Author: Dr. Blueneck
Disclaimer: Come on, if I owned One Piece, I wouldn't be creeping on the internet writing fanfics and stalking authors... (I swear I'm sane. Really.)
Beta Reader: Thanks to HeroR for beta reading this story! Go worship her, she deserves it! (And all remaining mistakes are mine~)
Note: This is my first crack!fic ever. I don't even know if it can be called a crack!fic, really XD Just let me know what you think! Also, little advertising moment: I'm writing a series of OS called Firsts and Lasts of an Idiot's Life, focused on Luffy's childhood. If you like wee!Luffy (and feels, 'cause I'm an awful human being), go check :D
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ONE PIECE CRACK:
CAPTAIN GARP AND HIS (DAMN) MARINE GRANDSONS
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"One day, Luffy... Once you become a good marine... You'll give me back this hat."
The boy clung to the hat that was too big for his head, careful of the stuffed seagull perched on it.
"Sengoku...," he whispered with awe as the man jumped on the railing of his warship, throwing one last smile at the little boy. He's so cool, the kid thought.
"I PROMISE TO BECOME A GREAT MARINE, SENGOKU!"
xox
"I RAISED YOU TO BECOME STRONG PIRATES, YOU BRATS!"
Garp's angry screams could be heard all around the island as he glared at his grandsons, wearing marine garbs, gift from the friends they made here. One of them wore this distasteful hat on his head, symbol of a promise made a long time ago.
Damn Sengoku, always being a pain in my ass, stealing my grandchildren away!
"Shut up, Gramps! I'll become the Fleet Admiral of the Marine, deal with it!"
Garp's crew gasped dramatically at Luffy's words. Everyone knew how the grandfather wanted his grandsons to follow in his path. As he punched the disobedient youths, he continued to shout his disapproval, a vein ready to burst on his forehead.
"Where did I go wrong with you, huh?! First that goddamned son of mine becomes the leader of the Revolutionary Army, and now you brats spout nonsense about wanting to become marines?! Even Dragon had the decency to AT LEAST act against the bloody Government!"
The old man looked at the beat-up form of his eldest grandson and shook him.
"What would say your father if he saw you now? I promised him I'll look after you and here you are, being chummy with the enemy!"
"What enemy, you scumbag!," Ace yelled while trying to kick Garp in the face and failing miserably, "They protect people from rotten beings like you and my shitty father!"
"Yeah!," Luffy piped in, his hands covering the large seagull on his hat to protect it from Garp's wrath. "And if you wanted us to become pirates, maybe you shouldn't have dropped us in a marine base to begin with..."
He was silenced by Garp's fist and Ace growled at him. The old pirate growled back, eyes narrowed and hands wrapped tightly around his disobedient grandsons' shirts.
"IT WAS FOR TRAINING PURPOSE, YOU DUMBASS! I expected you to beat 'em up! Not to join them!"
"You're completely delusional, you crazy old shit."
Garp lost his patience - did he have one, to begin with? - and shook his eldest grandson (already green in the face from his previous experience) to shut him up.
"QUIET! I'll be leaving for now, I can't stay here any longer without fucking Sengoku sending marines after my ass. So listen, brats! I'll come back in a few months, and it's in your best interest to have kicked all those marines' asses before I come back and take you with me to Grandline. Otherwise…"
He didn't finish his threat, but the two teens didn't need him to. The old captain was batshit crazy, and already scared them without being threatening. Hell, even when he smiled the old man was frightening. They could only imagine the worse.
He barked at his crew to prepare the Hound (his beautiful, wonderful ship) and left his two grandsons behind.
Ace helped his brother to stand up on shaky legs, assessing his injuries.
"Ace?," asked Luffy, letting the oldest move his arms around.
"Hm?"
"You're seventeen in three months..."
Ace nodded, finishing looking up Luffy.
"Yeah. I'll set sail for Marineford."
Suddenly, Luffy grabbed him by the shoulders and begged him, a fearful look on his face,
"Please, Ace, please, please, please, I BEG YOU, let me come with you!"
"Wha-? No! Luffy, you'll go on your own when you reach seventeen!"
"But Ace, you don't understand! If Gramps comes and doesn't see you with me, he'll take the opportunity to make me a freaking pirate and I'll have a bounty, Ace, a bounty! I can't beat him on my own...!"
The oldest remained quiet for a while before the information came crashing down on him, and he too clung to his brother, his skin losing all colour.
"Shit! You're right, I can't leave you alone to face the old man... Okay, you know what, I'll go look for a boat, and we'll leave right after I find one! I don't want to risk the crazy dork coming earlier and taking us to Grandline..."
xox
Two months later, as Garp was sailing towards the marine base holding his grandsons in, a newspaper came in on the ship.
Opening it, he read the headlines.
PORTGAS D. ACE AND MONKEY D. LUFFY, YOUNG MARINE HEROES!
The two young teens saved a town from pirates on their way to Marineford where they wanted to start their training as new recruits. Fleet Admiral Sengoku appro-
He couldn't read any further as he ripped the newspaper in his anger. His screams scared away all the seakings around and even his crew stayed below deck, not wanting to face the feared captain of the Hound.
"THOSE DAMN BRATS! BECOMING MARINES BEHIND MY BACK! I'M GONNA WRING THEIR NECKS NEXT TIME I SEE THEM!"
End~
A/N: I always thought that Marine!Luffy would be less of a dork than Pirate!Luffy... I dunno why. And I always thought if Garp was a pirate, he would swear a lot and be much more brutal than his marine's self... Also, Ace is the same, pirate or marine, I don't think his personality would change drastically ^^
Err, this was just a shot at this theory... I had this crazy picture of Luffy with Sengoku's hat plaguing my mind and I couldn't get rid of it (I really wonder if such a picture exists! It'd be fun to see...) Maybe I'll do more crack!fics (or more of this verse?) if you liked it! Please, let me know your thoughts so that I can better my skills! (I'm a disaster at writing humorous stories... u_u) And remember to check Firsts and Lasts of an Idiot's Life! (Please? And I'll love you. FOREVER. Really. You won't be able to get rid of me. Choose wisely.)
Au revoir, mes petites bananes (I love bananas), and I'll see you... when I see you!
Doc.