I'll stop or start my heart if you ask me to—

Rain. It was the first thing I ever saw.

I remember that day, when truths unraveled, secrets were revealed, and all the cloudy questions that had hung low over my head became clear. But before that, there was rain.

When I opened my eyes, a gloomy, heavy sky loomed over me. I called out to the vast grey bowl overhead, but no answer came. It never had. At least, not then. And not long after, those heavy lids closed again and the world became black.

[heartbeat . of . the . rain]

"Stay inside the nursery."

It was the first thing I was told at dawn and the last thing before a violet-black night blanketed the sky. I was allowed—encouraged, even—to play inside with the other kits, but as always, I could never step out without permission. Without some cat telling me it was okay. Telling me where to put my paws.

Telling me what path I should choose.

And the others, they were happy. I had watched them play with balls of moss or small pieces of fresh-kill, and those little objects had entertained them so much.

I was never part of their games.

Many times I stared wistfully at the outside world, sitting at the entrance, leaning against the large stones making up the den's entrance. No matter what the weather was, I'd gaze at the bright, warm sunshine, the dark and heavy clouds as they hung from the sky, the rain as it pelted onto the earth. The sun, the moon, the sky, the stars, and the lush greenleaf leaves as they whispered in the crisp night breeze.

"Come inside, Leafkit," was what was said to me every time.

That voice I heard was assertive. It was "for my own good", but the tone was cold. She thought I couldn't detect it, because I was just a kit, just a young, immature, inexperienced kit. But I could, and I knew it was chilly and distant.

I turned to see the familiar ginger-and-brown tabby pelt. The same blazing orange orbs. The same stern stare of disapproval.

My soft leaf-green eyes reflected the rain outside as it fell gently to the ground in a steady, rhythmic motion. I turned to face her.

"But I like to look outside," I answered simply and expressionlessly, neither coldness nor anger in my tone. The full moon scattered dim moonlight through the ThunderClan territory of thick forests.

"Why would you want to when you can play with your brothers and sisters?" she asked, her tone softening into a hushed whisper as she approached me.

She may be my mother, but I wouldn't believe it. Not from the moment I was born.

"Their games don't interest me," I replied solemnly. My gaze was cast down on my paws now, but she was standing behind me and didn't notice. The slight crack in my voice too.

I expected a comeback like always. Some retort about the fact that I need to be more social, to interact with others, to stop acting like a loner or rogue. But all I heard was a long sigh, dragging on, from behind my back. Silence was like all the stars in the night suddenly froze and stopped shining to listen to what we would say.

Finally, she spoke.

"You are one of a kind, Leafkit," she murmured. I flattened my ears and a noticeable growl was starting to rumble in the deep part of my throat. She paused for a moment.

"But why is it that what others do never interest you?"

I clenched my teeth and narrowed my eyes at the ground, my back still facing her as she stepped nearer to me.

"Others don't matter with what I do."

She seemed unconvinced and her sunset-orange eyes narrowed more. "We're a clan, Leafkit. We look out for each other, help each other, support one another. That's what it means to be part of a clan. Not being distant and uninvolved in everything."

The growl I'd been trying to hold in was let out. Accidentally or not, I may never know. I spun around in a heartbeat, fur fluffed up to make me look bigger than I actually was.

"I didn't choose to be part of this clan!" I hissed before any rational thoughts could make their way into my mind. It might've been a mistake. At the time, it was.

I could see her eyes widen in warning. I ignored it.

"'You have to stay inside the den', 'you have to play with the others', you have to do this, you have to do that," I blurted out before thinking, my tone high. All the other queens and kits in the nursing den had turned to stare at me and my mother, but I didn't care. Not at that moment.

"You don't control my life! I can do what I want!" I shouted, my voice rising angrily. The other cats' eyes widened visibly. "I don't care what the code says, I care what I say! If it's really my choice, why is what I do strictly based on a set of rules?"

The she-cat that stood in front of me gasped, her eyes horrified. Then she snarled, and it was all directed at me.

"You're just a kit, Leafkit! You don't understand everything, you know!" she growled at me, not able to contain her anger any longer. "I've lived longer than you, I know more than you, and it's not your time to decide some things yet!"

I could only bare my small, rounded fangs right then and watch helplessly as she turned away coldly and went to tend to my littermates. How the spark in her eyes grew to a burning forest fire, how it died away the next second, and how the other cats watching all muttered to themselves in quiet conversation, scattering away to do their own thing again. Like what happened never happened.

And I could feel my eyes burning with hot tears at the rim, threatening to fall, but they didn't as I struggled to hold them back. I denied why, but in my heart, I knew. Threatening to fall, because I knew that what she said…

…Wasn't entirely false.

[heartbeat . of . the . rain]

I noticed the way they passed me by.

If they saw another cat by himself or herself in a corner, gaze distant with sadness and longing, they'd immediately walk over to comfort them or talk to them, sensing something was wrong.

That was never the case with me. They didn't approach me, not exactly because they couldn't, but because I wouldn't let them.

As I gazed up, the sky above me was a dismal dark grey, the ominous clouds filled with rain. They were trying to hold on, I could feel it, but at last they couldn't hold on any longer, and the rainfall occured when they let go.

