Hearts of Gold

Come on Viviette you can do this! It's really not that hard, you've done this thousands of times. There's no reason to be screwing up right now, you've got this in the bag! You don't want to let Eren win, do you? He'll never let you live it down, so screw your head on and think!

Viviette's scowl deepened, she crossed her arms over her chest before she leaning forward to get a better look at the chessboard, her brow furrowing in frustration. She typically destroyed Eren in chess, but the tables had turned. She was fighting a losing battle . Hesitantly she reached for her knight, her fingers twitching slightly, but quickly decided against the move after putting some thought into it and withdrew her hand. Eren let out an exasperated sigh, quite obviously annoyed.

"You know I don't have all day Viviette." he groaned.

"Well excuse me for trying," she snapped irritably, "besides this match is hardly fair, it shouldn't count."

"Oh yeah, how so?"

"You must have trained with Armin or something and I didn't get to, so this match should be forfeit."

"You just as easily could have played with him, you just chose not to." he countered.

"Whatever...this game is dumb anyway." she huffed.

Viviette ignored his irritating laugh and hastily moved her rook to get the game going again. Eren didn't pull any punches, he ruthlessly captured piece by piece until she was left with two, her bishop and king. She debated whether or not she should simply tip her king over and surrender, but her pride would never allow it. She slid her bishop towards his queen. The game was over and she knew it, but the least she could do was go out in a bang.

"Viviette Tieren!"

She practically jumped out of her skin, her knees jerking into the table.

"Umm yes that's me." she answered, slowly turning to face a uniformed instructor.

"You are required in the commanding office, report there immediately."

"Yes sir."

She waited until the instructor exited the cafeteria before letting panic settle in.

"Oh man, oh man, oh man I am in so much trouble, they're going to kill me!" she wailed.

"Wait what? What did you do?" Eren questioned.

She dramatically slapped her palms against her cheeks.

"See that's the thing, I don't know!" she cried, "it could be anything... oh my...what if they found out I went through inventory and nicked some supplies for the winter practical? They're going to kill me. They'll make me run until I die of dehydration or beat me into a pulp or worse...they'll kick me out of training… They can't kick me out! I've worked too-"

Eren leaned over the table, took a firm hold of her shoulders and shook her until she saw stars.

"Viviette shut up and calm down, it's probably nothing. Just go down there and see what's up, maybe it's about your medic stuff, I don't know."

She let out a slow deep breath. "You're right," she paused, "I'm gonna go."

She quietly exited and slowly made her way towards the command office, her heart beating wildly in her chest. She was scared, Shadis instilled fear in all the trainees and if he was the one who called on her, well she didn't want to think about what he could have her do. There was a laundry list of rules she'd broken in the two and a half years she'd spent training; her and Sasha had garnered quite the trouble maker reputation amongst their peers, she was clueless as to what she could have done to garner a private meeting. Shadis' punishments were the worst, it was enough to make Reiner shake in his boots. She took long slow strides; doing anything to make the walk longer, but before she knew it she was inside command. A throng of instructors shot her questioning looks.

"Can we help you?"

"I'm Viviette Tieren, I was called down here?" she replied stupidly.

"Oh, just head down the hall and it's the last room on the left."

Viviette thanked them and trekked down the hall. She let out one last anxious breath before rapping her knuckles against the thin door.

"It's Viviette Tieren."

To her surprise she did not see her frightening instructor, instead she came face to face with an eccentric woman wearing thick glasses whipping the door open, a wide grin on her face. She ushered Viviette inside and quickly sat her down in a thick cushioned chair. Taken aback, Viviette awkwardly fingered her bishop bracelet as the woman got herself situated.

"It's very nice to finally meet you Viviette, I've heard so much about you and now I can finally place a face to the name!" she greeted, pulling her hand from her lap and shaking it aggressively.

"Ummm nice to meet you?" she replied uncomfortably.

"Ah excuse me, you must be very confused," she sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck, "I'm Squad Leader Zoe Hange of the Survey Corps."

The name sounded familiar, but Viviette couldn't remember where she'd heard it.

"Pleased to meet you ma'am."

"Oh no, Hange is fine please. But why don't we skip formalities and just get to the nitty gritty. I've heard from a little bird that you're interested in the health field, specifically becoming a medic for the Survey Corps, is that true?"

"Yeah actually, I specialize in physical injuries but I can take care of basic illnesses too."

