A/N: Sorry for any OOCness or lack of anything.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Deeks stood in Ops frozen, his hands were gripping the table so hard his knuckles were turning white. He ignored the curious, confused and worried stares from the team. He felt Kensi's hand on his arm but made no reaction to it, made no reaction to the curious stares of Callen and Sam. His eyes stayed right on the person who was leading the presentation of their newest case, Hetty.

He knew he needed to respond to Hetty's question, he swallowed and tried to return his breathing to normal.

"I repeat my question Mr. Deeks, when was the last time you heard from your mother?"

Deeks tried to swallow again, "I haven't heard from her since I was 15."

He knew his voice wasn't as strong as he would have liked which made the team more curious as to where this was going, and why he was acting the way he was.

He wished whatever this was, wasn't happening. It had started off as a normal day. Deeks went for his morning surf then went back to his apartment where Kensi came to pick him up, they argued and flirted on the way to work listening to Kensi's horrible Techno music, then jumped into the bickering between Callen and Sam just like every other day. But unlike a normal day, Eric didn't whistle for them to come upstairs for a new case. Eric came down the stairs with Nell at his side to announce they had a case, and Hetty was upstairs waiting. If that wasn't the first clue that something was wrong, it was the fact they both had worried expressions on their faces.

Confused, they all headed upstairs where Hetty stood in front of the screen with her hands behind her back. Except even Hetty looked worried, and if Hetty was worried, they should be too.

It was then that Hetty led up to her question, but first telling Deeks she was sorry.

"Mr. Deeks, I sent everyone else out of Ops so only those of us in this room will know of this. A recording was sent to NCIS to be delivered to you, but because we have to be cautious, the recording was listened to by Mr. Beale and Ms. Jones who then notified me and using voice software, found who was the person in the recording."

"My mother."

"Correct Mr. Deeks. Because of what the recording contains, this has now turned into a case. Would you like to be here when I play the recording?" Hetty walked over to the table where the recording sat, everyone gathered around but kept throwing glances at Deeks.

"Obviously I have to don't I? It involves me." Deeks tried not to sound nervous, he hoped the team would never find out about his mother. They knew of the abuse he dealt with from his dad, knew he shot him when he was 11 but not how things were after. But no matter how much he tried to keep it hidden, it was no use now.

"Play it Mr. Beale."

Eric glanced at Deeks, and slowly reached over to press play.

"Martin, it's been a long time hasn't it? Have you missed me? Silly question of course you missed me, we had so much fun together. You shouldn't have left me Martin, I told you that I would find you if you ever ran away from me. My friends have missed you too, I promised them that I would find you and make up for all those years they missed out on their fun. I know you changed your last name to Deeks, I know you work for LAPD and NCIS. I've been watching you Martin. I can't wait for the fun to begin."

Silence filled the room as the recording ended. Every pair of eyes turn to stare at Deeks who was shaking, it seemed the only thing holding him up was the table and Kensi.

"I'm going to have to tell them aren't I?" His voice shook, and was filled with fear and sadness.

"I'm sorry Mr. Deeks."

Deeks stared straight at the screen as he talked, he didn't want to see the looks of pity or disgust on their faces. He especially didn't want to see the look on Kensi's face when she realized how ruined and disgusting he was.

"A-After I shot my dad, it was no discussion that I would stay with my mom as soon as she was released from the hospital. What no one expected, was for my mom to get involved with drugs." Deeks took a deep breath and continued,

"It wasn't long before she just wasn't my mom anymore, she never hit me or beat me like my dad did, but for me her abuse was worse."

"Worse?" Deeks didn't know who said it, but he nodded his head anyway.

"We started having trouble with the bills, and getting things we needed for the house like food with her spending money on drugs all the time...so she made my life hell," His voice cracked, and he could feel tears gathering in his eyes, the only person he ever told of this was Ray. "She started...selling me to her druggie friends."

Tears were now slowly running down his cheeks, and before Deeks could control it, a sob broke through his chest. Kensi was trying hard not to cry herself, but because her partner and best friend looked so broken. Nell was already crying, with Eric trying to comfort her without touching her too much. Then there was Callen and Sam who looked angry, there was no doubt that they wanted to do more than just throw some punches.

Deeks somehow managed to talk, he knew he had to continue.

"S-She told them they could do whatever they wanted. She was my mother and she just sat there and watched!" Deeks started sobbing more as he fell to the floor, Kensi was soon right next to him on the floor, with her arms wrapped around him. "I-I always said no, screamed it and told them to stop but it never worked. Didn't matter if it was a man or a woman, of course the men were always the worse. No matter what they did, my mom enjoyed it like it was some sick game! She even went as far as joining in on it like I wasn't even her son!"

Deeks suddenly stood up so fast, Kensi almost fell over.

"Now you all know, I'm disgusting and worthless." Deeks said, almost in a whimper.

And just like that, Deeks ran out of Ops as fast as he could.

"Hold on Ms. Blye."

"Hetty he needs me!" Kensi stopped at the doors and turned to face Hetty.

"What he needs, is for his mother to be caught before she really finds Mr. Deeks. It would be best if you found her so called 'friends' too. Let me find Mr. Deeks for now."

Hetty then walked out of Ops, not planning on sticking around to listen to Kensi's argument on finding out where her partner went.

A/N: Let me know if you want me to continue this!