Like a Sparrow in a Nest

Summary: (Kamen Rider OOO) It was kind of embarrassing for his image, but when Ankh saw abandoned baby birds that had fallen from their nest he can't help but feel bad for them. So he does the only thing he can: he takes them home and hides them from Eiji.

Author's Note: This is my headcanon. I'd say sorry BUT I'M NOT. Baby birds are practically like Ankh's little siblings or cousins anyway, right?

Disclaimer: If I owned OOO this totally would have had a five minute segment in one of the episodes. Unfortunately, I don't.

Ankh was acting strange—at least, stranger than he normally did. It was the middle of the day and the Cous Coussier was having a Mardi Gras theme, complete with masks that had bright green, yellow, and purple feathers and handing out bead necklaces to all their customers. Anyway, the blonde had stormed in, and for lack of a better word he looked ruffled.

"Err, Ankh?" Eiji asked, eyebrows furrowing in worry. He pulled out of the mask and spit out a feather that had gotten in his mouth. "Is everything okay? Is it a Yummy?"

"Humans are all idiots," He snarled and without further explanation brushed past him, his walk looking somewhat awkward due to the fact that he seemed to be clutching something inside of his jacket. The door to the attic slammed behind him, not that the sound was able to cut through the buzz of the busy cafe. The brunette shook his head in confusion, wondering what had agitated him so much while he was out. Glancing at the clock, he went back into the kitchen, deciding it was close enough to when the lunch rush would die down that he'd be able to take a break without being missed.

Eiji grabbed an ice pop as a gift of good gesture and quietly tiptoed to the room he and the Greeed shared. Something stopped him short at the door and he pressed his ear against the key-hole, straining his ear.

Tweet! Tweet!

He blinked in bewilderment. No way…he had to have imagined that. Eiji swung open the door and there was a brief flurry of movement from the corner of his eye before Ankh craned his head around.

"What?" The blonde asked, his tone clipped.

"What are you hiding?" Eiji asked curiously, trying to peer over the Greeed's (borrowed) body. Ankh narrowed his eyes and shifted, which in itself wasn't inconspicuous if not for the way he was awkwardly sitting as though blocking something from view.

"Huh? Nothing." The Greeed's hand flew out and snatched the ice pop from Eiji's hand, giving a satisfied grin before tearing off the wrapper and taking a large bite. "Are you here just to annoy me?"

The Kamen Rider gaped, trying to process just how much of an idiot Ankh thought he was. "Never mind," He breathed, closing his eyes and shaking his head in exasperation. "I'll just…go back to work, I guess."

"Hmph." The Greeed turned around and pulled out his phone, already scrolling through an internet page whilst absentmindedly eating his ice. He didn't seem to notice as Eiji quietly closed the door behind him. Ankh waited a few moments before he moved his legs, gently stroking the head of the baby bird he was guarding from Eiji's view. Good thing too. If Eiji saw he might start saying things about the Greeed had a heart or really did care or something stupid like that. "Shut up," He mumbled, gently nudging the second bird closer to the first. "If you don't, I won't feed you."

The door swung open again, and this time Ankh didn't react quick enough to shield them from view. Shit. Eiji darted over and stood on his tiptoes, pointing an accusing finger that was only inches away from the blonde's face. "I knew it!" He cried. "You're hiding…birds?" The brunette tilted his head. Hang on, this wasn't what he was expecting at all. "Wait, birds?"

Ankh pursed his lips. "Shut up."

"Aw, they're cute!" Eiji leapt up on Ankh's nest, half sitting on his legs as he reached out to pet one of them. "Why do you have birds?"

"They fell from their nests," He grumbled grudgingly, pulling his legs back and causing to Eiji to teeter precariously as his weight shifted. "And people were touching them, so of course their mother wouldn't come back."

Ah. So that's why he was so angry earlier. "Well I think it's good you rescued them, Ankh," Eiji grinned brightly, patting the Greeed's shoulder. Ankh growled and shook his hand off, glaring at the brunette.

"Not a word of this to anyone," He threatened, bringing out his true form's hand and grabbing Eiji's face, his talons digging into the other's cheeks.

"I promise." The brunette's grin fell, but not so much that he had stopped smiling. "Don't worry, I won't tell Gotou about how you have babies now. Oh! Guess the term 'mama bird' is literal now, huh Ankh?"

Ankh's eyes twitched in anger and he threw Eiji off his nest face first. "Ow." The brunette groaned at he landed on the floor, hard.

"Good." He hissed, turning his attention back to…his…babies. Damn Eiji, they were not his children he was only looking out for them because he hasn't gotten rid of all his birdlike habits just yet—that's all.

Eiji left the attic, his footsteps echoing loudly and as he began to shout Ankh's eyes widened in horror and he scrambled down his nest, hurriedly setting a barrier between the babies and the edge of his makeshift bed so they wouldn't fall.

"Chiyoko-san! Hina-chan! I need to tell you guys something!"