"What's the most challenging procedure you've performed?" she asked, lacing her fingers together as she leaned back in her chair.

"I had to set a friends leg after he fell out of a tree and broke it, but other than that nothing too major, some stitches here and there."

"So you've never performed any sort of surgery?" Hange asked, her questions coming like rapid fire.

"No I've never had a chance to. I understand the theory of it from books I've read and I practiced on a doe once, but I don't know if that counts."

"I assume you've never performed any sort of amputation?."

"That would be correct." Viviette answered.

"Those are some important skills to have under your belt so hop on it if you ever get the chance, I could definitely use someone like you as an assistant. So how about titans?"

Viviette scratched her chin. "Er...what about them?"

"Have you ever thought about researching them?

"I mean not really, what is there to really know about them?"

Viviette jumped as Hange slammed her palms onto the desk separating them, the sound vibrating loudly in the tiny room. While her question was innocent, she couldn't help but feel like an idiot after seeing Hange's reaction. She'd apparently offended her.

"What is there to learn about them? Oh you silly girl we don't know anything about them! How in the world are you supposed to conquer something you don't know about? We need to research them, get everything we can out of them. There is so much information out there, we just haven't had a chance to get a hold of it yet. And believe it or not, we've just been authorized to conduct a mission to capture a titan, it's wonderful l," she ranted with a glimmer in her eye, "I could really use someone like you on my squad."

"I mean I guess I'd be interested."

"Well either way you're going to be a huge asset to the Survey Corps Viviette, it seems like you've learned a lot for a….how old are you?"

"Fifteen, I'll be sixteen this September though."

"Good grief, you're just kid! You look older for your age but I didn't realize you were that young! What are you doing trying to join the military?"

"It's just how things worked out," she said with a small shrug,"in this day and age most kids don't get the liberty of a childhood. Not with the titans knocking on our doors."

"I see," she replied stoically, "well I won't use up any more of your time, I know it's your day off. I do appreciate you coming to see me though, I've actually got a little something for you."

Hange fished around her bag until she located a small leather notebook. She passed it along and Viviette tucked it under her arm.

"What is it?" she asked curiously.

"Just something I thought you should have, read it when you've got a second."

"Well thank you," Viviette stuck her hand out, " it was nice meeting you Hange."

"And the same to you, have a good day."

Viviette shook her hand before seeing herself out. Curiosity scratched at the back of her mind, she wanted to dig into the notebook as soon as possible but knew better than to read it outside. Knowing everyone would be outside enjoying the nice May weather, she hurried to the barracks to read in private. Her friends managed to pick the worst times to distract her and as luck would have it, the barracks were empty save for Krista. She immediately joined her friend on her bed and presented her notebook. Krista ran her fingers over the smooth leather while Viviette bent over to unlace her boots.

"Where did you get this from?" she asked.

"I met with a squad leader just now and she gave it to me, I think it's got some medic notes or something."

"Do you mind if I take a peak?"

"Be my guest."

Krista gasped excitedly as she read the first line, "Do you know someone named Elisa Tieren?"

Viviette choked on her breath and her heart skipped a beat.

"That's my mom's name," she murmured while carefully pulling herself into an upright position, "why do you ask?"

Krista flipped the notebook over and pointed to the small neat text.

Property of Survey Corps Member Elisa Tieren

"Oh my God...I think this used to belong to my mom."

Viviette tore the notebook from Krista's grasp and simply stared at the tattered page. In an instant the notebook had transformed into something precious, a link to her late mother. It'd been five years since she passed and Viviette's chest still tightened uncomfortably if she let herself think about her for too long. After all this time she still wasn't completely over her death.

"I'll give you some privacy, I'll make sure to let the other girls know to stay out for awhile." Krista offered, patting Viviette's back sympathetically.

"Thank you Krista."

With Krista gone, Viviette was left to her thoughts. She was overwhelmed, part of her was anxious and excited to see what was inside but there was some hesitation present. There could be things about her mother she wasn't prepared to know or perhaps there was nothing at all. She didn't know which scared her more. With a shaking hand, she turned the page and began to read.

March 18th 845

I was finally able to get my hands on a new journal, it has been a pain being without one. With everything that has been going on, it feels good to vent again. I don't have too much time to write, we're just getting back from an expedition and it did not go well. I've got a lot of people to take care of. I am a little worried though, I haven't seen Ilse since we regrouped. Hopefully everything is alright, but there is no way to know. All I can do is hope for the best, that's all anyone can do out here.

