Author's Note: I am so, SO sorry that this is such a late update-but better late than never, I guess? There are a lot of reasons I haven't updated and none of them are very good. I mostly feel like I'm getting too old to write about this stuff but eventually I decided-to hell with it. Honestly, I don't feel very good about this chapter-it was the first thing I wrote for this fanfic, and I've edited it extensively and it's still so messy and wrong to me, it's all so contrived, I know, and I couldn't get anyone foolish enough to proofread this but... here it is. Contrived and unlikely and hard to read as it all is, I needed to update this story. Thank you so much for being so patient-I really wasn't expecting anybody to read this, let alone take the time to review and follow. You guys are amazing!
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Chapter Eight
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It was lights-out, Saturday night at Welton Academy. One week after Angela's eighteenth birthday. Almost 11:15. Neil lay awake, breathless in his empty dorm that night. After the hall lights had been switched off, Neil counted to sixty. And then he counted to sixty again. And then he counted to sixty four more times. And then he opened up his bedroom window and whistled-the signal. Less than a second later, he got a whistle in response. He closed his window immediately and opened his door as slowly as he could so it wouldn't creak too much. He had written directions to his dorm on a crumpled piece of ripped notebook paper and managed to pass it onto Angela (Charlie's idea.) They had it all planned out. He had picked the lock to the entrance just a few minutes before lights-out, after they usually lock it, and he was waiting for her at any moment now. He couldn't hear the usually clacking of her heels on the hard floors, which made him hope she had taken his advice and walked on her stocking feet.
Soon, he heard someone coming down the hallway. Neil peered out of the crack in the door. He prayed to whatever god there was that it was her, and not some other boy, or-god forbid-Mr. Nolan. By some miracle, it was Angela. Neil found himself smiling as huge and giddy as could be as he slowly opened his door to wave her in.
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"We have to be super quiet," he was whispering as he stroked the side of her face. Angela grinned shyly up at him.
"I'm going to shout at the top of my lungs and get you into trouble," she teased.
"Don't you dare," he teased back. They kissed, lightly at first, Angela's hand on his shoulder, Neil's hand on her face. They deepened the kiss then, opening their mouths and breathing heavily, taking in the warmth of one another, tasting all of one another. Neil let a moan escape into Angela's mouth, which made her smile underneath his kiss-she loved that. She wrapped her arms around his neck and lay down on his bed as they continued. The two broke for a moment to catch their breaths, and locked eyes, nearly getting lost in them. Angela's auburn hair was sprawled out across the white sheets of his bed, around her head like a halo, Neil thought (but maybe he got that from a book), her knees pulled up slightly. He was straddling her around the hips, only slightly embarrassed that she could feel him above her.
Neil leaned forward, as if he were to kiss her again, but instead whispered, "Is it ... okay?" She knew what he meant, and nodded. They had planned this, of course, but Neil still felt tentative and wanted absolute permission. Angela leaned down to dig through her purse that was on the floor and pulled out a condom. She handed it to him.
"I'm really sorry again that I couldn't go out and buy some instead," he apologized for the umpteenth time, taking the contraceptive from her gentle hands. "But my dad guards my money so closely, I can't really leave here very often, and I don't know what I'd do with the extras-I can't hide them in here, I'd get caught, and-"
"It's okay, it's okay" Angela interrupted with a laugh. "It's all alright, for the millionth time. It's not a problem." They smiled at one another, and then they kissed again. This time, Angela found herself running her fingers through his hair. She seemed determined, a little more intense than usual, and he loved it. His hips bucked involuntarily into her skirt for a brief moment and he ran his hands all over her body, up and down, ruffling up her nice new sweater she had just gotten for her birthday. Soon enough she was reaching up for his shirt buttons. Neil sucked on her neck as she attempted to unbutton his shirt, but she kept pausing to moan quietly... he knew she couldn't resist when he went for the neck... Angela closed her eyes and moaned as silently as she possibly could as he pressed his lips to her neck and collarbone.
"Neil," she breathed into his ear, which made him smile ridiculously. He loved that he could make her feel this way-he loved that she could make him feel this way. Soon his shirt was completely opened, and she helped him move it to the floor.
"You're next," Neil whispered with an almost devilish smile as he reached for her blouse. Angela giggled in response-she loved when his playfulness came out. He reached into her skirt's waistline to untuck it and he began to unbutton just as she had done for him. Angela found herself almost unable to bear the wait-she needed him immediately. And he needed her. Neil pushed her blouse off of her shoulders as she sat up to help him with the process, and he took a moment to admire his beautiful Angela's body. She was such a tiny, frail, petite girl, and yet her breasts were... well, a size that almost made an adolescent boy thank God for. He couldn't help staring-after all, he was a teenage boy-and he was glad that she didn't mind at all. In fact, right now, she enjoyed it. She was glad he found all of her so beautiful, she was glad he accepted every part of her-mind and body. Neil couldn't help but think of Charlie and how absolutely jealous he would be of him right now.
Soon Angela was grabbing Neil's belt buckle and shoving that to the floor. In exchange, he unzipped the side of her skirt and pushed it off of her long pale legs. Then she went for his pants-unbuttoned and unzipped, gently pushing them down to the floor for him. This made Neil crazy for some reason, and he moaned involuntarily, a little too loud for his liking. Angela giggled softly as his pants hit the ground-and now it was his turn again. He reached for her bra clasp and removed that for her-and then he found himself staring again. Goddamn it, life was so good right now, Neil thought. He remembered all the times Charlie had boasted about seeing boobs before in his life-stories about how he put his head in between them and how girls just loved it when he did that. He found that hard to believe at the time, but Neil suddenly got the urge to put his head in between Angela's breasts-and he found himself almost subconsciously leaning his head down right in that exact spot. She was a bit taken aback, and laughed quietly at the absurdity of such an action, but the feeling of his soft, dark hair against her bare chest sent shivers down her spine, and she played with his hair gently as he placed a soft kiss onto her breast.
