The Family Formality – Part Four

The soft buzzing of a cellphone drew Penny from her sleep. She opened her eyes to the distant light of the barely awake sun and rolled towards her nightstand where the phone finished it's long alert and finally went quiet.

She reached for her phone, clicking the button on the side and seeing a new missed call and a voicemail.

Penny expected quite a few calls today, it was her birthday.

As the word passed through her mind, Penny couldn't help but picture a child's birthday party. The kind of party that she would be arranging for her baby as she grew up. With bouncy castles and trips to those annoying kids restaurants that always smell like week old pizza. The idea made her smile, hell it almost made her cry because she was so ready to have her baby here and it was only the second month.

Dialing her voicemail, Penny pulled her covers up just a bit more and listened.

"Happy Birthday!" It was Amy, Penny's smile immediately grew. "Can you believe that on this day twenty-six years ago that a saucy little girl from Nebraska came into this world full of fight and vigor and now that beautiful starlet is my best friend in the whole wide world?" Comments like that didn't even sound odd in Penny's head anymore. Amy was her best friend. "I can't wait to meet your parents today and celebrate with you. I've already spoken with Sheldon of what's expected of him, as your child's sperm benefactor, in granting you those slutty birthday wishes. Love you!"

A bubbly laugh fell from her lips as she hung up the phone and sat up. She felt pretty good this morning, the sickness would most likely come later but for now she was in good shape.

Standing up, she moved almost immediately to her full sized mirror and lifted her shirt up just over her growing belly and stared at it. She loved her bump, it made her smile with hope for the future of her life. There was no greater test of responsibility than what this little bump represented.

What was better was that her parents seemed on board with it. Sure they were thrown off by the details, no marriage, an undefined relationship and the fact that Sheldon was clearly a little crazy, but still they appeared happy.

"Who are you going to be?" She asked into the air and gently ran her hand over the skin. "Are you going to be a cheerleader?" Penny turned to the other side, for no real reason other than a different angle. "Or maybe a beautiful mind like your daddy? Only… less plaid," Even though she laughed at the idea, Penny couldn't imagine Sheldon wearing jeans and a hoodie. No, he was meant for his superhero t-shirts and plaid pants. She fell in love with those too. "Whatever you are, your momma is gonna love you." Every time she said it, or if anyone said it out loud, that she was going to be a mother, warmth spread through her entire body.

Penny heard the key fitting into the lock and knew immediately that it was Sheldon. She had told him to come over fairly early today, she wanted some alone time with him before they were bombarded with their friends and her parents and the rigors of the day. She had thankfully gotten her birthday off but was forced to switch a shift with Bryan in order to get it. An act she would probably regret later.

When he made his way inside, Penny leaned against the frame of her bedroom door and smiled at him. He carried with him a small, brown bag and immediately found her watching him.

"Hello," he offered blandly.

She grinned wider. "Hey you," Penny moved towards him. "What'cha got there?"

Sheldon eyed her, a bit annoyed. "What do I have here?"

"You know, your mother has pretty bad grammar but I never hear you correcting her." Penny challenged, trying to hide her smirk.

"Yes well… it is only right to respect your mother." Sheldon returned.

Penny tilted her head to the side. "But.. It's okay to basically call the woman you're having a baby with a slack jawed yokel?"

"Penny," he started, clearly annoyed. "I have never, and can promise you, will never use the term 'slack jawed yokel'. I'm not a Nebraskan hillbilly."

"You know there's a chance your kid could be a lil' bit of a slang talker like his momma." She said in a nonchalant tone.

Sheldon gasped, "I'd like to think that my genes can handily outsmart yours into the mind of our child."

"Well while your jeans are trying to win with your genius stuff, my genes are half drunk and ready to fight and we both know who would win in a fist fight between you and me."

"Yes," Sheldon glared at her. "It always comes down to violence for you corn fed folk."

Penny laughed. "You know, you always talk about where I'm from but you grew up further south than I did."

"Yes, and I fought against every bit of influence that my father tried to bestow on me."

At the mention of Sheldon's dad, her entire want to bicker with him went away. All she could see was little Shelly being ignored by his dad when he tried to show him some big science project he'd made. Taking a breath, she brought out her best smile.

