All translations, explanations, advertisements, polls, and thought processes are at the end of the chapter.

Disclaimer: All shows/ books/ video games/ songs that are mentioned in this chapter are all © to their respective owners, I don't own them.

I've always was an optimistic person. Come hell or high water, I'd always try to find the best in any given situation. If it became too hard to find any good, I always did my best to salvage it so that I could find one thing, just one thing, that wasn't all that bad. It gave me hope that everything would be alright.

Maybe there's something wrong with my brain, or maybe I just didn't get the memo that was sent to inform people to grow up and be more realistic, but I can't help it. I just want everything to be gravy, I want everything to be 'okay,' I want everyone to be happy and content. Is that so bad a thing, happiness?

But this time, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find anything, not even one good thing.

Really, I was the one who was at fault. I was the one who let it escalate as far as it did. I was the one who didn't step up and say something when the first signs started to manifest themselves. I was the one who didn't pay attention, too stupid and naïve to know any better, too trusting than what should be healthy.

My mama always said I couldn't do anything right without her holding my hand, and it was only now that I was starting to realize how true that was. I always had my head so high up in the clouds, that this moment, this terrible situation, was a shock and a painful one at that. I was willing, at this point, to take biology class for the rest of my life, if only for this situation to have never happened.

My grandma had warned me countless times that if I never stepped up, people would walk all over me for the rest of my life. I was too compliant, too acquiescent, too willing to yield to biggest person in the room. I've never been able to stand firm against anyone, especially not against him.

I trusted him, I trusted him.

And maybe that's the problem right there, I trust too easily. I take what people say at face value and take their actions as genuine, without thinking and to look for any hidden motives. It's nigh impossible for me to read in between the lines, and I couldn't be subtle to save my life. So, really, when the one person I trust the most says that I am nothing and that I mean nothing to him, I believe him.

I believe him, and, oh, Dear Lord in Heaven, it hurts. I can't breathe, I can't talk, and it's hell.

The hurt fills me so completely, that I can't do anything but cry. Like I said before, I must've lost the memo that told me to grow up, because I'm crying like a little girl again, and I can't stop. It's like I'm back in preschool again and having that stupid bucket of dirt being dumped on my head which caused that awful haircut, but that's not the point. It's like I'm back to being the "crybaby" because of a few words.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but your words can always hurt me.

My eyes are like a leaky faucet, I can taste the salt, and my nose starts to run. I don't flee though, I can't, because with him, running just makes everything worse. I want to, though, I just want to run, run, run and never look back, just like the coward I am. My legs tremble and hips ache from the tension in my body, from the force it takes to keep myself from moving.

"Oh," I say. "Oh, okay, that's-that's fine. Do…Do you want me to leave?" I ask this, because it's the only thing I can say at this point, and I know my tears are making him uncomfortable, since he refuses to look at me. Despite myself, a faint hope stirs within me that he'll say, 'yes, leave and never come back.'

Of course, he doesn't say that and he never will. I will never be free.

Ever.

"You can't," he informs me flatly, just as I expected him to, and I could feel myself become resigned to the series of events that I knew were firmly set in place. I knew how this conversation would end.

It felt wrong, all of it, like it was all one big mistake, one big error that I was the cause of. I changed events, I made him like this. It was all my fault. If I just disappeared like I should have, he wouldn't be like this, he would be the person he was supposed to be. I try to find something to say, something to try to make things right, but the cupboard was bare. "Oh, right, sorry. I'm sorry, I just-sorry," I stutter, my mouth unable to form the words I want to say, my verbal tic interfering.

I could only apologize, the words sounding unworthy and pointless as they spilled from my mouth. I was always apologizing, something he once, ironically enough, told me that I didn't have to do all the time. That not everything I did was my fault or needed apologies.

He sighs, as if tired with the situation. Maybe he remembered his exasperation from times before when he constantly told me to stop apologizing. Eventually, he continues, giving me his, now per usual, instructions, "Stay here. Don't leave, no matter what." And he doesn't have to wait to hear my affirmative, because I wouldn't dare say no, but still, even though he's gone, I answer him. I still feel that loyalty and love for him, that need to seek approval.

"I won't."

I haven't seen him for the longest while, and I can't help but wonder if he has left me here to rot, but where else could he go? Besides, it doesn't fit the person that I once thought I knew. If there was any trace of the man that I had admired and loved left, he would be back.

But not for me, not for "nothing."