April 3rd 845

I missed Walter's birthday again, he's 15 this year. I must be the worst mother in the world, abandoning my two youngest to be with my oldest. I know I'm being too hard on myself but sometimes this job is really really hard. I miss my children, I miss my husband, I miss my home... I might retire soon. I am glad that I got to put my talents to use with the Survey Corps but I think my time with them has come to an end. And Leren isn't the same goofy young man he was when he first joined, I know we can take care of himself now. I'm not sure what I want to do.

April 29th 845

I want another baby in my life, all of the death around me is really hard. I want a little grand baby around the house, I wish Leren would find a sweet girl and settle down. I worry for that boy, he is a wonderful soldier but he gets reckless and a bit cocky sometimes. I always wonder what it was that compelled him to join the Survey Corps or what made me want to follow after him. I suppose seeing my oldest child leave to make something of himself awoken something in me. Someday a I feel selfish for leaving Maron to take care of the kids, but I'm the end he understood my decision and stood by me and for that I will be eternally grateful. I love my husband and long to hold him again, I'm missing my other half and it is excruciatingly painful.

June 10th 845

We just came back from an expedition and it did not go well. It really hurts knowing we lost so many good men and women with nothing to show for it. But the part that breaks me is the way people scream at us when we come home. Do they not understand the terrors that are knocking on our doors? That we volunteer to go beyond the walls to try and make a difference. It makes my blood boil hearing the things they say to us, they have no idea what they are talking about. I received a letter from my husband recently, apparently Viviette has decided to follow in my foot steps and become a medic for the Survey Corps... I pray to God this isn't true. Titans are a terrible terrible thing, I don't want my little girl seeing those monsters. They haunt my dreams, I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. There's only so much we can do, we're only human. Even our rising star Erwin Smith is susceptible to injury, He's coming to see me for his shoulder this afternoon. He works too hard, we all work to hard... And for what? No one appreciates us.

July 3rd 845

Human beings are quite tenacious, sometimes I forget that but I'm quickly reminded after working with Hange. We don't work together often because I'm sure I would lose my mind if we did anymore than what we do already. We have done things that are surely unforgivable... I don't know how much more I can handle of this.

July 30th 845

I've officially decided to retire after this upcoming expedition. I thought long and hard about it, but this lifestyle just doesn't work for me anymore. I want to go home and be with my family. Oh, they are going to be so surprised when they find out I'm home for good. I'm sure it will be hard to rejoin everyone, but I know with some time and help from my family that everything will work itself out. It'll be nice, I should be home for Viviette's birthday. She'll be 11 this year...I'm ready to go home.

And then there was nothing. Viviette's heart sunk into her stomach as she anxiously flipped through the pages, but she was met with nothingness. A tiny droplet fell onto the last page, she hadn't realized she'd been crying. She wiped her cheeks on her sleeve before carefully shutting the journal. Just as she leaned against the wall, a harsh realization hit her like a ton of bricks and she couldn't breathe.

"...my mom was gonna come home."

Viviette spent the rest of her evening alone, crying until her tears dried up. She wept for her mother and father, she wept for her missing brother, she wept for the ruins that used to be her home, and she wept for her lost childhood. By the time her peers trickled into the barracks for the night, Viviette was practically catatonic. They tried shaking her from her stupor but she could not be moved. She simply stared at the wall under the safety of her blanket; her mind creating images of the life she could have had, until sleep pulled her into its sweet embrace.

Hello all and long time no see. I finally was able to pick up this story again, I didn't forget about it believe it or not. I am really really sorry for the long delay, life just called for my attention and I had to put this on the back burner. Moving to a new town and getting into cosmetology school has taken a lot of my time, but at long last I have returned. I actually rewrote this chapter at least five times, I just didn't know where I wanted to go with it. I felt it was too soon to just hop back into the normal anime/manga arcs, but I didn't know what I wanted to do. Enough ranting though. Many thanks and lots of love to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and even personally wrote me a message. You guys are amazing and your feed back is appreciated, honestly if it weren't for you guys I wouldn't have picked this back up. Well here you guys go, I hope you like this chapter. Out of the 5 different chapters I wrote, this one seemed the most appropriate with where I wanted to take things. And again, I'm sorry for being gone for so long and will do my best to update again soon. Also sorry if there are any errors, editing on an iPad sucks.