"Back to my original question. What do you have there?"

Sheldon lifted his bag.

"I was told by Amy, Leonard and Howard that I was to purchase you a gift for your birthday." He stopped for a moment but Penny remained silent, watching him in silent wonder. "Oh that note I wish to convey my hopes that you have a day that consists of continuous elation and unwavering platitudes."

"What?" Penny asked, her face now blank.

He sighed. "I wish you a happy birthday."

"Thank you!" She beamed and took a step towards him. "When do I get my birthday kiss?"

"Oh yes," Sheldon sat his bag down on the couch. "I was informed of the kiss from Howard, though he suggested I give offer you other things for your birthday."

Penny rolled her eyes. "You really need to stop going to Howard for advice on this stuff."

He took a step towards her. "I do not seek out Wolowitz for these things, he is constantly around, spreading his recommendation on every matter."

"Ah," Penny nodded before standing on her tiptoes and mashing her lips together with his. Sheldon was getting better at the kissing, he wouldn't stand with his hands behind his back anymore. Touching Penny was not something he was afraid of, he would lay his hands on her hips, sometimes on her back and on a special day, like today, he could cup her cheeks with them and use the pads of his thumbs to stroke her cheeks.

When they broke apart, Penny was slightly flushed and smiling. It had been a damn good kiss. "Hmmm," she hummed happily. "What's in the bag?" She asked, moving to grab it but Sheldon snatched it up first.

"This is your gift. Social protocol dictated that I was to purchase you a gift, another area where I feel Wolowitz was not the best person to gain advice from."

Slowly the pair started to move towards the kitchen. Well, Penny was moving towards the kitchen (Sheldon was merely following her) to pour herself a glass of orange juice. It had become her morning coffee replacement and though it sucked at waking her up, she just needed to drink something.

"And what did Mr. Wolowitz suggest that you purchase your child's mother for her birthday?" Penny asked, her head buried in the fridge.

Sheldon sat down on one of the stools and put his bag on the seat next to him. "Some form of skimpy undergarment or something known as crotch-less panties… which seemed oddly efficient to me, especially considering how often you urinate."

"Oh Jesus! Sheldon those aren't for…" Penny took a deep breath and laughed softly to herself before taking a drink straight from the jug of juice. She finished with a smack of her lips and a glare from Sheldon at her, most likely, barbaric approach to juice drinking. "You know what, I don't see crotch-less panties ever coming up in our conversations again so I'll just let you Google it."

"I have better things to do on the internet then look up women's undergarments, though I scanned a few pairs when I was considering purchasing you something from Victoria's Secret per Leonard's suggestion."

"Victoria's Secret sells crotch-less panties? Kinda giving the secret away aren't they?"

"Penny," Sheldon sighed in exhaustion. "The panties I was looking at were not crotch-less, though they were lacking in fabric. Leonard said you wore those as well."

"Leonard?" Penny asked, a bit surprised that Leonard would suggest to his roommate that he should buy his ex-girlfriend some skimpy panties.

"Yes, but I'm pretty sure he was just tossing out whatever came into his mind first. Much like he does at work."

"Okay so no panties?"

"No," Sheldon said tiredly, still clutching his bag.

"Then what'd you get me? I heard you were driving the guys kinda nuts with all this."

He nodded slightly, "I was surprised at how useless they all turned out to be when I approached them for help in buying a gift for someone they all consider as their friend."

"It's not that they don't know what to buy me, it's just that you and I are kinda… past the basics of gift giving… I mean," she patted her belly. "We're not exactly friends anymore." He nodded again but said nothing and a silence fell over them for a moment as Penny sat down beside him. "So what'd you get me?" She asked again with a grin.

Sighing, Sheldon reached into his bag and pulled out two of the tiniest pieces of clothing Penny had ever seen. They were soft, one red and the other pink. He laid them out on the table in front of her and began to unfold them.

They were baby outfits, so tiny and sweet. Penny felt her eyes welling up at the sight of them. The first was red and had the symbol of the Flash emblazoned across it and the other was a soft pink with Hello Kitty staring back at her.

"Since we are currently unaware of the sex of our progeny I figured it best to purchase one for either occasion." He slid them slowly in Penny's direction. "Though I would not protest our potential daughter proudly wearing the symbol of the Fastest Man Alive."

