Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, they belong to J.K Rowling.

Rated: M for matrue

Warnings: Swearing and SNAPE BASHING!

Author's Note: This is another story that portrays Snape in unfavorable light. If you adore Snape and hate to see him bashed, this story is probably not for you. If you dislike or neutral to Snape, you might enjoy this story. I hope I kept Snape close to character and I'm not sure if I captured Lily and James character, mainly because they are hardly seen in the books/movies. One of these days I'm going to write a Snape mentors Harry story, until then there is this. Also the title is a homage to Sherman Alexis, a much better writer than I. Without further ado, enjoy.

He was expecting to see Lily. He was expecting to see the red hair and green eyes of the woman he had loved all of his life. He had seen a pitiful copy of her eyes as he was dying but now he wanted to see the real eyes. The eyes that held compassion, and anger, and wonder. He wanted to see the eyes that had captivated him since childhood.

He expected to hear Lily, to hear her clear, light laugh. He wanted to listen to her voice, soft and firm as she debated all sorts of things with him. He wanted to sit and listen as she explained to him her thoughts on all sorts of subjects. He wanted to talk to her again, like how they used to do. Most of all he wanted to hold her hand in his as he proclaimed his love for her.

He sat in the darkness, waiting for her. Waiting for her love to redeem him. He didn't know how much time had passed for there was no light to judge the passing of days. He didn't feel tired or hunger or feel much of anything. He couldn't hear or smell. It was just a void. It wasn't until what he called the third day, did something change. The sound of someone whistling broke through the dark. As the whistling became louder, so did the sound of footsteps. Then came a chuckle that he had dreaded to hear since his first year at Hogwarts.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" came the unmistakable voice of James Potter. There was a light that illuminated both men. James looked the exact same as the day he had died. From his wild untamed hair to the slightly crumpled robes, he was an exact replica of the corpse he had seen when looking for Lily.

"Potter," Snape sneered as he got to his feet.

"Snape, what a pleasant surprise," James drawled the sarcastic statement.

"What are you doing here?" Snape demanded.

"I was enjoying the afterlife. You should know that, after all you did help kill me," James stated as if he were talking about the weather.

"I – Where's Lily?"

"Wow, can't even admit that you killed me," James said.

"You deserved it. After everything you did to me in school you deserved it," Severus snapped.

"Oh please Snape, you weren't some poor innocent victim. You gave just as good as you got. Does Marry McDonald ring a bell?"

"Who?"

"Marry McDonald, the girl you laughed at as she was tormented by two of your friends." Snape paled at the implication.

"I am nothing like you," he yelled.

"You're right. You're worse. I at least can admit what I did was wrong. You drowned yourself in so much self-pity that you became something much worse then me," James said.

"Fuck you, Potter," Snape shouted. "Fuck you and your friends."

"Who are rather conveniently dead," James added. "Besides I thought you were looking for Lily."

"I—Why isn't she here?"

"She didn't want to talk to you, and who am I to force her to?"

"I have to see her. Tell me where she is," the ex-death eater demanded.

"Probably having tea with Remus."

"Take me to her."

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because I love her."

"Do you really?"

"What? Of course I do. I love Lily Evens."

"She's Lily Potter and I don't think you ever really loved her."

"WHAT? Of course I love Lily," Snape bellowed. He desperately wanted his wand just so he could curse the smirk off of James's face.

"If you loved her you wouldn't have hung out with those future death eaters and wouldn't have called her a you-know-what." Snape paled even more, giving his skin an almost translucent quality.

"I—"

"And you wouldn't bargain with her husband and son's lives with a madman, or join the death eaters that killed others like Lily, or treat Harry, our son, the way you did," James quipped.

"I did it to save Lily and Harry. If I didn't act the way I did I would have been found out," Snape blurted out, trying to find some way to see Lily again.

"No, you did it to easy your guilty conscience. Might as well hate a innocent boy then admit you were at fault," James stated. He turned away from Snape before speaking.

"Oh and Snape," Severus saw James hand curl into a fist, "This is for Harry." James turned, pivoting on his foot, as his fist slammed into Snape's overly large nose. Snape staggered back from the force of the blow before he returned his own punch to the cheek. Snape was punched in the kidney as he attempted to punch James in the nose. Snape, still hunched over from the pain of the kidney punch, received a knee to the face. The force of the blow sent him sprawling across the ground. He lay there in a daze from their short fight.

