"So, what did you want to talk about?" Lucy asks, pouring Natsu a cup of tea she knows he won't drink. It's incredibly awkward as it is and by acting unfamiliar with one another it only exacerbates the situation. But what can she do? After everything that's happened, how can Lucy pretend everything is normal when it's not?

"Come back," Natsu states gravely.

Lucy freezes and swallows the lump in her throat. Placing the teapot down, she slides the cup of tea in front of Natsu. "Come back to what?"

"The guild," Natsu answers, staring directly into Lucy's eyes.

Lucy doesn't know what to think. Ever since Yuna's death she decided to leave the guild and focus on her novel. She had it published and it's been doing pretty well, she's been making enough money to get by and still treat herself to occasional trips for herself. It's not like she's been hiding from her friends or anything; they still write each other letters and sometimes her former guild-mates would visit her.

This was Natsu's first visit. The first time Lucy has seen him in five months. Being away from him was... Difficult. She thought she would get over him and maybe she was beginning to, but seeing him right now—It's clear she hasn't forgotten about him.

"I'm sorry," is all Lucy can respond.

"Why?" Natsu pleads.

"I can't go back. I don't want to go on missions and become attached to costumers only to leave them, and them leave me," Lucy mumbles the last bit, looking away.

"We miss you," Natsu pauses before adding, "I miss you."

Lucy tenses and bites her lip. "Why didn't you come sooner?"

"I was hurt that you left. I was a wreck," Natsu confesses. "I was bitter and lonely and everyday I'd wait for you to come through the guild doors and you didn't so here I am now because I can't stand it anymore."

"I'm sorry," once again is Lucy's only response. The truth is that she was a wreck too, but there is so much more to worry about than boys. In the bigger picture, Lucy lost a dear friend and realized how much life really means. One day, Lucy will die too, and maybe if she became distant from her friends it would lessen the burden for them. Those were her thoughts during the last five months and the only thing keeping her from throwing her book over her shoulder and returning to the guild.

"I'm not leaving until you come back," Natsu warns, crossing his arms.

Lucy scoffs and gives him a small smile, "Always the stubborn one."

"You know it, so why don't you just agree with me and we can just go home and be a team again."

"Home? Natsu, you're in my home right now."

"This isn't your home; the guild is."

Lucy takes a deep breath, "Don't you know how much I would love to do that? I want to! I really do! But I'm scared. I don't know what else will happen and I don't know if I can handle that anymore. I'm not strong, I'm easily hurt and I'm tired of getting hurt!"

"But I'm here for you and I always will be! I'll be right next to you the whole time! We'll do it together. Why can't you let me do that?"

"Because it's not your battle to fight."

"Stop pushing me and everyone else away! You think that's what we want, but it's not! If you want to know what we think, ask us! And I'm letting you know right now that I want to be there for you, right next to you whenever you need."

Lucy wills her tears away and explains, "Natsu I'm so messed up. I wrote a book about how messed up I am but even if I were to write a book of one thousand pages I would never be able to list every single one of my problems. Do you really want to deal with someone like that?"

"I wouldn't want to deal with anyone else."

"I can't go back, I just can't!"

"We'll go back fresh! A new beginning! The guild is your family and we want to be there for you. Please, just let us."

Natsu reaches across the table and grips Lucy's hands. Lucy looks at Natsu and see the desperation in his eyes. They stay like this for a while, Natsu trying to will Lucy with his eyes and Lucy considering the offer.

"I may have experienced hell a hundred times but I got to live out two of my dreams. I was a member of Fairytail and I wrote a successful novel. And I even found the love of my life..." Lucy says and after a moment adds, "I'll come back."

"Really?!" Natsu grins and lets out a cheer before embracing Lucy.

The familiarity of Natsu brings an ache to Lucy's chest before it brings her the comfort of a friend. Lucy wraps her arms around his torso and grips his shirt slightly, finding herself not wanting to let go.

Natsu pulls back first and slyly tries to push his luck by asking, "Would it be too much if I asked you to come back to me too?"

