Disclaimer: Star Trek, Enterprise, and anything related to these titles, characters, and settings are owned by Paramount.

This is my take on the whole Trip/T'pol romance genre that sprang up like dandelions after one scene in one episode, when many scenes in many more episodes suggest otherwise.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING

"Leave her the hell alone!" Commander Charles "Trip" Tucker exclaimed.

The alien du jour gave the Chief Engineer a very human-looking look of disdain that was readily apparent through his mottled orange skin and wart-like bumps that covered his epidermis. He moved the muzzle of his pistol from Ensign Hoshi Sato's face and turned it toward Trip.

"Look," Tucker said, holding his hands up, palms outward in a placating gesture. "I'm sure she didn't mean to walk on your precious garden, but it doesn't look like a garden. You see, to us, it looks like somethin' else. Like a sidewalk."

"It does look like Zen garden," Hoshi said.

Tucker gave her the cutting gesture across his throat. "You're not helpin', darlin'. Look, we're sorry."

The alien scowled and gave a dismissing gesture with his weapon. Tucker took Hoshi's arm and led her from the site of what could have been an interplanetary incident. They went immediately to the waiting shuttle pod. Tucker was powering up the engines even before his butt was settled fully in the pilot seat.

"The captain'll love this report we're about to file," he remarked as he lifted the pod off the surface.

"That's why I'll let you file it," Hoshi said, readjusting herself from being spilled into her chair from Tucker's abrupt lift-off.

"Thanks, you're a peach," he deadpanned.

She looked at him speculatively. "You've been rather protective lately."

Tucker squirmed a little. "Well…."

"I mean, there was the time you called me your wife with those hideous alien creatures who were trying to steal anything not bolted down on Enterprise, up to and including myself and T'pol. And there was that time with the Suliban a couple months ago where you came to my defense…."

"All right, is this gonna be a rehash of the whole trip so far?"

Hoshi smirked. "Maybe. You know, the powers that be seem to think that you and T'pol have a thing for one another."

Tucker gave her a dirty look. "Are you kiddin'?"

"No. It all stems from that time you two were stuck in the decontamination chamber when we were looking for that Klingon."

"One little thing like that, and everyone has me pegged to be with her? Does anyone watch us together? How can they get any ideas like that from one little thing like that? If anyone should be matched up to T'pol--other than her own emotionless kind, that is--it's the captain. I mean, he's the only one who spends enough time with her to develop any kind of a bond. And she is quite fond of him, in her own Vulcan way. Anyone who thinks I'll end up with T'pol has fantasies of their own not grounded in what's actually goin' on."

"Would there be anyone on board who you'd consider a bond of your own?"

Tucker only gave her a sideways glance without speaking, but his face was coloring a shade similar to the departmental stripe on his uniform.