A/N: Guess what story is back from its grave! Ironically, I just decided to return to it after I heard the sorrowful news of Butch ending FOP. And so to pay my respects, I'll be doing an epilogue to "The Choice" and will try to finish this story out for old time's sakes since to my surprise, it's still getting quite a lot of views to this day. So thanks to those who have read this! As you know, well at least for me, Butch's direction for the series kind of fudges up the timeline and has me going WTF(udge) for most of it. I mean Poof was an adorable addition I can understand, I can maybe even excuse Sparky and as much as I love Crocker, too dang much of him gives you cavities, but I drew the line with Chloe. That was just…WTF(udge) Butch?! But anyways…No worries, I will try to make due with letting all of them coincide with my story somehow…
Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Butch Hartman does…or did...
The front door to the Turners' Residence cracked open slowly as Timmy Turner pulled his keys out of the lock, walked inside, and dropped his briefcase on the floor.
"Honey?! Kids?! Anybody home?!" Timmy asked loudly as he walked in the hallway. He noticed one of the cars in the driveway gone and concluded that his wife must have left with their daughter for their Cream Puff meeting. He then noticed Tommy's muddy shoes in the doorway.
"Hm, well looks like Tommy's home at least. But he didn't answer…maybe he's busy with something. And hopefully, that certain something is cleaning up his room as he was supposed to like a responsible young man, making us parents proud!" Timmy smiled, but then scoffed at the thought. "Well, nothin' wrong with hoping. But then that means…"
Timmy drifted off into the living room, noticing that the room was clear and the giant flat screen TV was completely unoccupied.
He smiled and rubbed his hands together.
"Perfect."
Meanwhile in Tommy's room…
She figured she really should say something…
At least that's what Wanda was thinking as she let out another groan at the sight of Tommy Turner pressing buttons furiously on his game controller as his eyes were glued to the screen, mumbling out various childish curses and taunts at his character's opponent, eager to take him down in battle.
If only he could have that same drive and determination for cleaning his STILL very messy room…
Or at least to use the broom stick properly for needed tasks…
Then again, she knew she was asking too much. But since her motherly instincts would not be denied, the nagging ensued as a result.
"Hey Sport, I think it'd be a good idea to get back to cleaning your room before your mom gets home. You don't want to get into any more hot water than you probably already are at this point, ya know!" Wanda pointed out.
Tommy waved his fairy godmother off instantly. "Huh? What? Oh yeah sure, water's good for you. Whatever ya say, Wanda-WHAT THE?! HOW'D HE LAND THAT COMBO THAT QUICK?! FREAKIN' CHEATER! PROBABLY A HACKER I BET!"
Poof stopped sucking his thumb for a moment to float closer to his god-nephew, choosing to use his real voice for talking. "Hm…I dunno 'bout that buddy, to pull a move like that in such a short time frame takes actual time and skill. So, I'm afraid I have to rate this as a legitimate ownage of your butt being handed to you on a platter right now."
"Grr SHUT UP! I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN ALL YOU COULD SAY WAS, 'POOF, POOF'!" Tommy growled.
"Sore Loser…" Poof grumbled in his thoughts before giving a wicked smirk and flying to hug his mother, putting on a cute and pitiful face. "Poof, poof!" He whined cutely.
"Now Tommy, you shouldn't yell at your…god-uncle like that!" Wanda scolded, though she wore a look of slight confusion of how weird it was to call her son that since he still looked fairly very young even though he was much older now: such was the very confusing and stark contrasts between fairy and human aging…
"Man this poser is SO lucky I can't find my gamer headset right now! I'd trash talk this idiot to an oblivion!" Tommy grumbled as his fingers pressed harder on the controller buttons.
"Thomas Timothy Turner! Don't ignore me like that! It's rude!" Wanda glared, raising her voice.
"GAH! TOMMY, YOU LISTEN TO HER RIGHT NOW!" Cosmo shouted, making Tommy actually pause the game in shock and freeze at the authoritative tone in Cosmo's voice.
Wanda also froze in shock and admiration. "Oh, Cosmo!" She batted her eyelashes flirtingly. "I didn't know you had it in you! I-"
"-I MEAN DO YOU NOT HEAR THIS NAGGING LADY?! THE POWER OF HER BADGERING IS TOO MUCH FOR MY EARS! MAKE IT STOP BEFORE SHE DESTROYS US ALL! AAAAHHHHHH-!