"Oh Sheldon," Penny's eyes were welling up already. It didn't take much these days to make her cry. Damn hormones. Sheldon had stopped watching the nature channel when Penny was around when a show featuring the death of a baby lion cub had her sobbing in the bathroom for an hour. "These are so sweet! And so… tiny," she sighed and picked up both pieces of clothing. "Our little baby is gonna be in these soon."

"Yes," Sheldon said softly. "They will most likely be stained, babies have a high tendency to excrete fluid from all the various parts of their body." Penny looked at him with confusion, wiping at a tear on her cheek. "Baby's poop and puke."

With a content smile, Penny nodded and sat down her gifts.

"Thank you, honey." She whispered before pressing her lips gently against his. Sheldon sat very still, but he was always ready to kiss her back now. His mouth opened slightly and Penny dived right in. Their tongues clashing together as her fingertips grazed against his cheeks. She knew he liked the softness of the touch, the way he let out a soft sigh into her mouth. Pulling back, she looked into his eyes, warm and happy. These were the subtle moments that Penny enjoyed so much. "So… is this the whole gift?" She asked with a smirk.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her. "I had nothing else planned. Was there a part of the social protocol that I've missed?"

"No," she grinned. "But we aren't supposed to pick up my parents for another hour and a half. We could always do a little something else to… you know… celebrate.

He sighed. "I'm going to have to take my clothes off again, aren't I?"

"Well, I'm going to take a shower, I'll leave the curtain open if you wanna join me." She said, kissing him again quickly before standing up and sauntering towards her bedroom.

"If I want to join you." He corrected, though the smirk he wore made her grin like a fool.

"Yep, if you want me, you'll have to come and get me."

"What exactly are the parameters that you are expecting in this endeavor?" He asked, already following her.

Penny smiled. "Just some kissing, some hands stuff and maybe a little soapy goodness."

"Very well, but if you could please keep the water at an acceptable temperature as your need for the overwhelmingly hot turns my chest a very bright shade of red." Sheldon said as he was slipping his shirts off.

"That's because you're so pale, Honey. You really should get some more sun, you look like a ghost! I could take you to the beach." She said, already bare and turning on the water.

Sheldon began to fold his pants and set them on her closed toilet seat. "Penny, I have no desire to be subjugated to the possibility of skin melanoma."

When he turned around after finishing the task of undressing, Penny was standing under the water and smiling at him.

"Water's ready, Casper."

Penny stared blankly into the plate of salad in front of her as the laughter fluttered all around. She was blushing red, her body wracked with embarrassment as her parents began to tell the tale of her first banishment at a local Chili's restaurant in Omaha.

"Why did you set the curtains on fire?" Leonard asked, a chuckle in his throat.

"Apparently, coming into the place drunk, with the driver's license that had a picture of your brother on it doesn't get you many drinks." Her mom answered, looking at her daughter with a wry smile. "I don't understand why you ever thought that would work?"

"Penny greatly overestimates her intelligence whenever she's intoxicated." Sheldon said, drawing the eyes of the girl next to him. He wasn't looking at her, just poking at his salad and fidgeting in the dress shirt he'd been coerced into wearing by the guys for Penny's birthday.

He looked very nice, and had been very sweet to her all day. Opening doors for her and pulling out her chair (he wiped it down vigorously with a napkin, his own too and was yelled at when he tried to do the same to Leonard's).

Everyone had come out, Raj was here and had chosen to be sober tonight which kept him out of the conversation but he was smiling and laughing with everyone. Howard and Bernadette sat next to Amy and Leonard, though the former of the couples was clearly not having the best of nights and had obviously been fighting before showing up because they were sitting as far apart from each other as they could without being pressed up against the person opposite them. Then there was Penny's parents, her mother in a dress and her dad in his best button down flannel t-shirt and a clean pair of jeans.

"Sheldon greatly overestimates his intelligence all the time." Penny finally countered, earning her glare that granted him a sweet smile in return. "Hey you," she teased and Sheldon sighed before returning to his meal.

"So Penny, you never told us how you and Sheldon first met." Her mother started, eyeing her expectantly. "I mean, I know he was your neighbor but when did ya'll start talking?"