After a moment, Neil lifted his head up and gave her a nod-the okay to remove the remaining article of clothing. She grabbed his underwear waistline-she could already see his definite outline- and pulled it down for him. He was very, very hard for her, and very, very ready, which made her very, very ecstatic. Neil fumbled with the condom for a moment but eventually figured how to put it on properly. (He took a moment to silently thank a guide he had memorized from a magazine-where would he be without it?) He removed her panties and then scooted back for a moment to take a look at her. She was beautiful, he thought. More beautiful than any woman he had ever seen in any of the Playboy magazines the other boys smuggled in for them to look at. Her eyes looked so big, her eyelashes so long, her lips perfectly plump and her body was just as gorgeous as her face, he thought. Maybe not everybody saw Angela this way, but he did. Neil took a moment to truly appreciate how lucky he was to be with Angela for this moment. Perhaps for a little too long.
"Neil," she breathed. "Please..." He took that as his cue and aligned himself over her once more. He put one hand on the pillow her head rested on, and the other cupped around her cheek. They kissed once more. "Please..." she begged again into his ear, breaking the kiss. Neil smiled, nodded, and sat up. He carefully guided himself into her, watching carefully for her facial reaction. He was afraid to do something wrong, afraid to hurt her. He heard so many stories about how girls were often hurt, often bled after losing their virginities. Horror stories, really. He didn't want to do that to her. As he started, her face showed signs of discomfort, but she didn't say anything, so he took that as a sign to keep going-slowly, slowly...
Neil was completely inside of her now-a completely strange and new sensation for both of them. It was such a weird, alien feeling, feeling him right there, and feeling her right there, as if he were an extension of Angela's body, and Angela was a part of him. Neil left himself still for a moment as the two of them adjusted to this strange new phenomenon. He stared into her eyes, wondering if he should keep going, wondering if this was really the way it was supposed to go. And then, she pulled his head to hers and kissed him, thrusting her hips upwards. That was his other cue. Neil began to slowly buck his hips downward into her, almost by instinct. He began very slowly and without rhythm, but was soon gradually increasing speed. It was incredibly difficult to quiet the near-slapping noise that they were making by doing this but by now, but the idea of being caught was yards behind them. They couldn't think about anything else but one another. The bed creaked and the two of them were gasping constantly, taking in this strange, exhilarating, new thing that was happening. It wasn't necessarily like they had thought it would be-it felt more unusual and almost frightening than orgasmic, but it was what it was. After a few minutes of intense, fast, awkward thrusting, Neil felt his face flush.
She knew what was happening by the way he moved, by the look on his face-she had made him come before-short handjobs in the backseat of her car on the weekends when he was lucky enough to get away-but nothing as intense as what was happening now, so close to her. "Angela," he whispered-thrust-"Angela"-thrust... and then his eyes squeezed closed. "Fuck," he whispered as he came into her. This made her giggle almost unbearably-she loved that she was able to do that for him, and that he seemed to have caught onto her sailor mouth. The thought of him climaxing was almost enough to make her do the same if she could, she thought. Neil stayed in position for a moment, shuddering for a second, and then he collapsed into Angela's arms. They lay there for a moment, catching their breaths and laughing at intervals. Neil pulled out of her and lay down on his pillow next to his beautiful, gorgeous girlfriend. He kissed Angela on the cheek, winked at her, and pulled the blankets over them. There wasn't much room in his narrow bed, but neither of them seemed to mind. The two squished as close to one another as possible. They lay in silence for a few moments, catching their breath, still forcing themselves to be as silent as possible.
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"Was it all right?" he whispered, which made her giggle.
"It was... all right," Angela replied with a grin. Neil stopped smiling and stared at her with a look of pure concern.
"Please tell me it was more than just all right," he pleaded. He wouldn't settle for anything less than what Angela deserved. She shook her head with a grin.
"No, no. It was great," she whispered back. That made Neil laugh giddily, and he kissed her on the cheek.
"You're great," he whispered in return. She laughed again as he brought her in closer to him. She found his passion and gushiness to be hilarious, but so endearing. She loved Neil-absolutely everything about him. His playfulness, his passion, his loyalty... and she loved that he liked her.
"Did I hurt you?" he whispered suddenly. Angela shrugged slightly.
"I mean, a little bit," she whispered in response. "Not as much as I was expecting... but still... I mean..." she laughed again. "Okay, kind of, yeah."
He looked her dead in the eyes, a feeling of regret washing over him. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've stopped. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, you big goof."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sure." She wasn't one-hundred percent sure, actually. It was a rather sore experience, and Angela's body seemed quite tight. But she didn't want to worry Neil any further. Besides, she still liked it. They lay, cuddled up into one another's arms for a while, breathing slowly against one another and trying not to fall asleep, since Angela would have to sneak out again soon.
Suddenly, one of them broke the silence. To this day, neither one could ever quite remember exactly who said what first. Had the relationship lasted long enough to argue, many playful arguments would have been started about the following events, but all that either can remember is that one of them whispered:
"I love you."
And the other one whispered in response:
"I love you, too."
And that later that evening, Angela was somehow able to sneak out of the boys' dormitory without a hitch. She smiled the entire drive home.