It never changes. I want it to change, but I'm afraid that if it does, things could go worse. I don't want that. But I don't want what I have now, either.
I get up, like every day, when the sun rises. I don't have much time to rest, I don't need it anyway. She, however, truly needs it. She sleeps, like always, until midday, despite having gone to sleep few hours after the sunset. I take everything I need to spend the day: my weapons, my armor. Optional things like the Lloyd Talismans. Escencial things like the Dark Hand and the Red Orbs.
What I do could be easily described as "despicable". I use the orbs when I feel someone nearby. I cross the gap between worlds and find myself in their worlds. Always changing, those worlds. There are never two the same, there are never the same people in them. But I'm always the same in there. I'm always the same knight, the same man, the same wraith. The same dark hand takes their Humanities away. The same dagger parries their attacks. The same Iaito takes their lives.
This is repeated many times, always changing. Sometimes I get a lot of Humanities, sometimes a few. Those days where I obtain lots of Humanities are my favorite, since I can go back home early and be with her before she goes to sleep. But don't be fooled, it's not like we never spend time together. Sometimes, she wakes me up in the middle of the night and gets on the bed with me. She keeps sleeping peacefully while I go invade others. Every once in a while, Oswald warns me about accusations. I answer by asking for atonement, so they don't need to come here. Sometimes, when I stay here, other wraiths like me come in, seeking my Humanity. But they never take it, nothing in the world will ever make me let go of it. For it I have sinned. For it I have come to Lordran. For it, hundreds of people have become Hollowed now. But it's never enough, I never finish healing her. Humanity slips quickly through her, madness consuming her small body with a ominous speed. So I hunt, for her to never face that fate.
How long has passed since everything started? How long has passed since we got the horrible news that she was tainted by the Darksign? How long did I plan to get her out of the Asylum? How many Hollows did I face in order to escape from there? How much time did I spend in other worlds, collecting Humanities for her?
I'm not marked by the Darksign. I'm still alive. I don't need those Humanities, I wouldn't care about them at all if it weren't for her. She's too weak to obtain them by herself. When she's human, she's vulnerable to invaders like me... But I'm lucky that her soul is so weak that I'm always able to protect her, in some way or another. And even if I'm not, I have that summoning sign... Yes... Him, the Knight of Thorns.
Kirk, I remember that name, because he's the only one who understands me. We both fight for someone else's sake, we're both here fighting for Humanities, but now for our own good, but for that girl we wish to protect with all our might. Our duel, I don't remember how it started, but I remember that it ended in a draw. None of us could beat the other, so I decided, for the first time, to talk with my opponent. I told him I only wanted the Humanity, and that I would leave if he gave me at least one. He answered that he was looking for the same, so no deal could be done. We started to talk, and upon revealing that our intentions were the same, we agreeded to summon each other whenever needed, and share the Humanities after. We saluted each other and continued with our lives.
I called Kirk for the first time when I found out that someone in the Gravelord Covenant had infested my world. I was protecting her with all of my might, so I couldn't go after the invader. And then I remembered him, and with our minds in synchrony, I brought him to my world. Out combined strength was more than enough to end the invasion. And thanks to Kirk, I can keep living peacefully with her.
When I'm hunting other people, I can never put her image out of my mind. When I'm tired, worn out, wounded or strengthless, I remember that she's the reason why I started all of this, the reason why I came to Lordran. I remind myself that everything I do, I do it for her, because she's everything to me. She's the only thing I have left in this world, she's the only bit of hapiness I can hold on to. She's the only thing that reminds me that I'm not dead yet, even if she has died long ago. I wonder how much more I will last without this curse, but I remember that if I ever adquire it, I'll need even more Humanities. I put that thought aside, and keep fighting for her.
Today I gathered an absurd amout of Humanity, so I invited Kirk over to hang around. I summoned him to my world and we had dinner together, I introduced him to her and they seem to get along, which is good. I'm pretty sure Kirk and I will be good mates in the upcoming days. At night, when she's about to go to sleep, Kirk takes me to his world so I can meet his protégé. When I see her, I find myself in front of a woman joined to a giant spider from the waist down. Her appearance, despite being strange at first, irradiates the same aura of fragility that my sister has. I can't look at the woman for too long, looks exactly like her when I found her in the Asylum. Kirk and I stay for a while longer chatting, then I give him a pair of Humanities so he knows I want to help as well. He wishes me luck and I return to my home, with her. We lay together in bed and fall asleep.
A strange noise wakes me up. Someone knocks on my house door. When I open it, a blade pierces my stomach. I see a Darkmoon soldier in front of me. He caught me without my weapons or armor, but I'm still willing to fight. Without bothering to take his sword out of my body, I reach out to him and strangle him. I'm taller and bigger than him, so he's unable to defend himself from my unusual attack, desperately hitting my arms. Seeing that the strangling takes too long, I apply some more pressure and snap his neck. His body fades soon, along with his sword, but my wound is still there. I feel my body becoming weaker, my vision darkening. Before everything goes black, I hear her running to me and screaming my name. I try to say hers, but no words come from my mouth. Finally, everything goes silent, and only darkness remains around me.
