soft skin of the other's length. It got his more moans, more writhing, and a taste for more in general. He licked up the sides, gently fondling the base and Kyle's balls.

It didn't take much in the end though. As soon as he closed his lips over the tip, Kyle started trembling heavily, moaning and whimpering without apparent pause for breath. He flicked his tongue around the head and moved his lips lower down, and that was all it took. Kyle cried out in warning just a little too late, and while the body beneath him rocked in violent shudders Stan felt his mouth flooded with thick salty fluid.

He pulled back, feeling awfully good about himself. Licking the spill of his lips, he looked at Kyle, panting and flushed, sprawled on his couch. The red head was a complete mess. And Stan was the one who made him like this.

...

He had rung the bell, and he knew Stan was home, but he hadn't heard any response either way. Pressing his ear to the door only resulted in some muffled sounds, which could have been talking.

A very animated conversation then, if they didn't hear the bell.

He decided to go around the house and peek in through one of the windows. 'Autumn' hadn't been at her own place, nor did she seem to be at Cartman's - although he sure as hell didn't try ringing that bell. She was supposed to be there earlier today, so if she wasn't now Cartman wasn't going to be in a good mood.

That left Stan's house.

He snuck up to one of the windows and peeked in, being rewarded by a most tantalizing view. Stan was pressing down on the red head on the couch, nibbling along a creamy neck. Kenny licked his lips, already jealous. He wanted to be there on that couch.

He kept watching until Stan had made his way down to the red head's crotch, giving the supposed girl a quick - and by the looks of it gratifying - blow job. He had to feel a little proud of his two friends. He taught them well.

Still, with Kyle being spent and Stan seemingly still enjoying the view, he felt this was the correct moment to ring the bell, give his congratulations, and ask if he could join in. After all, he deserved a little bit of revenge after being tricked by Kyle, hadn't he?

He walked back to the front door with a huge grin on his face.

Whatever shit Cartman had done to get a secret agent sent after him, it might have finally been a good thing to his most beloved hated Jew.