"Too soon!" Lucy lightheartedly pushes Natsu away before adding, "Pervert."

"Hey, you're the pervert! Don't think I didn't notice you were tempted to take off my shirt."

Lucy rolls her eyes and laughs. A heavy weight feels as though it is leaving her chest. Natsu sighs, the sound of her laughter also takes a weight off his.

"Hey, the idiot did something right for once!" Gary comments after Natsu announces the return of Lucy.

"I'll melt your ice," Natsu threatens.

"Don't embarrass yourself," Gray retorts before the two tangle in a brawl. Lucy groans, suddenly regretting her decision.

"You know, Natsu hasn't been up for fighting since you left," Mira informs the blonde with a wink, "but you didn't hear that from me."

Lucy smiles, even though it's kind of odd, it's sweet in Natsu's special way.

"We're glad to have you back, Lucy," Erza greets as she offers Lucy a bite of her strawberry cheesecake. Lucy, surprised by the unusual gesture, takes a bite quickly before Erza can change her mind.

"So what kind of mission do you want to go on first?" Gray asks, taking a seat next to Lucy.

Natsu shoves Gray off the seat before replacing him in it. "Obviously Lucy and I will go on a mission first to warm her back up to the routine."

"I don't trust her with you, I'll take her." Gray argues after reclaiming his spot.

"Wait," Lucy says before Natsu can shove Gray off again. "I was thinking about it and... I think I just want to serve around here."

"What?!" Natsu and Gray both exclaim.

"Yeah! That way I can work at the guild and be here all the time and still have time for writing. I'll be living both my dreams. I mean, if I'm allowed to."

"That would be great!" Mira cheers, clapping her hands in excitement. "We could use a few more hands around here!"

Natsu and Gray sulk together, causing Erza to punch them both before yelling, "You idiots! Congratulate Lucy!"

Lucy giggles at the halfhearted congratulations the boys give her before they're beaten by Erza. Lucy had been gone for a long time but nothing has changed around here. The only thing that really changed was her. But change is good. It's for the better.

"So Lucy, I'm really glad you're back," Mira says, turning Lucy's attention to her. "I've been meaning to find some time to catch up with you. How have you been?"

"Uhm, well," Lucy takes a moment to think before smiling, "I feel like I'm starting a whole new chapter to my life. I mean, my past will always haunt me because I can't change it, but my past is what's leading me to the future. Does that make sense?"

"Completely," Mira nods in understanding.

Lucy shrugs, "I don't know; sometimes I feel like the Lucy from the past isn't even me. I look back and think, 'Did that really happen?' Before having to convince myself that it really did."

"That's because life goes on. Time is the best healer," Mira grins. "The only thing we can do is allow time to help heal us."

"Well time likes to work slowly," Lucy comments with a sigh, "Looking back, I feel like the biggest obstacles standing in my way to recovery was myself. My own mind was my enemy. How do you fight with your own mind and think that you can win?"

"I don't know, but sometimes it will just happen. You win without even realizing it," Mira winks at Lucy. "Now come on, let me help train you for work. It's not easy serving these folks."

Lucy nearly laughs, realizing how powerful this conversation made her feel. Mira understood every word Lucy spoke and it felt reassuring to know she wasn't alone in this battle. And really, Lucy did win her battle. But that doesn't mean she's going to give up fighting. Life is going to continue and as long as it does, Lucy will too.

A/N: Sorry for being absent for 4 months guys! I really hope in my absence you guys have still been able to talk to others around here?

It's Christmas Eve! I don't even celebrate Christmas, but here's a holiday gift. I don't know if you guys think it's too short or not good enough, but it's better than coal, right?

I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK! Help! Otherwise the story may have to end here! And there's no way I want that to happen.

Reviews are always appreciated and just know that even though I've been taking a break from fanfiction (school wth), I still check in occasionally and it warms my heart to read the things you guys write me.

I can't promise to full return at the moment, but stay with me and have faith in me because I'm never going to give up on you guys! Thank you all so much! JOIN THE FAKE SMILERS COMMUNITY!