CHAPTER 1

Disclaimer: Do not own Castle… just playing around in the sandbox for a while.

A.N: Short multi-chapter novella set just after Knockout (3x24). A.U from Rise onwards (4x1). Angst ridden beginning, fluffy ending, if I can make it.

Summary: What if Rick was not the one who saw the sniper and someone else tackled Beckett to the ground? Consequentially, Castle never got to confess his feelings. What would be the outcome?

Richard Castle was living his worst nightmare at the moment. The heart wrenching terror that had been coursing through his veins for the better part of the last hour was slowly suffocating him. Shock and guilt were warring against each other in his mind, slowly but surely tearing his psyche to shreds.

Images flashed through his mind hard and fast, vestiges of the horror they had been through.

Montgomery's casket being lowered into the ground…Kate giving the eulogy…Javier tackling Kate to the ground with a shout…...Kate on the ground, bleeding out…Ryan and Esposito picking her up, loading her up in the ambulance.

Rick's eyes closed, willing the images out, but they still ravaged him endlessly to no end.

The gurney speeding along the fluorescent lighted hall…Lanie pleading with Kate, tears in her eyes as Kate struggled to breathe…watching helplessly, hoping against hope, ruing the missed chances, the subtext, the obstacles.

Richard Castle's imagination, the imagination that had churned out bestsellers, attracted countless women, made him a millionaire author; it was the very same imagination that was his worst enemy now.

The woman he loved was on the table, fighting for her life as the doctors attempted to limit whatever damage the bullet had caused her. Alexis and his mother were seated on either side of him, hands clutched together in suspense, in sorrow and in prayer.

"It's all right Richard, she's a strong woman. She'll be ok, trust in her."

Alexis hugged her dad as he nodded to Martha.

After half an hour, Josh came out of the OT. Fury was plain as day on his face as he shoved Rick into the wall. Everyone watched, shocked into inaction.

"It's all because of you, bastard. She got shot because of you."

He was literally snarling in Castle's face, maliciousness and loathing rampant throughout his expression. Rick was dimly aware of Kevin and Javi attempting to pull Josh back.

"She flat lined twice before they managed to stabilize her! You're the one who reopened her mother's case. Why the hell did you have to come into her life, between us?"

Castle attempted to speak, but Josh cut across him, voice dripping with disdain and hate. "I'll make sure you stay out from now on, asshole."

With that he left Rick straining against the wall, his expression crumpling in abject agony as Esposito and Ryan supported him in a vain attempt to commiserate.

Nearby, Jim Beckett watched on with an unreadable expression on his visage.

A week later:

Kate was lying on the bed, alone as Castle came in, holding a bouquet of lilies. She gave him a weak smile.

"Hey Castle."

Rick was stupefied into silence. Never had Kate looked as weak and subdued as she did now. Dark circles clouded the skin around her eyes and she looked pale and emaciated in her hospital gown. She was hooked up to numerous machines around her. Tears came unbidden into his eyes.

"Hello Kate. How're you feeling?"

She quirked an eyebrow as glimpses of the old Kate Beckett shone through.

"Not so good, Castle. I was shot in the chest, if you remember."

He closed his eyes for an instant. He remembered that little fact all too well.

"When are you getting discharged?"

"In a week or so. I'll be going to my father's cabin in the Catskills."

Rick wanted more than anything to be at her side, to look after her. He couldn't leave her alone. It would be too much for him, especially after what had happened in the past few days.

"I'll come with you, Kate." His response was instant.

Kate's expression was downcast.

"That won't be necessary Castle. Dad is going with me."

Rick nodded. Jim Beckett was not one to leave his daughter alone.

"But, I can go too. Kate, in case you need anything, I want to be by your side."

Kate spoke up, her voice now blank as she averted her eyes from his.

"Josh is coming with us, Castle. Dad won't be there all the time. Josh volunteered. He even cancelled his trips overseas for this. It'll be all right."

Rick stood dumbfounded. He had absolutely no response to that, given that his heart was breaking into pieces at this very instant. His voice was weak, pleading as he spoke.

"It is fine, Kate. I'll come and see you there. You can give me the address."

She resolutely shook her head.

"No Castle, I can't ask you to do that. Martha and Alexis need you here. You need to be here, not with me. I'll be all right."

Rick nodded stiffly, trying one last time.

"How will I contact you, Kate? Are you taking your cell with you?"