A smile painted across Penny's face. She would always remember that day. How scared she was being alone for the first time in her life and how perfect everything fell into place when she first met the boys across the hall.

"Well the first thing I'll ever remember hearing Sheldon tell me was that I was sitting in his spot."

"You have your own spot?" Her dad asked.

Everyone groaned.

"Here was go." Howard said quietly while Sheldon cleared his throat.

"Yes—"

"Me too!" Wyatt interrupted. "Kathleen doesn't understand it but she's always gotta have the frickin' blinds open in the living room and it's the only chair in the house that doesn't have a glare on the damn TV!" Penny watched as her mother glared at him. "Well it's true, if you'd let me close those blinds."

"Oh good Lord, Wyatt if it was up to you we'd be sitting in the dark like vampires."

Her dad grinned. Penny was surprised at how well they were getting along. "Well I bet Dracula never has to worry about glare on his TV."

"Then I saw his whiteboard and couldn't believe it. Leonard too." She said, giving him a slight smile. He didn't even seem to be paying attention, Amy was whispering to him as they both poked around at the peas in her salad with their forks. "It was amazing."

"His what?" Kathleen questioned with a furrowed brow.

"The boards in which I do my work at home. My job as a Theoretical Physicist is never ending. A breakthrough can occur at any moment and it is always pertinent to be prepared." He said a bit condescendingly, as if his job was the single greatest line of work this world had ever known. Penny had worried that he might say something to upset her parents but they were being extremely patient with him, always smiling.

"Sheldon," Amy began, though she never looked up from her plate. "Your line of work has not had a major breakthrough in almost eighty years. For all intents and purposes you might as well be working to better the design of toilet paper. Which, as we all know, is pointless because you simply cannot improve toilet paper."

He leveled a deadly glare on her that actually made Penny worry he might jump across the table or, at least, stand up and storm out. She laid a soft hand on his arm and drew his eyes. Amy hadn't even given him a second look before returning to whatever silly game she was playing with Leonard.

"Right now, Sheldon is working on possible models of the cold dark matter in the universe and their experimental signals." Penny rambled out easily and suddenly everyone was looking at her. She smiled with a shrug. "I don't know what it means but he seems pretty excited about it."

Though everyone was staring at her, Penny only cared about the look she was getting from Sheldon. His lips were pursed and his hands were still, but his eyes were thankful and almost happy. He clearly appreciated the fact that Penny had come to the defense of his work. Even if she knew nothing about it, she knew it mattered to him.

The rest of the night went incredibly well, with everyone laughing and singing happy birthday to Penny.

She silently wished for a healthy baby when she blew out her candles, the most selfless wish she'd ever made.

The best wish she'd ever made.

As good as it had been to be with her friends and family for her birthday dinner, something in Penny's meal was not sitting well. She was resting on the couch with her head lolled back on the cushions. Her stomach twisting in knots and cramping so bad it was hard to move. Her parents had been reluctant to leave but Penny insisted that she would be okay. They were going to be taking a cab up to see her early in the morning and be leaving back for Omaha on the afternoon flight.

For the most part, everything had gone exceptionally well with them. They were supportive, if not a bit leery of their youngest daughter having a child so unconventionally. They seemed to like Sheldon, even if they struggled to understand him. His manner towards her was clearly a big selling point as her father told her that he was a good man with a good amount of crazy. Penny took that as a ringing endorsement. Her mother was infatuated with him, he was just quirky enough that Kathleen could find all the good things about him. Sheldon mentioned something about wanting good oatmeal cookies and Penny's mother happily shared her recipe with him (the same recipe that she once threatened to divorce her father for if he ever gave it away, everyone was pretty sure she was kidding).

The gang was adjusting well enough, they still earned odd looks whenever they were affectionate towards one another and Leonard had taken to almost ignoring them completely when they were in the same room. If he met Penny in the hall he was as sweet as ever and Sheldon had said things were mostly back to normal when she wasn't around. But if the three of them were together, he was distant but accepting.

Penny figured that was Leonard's way of adjusting, she was willing to give him time for that. Plus he was constantly enthralled in his secret little world with Amy Farrah Fowler.