For once, the rain was bothering me.

I glanced to the nursery, reflected in my eyes was a vacant, meaningless place of what I once called home. And it was all I knew. Now, it was quite empty. My mother returned to serving ThunderClan as a warrior and my littermates became apprentices like me. They acted like I was just another cat in the forest. Maybe even less than that.

Leafpaw.

The name sounded so foreign on my tongue.

"Leafpaw, you're scheduled for a hunting patrol," a deep voice that sounded some tail-lengths behind me called. "We're going with Sandtail and Dapplestream, along with her apprentice Fleckpaw."

Leafpaw, Leafpaw, Leafpaw… I repeated over and over in my mind. Is that it? My name is my status, my place, my rank, and it limits me to what I can do. A name is everything here.

"Yes, Duskshadow." I nodded at the silver-and-black older tom. My mentor.

Fleckpaw… He barely remembers me.

I padded toward him, and we walked, side-by-side, in the direction of the other three, who were waiting by the trees. I walked beside him, but I was conscious I was careful not to let our flanks brush. It felt uncomfortable. Wrong, even.

"Hello, Sandtail, Dapplestream," Duskshadow mewed to the she-cats joining us. He glanced down at a cream-colored tom with beige fleckes. He nodded in greeting. "Fleckpaw."

Fleckpaw gave a faint smile and nodded back. I looked at his bright amber eyes, his sleek pelt, how much he looked like his—our—mother, and suddenly caught myself thinking of her.

She never cared about me. I was just a rainy day. A rainy day which every cat hated, waiting for tomorrow when the sunshine would seep through the clouds.

"Leafpaw," a familiar voice called. I snapped out of my thoughts and glanced up to see my mentor's face, his dark blue eyes looking intently at me. "Did you hear what I said?"

I shuffled my paws, my eyes narrowed. My voice was barely a whisper. "No."

I could hear him sigh, even though I wasn't directly looking at him now. He swept his tail across the ground, sweeping up some dried leaves as he did.

"Just pay more attention next time, Leafpaw," he said to me. "Please."

I gave a faint nod, hoping it was enough. Inside, I might've been lying.

"I will."

"We're going to hunting near the ShadowClan border," Dapplestream cut in and explained, perhaps feeling a drop of sympathy for me. Probably not. "We're splitting up too. Me and Fleckpaw, you and Duskshadow, and Sandtail will hunt alone."

I nodded again.

"Alright, let's go."

We padded through the forest in silence. Even the birds fell quiet to let us through. Soon, the unfamiliar, strange scent of ShadowClan cats wafted through the air and entered my nostrils. I wrinkled my nose and I noticed Fleckpaw did too, wondering how the warriors could bear the repulsing smell.

"This is the place," Sandtail announced, and we all halted. "We'll be splitting up now."

Me and Duskshadow were the ones closest to the border. I could sense the markings were fresh and the smell very powerful as I searched for prey in the undergrowth.

Duskshadow tasted the air, ears erect and nose lifted to the sky. When no birds were present, he lowered his muzzle to the ground, searching for prey like mice and squirrels on the forest floor. My ears suddenly pricked up as a rustle in the bushes sounded. Duskshadow's eyes flashed to that spot as swiftly as I had sensed it.

"It's a squirrel," the warrior murmured mostly to himself before the brown-furred, bushy-tailed small creature had even come out, probably distinguishing by scent. He looked over to me and noticed I was also focused on the animal.

"You can have this one," he said, shooting me a slight, lopsided grin. I nodded in understanding, and watched him trot off to another area, searching for more prey as he left the squirrel to me.

It was scurrying along the ground, tail held high, making the colorful leaves fly as it ran. I narrowed my eyes until they were just leaf-green slits, inching forward, pressing my body close to the ground, but not so close that I'd disturb any leaves and give myself away. However, this proved quite hard in the leaf-fall surroundings.

Suddenly, the squirrel froze, its ears perked up and its dark, bright, round eyes stared at me—or possibly, straight through me. Then, as my paw accidentally moved a leaf, it bolted.

I gave chase.

My paws barely touched the ground. I felt like I was flying above a land ablaze with color, the golden and red leaves floating down through the air. I didn't even care that they were blocking my vision a bit. It felt amazing to run like nothing mattered right then.

The prey was heading for a high boulder, and I knew this was it. I would trap it and kill it right there. What I wasn't expecting was a dark grey shape dropping down from the sky and landing in front of me, right where the squirrel was heading.

"What in Silverpelt!" I exclaimed, first surprised, then felt the anger starting to boil inside me. I had lost the squirrel, and the last shadows of it were fading as my catch streaked away.

The intruder stood up and brushed himself off. It was a young dark grey tabby, perhaps around the same age as me. His fluffy, ringed tail, the nicked ear, and those deep blue eyes. I captured every detail in that moment, before Duskshadow interrupted.

"Who are you?" he demanded, the beginnings of a growl noticeable in his tone.

"The name's Stormpaw," he introduced, his voice still light and playful. I hissed, although that aggressive behavior was only a mask.

"Well, you're on ThunderClan territory, Stormpaw," Duskshadow spoke sternly, his silver-and-black ringed tail sweeping back and forth impatiently.

