"You are in a mood." Draco slumped in his seat. "You could just pretend I've learned it and then give me a perfect mark and be done with it."
"You are lucky I talked your parents into allowing me to teach you Charms instead of some stranger." Potions. Charms. Did the bloody torture ever end? "I saw Black today," Severus continued.
"You see him every day at meals," Draco said. He muttered a spell, but the small rock refused to budge.
"You are not concentrating." Severus jotted a note on his parchment. "He misses you." He kept a close watch for Draco's reaction. He was not surprised by Draco's squared shoulders or his hardened expression.
"Well, you are jabbering," Draco pointed out.
"Do you wish to clean my classroom the muggle way, little boy?" Severus smirked at Draco's quick head shake. "You are starting to believe your parents."
Draco muttered the spell again. "Aha!" He cried. The rock hovered for a few seconds before it fell back on the hard wood table.
"Very good, Draco." Severus pulled the wand from the boy's grip. "Enough for now. You need to face this, child. I told you to play along, not fall for their lies."
"School is out in a few weeks," Draco replied. "Father will still punish me, but I'd rather not make it worse. Wasn't that the point, Godfather?"
"It is alright to miss him, Draco." Snape placed a hand between the child's shoulder blades.
"He hasn't looked at me in two months."
Severus noticed Draco was getting better at holding onto his mask. He needed to for survival, but Severus hated seeing the child's light dimmed. "He is afraid of you getting into trouble, Draco. You know that very well." He didn't want to fight on Black's behalf, but Severus resigned himself to the fate. Draco was not the same without his uncle.
"Mother is right. He could have stayed out of the muggle-born business. He didn't. He didn't care about me." He sounded like he was reciting a well practiced speech. "They might allow me back in his class next year. Then he'll see I don't care about him anymore."
The boy didn't waver. Severus' eyes narrowed. Black's absence allowed Lucius and Narcissa to fill Draco's head with nonsense. How was he just noticing how much Sirius foiled their plans for their only child? Well, he has the luxury, Snape thought, He is not trying to stay in their bloody good graces. I'm the one left to pick up the pieces."
"Draco," he said out loud, "Would you so easily cast me aside should your parents request it of you?"
Draco glared at his godfather. "You are just putting me on, trying to make a point."
"So then you'd have me believe you would not cast me aside," Severus said. "Your refusal to answer indicates you are caught in your own performance. Bravo, Draco. You nearly had me believing you didn't care about Sirius."
Draco slammed his textbook shut and jumped up, but Severus was out of his seat in a flash. He grabbed Draco by both arms. "You are allowed to make your own decisions about people," Snape said in that deathly low whisper that sent fear to Draco's heart, "But you better make sure they ARE your choices, little boy. Now, tell me. What is it you want?"
Draco struggled against the grip, but it was no use. "Let me go!"
"Tell me, Draco. What is it YOU want?"
"I can't have it so what is the point? I can barely have you! They know, Godfather! They know! You are too fond of me. They don't want you caring so much!" Draco didn't cry. He just looked tired. Resigned. Older.
Snape pulled him to his waist and hugged him tightly. He wasn't going to allow another child to lose his way to tyrants – especially not this child. "Trust us, Draco. You must." He pushed him backward and held him by the scuff of his neck. "Tell them what they want to hear. Tell them your uncle is a traitor. Tell them you are tired of my ways. But do not...do not once believe the lies you need to say, Draco. The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves."
The line between truth and lie blurred so much. It was too much for Draco. "They don't want me. Mother might, but she cares more about Father and..." He took a deep breath. "Father thinks I am a bad Malfoy. It is too hard, Godfather. They will take you too and then I will be all alone with them! I need to be like them! Think like them! How do I think like them? Tell me!" His whole body shook with repressed sobs.
Draco would be the death of Severus. The professor drew him close again. "Hush now. You are who you are meant to be, Draco. Your parents are fools not to realize it. Do you understand what I am telling you? Will you hold on for a little while longer?"
"Don't make promises you can't keep!" Draco finally started to cry. "It makes it worse when he leaves me in that room! When I am alone and you don't come! When Uncle Sirius doesn't come!"
"We're going to come, Draco. I swear on everything we're going to come." Severus didn't know why he uttered those words. He wasn't in the habit of making sweeping promises and the boy had a point about not making ones he couldn't keep.
Good thing he intended to keep that promise. One way or the other.