Whatever was on TV clearly had all of Sheldon's attention. It was some kind of show about Dinosaurs, they kept showing bones and placing them with animated pictures of cheesy looking Jurassic Park knock offs.

She didn't really care what the show was, whatever it was had kept Sheldon on her couch and right now Penny was happy to use him as her pillow. She felt terrible, her chest hurt to match the bubbling in her stomach and her eyes were heavy with exhaustion. The better part of the night had been spent running from the bathroom to the couch and Sheldon was worried each time she raced off.

The strangest thing was how affectionate he was being, it wasn't much really, but to Penny it was a big deal. He'd held her hand most of the way through dinner and was still lazily brushing his thumb over the back of her hand. Sure it was completely undefined, but they were a couple without a label and it was the easiest relationship Penny had ever been in. Things hadn't changed that much, Sheldon could still drive her absolutely crazy and Penny knew she could do the same thing to him, but these moments were new. The closeness and the quiet, that feeling of effortless emotion. Nothing about this was forced; she didn't have to strike up conversations to make everything feel like it was working.

She could sit here pressed up against him, watching a lame show about Dinosaurs and know that her relationship was working.

"I think I'm having heat stroke," Sheldon said, panting just a bit.

"What?" Penny asked, pulled out of her haze.

"You are creating an intense perimeter of heat as the temperature of an August night combined with your close proximity are distressing, Penny." Sheldon said above her, shifting just a bit.

Penny pulled away from him and nodded. "I know, it's hot and I'm all sweaty from the stomach ache."

"Are you experiencing the onset of vomiting or diarrhea?" He asked cautiously, pulling away slightly.

"God no," she cringed. "I mean my stomach hurts but I think it's all staying in there." Sheldon nodded before checking his watch. "Going somewhere?" She questioned with a frown.

"It is past my usual bedtime. However I am uncomfortable with the idea of leaving you in this apartment alone." His words were sweet, even if his tone sounded like he was being completely put out by the emotions of worry. "Would you be willing to leave the webcam of your computer on and set it up next your bed? I would leave mine on and—"

"Sweetie," she cut him off. "Why don't you go get ready and just come back here?"

"Penny," he started, condescension lacing every word. "I am not about to make you sleep on the couch."

She glared at him, poking him in the stomach with a pointed finger. "I'm not suggesting I sleep on the couch you dingbat. I'm saying we could sleep in my bed, it's a little bigger than yours and you liked it the last time you slept in it."

"I had no other choice, Penny. I'd locked myself out of my apartment."

"That's not the point!" She said, a bit louder then she'd intended.

"Penny you snore rather intensely."

"No I don't," she defended, really she didn't think she did. Sheldon had mentioned it once but Leonard never said anything. Though she was starting to learn that Leonard went out of his way not to bring up anything that might upset her. A quality Sheldon did not have, a quality she kind of liked. "Look," she calmed. "Just… go do whatever it is you do before you go to bed, bring your Saturday pajamas and we'll give it a shot, okay?"

Sheldon sent a tired glance at her bedroom door and then back to the exit of her apartment before finally looking into her eyes with a short nod. "Very well. A wise man once said: there can be no progress without the process of experimentation." He stated while standing.

"Who said that?" Penny asked, following him up.

"I did."

"No," she stammered. "I mean, I know you did but what great man said it first? Who are you quoting?"

He looked at her with derision. "Me."

Again she glared at him, her eyes narrowing tightly. "Go. Get. Ready!" He matched her glare and left Penny standing in her apartment with a big smile on her face.

The next ten minutes were spent brushing her teeth and lingering over the toilet in fear. Nothing happened and her stomach was a bit calmer by the time Sheldon returned, offering soft knocks on her closed bedroom door.

Penny opened the door to find him standing in a pair of green PJ's, his eyes unsure but he smiled curtly before stepping in on her invite.

"Do you have a side of the bed?" Penny asked, pulling down the covers.

"No, I sleep in the middle." Sheldon said, pointing to the center.

"Yeah well… that's not really gonna work now cause I'm not really petite and this you're no homunculus."

He smirked at her. "Very good,"

"Thank you," Penny beamed goofily.

Moving around her bed a bit, Sheldon eyed the bedding intensely. "When was the last time you had your sheets cleaned?" He asked, looking up at her.