"The pathetic part of all of this is that she might have loved you. If you just chose her over the dark arts, she might have loved you," James panted. Snape scowled and forced himself to stand up. He watched as a frown replaced the smirk that was constantly worn on James's face. He clenched his fist before he smashed it in to James's nose. He felt a surge of triumph as James fell to the ground. Within moments Snape was sitting on top of James Potter as he pummeled his sworn enemy. He kept hitting James until a familiar scream and a bright light blinded him.

As soon as the black spots faded from his sight he saw the one thing that he had dreaded: Lily Evens helping James Potter. He felt something inside him break as Lily, surrounded by Black and Lupin, helped Potter stand. The strange light seemed to come from Lily and the Marauders.

"James, are you okay?" Snape heard Lily say.

"Of course Lilyflower. A few punches can't hurt me," James said smiling. Snape, still on the ground, stared up at them. He watched as Lily inspected his face. She was just like how he remembered her from her crimson hair and bright emerald eyes to the crease between her eyebrows and small scar on her chin.

"L-Lily," Snape stammered out. She emitted a small gasp as she finally noticed him.

"Snape," she said, her tone held far less warmth than when she spoke to James.

"Lily I—"

"Save it. I don't care anymore," Lily snapped.

"But Lily—"

"Not interested," she said. James's hand was on her shoulder as if trying to give her strength. She and the others started to leave when Snape called out to her. She turned and faced her once best friend.

"Lily, I love you," Snape blurted out suddenly, tying to make her stay.

"No you don't," was her abrupt reply.

"Yes I do! I gave up my life for you. I betrayed the Dark Lord for you. I lived everyday of my life for you. I love you," Snape reasoned as he tried to convince Lily of his sincerity.

"You don't love me," Lily stated, her eyes burning with righteous fury. "You loved the idea of me. You loved the image of me that you hold in your mind. You loved the little girl that was in awe of magic. That isn't me. Not anymore."

"Don't say that Lily," Snape pleaded. "Don't leave me." James, Sirius and Remus stood slightly behind her giving her space but still close enough so that she knew that she wasn't alone. Snape felt their eyes boring into his soul as they stared at him from behind Lily.

"And that is what it all boils down to doesn't it. What does Snape want? What does Snape have to have? What does Snape need? It was and always will be about Snape and no one else," Lily said.

"That's not true."

"Yes it is. If you actually loved me you wouldn't have joined Voldemort, you wouldn't have delved into the dark arts," Lily spat. "You made your choice, now live with the consequences."

"Potter made me do it," Snape moaned. "If they didn't hurt me—"

"James didn't make you do anything! He didn't force you to hang out with Death Eaters, he didn't force you to join Voldemort, and he didn't force you to use the dark arts. You chose them all by yourself," Lily yelled. She panted trying to catch her breath from the tirade. Snape opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water.

"Do you think you're the only one," Lily said suddenly startling Snape.

"What?"

"Do you think you're the only one who's been abused and bullied? Because you're not, so stop trying to use it as an excuse." She watched with disinterest as Severus paled even further. As she turned to leave he grabbed her arm.

"I saved your son," Snape hissed. James, Sirius and Remus winced as they saw the fury that had abated in Lily's eyes return with a vengeance. She pivoted on the ball of her foot and with an outstretched arm, slapped Snape hard across the cheek.

"My son saved himself Severus," she said spitting out his name like it was made of dirt. Snape held his cheek with the palm of his hand, staring at Lily in shock. He never thought that Lily would ever strike him. "He saved himself with no help from you."

"You're making a mistake Lily. Potter will never love you like I do," Snape shouted as Lily turned to leave.

"Good, because he actually loves me as a person and not as some trophy," Lily said over her shoulder as James slung his arm around her neck.

"You'll regret this Lily," Snape said, sounding desperate.

"This is goodbye Snape, I'm not going to see you again." He watched as Lily and James left with Sirius and Remus trailing close behind. He also noticed that light was starting to fade.

"Where is the light going?" he called out. He saw Sirius stop and turn around.

"That's the thing about the after life Snivellus, it reflects how you lived your previous life. You decided to live you life alone and in darkness, so you get to spend the rest of eternity alone in the dark. Enjoy your solitude Snape," Sirius sniggered. Snape watched as his enemy skipped after his friend leaving him alone in the darkening afterlife.

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