Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Dianna Agron and Naya Rivera.

A/N 1: Hi! This is my first story so pardon me with my errors with grammars and spellings. English is not my first language.

A/N 2: I'm shipping Rivergron so much right now and I miss their interactions.

CHAPTER 1

"I want to tell you I love you, but I'm scared."

*The night before Naya's wedding*

NAYA'S POV

I can't wrap my head around the idea of being married tomorrow. A normal bride should be excited and happy, but me? I just feel... weird? Like something or someone is missing. I am not feeling the adrenaline rush I should be feeling, what I feel is sadness and loneliness.

Maybe because...

She hasn't called me yet. She hasn't told me if she is coming to the wedding or not. I've sent her an invitation with two seats, because I know she is now dating someone...

Someone that is not me...

A few months ago she was on the news, being out and proud with her sexuality and "new-found" romance... Apparently she and a girl named Lily were CIA (caught in the act) of making out.. She didn't deny it though. She happily, or so I thought, told the press they are dating.

Watching that interview broke my heart... I know I shouldn't feel that way because, hell, I'm engaged.

And I love Sean, but am I in love with him?

I can't help but to think, or imagine, what could've happened if I remained strong. What would it feel if it was "us" that she was gushing about? What is the feeling of being out with her?

But I broke her heart, I was a coward, I gave up one us... I guess I deserve this...

I can't help the tears that are running through my cheeks right now. I checked my twitter account and saw the tweets of our fans. All the memories, the good and the bad, came crushing back like waves.

I remember the days we were in Paris. She toured me all over the place and brought me to the finest restaurants. She was the sweetest person I've ever met... And I was stupid enough to let her go.

I remember the day I told her I was already engaged. My relationship with Sean is only a PR, because only Dianna has the real key to my heart. Sean is amazing, and I hate myself for pretending that I am in love him, even though I know I don't. He was supposed to be my beard, because I'm afraid, afraid of what would other people say if they knew I am gay.

I only accepted Sean's proposal because that is what everyone is expecting me to do. My publicist and manager told me it will be good for the album. The press, our shippers all expect that I would accept it, that's why I did.

The moment I saw Di's tear-stricken face was the worst moment of my life. Seeing the tears come out from her beautiful hazel eyes; Hearing her scream at me, telling me she hates me for breaking her heart, but at the same time telling me she loves me so much, too much actually; Seeing her beg at me to choose her.

I know I should've told her that there was no choice to be made, because this heart only beats for her, but I didn't. I was a coward. I know if I tell her I still love her, she will still be willing to be with me, even if she is going to be the mistress, because she loves me too much.

But she deserves so much more. She deserves someone who will be willing to be out of the closet with her.

I continued crying for 15 more minutes, then my phone rings...

*ring*

*Dianna (Kitty) is calling*

I immediately picked up my phone and answered the call.

"Hello mouse?" she groggily says, she's probably drunk. Hearing her call me mouse again breaks my heart.

I was about to answer when I heard loud music playing, like in a club or something...

"Hello Di? Where are you? Are you drunk?" I answer

"No I'm not",she laughs (or at least she tries) "So ummm.. How are you?"

"I'm fine...How about you?"

"I'm gre-," then I hear a shriek.

"Oh my god. Di? Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine" she answers I can hear her standing up. "I was just going out- outside, then yeah, I kind of slipped." I know she's drunk... you can tell by the way that she talks.

An awkward moment of silence passed for about 2 minutes, no one wants to break the silence.

"Do you—"

" Are you—"

We laughed. It's this little moments that makes my heart explode out of my chest.

"Go ahead, you first" Dianna says.

"Okay. Well uhmmm" I swallow the lump in my throat. "Are you coming tomorrow?"

Then suddenly I hear her sob. Hearing her cry breaks my heart even more... It brought tears to my eyes.

After a few seconds she answered, "Naya, this is why I called, I was- I was about to ask you to- ummm"

"To?" I encouraged her to continue

She sighed then answered. "To runaway with me. Be with me. Runaway from the wedding, I miss you and I love you so much Naya.." She tells me and the sincerity of her voice creeps into my heart.

I was speechless I don't know what to say.

Suddenly she sings while crying,

Don't say yes, run away now
I'll meet you when you're out
Of the church at the back door
Don't wait or say a single vow
You need to hear me out
And they said "speak now"

I desperately want to say yes. Yes I'll runaway with you. Yes I want to be with you, but I can't. My insecurities and fears start coming on me...

Then I thought,
What if she was only saying this because she wants me to feel the depth of the pain I've caused her? Then I thought again, Di is not like that. What if we're not meant to be together? What if I make the wrong decision? What are the people around us going to say? What if I end up hurting her again?

It was the last question that made up my mind. What I'm about to do is going to be painful for both of us. Yes, I might regret this because I know no one will ever come close to the way I feel about her... But I have to do this...

"No I can't Di. I miss you but I can't- I just can't." I force myself to not to utter those 3 words I desperately want to tell her.

"Why? Why can't you be with me?" her voice breaking

"I don't know why, but what I know is this is what's best for us. You deserve better. I'm sorry"

"I deserve better? I don't want anyone better I only want you.. Tell me Naya, Do you still love me?!"

"No! Can't you understand? I don't love you anymore... I just don't care about you anymore" I lie, as I was saying those words tears were running down my cheeks. They are all lies but I need to do this.

She forces herself to laugh, "Okay fine. It was stupid of me to think that you still love me. After you made that call when I came out of the closet. And you know what? I'll eventually move on and forget about you, how you made me feel and how you broke me..." she tells me while crying.

Her words stabbed my heart like a sharp knife. I know they aren't true but they're painful.

"I'm so sor—"

Then suddenly all I hear is -beeep-

I bring up my knees to my face and continue to cry, until I got tired and laid down on my be, thinking of the only person who holds my heart.

"I want to be with you, Kitty, I want a future with you... I love you so much" I whispered to the darkness as tears flowed down my cheeks.
"I love you... Only you... Forever" then I drifted off to sleep.

A/N: Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions?

Next chapter will probably be Dianna's POV

Should I continue?