*CLANG*
"Ooh…pretty stars…Me go sleep now…" Cosmo slurred. Wanda then rolled her eyes at the sight of her husband falling unconscious after she hit him with a frying pan.
"And as for you, apologize to Poof right now!" Wanda folded her arms as she floated in front of Tommy.
"Uh Wanda! Vibe killer! Don't be one! Now please move!" Tommy blurted as he tilted his body to the side, dodging the magical being who blocked his view of the television screen as he resumed his game.
Poof's eyes widened as if saying "Ooh snap! Wrong thing to say!" as he poofed up a bag of popcorn ready to watch the show.
Wanda's glare deepened, as she fired up her wand and said in a dangerously calm voice, "You now have the following three options. And the fact that I'm giving you this opportunity shows that I'm a in a good mood. You can either watch as your beloved X-Gamestation combusts into flames, along with any other ones that you'll most likely wish up later to replace it, or, I could just poof you to the Vicki-Bot factory HQ completely unarmed…OR I can poof you right to your Dear Auntie Chloe's house with a forged message of needing "quality bonding time" with her, per your parents request in order to get more in touch with your sensitive side. What'll it be?"
Tommy's pupils dilated in horror as he gulped fearfully. "Oor…I-I c-could just do what you told me to in the first place and a-apologize! Which I will do! Right now!"
He practically pulled the floating sphere shaped fairy to ground level, hugging him tightly. "PLEASE FORGIVE ME POOF! SPARE ME FROM YOUR MOTHER'S WRATH, I BEG OF YOU!"
"Poof poof!" Poof smiled and giggled victoriously, patting his 'nephew' on the back with his rattle. Tommy then gave him a secretive glare as if declaring that he was evil and promised retaliation.
"…That was hot..." Cosmo blurted randomly once he gained consciousness, making his wife swoon over him once more as she kissed him sweetly on the lips.
Cosmo wasn't that much of an idiot to not return the affection wholeheartedly, making Tommy and Poof retch in unison. "Eeww!"
"Oh, says the fairy who spent weeks being mushy to endlessly woo a certain triangle-not girlfriend so she wouldn't leave you for that new octagon shaped guy in your Spellementary class!" Cosmo teased, his wife giggling at his retort in his embrace.
Poof pouted, blushing in frustration and embarrassment before shouting, "SUPER TOILET!"
"GAH! SO…MUCH…CLOGGING!" Cosmo automatically pushed his wife away from him at full-force before dropping to the ground in a fetal position, rocking back and forth, and sucking his thumb. He then paused to glare at his son. "I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN ALL YOU COULD SAY WAS, 'POOF, POOF'!" He declared before resuming his traumatized state.
Tommy rolled his eyes at the nonsense, sneaking back onto his game before his eyes widened in terror as the announcer proclaimed the fatal words on the screen,
"END HIM!"
"WHAT THE?! No, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Tommy shrieked in horror as he watched his character mercilessly get beaten, crushed, and ripped into shreds by his opponent's final strike combos, killing him off in ways that defined a new meaning to the word "murder".
"CASUALTY MET! GAME OVER!"
Tommy growled, yelled, and threw his controller down harshly to the floor. "GRRAAHH! CURSE YOU-!" He paused his furious rant to read the name of his opponent's online screen name before continuing, "-PINKHATWARRIOR4EVER! I'LL GET YOU YET! THAT'S A PROMISE!"
Wanda smiled."Well now that you're all done with your rage quit, how about getting back to doing the right, responsible duty of tending to-"
Tommy gasp as his eyes widened. "-THE SPIDER!"
"-Actually I was gonna say, your room, but-Hey! Where are you going?! I wasn't finished giving out my wisdom yet! " Wanda protested watching Tommy rush out of the room without a second glance.
She face palmed with a groan. "Oh! Is it too much to ask for people to just listen to what I have to say?!" Waiting for a witty response from her husband who floated next to her, needless to say, she was shocked by the silence that followed instead.
She turned to see him blink at her. "Uh...er aren't you gonna say something thoughtless or stupid to that?"
Cosmo scoffed in reply. "And risk another concussion?! HA! How stupid do you think I am, Lambchop?!" Offended, he stuck his nose in the air with folded arms and floated off.
*THUNK*
...Straight into a wall.
"Ooh look! The pretty stars are back along with another concussion! Yay!" Cosmo slurred before passing out once more.
Tommy rushed out of his room and into the hallway to where he left the jar carelessly on the ground. Before he could round the corner to the location he heard a poof next to him. He turned and faced his fairies with a desperate, pleading expression.