"No, this is ShadowClan land," he tried to reason. "I was trying to catch a squirrel."

"ShadowClan land is a few fox-lengths back," my mentor continued. I remained silent, but my body language told enough. "This is ThunderClan ground. And that squirrel was our kill."

"No, it was—"

The young tomcat's ears pricked up in an instant. I could tell he still wanted to prove he was right. His blue eyes widened in a flash and he glanced back, noticing that we were actually correct. Giving a small, apologetic smile and stepping back, ears drooping, he backed off.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry, I didn't realize that."

"That's okay," Duskshadow mewed. I glanced at him in surprise. His tone had softened a bit. "Just be more careful next time."

The ShadowClan apprentice Stormpaw nodded quickly and scampered away before we could say anything else.

I growled and muttered under my breath, "He cost me that prey."

Beside me, Duskshadow chuckled. "Next time, Leafpaw." He paused for a moment before continuing, making a thinking expression. "You're a great hunter. Where'd you learn all those techniques? I don't remember me teaching you them."

I hesitated for a heartbeat before replying, "I teach myself by experimenting and watching others."

"Hmm, I've never seen you do that before," the warrior tom said as he padded away, me trailing a bit behind him.

We were going to meet up with the others, and for the rest of the way, I walked in silence, but I figured these would be the last words I say before tomorrow, anyway.

"Maybe you just don't notice."

[heartbeat . of . the . rain]

A moon had passed, and the Gathering was soon.

There was a chance I would be chosen to go. It was supposed to be a time of peace under the full moon. I didn't want to see tension between the clans. Not anymore. And all I was praying for was a clear night that day of the Gathering. No rain, no clouds to block the stars, and a bright, shining moon in full view.

My wish was granted. Both of them.

Some other cats flanked me as we made the journey to the Gathering place that night. The stars twinkled above us and the night air was crisp as we made our way across the giant log, careful not to slip and fall, and onto the island where the Gathering was held.

As ThunderClan made their way into the large clearing, our leader Blazestar in front, we saw that the other three clans had already arrived. WindClan and RiverClan were calmly talking and sitting by each other, while ShadowClan were more distant from the others. Even though only some were chosen from each clan, it still felt quite overwhelming.

"There sure are a lot of cats here," a zestful voice beside me said. I turned to see a familiar brown-and-white tabby she-cat beside me.

"I never expected it to be this much, Aspenpaw," I said, still glancing around nervously.

"Me too," she replied, though her dark eyes shining and her tone excited. "I want to go meet cats from other clans! Later, Leafpaw!" And with that, she bounded away into the large crowds, just a dissolving shape amidst a thousand others.

"Bye."

I was about to take a seat beside one of my clanmates as I noticed the four leaders making their way onto the high boulder jutting out of the ground in the center. They were murmuring and talking to one another casually before officially quieting down the four clans and sharing news. The deputies could be seen seated under the rock, and the four medicine cats—and their apprentices, if any—were also visible.

"Hi!"

I spun around in an instant. That voice, it was familiar, but at the same time, hard to pinpoint where I've heard it before.

"You're…" I trailed off, racking my brain for answers. It greeted me like a blank, pitch-black, empty sea of night.

"Stormpaw." He smiled sheepishly, his dark tabby pelt and deep blue eyes just how I remembered them from a moon ago. "My name is Stormpaw."

I gave a slightly nod. "Right."

He laughed apologetically. "Sorry about a moon ago, by the way. I just wanted to apologize for it," he said cheerfully, the smile still present on his face. I shrugged it off. "Anyway, what's your name?"

I suddenly felt defensive like I always did, but remembering the truce, I figured I would at least leave a decent impression on the ShadowClan tom.

"Leafpaw," I answered.

"Leafpaw…" he murmured. I stared at him in confusion as he circled around me, his gaze burning into my tortoiseshell-and-white pelt. He finally stopped and halted, sitting directly in front of me, his dark sapphire eyes colliding with my emerald.

Then he grinned.

"That's a pretty name."

My mouth opened, but no sound came out. I quickly closed my jaw and tried again, but it came out as a stuttered, hushed, low whisper.

"Th-thank you."

He chuckled lightly. "What, are you not used to being complimented?"

I knew he meant it as a joke, but my mouth suddenly formed into a tight, straight line, and I cast my eyes down at the ground.

"Leafpaw, I just meant that as a—"

"I am, actually," I cut in.

His eyes suddenly became somewhat concerned. Or maybe it was my mind distorting with reality again, and that hint of concern wasn't really there.

"What do you—" he started.

But before anything else could happen, we heard a loud, clear voice ringing down from the high boulder, and every cat on the island immediately fell silent.

"That's Breezestar," Stormpaw whispered in my ear, leaning over to me. He gestured to the light grey tom. "He's the WindClan leader."

"Thank you," Blazestar, our leader, spoke and nodded. His golden pelt burned in the night, his bright yellow eyes piercing the darkness. I looked down at my paws, figuring I was only invisible among the hundreds of thousands of other stars around me, shining brighter than me.

"Breezestar will go first," he mewed, backing away for the WindClan leader to speak.