I feel a strange warmth around me, as if I was laying by the fire. As much as I try, I'm unable to open my eyes, or emitting a single sound. A soft hand runs across my face, gently stroking my factions. Then, the hand rests on my cheek and another hand sums up, on the opposite cheek. A strange feeling courses my body, and I open my eyes again. I see her, in front of me, with tears in her eyes. When our eyes meet, she embraces me strongly and says my name a couple times, although it's complicated to understand her between the cries. I surround her with my arms, and notice she's trembling like a leaf. When we move apart, I look around. We're at home, with a bonfire lit on a side. The same bonfires the undead use to come back when they are "killed". I look at her and she smiles. She tells me that, when I lost my consciousness, she passed me the Darksign curse, saving me from death.
I think about getting angry at her, but I hold off. No, I can't blame her for trying to save me. What would she do if not that? Let her only family die? Putting aside the fact that she has no way of gathering Humanity, I'm the only one in our family who's still alive, who hasn't gone Hollow. I'm the only one that keeps her sane, and prevents her from going mad of loneliness. But, for me, she's the same. That's why I've been fighting for so long, and I will keep fighting. I'm undead now. I don't fear Nito, I don't fear anything. Everyone who dares to get in my way shall perish.
Kirk and I went hunting together again. We managed to obtain a huge amount of Humanities, while I explained to him the situation that led me to become an undead. After that, I speak to Oswald to seek absolution, and continue with my life. Kirk tells me that for the first time in years, an undead defeated him. It was a good fight for him, so he's planning to train himself and try to fight that undead again. But he hasn't forgotten his mission, of course. We continue hunting and go back to our homes. I lay next to her and fall asleep once more.
Many days have passed, Kirk fought against that undead again, but was defeated once more. He doesn't understand what he's doing wrong, if there's a failure in his strategies. I try to convince him that it's not his fault, that he should remain faithful to his mission and collect Humanities for Quelaan. After a while, he manages to calm down and we continue hunting. I noticehis depressed state, and I'm really worried. Back home, I tell her about Kirk's situation, and she expresses her unrest about it. She asks me if we can't go together against him, but I remind her that during the invasion, we are unable to summon one another. She seems sad, but I calm her down and we go to sleep.
Another Darkmoon soldier attacks me, but this time, I'm one step ahead. I go back to Oswald to ask for absolution, and although his voice is a friendly as ever, I notice his contempt for my situation. Finally, he tells me that the type of sin I've been commiting can only be removed when a Darkmoon soldier removes it, and that is only achieved through my death. Now that I can die more than once, I can start to "redeem" myself from my sins... But losing is not an option. I'll have as many sins on me as needed, if that means protecting her. In the end, my sins can't affect her... right?
I ask the next Darkmoon soldier if my sins affect others in my world, and he tells me that it's only me that the Covenant seeks. As a reward, I allow him to kill me once, and he leaves happily. I gather some more Humanity and go back home. I haven't had any problems with Humanity for a long time, despite having become undead myself. She's the only one who is so heavily affected by the curse. But it doesn't matter, for I will keep fighting for her.
I haven't seen Kirk in a long time, and that worries me. I try to summon him, but he doesn't answer the signal. I manage to find a breach and enter his world, guided by a trace of his spirit. I make my way to Quelaan's lair, but I can't find Kirk anywhere. I ask the pyromancer, Eingyi, if he has seen her, and he gives me a piece of news that freezes my blood. After losing for the third time against that same undead, Kirk came back depressed, wounded and on the brink of going Hollow. As he didn't wish to harm anyone, he recluded himself in a section of the lair, now sealed. I ask Eingyi to lift the seal, and he warns me that should things get out of hand, he will have no remorse in locking me there.
I find my friend in front of me... Or rather, what's left of him. He's sitting at the end of the hallway, looking at the wall. He doesn't move when I walk close to him, nor does he react when I place my hand on his shoulder, full of spikes. A whisper comes out of his lips, asking me to forgive him for failing to Quelaan. He stans up and turns to face me, looking at me. He asks me to take care of Quelaan whenever I can, and to put an end to his misery. He knows that, being Hollow, he won't be able to help Quelaan anymore. He tells me he still has some more Humanity left, but that he can't use it on himself, since it is already too late. He gives me that little Humanity and begs me to give it to his beloved, asking me to kill him again. Kirk removes his helmet, and I can see him smile short before his eyes turn completely black. In that instant, I thrust my blade into him, finishing him off quickly. And he falls to the floor, sitting with his back to the wall, smiling. Smiling because he knows that, in spite of everything, he has made the woman he loved happy, even if it was only for an instant. I give Kirk's Humanity to the frail woman, and I see her sheding some tears, calling Kirk's name between her intellegible words. A small flame flies from Kirk's corpse to the woman's hands, and she holds the flame close to her chest, smiling a little. I look at him once more and smile, thanking him from everything. However, once I back to my protégé's warmth, I let myself cry for my lost friend.
I'm not sure how much time has passed exactly. Every day seems the same now it's back to being just me and her. I go out of my way sometimes to give Humanities to Quelaan. We both understand that this is all for Kirk's wish, and she smiles when she remembers that even after dying, he's still taking care of her. Every once in a while, another Darkmoon soldier shows up in my world, looking for a fight. I, as always, send them back home with some Humanities less. I try to explain my reasons to them, but every single one is the same: they just want to kill me, get their rewards, and go home. But I don't care, not anymore. Because I will keep fighting for the girl I've sworn to protect. And if my spirit ever decays, I will remind myself of who I am. I'm her loyal knight, and I won't let anything or anyone get on my way to make her happy. I will never look back, or doubt of my mission.
Because I still have hopes that, one day, I will free her from this curse.