"Sheldon," Penny sighed. "These are brand new sheets, okay? I just took them out of the package this morning."

He shrugged, satisfied. "Well then this is one of those instances that people unfamiliar with large numbers would call a coincidence."

"Not really, Honey. I know you're crazy, okay? Of course I was going to change the sheets for you." She said, lying down and not waiting for him to dictate his side of the bed.

As she settled into the softness of her mattress, Penny looked up to see him watching her.

"What?"

He sent her a dubious look. "I had specified no predetermined intention of sleeping in your bed this evening, Penny. How would you have possibly known to put on new sheets?"

"Oh," she grinned slightly. "Well it is my birthday. I thought I might coax you in here on some kind of social, sexy gift giving convention."

"So you did not plan on keeping your sheets clean for very long?" He asked, still standing above her.

Penny shook her head slowly. "Guess not but that's not gonna happen tonight with how I feel so… you're safe."

"Oh good," he sighed in absolute relief.

A smile painted across Penny's face as she slid over and finally felt him crawling in beside her.

Sheldon lay flat on his back, his hands folded over his stomach while Penny pulled the blankets up over them.

"Good?" She asked, watching him.

He nodded slightly. "So far." Penny smiled just a bit before gently cuddling up against him, her head resting on his chest ever so slightly. "Your hair," he mumbled before reaching up and plucking a few stray pieces out of his mouth.

Penny was ready to apologize when she realized that he held her hair between his fingers, gently running his fingers through it.

Yeah, he was good.

"Sheldon?" She asked into the darkness a few minutes later.

"Penny?"

"Have you thought about what our baby might be like?" She swallowed heavily and stared sharply into the spot where the lights outside her window were illuminating her closet door.

"Other than the potential future of science?"

"You know, if we're lucky he or she might have a few more interests in it's life outside of science." Penny mumbled into the quiet room.

Sheldon sighed. "Yes, I do have plans to show them the wonders of Star Trek."

"Great," she grumbled.

"I agree."

Penny laughed softly. "That's not what I mean tough, I meant, you know… boy or girl?"

"Oh," he whispered seriously. "I suppose I have pictured it both ways, each time seeing our child, male or female, as the key to the future of science."

"Good Lord," she murmured, pinching his rib just enough to make him squeak underneath of her. "What if he or she isn't smart?"

"Penny," he started again, as if she were barking like a dog.

"Sheldon," she matched his tone all the same, ready to stand her ground. "I'm serious, what if our baby isn't a genius, what if they're just a normal, run of the mill kid who likes playing sports and gets straight B's instead of straight A's?" Methodically, Penny dragged her index finger over the material of his pajamas. "Will you still love them all the same?"

"Were you a straight B student?" Sheldon asked, veering off course.

"Uh," Penny stammered. "Well more like… C's and D's but school was never really my thing."

"My genes really do have their work cut out for them don't they?" Sheldon said with a sigh.

"You know, you used to say I had the attention span of a gnat but you keep going off on your little tangents too. Now answer the question, will you still love them just the same if they aren't a genius like you?"

He was silent for a good thirty seconds, to the point that Penny wondered if he'd fallen asleep.

Finally, he answered. "I would," he said simply and the damn hormones had tears building up in Penny's eyes. "I understand what it is like to have a parent that does not appreciate the person that you are, that wishes the best of which you are did not exist."

"Your dad?" She asked in a soft voice, knowing the answer.

"I would never subjugate my child to that feeling of disappointment." His voice was quiet but his words were strong and Penny had never felt more sure in her life that everything about this pregnancy was right. That it was supposed to be this, she was supposed to be here with this boy and ready to spend her future with him. "However I am still quite confident that our child is—"

"The future of science. Yeah… I know." She finished for him, sniffling just a bit. "I love you, Sheldon." She said airily, cuddling against him more. "I'll move in a bit, okay? I know I'm probably crowding you."

"I do not move in my sleep, Penny. This is acceptable so long as you do not start abusing me in your sleep as a replacement for some kind of outlandish nightmare that plagues most pregnant women."

Penny was already fading into sleep. "Mmm, what if I have a sexy dream?"

"I will adjust accordingly." He answered simply, his own voice drifting. "Happy birthday, Penny."