"Thank you, Blazestar." Breezestar stepped up, his grey pelt shining under the full moon. "It has been well for WindClan. We've loaded up our supply on prey for the upcoming leaf-bare. Hares and rabbits and birds are plentiful, and it has been pretty peaceful." He stepped back and nodded to a ginger-and-white she-cat to speak.

"That's Featherstar, leader of RiverClan," I heard Stormpaw's whisper in my ear again.

"It's mostly well for RiverClan too," Featherstar announced to the listening cats. "We are also stocking up for leaf-bare. Prey hasn't been a problem, but we did lose one of our elders and a kit from some sickness." Murmurs rippled throughout the crowds. "Greyclaw and Creekkit were their names, and they will definitely both be remembered."

Many nods were seen from the part where RiverClan sat, and noises of sorrow and grief sounded from their area as well.

"That is all," Featherstar concluded and stepped back, indicating for Blazestar to report next.

"Prey is not as plentiful as it was before, but we are able to keep our whole clan well-fed, and that is enough," Blazestar spoke. "There have been two new apprentices—Larkpaw and Blizzardpaw."

I listened as cheers were heard throughout the crowd. A young white tom was seen to be congratulated. That was Blizzardpaw, but Larkpaw wasn't chosen as one of the cats to attend the Gathering.

Blazestar continued, "There have been some damages to a few of the dens because of a large storm, but we're doing fine overall." He cast a glance down in the crowd, and it took me a few seconds to realize he was staring at me.

Why would he be…

No. Not me.

Stormpaw.

I looked over at the grey tabby sitting beside me. His blue eyes were widened and he looked a bit nervous, but Blazestar simply dipped his head and stepped away, making that an ending to his speech. I could hear Stormpaw let out a small sigh of relief.

The last leader to speak was ShadowClan's. He was a large golden-and-brown tom with a scarred pelt and blazing orange eyes. From a few voices in the crowds, I figured his name was Duskstar.

"Like the other three clans, prey isn't a problem," Duskstar reported, his voice cold in an unsettling way that sent chills down my spine. Stormpaw looked up at his leader expressionlessly, and I couldn't figure out his thoughts right then. "However, sadly, we have lost two elders, and a queen named Mapledawn when she was giving birth."

Calls of grief and sorrow rang from ShadowClan, and out of instinct, I looked over at Stormpaw. His eyes were dark as he stared at the ground, his paws shuffling uncomfortably, his teeth clenched tightly.

"Was Mapledawn… your mother?" I blurted out before I could think. I realized it wasn't a polite question to ask a second later.

"No, not my real mother," Stormpaw answered. "But my adoptive one. I've never met my real parents."

I whispered, "I'm sorry." No answer came, only the distant whispering of the leaf-fall leaves. Two orange eyes suddenly flashed before my eyes.

Maybe I took her for granted. Maybe, but I doubted it.

"But," Duskstar continued, his voice turning into a growl now, "we have sensed ThunderClan cats on our territory not so long ago."

My eyes widened and my ears flattened. I growled, and many more snarls, hisses, growls and calls of disapproval sounded from where ThunderClan was seated.

"That isn't true at all." I bared my fangs, green eyes narrowing.

"That did not happen!" a loud yell came from a ThunderClan cat. "You filthy liar, Duskstar!"

More shouts of approval and agreement ensued.

Blazestar's eyes narrowed, glaring at the ShadowClan leader, and Duskstar lashed his tail angrily.

"It's true! We've found their scents on our side of the border," Duskstar retorted, snarling. "I am not lying!"

"No, ThunderClan has not crossed the border," Blazestar growled in warning. "Maybe it is vice-versa, and you ought to inspect the behavior of your own clan."

Stormpaw stiffened.

"How dare you question my warriors!" Duskstar hissed, eyes glowing threateningly.

I shifted uncomfortably. Beside me, Stormpaw muttered, "Oh, no. Not now."

I gazed up at the sky. Clouds were scattering over the moon and stars, covering them in a foggy grey and silver blanket.

StarClan… They're not liking this one bit.

"This is supposed to be a time of truce!" a medicine cat warned the leaders. He had noticed the same thing I did. "Look, the clouds are covering the moon and stars. StarClan is not pleased."

The angry yowls and hisses receded.

"You're right," Blazestar broke the silence, sweeping his golden tail from side to side. "We shouldn't be arguing."

Breezestar nodded and Featherpaw shifted uncomfortably. Duskstar merely remained silent, but didn't give any motion of agreeing to their words.

"This Gathering is officially at an end," Breezestar stepped up and announced clearly.

The cats started getting up and following their leaders to make the trip back to their own clans. I did as well.

Before I could, though, someone stopped me.

"Leafpaw, wait!"

"Stormpaw?" I turned around.

"Leafpaw, can I… meet you again?" he asked, somewhat hesitant but confidence rising in his voice later.

My eyes must've widened in surprise immediately, because Stormpaw started mumbling and saying it was a bad idea.

"Oh, what am I saying… You don't have to agree, I was just thinking—"

"I will."

He looked up from his paws, his turn to be surprised now.

"You will?" he asked, and then grinning widely. "Really?"

"I guess," I murmured softly, not entirely sure of what I was saying, or what it'll lead to. I took a deep breath. "Yes."

"Thank you." Stormpaw smiled.

I saw that my clanmates were already walking far. I was tempted to run away, but he needed an answer.