Her reply was absolute.

"I'll see you Castle. Soon."

Rick knew she was closing herself off. They had had this conversation loads of times to know how it went. He didn't push any further, no matter how much it hurt not too. He excused himself from her room. Backing out, he ran into Josh in the hallway. The doctor didn't say anything, he just gave Castle a smug, self-satisfied look and went on his way.

Rick sighed. He would not be seeing Kate off after her discharge from the hospital, that much was implied. The only assurance he had was of Kate saying 'soon', however flimsy it was.

They didn't know that 'soon' would stretch out longer than either had anticipated.

Unlocking the door and entering the loft, he spied Alexis on the sofa, reading. She looked up at the noise and spotted him. Abandoning her book, she made a beeline for him, hugging him tightly as she spoke into his chest.

"How's Detective Beckett, Dad? Are they going to discharge her soon?"

Rick smiled at her, a smile was more grimace than anything.

"She'll be discharged in a week pumpkin. She's going to her father's cabin with Josh. Apparently, she'll contact me soon."

Alexis was finely attuned to her father's moods. It was a side effect of having a doting single parent. Richard Castle had many facets to his persona. She had never seen anyone change moods as quickly as her father could. His playboy persona was a result of having a career that thrived on publicity. After his marriages ended in divorce, by one wife cheating and the other being a woman who couldn't care about anything more than his job, he had long since refused to form any bonds outside family. After a series of short and meaningless trysts, Detective Beckett was one woman that she had seen her father genuinely love. But at the moment, she could only see a broken hearted man. A man who had been pelted with too many refusals, betrayals and missed opportunities in his life. She feared that this might break him irreversibly.

She couldn't help but resent Kate Beckett. Any sympathy and worry for her had disappeared in a jiffy. No matter what happened, the detective had no right to play with her father like she had done. With all the added injuries, heartache and the sleepless nights her dad picked up on the way during his association with the police, Alexis always felt like her father had picked the short end of the stick.

"Dad, I'm so sorry. But don't chase after her if all she does is to lead you on. If something has to happen between you two, it will. But if not, then honestly, it's her loss."

Rick held on to her while Alexis continued in a muffled voice.

"Oh, and a package came for you in the mail today. It's on your desk."

Rick nodded. "Where's your grandmother?"

Alexis let go of him, looking closely at him. "She'll be joining us later for make lunch which I'm going to prepare now. Freshen up and join me in an hour."

Rick kissed her temple and left her to her own devices. Entering his study, he found the package Alexis had told him about. It was unmarked, with only his address printed on it. Slitting it open, he was astonished to find what he did. Newspaper clippings, photographs, compact disks, bank statements, and a whole lot of other material was stuffed into the heavy duty envelope. A sheet of paper, written in a familiar handwriting called out to him. Opening it in haste, Rick sat down to read it.

Dear Richard,

By the time you are reading this letter, I'll be dead and buried. I wrote this letter and compiled this package the day Raglan was shot. It was in storage, directed to be posted and delivered with a single command, which I shall be responsible for, because I have no doubt that they are coming for me. No doubt you have found out what I did, why I protected Kate as much as I did. At first, after all the crimes I committed, after all the things I did, it was to solely protect her and hide myself. For that, I cut a deal with the person responsible to keep Kate off his trail. But later, it changed into a desire to become the best cop, the best captain I could be and to atone for all my mistakes.

I met Kate when she was just a uniform in Vice. She was young little thing then, fresh out of the academy and ravaged due to Johanna's murder. When I first found out who she was, and her desire to become a homicide detective, I nearly transferred her out to another precinct. Working with her while I lived with the guilt of contributing in part to her mother's death caused me to panic. But as I met her in the city archives for the second time in a week, working through the files while looking into her mother's case, I saw something in her eyes that gave me pause. A need for justice, a need for finding the truth and the spirit of a true cop, something which I had been sorely lacking in my days of starting out. It stumped me and as I thought about it, I realized that I had to support Kate, protect her and enable her achieve her goals.

