The darkness always comes in unexpected waves. Those waves overwhelm me, pull me under, leave me gasping for air. The water crushes my lungs. My heart withers away in my chest until I am nothing.

When I finally start to rise out of that ruthless ocean, I choke out his name.

"Cory."

It all feels so loud to me, so earth shattering. I always wait for Cathy or Julian to come running to my room, concerned about the commotion. But they never come. Somehow, all of those crashing waves fit inside of my head, where only I can hear them.

I clutch the sheets underneath me in both hands. Tears roll softly over my skin.

"I love you," I whisper. "I still don't know how to do this without you."

Living without my twin brother has always been impossible. With Cory missing from my life, I am incomplete.

When I finally force myself to stand, I see myself in the mirror across the room. I am pale and trembling with hollow blue eyes. I steel myself against the pain. I don't want Cathy or Julian to think something is wrong.

After I dress, I straighten my shoulders and march out to the kitchen. Cathy notices me and smiles. I force myself to smile back.

This is how many of my days begin.

Julian and I still have not spoken about what happened between us. Our relationship is now awkward and strained. It's hard for me to look at him.

One morning, I wake up alone in the apartment with him. Cathy had to buy groceries or something, he tells me.

I stare at him fearfully, my heart knocking violently into my ribs.

"Carrie, don't look at me like that. I'm not going to hurt you." Eyes pleading, he adds on, "Please sit down with me. I just want to talk to you."

Reluctantly, I nod. I sit beside him on the couch, right where it happened.

I can't meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry about what happened, sweetheart. It wasn't right of me to do that to you. You're just a child… You're my Carrie. But I want you to know that I would never intentionally hurt you. I thought I was helping you."

I try to harden myself against his words, but it is difficult. I snap, "Are you sure you weren't just trying to help yourself?"

"Oh, I was definitely trying to help myself." He smirks, but the expression quickly fades. "But I also wanted to help you. I thought it would make you feel good, but I was obviously wrong."

I am silent for awhile before I say, "You weren't wrong." My skin burns with embarrassment. I finally let my eyes skip over to his, but only for a moment.

He releases a breathy chuckle. "I'm glad I wasn't wrong." Then he takes my hand in his. "So are we okay?"

Gazing into those brilliant blue eyes, I couldn't possibly say no. "Yes. As long as that doesn't happen again."

"Of course it won't." He smiles brightly and envelops me in his arms. He murmurs into my hair, "I'm so happy to have my fairy girl back."

I return the embrace. "I'm so happy to be back."

And I mean it more than I have ever meant anything.

A/N: I just wanted to thank all of you who have kept up with the story so far. It means a lot to me that you actually find my story interesting. :) By the way I just found out that Petals is coming out on May 26th and I am so pumped! I can't believe how soon that is this is so insane the first movie just came out what is happening sorry if I'm rambling I'm just so excited okay bye now.