"But where?" I asked hurriedly. "And when?"

"Tomorrow at moonhigh," he answered surely. "Meet me at the border between our two clans. The same place where I accidentally stepped onto your territory while trying to chase that squirrel." He chuckled lightly.

I nodded in understanding.

"See you!" he called happily as he walked away, giving me a last wave with his dark grey tail.

I lowered my head as I watched him pad away, disappearing into the darkness of the tall trees. I bounded away to trail behind the leaving ThunderClan cats, occasionally looking back, hoping to catch another glance.

"See you."

[heartbeat . of . the . rain]

I remember our secret walks and talks at moonhigh. I remember how hesitant we were at first, but the awkward, quiet atmosphere quickly shifted into a joyful, laugh-filled one after a few meetings. We talked, we joked, and we teased, just like we were best friends. Just like we have been forever. But we weren't, and I pretended. I could tell he did too.

But pretending was enough at that time.

Sneaking out wasn't the hardest part, but it wasn't a breeze either. Guards in the night made it difficult for me to slip out of camp without notice. Sometimes I managed to, when they were distracted. Other times, I needed to lie.

The forest in the night looked different. I knew every crack, every stone, every mark in my path because of my secret explorations, but the faint moonlight and dark surroundings gave a different, silvery glow to the whole place.

I thought it looked beautiful.

He wasn't any more confident than me, but we still became fast friends. He knew all my secrets, and I knew his. I knew that his favorite color was soft green, "the color of my eyes," he had said. I knew he was an orphan and never met his parents, but his adoptive mother had loved him like he was her own. He knew that I was never truly part of my clan, but I wasn't upset that way. He knew that I liked to watch the rain because I imagined the sky crying tears just to fall closer to the earth. He knew that I liked scaevola flowers best because a field of them looked like an array of soft violet butterflies.

Our confidence was building up by each private meeting we had in the nighttime. We went farther, stayed longer, played harder, and laughed louder. We thought we could get away with it. All that it was is an innocent, happy friendship.

…Right?

On the seventh night, the moonhigh stars were held high in the clear night sky, and a refreshing, cool breeze ruffled my fur. Strolling by a calm stream and watching the stars reflected on the silvery-blue surface, I suddenly saw a dark grey figure's reflection appear beside mine.

I immediately knew who it was.

"Hi, Stormpaw," I greeted, looking up at his deep blue eyes, gleaming in the moonshine.

"Hey."

He grinned and padded nearer, us brushing flanks as we padded through the thick forest, maneuvering easily amongst the tall trees in a comfortable, relaxing quietness, heading farther from both the ThunderClan and ShadowClan camps. We laughed and chatted casually like always, talking about whatever subject that came to us. But a heavy silence eventually fell upon both of us as we ran out of words to say.

It never happened before.

"Leafpaw," he suddenly spoke after I thought neither one of us would start the conversation. I gave a silent thanks. He continued, his voice more serious, "I've been thinking recently and we both know… We both know this can't go on forever."

My eyes widened.

"What do you mean? We're just good friends," I mewed. "There's nothing wrong with that."

He sighed, his pace slowing down until he finally came to a halt. I stopped as well.

"I know, but…" he trailed off. He took a deep breath and resumed, this time, looking directly into my eyes, "But we can't keep meeting like this forever, and you know it. It's against the code, and sooner or later, some cat will find out. We'll be in trouble and nothing's going to end happily, for both of us."

My mouth was left agape, because I was trying to find something, anything, that I could retort back with. But all that was left was an unsettling silence, because we both knew he was right.

"But you're fun to talk with," I tried to cheer him up. Or maybe, I was actually trying to cheer myself up more. "You're a great friend, Stormpaw. The only friend I've ever had, really." I gazed down at the leaf-fall leaf-covered ground. "I'm invisible in my clan, and I've been fine with it until now. But I can't lose you. Not now."

Stormpaw wanted to say something joyful. I could tell. But like me, he couldn't find anything at the moment.

"You're a great friend too." He offered a faint smile, but it vanished as quickly as I'd seen it spread onto his face. "But you know what we're doing is wrong, even for friends. And ThunderClan and ShadowClan aren't exactly getting along well recently. Duskstar is still confident in his words."

"And Blazestar won't retreat until he's told he's right," I filled in the blanks. Stormpaw nodded silently and I sighed. "Sometimes, what's wrong… just feels right."

"What if another battle breaks out?" Stormpaw's voice was rising now. I didn't blame him. "I can sense the hostility between your clan and my clan right now. Even on border patrols, if we happen to see each other, I swear to StarClan a fight is going to break out any moment."

"But even if there's a battle, I'm sure we—" I tried to comfort him. Myself.

"Will be forced to fight each other?" His gaze was firm and I looked down in defeat.

"You don't know that'll happen," I mumbled, no strength at all in my words.

"But what if it does?" Stormpaw started circling around me, his tail flicking nervously in thought. "Apprentices are required to fight, and even though we're friends, I know we're both still loyal to our clan."

I wasn't so sure. Was my clan more important? Or our friendship?

"Maybe we should stop," he murmured, almost inaudible, but I caught it in shock.

