Chapter One:

Hell

"This is all your fault, Pharaoh."

"How is any of this my fault?"

"You kind of lit Bakura's trench coat on fire."

"Don't touch Kitty's clothes. He'll murder you on the spot."

"I'm not a bloody cat, Marik!"

"You might be! You'd just never know because you don't have your own body."

"That is by far the stupidest thing that's ever come out of your mouth."

"It's a reasonable theo-"

"NO IT'S NOT!"

"All of you shut the fuck up! Please! I'm begging you!"

At Kaiba's statement everyone shut up.

What was going on, you might ask?

Well, in a twisted Burger King meeting, un-salted fries, flaming clothes, hugs, and a Shadow Game, the entire cast of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged was sent into the Shadow Realm.

Lovely stuff.

Kaiba was obviously not happy about being here. The Shadow Realm was full of girls jumping up and down as if they had to pee.

When he saw one, Marik burst out laughing.

"Aha! Hey, 'Kura, remember when you accidentally opened a portal to the Shadow Realm in the girls' bathroom? That was funny."

"Yes it was, Marik. Yes it was."

"You did that?" Yami asked, "Ra, I'd do that on purpose!"

"You know, Yami, you're kind of an asshole." Yugi said.

"I am not! I can be... Sympathetic."

"No you can't."

"I was totally sympathetic when Joey was in a life-threatening com-"

"No you weren't." Everyone said monotonously.

"Well, I definitely was when you guys got your soul taken by Baku-"

"No you weren't."

"Well, I know I was when we thought Tristan di-"

"No you weren't."

"YOU'RE AN ASSBUTT!" Tristan shouted at Yami, getting right in his face.

"I have a question." Ryou said, raising his hand, "Why does everyone have their own separate bodies?"

Silence fell across the group.

"Maybe..." Marik muttered.

"IT'S SO THE CHARACTERS ARE EASIER TO WORK WITH, GEEZ!" Téa shouted. Everyone stared at her, "Oh, like you don't write fanfiction."

"No one normal does, Téa." Yami grumbled.

"Actually, Pharaoh," Yugi said, "there are thousands, perhaps millions, of fanfictions on the Interne-"

"No." Yami interrupted, "None of that. Don't correct me. ... Bitch."

"But-"

"Nope."

Yugi huffed and crossed his arms.

They continued walking, not really sure where they were going.

"I kinda like it here." Melvin said, "So serene." -There was a scream of torture- "So.. Peaceful." -They walked past a brutally mutilated body- "Just so wonderful."

"What is wrong with you?" Ryou demanded, "You're worse than Bakura!"

"Is this a challenge I'm hearing?" Bakura asked.

"Well, no-"

"I feel as though you've challenged me, Yanushi. I'll have to do better next ti-"

"Wait, 'Yanushi'?"

"Read the manga. And, really, just fanfiction. I call you that all the time."

"But..." Marik said, confused, "Why would you call him landlo- OH!"

"Ra..." Bakura whispered in irritation.

"HI BAKURA!"

The whole cast screamed.

There was a giant blue monster standing above them.

"Jesus!" Kaiba shouted, then said, "What the fuck is that?"

"My name is Zorc!" The giant blue monster said, "And my dream is to destroy the world!"

Bakura huffed.

"Zorc, how many times to I have to tell you? You've already destroyed the world a billion times. And then you destroyed the Studio Audience one time."

"I just want to feel appreciated!" Zorc cried sadly.

"I am experiencing feels for one of the main villains of Season 5..." Téa whispered.

"It's okay, Zorc!" Marik said, "Maybe you can help me and Bakura defeat the Pharaoh!"

Zorc looked up from his hands- which were the size of a football field-, a grin on his giant face.

"Really?"

"RA, NO!" Bakura groaned, "Marik is enough!"

The two ignored him.

"Oh, yeah!" Marik said, "In fact, the Pharaoh's right there!"

He pointed to Yami.

"Oh, yay!" Zorc said, raising a foot.

Yami actually screamed.

"Not yet!" Bakura shouted, "If we want to go through with the entire series like LK plans to, then the Pharaoh needs to be alive!"

"Wow, Bakura." Yami said, smirking, "I didn't know you cared."

'"I don't give a bloody f*ck about you, Pharaoh! What I want is the bloody screentime I was promised in my contract!"

"Riiiight!"

"Oh, go to hell."

"Aren't we already in hell?" Marik asked, "Speaking in terms of this show, I mean?"

"Alright." Bakura said to Yami, "Then go wander the Shadow Realm on your own, Your Highness."

He gave an over-dramatic bow, crossing his ankles, and spreading his arms out wide.

"Maybe I will!" Yami said, "It'd be better than hanging out with you idiots!"

"But Pharaoh!" Téa said, "You'll get yourself lost in here forever!"

He just sort of stood there.

Well... That's true... But I'll be away from Téa... That's a win. So... It's a lose-win situation... That win is a good thing... Like Canada at Sochi... He. They beat everyone's ass! Speaking of asses, Melvin's got a nice one. That was gay. I'm not gay... Am I? Considering the references in Season 1, maybe I am! Oh, Ra... But... I'm not. I am like Pegasus! A true man's man!

Satisfied with his thoughts, Yami looked up.

"I guess I'll stay."

"YAY!" Téa hugged him.

"No. None of that. Get off."

"Okay!"

"Maybe we should keep going.." Ryou said quietly, "I don't like this place and I want a way out..."

"Pansy." Bakura grumbled.

"Ryou's right." Yugi said, "We should keep moving."

...

I got this idea whilst lying in bed at 3 AM, and it turned out quite well.

I got writer's block for the story I intended to use to stop my writer's block. Irony.

Also, I can't figure out how to word the next chapter.

I'M WORKING ON IT, OKAY?

Okay.

*Bursts into tears because TFiOS*