"Cosmo! Wanda! Poof! Please reassure me that my chances of finding the stupid spider in its jar right where I left it are pretty high and that there's not a possibility that it broke free and is roaming around the house where I can't find it in time for my stupid twin sister to not kill me!
"We could, but then we'd be lying." Cosmo and Wanda said bluntly in unison.
"Poof, poof!" Poof chimed in agreement.
Tommy rounded the corner to see the jar on the floor, lying on its side completely open with no tarantula in sight. He searched frantically through the jar, his fears confirmed.
"AH! OH NO! ITS GONE! TAMMY'S GONNA KILL ME! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!" Tommy cried. "Ok, don't answer that." Tommy pointed sharply at the fairies before they could offer responses.
Wanda put a comforting hand on Tommy's shoulder. "Aw Sweetie, cheer up! On the bright side, at least we know it's somewhere still in the house and not in any immediate danger, so there's still a chance that you can recover it before Tammy gets back!"
"You're right Wanda! I better start looking, it couldn't have gotten far!" Tommy ran off to search for the lost arachnid.
There was a silence before Poof broke it with a groan, using his real voice once more. "Ugh, okay, am I the only one who notices how dumb Tommy is for not just wishing the bug back in its jar?!"
"It's an arachnid, Sweetheart. And even though that's true, I think it's for the best! It's not good to rely upon our magic all the time. The fact that Tommy's being responsible enough to look for it on his own and solve the problem says a lot, and I think this little situation will do him some good in learning a very important life lesson in responsibility and being considerate for other people's possessions! Don't you agree?" Wanda smiled.
Poof blinked before replying. "...Well I agree on one thing...Dad's right Mom. You really ARE a naggy lady!"
Cosmo bursted out in uncontrollable laughter.
Wanda fumed at both the male fairies, poofing an anvil over her husband's head before rounding on her son. "OH HUSH, YOU! I LIKED IT BETTER WHEN ALL YOU COULD SAY WAS, 'POOF, POOF'!"
"Hey son, come meet the pretty stars! They're my friieends!" Cosmo slurred, making Poof roll his eyes.
Meanwhile, back in the living room...
Timmy Turner gave a deep, haughty chuckle as he sighed in satisfaction at the television screen. "Ya don't mess with the best, noob. Ya don't mess with the best."
He took the game controller in his hand and dropped it smoothly in a "drop the mic" fashion, not noticing the strange green glowing tarantula making its way on top of the controller.
The man's stomach growled. "Man, all this noob pwnage is making me hungry. 'Wonder if Toots cooked up somethin' good before she left?" Timmy mused aloud before getting ready to raid the refrigerator. He stood up, giving a long victorious stretch before looking down at his socked feet...
Only to see a a rather large spider stretched out on top of his foot...
It was in that moment when the grown bucktooth man realized that he inherited some of his father's traits...
One in particular at the moment being a certain high-pitched ear-piercing screech.
Back up stairs in Tommy's bedroom...
"Aww man! I-I can't find it anywhere!" Tommy frowned tiredly, tossing his comforter from off his bed into the even messier pile of clutter on the floor and plopping on his soiled mattress in hopelessness.
"Careful Tommy! You have that look on your face that you always get before asking if your situation could possibly get any worse!" Wanda warned.
"WELL CAN IT?!" Tommy snapped, throwing his hands up in surrender.
A shrill, girly, glass shattering scream sounded off from downstairs.
"Yeah, probably shouldn't have asked that..." Wanda and Cosmo stated dryly.
Tommy hurried downstairs to see where that horrid sound barrier breaking scream came from only to freeze at the sight of his father using a baseball bat to beat something repeatedly before tossing the item aside and then picking up the coffee table and slamming it up and down repeatedly, before tossing that aside and jumping up and down furiously...in metal spiky cleats...All the while, not losing the scream.
"D-dad?" Tommy hesitated.
Timmy finally stopped screaming long enough to freeze at the sight of his wide eyed son, the realization of how awkward the situation was, becoming evident to him.
"Oh...H-hi son!" Timmy tried to smile optimistically despite the fact that he was busted.
Before Tommy could say anything else, he turned his curious, wandering eyes towards the floor at whatever his dad was hitting, only to immediately regret the sight of green colored guts and blood splattered on the carpet. Nonetheless, his question from earlier was answered.
"Yep. Things definitely just got worse..."