"You're not serious, are you?" I whispered. No, please say no… Laugh it off like you always do… Please…

His lips formed a tight, straight line. He shifted uncomfortably and looked up to meet my gaze.

"I am."

I felt sadness, guilt, regret, anger, everything boiling up inside of me. It was mostly regret and anger, however.

"You… I… How could you…" I was spluttering out words by then.

"Leafpaw, I really wish we could, but we just have to think about what's better for both of—" Stormpaw began, but I cut him off hastily.

"No!" I growled, backing away a few steps. "You were the one who started this! By every meeting that's passed, we've grown closer, which is just going to make parting more painful. Is that what you wanted?" I wasn't going to admit it, but I was on the verge of tears. My voice cracked.

"No, Leafpaw," he soothed, nearing me, but I backed away more. He stopped. "Of course not, I—"

"Do you even care about me at all?" I asked, choking. "Do you care about how I feel? What I think about this?"

"Leafpaw, I really do, I just…" He gazed down. I could almost see a spark of sadness, but it disappeared as I caught it.

"You just what?" I hissed. My paws told me to flee, but my brain told me to wait a bit longer. I didn't know who to listen to.

"Of course I care about you," Stormpaw mewed softly, his voice almost a whisper. There was guilt laced in his tone. It was evident now. "I care about you more than anything, Leafpaw."

"Well, maybe you do," I growled, my voice cold as ice. "But I don't see it."

Then I turned and fled, and he didn't even bother calling after me. The only thing I could hear was the pounding of my paws against the dead, frozen earth, and the loud, fast-paced drumming of my heart.

The air I breathed out turned to ice, and I wanted to vanish. Vanish into the mist and the forest forever.

You promised me, Stormpaw! You promised we would be friends forever.

Stormpaw was left standing alone, surrounded by the eerie silence of the forest. He dropped his gaze and padded quietly, sulking, back to the ShadowClan camp.

If only you knew letting that promise go broke everything for me.

[heartbeat . of . the . rain]

It was raining hard on the day of my warrior ceremony.

Sunhigh it was, but the warm sunshine was nowhere in sight, hidden by all the dark, gloomy, rain-filled clouds, covered by the drenched midday sky. It was only a chain of unfortunate events, and amidst the rain, I suddenly remembered Stormpaw.

It was a half a moon ago, but that night was clear as day in my mind. Hot tears stung my eyes and rolled down my cheek, flying into the night air, falling down as ice. The leaves were falling and the branches bare as bone. Leaf-bare was approaching.

A loud voice suddenly rang across the clearing.

"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here for a meeting!"

Blazestar. It was my warrior ceremony. A moment all young cats wait for eagerly and impatiently throughout their apprenticed lives. A moment that couldn't matter less to me right now.

I tried to focus on my duties and serving the clan better, but I couldn't concentrate on anything.

Two soft orange eyes followed me as I stepped beneath the Highrock in wait for Blazestar to call me. The other apprentices did as well. I glanced back.

Mother…

Or maybe her gaze was on them and not me.

A large crowd of cats had already settled beneath the tall boulder. The leader stepped up, his fiery golden pelt blazing like an ignited flame, even in the poor weather. His eyes glinted with excitement, even though his pelt was soaked.

I tried to do the same.

He began, "I, Blazestar, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on these apprentices. They have trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code and I commend them to you as warriors in their turn. Fleckpaw."

The flecked apprentice tom joined the leader on the Highrock, standing beside him with his head held high.

Blazestar continued, "Fleckpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect the clan, even at the cost of your life?"

Fleckpaw's voice was clear and strong as he replied, "I do."

Blazestar gave a faint smile. "Then by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Fleckpaw, from this moment on, you will be known as Fleckwhisker. StarClan honors your honesty and bravery, and we welcome you as a full warrior of ThunderClan."

As the other three apprentices also received their warrior names—Pinepaw, Snowpaw and Lakepaw as Pinefrost, Snowsong and Lakeshore—the crowd cheered their names in chanting. I was the last.

"Leafpaw," Blazestar called. I told myself to remain on the present, not dwell in the past. I walked up to stand at his side.

"Leafpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect the clan, even at the cost of your life?" the leader asked, his tone firm and his gaze intent.

I do. That's all it takes, I told myself. The day I've been waiting for.

"I…"

But I didn't have the chance to finish my sentence, because a light brown-furred warrior suddenly burst into the camp, wide-eyed with panic, fur bushed up.

The crowd turned to stare at her, ears pricked up for what she had to say.

It was the last thing anyone expected at this moment, and I could only stare, frozen, blood cold like everyone else as I heard the shrill scream finally come out of her mouth.

"ShadowClan is attacking!"

ShadowClan…

Blood was rushing to my ears, my vision starting to go blurry with the rain. My paws were numb with the cold, my pelt stained with rain, the only thing I could hear was my heartbeat, the piercing yowls and shrieks of cats—both our warriors and intruders—and the rain as it continued to fall. Glinting claws and fangs and gleaming narrowed eyes shone through the dull grey atmosphere as thunder and shadows clashed and collided.

ShadowClan… ShadowClan…

I couldn't wrap my mind around everything that was happening. It was too much. A fainting feeling suddenly swept over me, but I struggled to hold on. To stand up. Because through the chaos—yowling and the scent of fresh blood, crimson being splattered everywhere—I saw two deep sapphire eyes staring at me.