He'd be back because this was his home, this was his universe. I was just another responsibility on his shoulders, an intruder who could never leave his sight and was now too dangerous to be allowed to leave the TARDIS for the safety of others. I knew too much, far too much, and if he knew all things I really knew, I doubted that I would be given the freedom to roam around the TARDIS like I was. It would probably be only a matter of time before he did, before he finds out these last secrets that I'm harboring from him and puts me in a time lock or inside a mirror.

I could understand the Master's choice now, even if only partially. Too indispensable to get rid of and too dangerous to be allowed to continue as I had been. I didn't flatter myself with the idea that I might've been a more preferable prisoner.

You're probably confused, sorry. The End of a story is never a good place to start. Well, usually. Sometimes it's good, but this time, for sure, it's a bad way to start this story. You wouldn't be able to understand how things got to be the way they did, otherwise. You wouldn't be able to understand why I feel the way I do about this man or why his rejection would cause me such despair. I'll give you fair warning, though, this is not a fairytale.

No matter how much it may seem so, I'm not Alice and this most certainly is not Wonderland. This story, I'm afraid, is unlikely to end happily and I've given up on waking up if it really is only a dream. You know how it all ends but, please, allow me to tell you how it all began before you decide to leave with everyone else.

It all started when a tree decided to have me for lunch…

Yes, a tree, no need to sound so cynical.

That's crazy, you say? Well, it only got crazier from there.

To Be Continued...

Poll: Which Doctor: 9, 10, or 11?

Thought Process: Let me say one thing: THIS IS A TEST CHAPTER.

I might not continue it.

I have no clue where it's going.

That being said, this is a realistic, self-insert, Doctor Who fan fiction. This character is basically me and what I think about myself. This character is a more extreme version of myself, the self I feel that I am. She is not a reliable narrator the majority of the time, since their are many things she isn't aware of and is bias towards. If I do continued this, there will be point in time where I change the point of view so that you as a reader can understand what is going on, but otherwise, we'll just stick with her point of view.

This chapter is inspired by Reality and Lost in Time.

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TITLE: Lost in Time

AUTHOR: emptyvoices

ID: 10106809

SUMMARY: A story about a girl from our universe crossing over to the Dr. Who universe but with untold consequences. She is pulled into a dimension of insanity where fiction comes to life in frightening ways and wants to find her way back to the real world that she knew. She becomes tangled up in a mystery for the 10th doctor to discover on his journey. Will she find her way back home?

OPINION: It takes an interesting concept and makes said concept its own. A girl forced to become an unwilling companion because if she not careful she could cause the destruction of the universe. It's a story about free-will and what if a person had no choice in becoming a companion. A great story that is, sadly, underappreciated.

TITLE: Reality

AUTHOR: LovelyAmberLight

ID: 9864475

SUMMARY: I wanted a more realistic story of a whovian getting stuck in the "Doctor Who" universe. This isn't the typical "yay, I met the Doctor" whovian story. Think about it. If you suddenly found out the Doctor was real, wouldn't you be just a little scared. That would mean all the monster were real too! This story starts off with the episode "Rose," and will continue on from there.

OPINION: Very well written, like a Doctor Who version of "Dreaming of Sunshine." It's a must read for those of you who want to see a slightly-darker Doctor who is still able to remain completely in character. Girl from our universe put into the Who-verse with a Doctor who thinks that she could be a hazard to herself and everyone else. A fantastic story in the making that reads like a script straight from BBC.

Happy Sunday,

FFA, the Fan Fictional Authoress

Date Submitted: Sunday, March 3, 2014.

Thought Process 2:

Well, I revamped this chapter and made some editions. For those of you who read the original chapter you'll hopefully notice that it's less scatterbrained and make more cohesive sense that it did before. If not, well, that's fine, I guess, nothing wrong with that.

You'll also notice the cover for this story is different too. And the title. And the summary.

I actually got inspiration for the title from "When the Stars Burn Down" by Phillips Craig & Dean. Good song. Anyway, maybe I'll accomplish my goal of attracting the attention of more readers with this more serious and less crack-ish front. Because, really, this is a more serious story than it is a parody one.

Also, I got a job. :O Well, I actually had it for a while, this is just the first time I'm mentioning it. *Laughs* I'm working at Arby's by the Oak Park Heights/Stillwater area. If you ever stop by and notice a chubby girl with highly-expressive eyebrows and an unusual name (you'll know it when you see it, most people don't choose this virtue for a name), be nice and say hi. Feel free to mention if you've read my stories, I won't be weirded out at all. Likely, I'll be very flattered and stutter-y.

Happy Thursday,

FFA, the Fan Fictional Authoress

Date Edited: Thursday, August 14, 2014.