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Secret

Hi my name is Alan Shepherd Tracy and I am the youngest child of the ex-astronaut Jeff Tracy. This means I have four older brothers Scott, John, Virgil and Gordon.

Scott is the oldest and there is ten whole years between us meaning he's 24 and I'm only 14. I love Scott especially since he practically raised me after my mum died when I was four. But since dad started up with the thunderbirds Scott has started ignoring me and when he talks to me it's basically just teasing.

John's the next oldest at 22 he was briefly in NASA before he joined the thunderbirds. I don't really get to see him so we don't have the best relationship but he probably knows about the same about me as the rest of the family, which is nothing.

Virgil is next and is 20. He was a doctor briefly so he is the island's unofficial doctor. Virgil and me were never really close not like me and Gordon or me and Scott but it still hurts how just ignores or teases me now.

Gordon is my last older brother and he is 18 so there's four years between us. When we were younger me and Gordon were the terrible two but now we're not! That's all there is to say. Except…well sometimes I feel like he hates me!

And then there's me. Alan Shepherd Tracy. The youngest. The mistake. The unwanted one. The unimportant one.

My family think I'm just selfish, childish, reckless, stupid etc.

And maybe it I am selfish, childish, reckless and stupid if it's selfish, childish, reckless and stupid to want my family to care, to want them to remember me, to want them to know the real me. They don't though, they don't know the real me. They don't know that I feel like there's nothing I can do because I will never do as good as them. I don't want to learn to fly because I could never do it as good as Scott. I can do many things with a computer but John, Fermat and Brains are the computer people. I can play some musical but Virgil can play twice as much. I can swim quite fast but Gordon has an Olympic gold medal for swimming. I have nothing so I must build walls up around myself to protect me from everyone including myself.