Stormpaw?

Before I could see more, though, and figure out what was suddenly happening, a large white tom from the opponent's clan flung himself at me.

I was an apprentice by name, but by skill and strength, I was a warrior just like anyone else.

Sharp claws unsheathed, I raked a long, deep scratch across his flank with a blood-curdling yowl. He grabbed me by the neck with his fangs, his teeth almost sinking into my throat before I quickly slipped out of his grasp. Claws flying, we fought. He was much larger than me, and undeniably, much stronger too. Finally, he pinned me down. I thrashed in his hold. His big paws were pressing down on my throat and I was choking, my vision going white.

Is this the end?

All of a sudden, a lithe ginger-and-brown figure, as fast as lightning, knocked the large ShadowClan tom away from me and I stood up quickly, regaining balance. My eyes widened.

"Thank you… Mother," I managed.

She nodded back with a faint smile, and I fled as fast and far as my paws could take me through the slippery, muddy ground in the rain.

That was when I saw him, just a dark blur in the distance.

Stormpaw was struggling against a larger tom with a striped pelt. I recognized the black-and-silver tom as my mentor, Duskshadow. He was already inflicting deep wounds and gashes on his body and Stormpaw was trying to fight back, but Stormpaw was failing miserably.

"Stormpaw!"

The shriek echoed through the air, through the rain, through the clouds. It was just another breeze by my ear, until I finally realized, that scream had come from me.

I bit back tears. Duskshadow was my own clanmate, a warrior of ThunderClan, my mentor, and yet… what was Stormpaw to me?

Without thinking, I bolted over and knocked the black-and-silver tabby away from Stormpaw. Duskshadow, in a daze, didn't recognize who I was, and luckily for Stormpaw and me, was caught in a fight with another ShadowClan warrior.

I helped him up, and his eyes widened to the rim as he saw who I was, before I could run away. I wanted to run away, I wanted to forget about him. But I couldn't.

"Leafpaw?" he breathed, panting and almost falling down again because of a severely wounded leg. He squinted through the harsh downpour. "Is that you?"

I could've said no. I should've. I should've said anything but what I did.

"Y-yes," I murmured.

He fell silent for a moment, then lifted his gaze again. "You're hurt."

I almost scoffed, but judging by where we were, I held myself back.

"Me? What about you?" I growled, my voice with fake anger, just to mask the worry inside. "Look at all your wounds!"

"Don't worry," he reassured me with a smile. That warm smile, even now. It might've dimmed compared to before, but right then, I didn't care. "I'll be fine."

"I've got to go, I—" I began, running away quickly, but before I could make it to a sage place, a large figure knocked the wind straight out of me. I didn't have time to even look up at who my attacker was, before a pair of sharp claws raked my belly.

I shrieked into the grey sky, and faintly, I sworn I heard Stormpaw's voice yowling in the far distance. Yowling at… who?

A muscular golden-and-brown tom with a heavily scarred pelt appeared above me, fangs ready to rip apart my throat.

Duskstar, ShadowClan's leader.

I've heard rumors he was on his last life. But only StarClan knew if those fading echoes were true.

I remembered all the techniques and skills I've learned. I suddenly slipped out of his grasp, much to his angry shock, and swiped a paw hard at his hind leg, causing some wounds and allowing his balance to decrease. It was only a minor wound, but the opponent clan's leader was already very seriously injured, and could only withstand a few more injuries before he would lose that life.

He hooked a paw around my hind leg and threw me into the air. I spun midair, claws outstretched, baring my fangs, as I charged down at him. We battled, close combat, one trying to swipe the other. Finally, he caught me with an unanticipated deep slash across my side. I yowled in pain and gave him a hard blow back in the belly. He retreated a bit, panting and gasping for breath. Then, he started stepping back, his blazing eyes narrowed to just slits, like a claw-moon. He bared his fangs in a vicious snarl, lashing his tail.

Why is he stepping back? Is he retreating?

There was the Highrock behind him. His hind paws were almost touching the jagged boulder now. Then it hit me.

But it was too late.

He had already pushed himself off the large boulder with a mighty, sudden burst of strength and launched himself at me at lightning-speed, claws unsheathed, torn ears flattened, and his fangs—dripping with other cats' blood—were only whisker-lengths away from my throat, ready to kill.

This is definitely the end.

The pouring rain struck down on my wounded flesh like shards of ice. The wind howled and moaned, dying away.

And then, as sudden as the raid itself, a huge force knocked the wind out of me and the world went black.

[heartbeat . of . the . rain]

I opened my eyes.

All around me, there was light. Warm, almost blinding, white and golden light.

Am I in StarClan?

I blinked and slowly stood up. I felt my muscles ache and wounds sting my flesh. All of a sudden, the battle flowed back into my memory. Claws, fangs, blood pooling on the cold, hard ground. Blood-curdling cries and ear-piercing screams that echoed off the stone walls and bounced back into my ears.

There was none of that now.

Everything was calm, sunlit, like how the world was back before that war ever unfolded.

Stormpaw!

The name pushed its way into my mind.

Stormpaw… Where is he now?