For the first few years as detective, Kate was exactly like I envisioned her. She was a serious and dedicated officer of the law, unwavering in her pursuit of the truth. But until you came into her life, I never saw her having any fun. There was just the desire of doing the job, but personal satisfaction was not a factor until you came in. Until your entrance, almost all the cases Kate, Kevin, and Javier solved were due to evidence, both circumstantial and forensic. You taught her the importance of theory and the story behind the case. You must have known that after you came into the precinct, our clearance rate more than doubled. No doubt before you, we had solved plenty of cases as Kate was too good, but your addition to the team made it the best I had ever seen. I was not sure of you when you first came in, but after the first few weeks, I saw how good you were both for the department and Kate. I was proud of the team and happy that Kate had found support, a rock in her life. Hence the reason why I became one of your strong advocates. Honestly, I began to view you as a favourite nephew.

Your digging into Johanna's case both scared and motivated me. Scared because of secrets coming into light and motivated because for the first time in many years, I sensed an opportunity put the person responsible away. Dick Coonan was caught because of you and your generosity and the thrashing you gave Lockwood and your actions during the Dunn case convinced me of your feelings for Kate.

When you went away for the summer to the Hamptons, Kate was ready to go with you. She had broken up with Demming moments before. But your ex-wife turned up and spoiled the party and that, Castle, was the one time I was truly angry with you. Because of you, we had a very tense couple of months and hence the cold reception you received during the first case back.

I know, right now, that Kate is probably very angry with you due to what happened and my death, but I sincerely believe that you two are destined for each other.

But I digress.

My reason for writing this letter and the contents of the package are twofold. One, to give you all the ammunition needed to solve Johanna Beckett's murder, and two, to provide Kate and you the final push you two need to be together. There are several copies of the package in existence. One has gone to you and one to my replacement at the twelfth, Victoria Gates. She is coming in from Internal Affairs, and I personally requested her to be my replacement under the disguise of my retirement. She is incorruptible, and as hard as nails. So any percolation of news to those responsible for this is not possible. Another copy has gone directly to Agent Jordan Shaw and her boss, whom I know personally. So does Victoria. The person we are after is so powerful politically, that even FBI's higher echelons may not be outside his control.

Finally, the last copy has gone to an old acquaintance of mine. I posted that copy personally after I got Lockwood's message. A retired lawyer, Michael Smith who has connections to the person responsible for all of it. He has been led to believe that his copy is the only one in existence and he has been directed to use that as collateral in exchange for keeping Kate out of danger. Hopefully, anyone tracking his copy will believe that it is only one in existence. You can expect a call from him any time in the next few hours. Play along, he is a temporary player, so his machinations will keep suspicions away from you and those important.

While you solve Johanna's murder, please keep it away from Kate. Kevin and Javi can be brought into the fold, because they understand the necessity of doing this and keeping Kate away from her personal rabbit-hole. Victoria and Agent Shaw will aid and abet you. Don't worry about it. I have explained everything to them, from my involvement to yours and the packages. Victoria can remain outside the radar easily, partly the reason I asked her to come to the twelfth. Plus I may have recommended the top brass her name as my replacement. And Shaw is a top notch investigator and has a vested interest in you and Kate.

All the evidence has been collected through a period of more than twenty years, from my detective days to the day of Raglan's murder, which was almost seven months ago. That day, I knew that he had started to tie up loose ends. At first it was a way to keep leverage, but now it is a weapon that I leave in your hands. It will enough to bring that bastard down. If not, I have full faith that you will be able to so.

I only request that Evelyn and the kids be kept outside this. My name will be kept quiet, I have made arrangements for it to be done, but I hope that you will look after my family for me. Apart from Evelyn and the kids you, Kate, Lanie, Javi and Kevin are my own family, and I hope to God that you all remain happy and healthy.

Signing off,

Roy Montgomery.

P.S. Every electronic piece of evidence, including the name and photo of our target is password protected, except for Smith's which has none of the disks and some of the photographs. The password is the first adjective you attached to Kate. Others have their own clues.

Rick had tears streaming down his face as finished the letter. Montgomery knew him too well. He would likely remember the dedication for his first Nikki Heat book for the rest of his life.

To the extraordinary KB and my friends at the twelfth.

Looking at his watch, he noted that nearly half an hour had passed. Quickly, he reassembled the package and put in his safe and entered the shower. After changing he joined his daughter and mother for lunch, the events of today running through his mind.

A.N: A bit late considering we are at season six know, but i got on the Castle bandwagon very, very recently. And lately, Caskett has turned into one of my favourite pairings of all time. So please, bear with me on this little cliched adventure. I welcome any and all criticism.

Sincerely,

Lust of Alucard