Then my vision cleared and it all made sense.

Cats filled the ThunderClan clearing—cats from both our side and ShadowClan's. But it didn't matter right then. In the center, a golden-and-brown shape laid, limp and unmoving.

Is that… Duskstar?

I padded closer, edging my way through the gathered crowds. And for once, they parted for me.

Duskstar was viciously attacked, and along with his other injuries from before, he had lost his last life. The rain stopped and the clouds were parting to reveal a sparkling, warm light showering down upon the camp, swirling around Duskstar as if StarClan themselves were carrying him to their grounds.

A hush fell over the crowds. And for the first time, we wasn't cheering for our victory.

But before I noticed that, all that, from the light raining down to the storm stopping, our victory and ShadowClan's leader's death, I realized something else. Something that racked my whole body like a thousand bolts striking down on me.

If I was alive, then who had saved me?

Sweeping the crowd silent and getting a closer look, a dark grey shape laid beside the ShadowClan leader. I felt hot tears sting my eyes.

"No… No, it can't be!"

I rushed forward, through the weeping and sulking cats, and arrived before my friend. Crouching down, I noticed that his flank was still rising and falling, ever so faintly like an almost unnoticeable breeze in newleaf, but it was there. However, deep gashes and pooling blood were still there as well.

"Stormpaw…" I whispered, almost crying, leaning forward and giving him a gentle lick on the ear. "It's all a bad dream. Please, wake up."

And like he heard those words—maybe, even, maybe he really did—he blinked open those deep blue eyes again. I suddenly felt a huge wave of relief sweep over me, but a tiny linger of anxiety managed to creep in again.

"Leafpaw?" he murmured, shifting in his position. "Is that you?"

The same words he asked me in the battle. This time, my answer wasn't hesitant at all. It came out strong, like I didn't care what anyone else thought, because I truly didn't. Not right then, and possibly, not for the rest of my life.

"Yes." I smiled gently down at him. "It's me."

He gave a weak grin at me. Almost all of the other cats had looked up to stare at us. Two young "warriors" from different clans. It didn't matter.

"Is the battle over?" he whispered, trying to look around but his wounded neck didn't allow him to. He growled in frustration.

"Yes," I answered firmly, happily. "No one won."

But that little spark of happiness died away quickly when I saw that the fluctuating motion of his flank was also dying.

"Listen, Leafpaw," Stormpaw choked out, some blood still streaming from his mouth. He didn't care. He only smiled up at me, and no one dared interrupt. "You're the best friend any cat could ever have. You're funny and caring and loyal, above all else. And I bet the only reason I'm still calling you Leafpaw was that the battle interrupted your warrior ceremony." My eyes widened at how accurate he was. He only chuckled, but it turned into a cough and he continued, "And about that night, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for leaving you, and I know it hurt you, but it hurt me too, like nothing else ever has. I'm sorry for letting go back then."

My soft green eyes reflected an unexplainable sadness.

"Do you mean—" I whispered.

"The promise." Stormpaw cast his gaze down, but then met my eyes confidently a heartbeat later. "I should've held on, but I couldn't. Us both. There were boundaries then, but not now, Leafpaw."

His eyelids were closing and I held back a choking cry.

"I hope you remember me like I'll always remember you," Stormpaw mewed. His body was weak, but his voice was as strong and firm as I'd always remembered it.

"I will," I whispered, the tears flowing down now but I didn't care. "I promise."

"I'll forever be up in the stars if you need me, watching down on you." He smiled, a warm, lopsided smile that both lit up the future for me and broke everything that ever was. "And one day, I know we'll meet again."

His last breath faded and melted in with the cool, leaf-bare air, swirling up into the gold and silver clouds. I cried out, cried out like this was the last moment of my life, and pressed my muzzle into his fur.

The crowd around me lowered their heads and mourned for the losses, both for ShadowClan's leader and Stormpaw, and all the other cats who died in battle. And now they realize what a foolish battle it was, but the past cannot be erased.

His fur was cold, the last lingering warmth dying away quickly. His body was limp and lifeless, and his heartbeat was finally gone.

"I love you, Stormpaw." I nuzzled my nose into his cheek and backed away. The others gazed up at the golden heavens and looked to StarClan, while I took one last glance at the young tom and noticed something lodged behind his ear.

It was so light, soft, delicate, drifting down and landing soundlessly at the light-washed ground. So beautiful, like the last ray of light, that it took everything to keep the tears from flowing down at that moment again.

You remembered…

It was a violet-colored petal.

—I'll stop my heart and then I'll wait for you.

There you go, Silver! A total of 8667 words (heh, you only asked for 2000). Yep, it's a long one-shot. Well, much longer than what I usually write. :/ But the thing is, even though your challenge was just to make a character die and make Leafpaw grieve, I figured that wasn't enough at all. Even though a one-shot, it still needed a plot, a climax, problems, answers, everything a normal chaptered story should have. Sorry it's kinda longer than I intended, but I hope it turned out okay. And hope I pass the last test and become a warrior! :D And for the ending, if you remember a detail from the past, you'll know why I chose that as the end. If you don't remember, it'll seem a bit random. xD

Also, please review! Tell me if you liked it or not! Reviews mean a lot, and they help me improve. :)