A/N: Okay...so this is a bit different than the previous two parts and I'm kinda nervous about it. I hope Jesus and Brandon aren't too out of character...or Callie either, for that matter. I'm also not sure how realistic this whole thing is but after trying unsuccessful to write something different, I decided to forget about it and just got with it...
xxxxxx
The night that Callie told Stef about the foster mother who had repeatedly locked her in a closet, after dinner was done, the dishes were washed, homework had been checked, and all of the kids were tucked safely in their beds, Lena came into their bedroom to find Stef lying flat on her back, arms crossed and resting over eyes.
Lena watched her wife a long moment before she spoke. "Are you going to tell me what happened today?"
"Why do you think something happened?" Stef mumbled, not pulling her arms back from over her eyes.
"Well, for starters, the way you're lying there right now," Lena answered.
"I'm tired," Stef defended but, as if to prove a point, she removed her arms from over her eyes, flinching at the brightness of the light in the room.
"Right," Lena shook her head, clearly indicating that she didn't believe Stef one bit. She moved over to her side of the bed and started removing decorative pillows. "And what about the way you couldn't keep your hands off of Callie all night?"
Stef leaned up on her elbow then, shooting Lena a weird look.
At the look, Lena re-ran her last words through her head, realizing that they sounded vaguely inappropriate. "You know what I meant." She shook her head at her wife, tossing a pillow half-heartedly at her, which Stef just caught and proceeded to use to lean against as Lena re-worded her previous statement. "At dinner you kept reaching over to touch her hand, or to run your hand through her hair, and I think you must have kissed or hugged her a dozen times between dinner and bedtime."
"Can't I show my kids affection?" Stef frowned.
Lena sighed, "Of course you can. You do, all the time. It's one of the things I love the most about you." She got up onto the bed then, climbing far enough over so that she could quickly peck Stef on the lips before pulling back. "But, come on Stef, it was a lot even for you. And don't even get me started on the way you were scrubbing that poor pot after dinner. I thought you were trying to scrub a hole right through the bottom of it."
It was Stef's turn to sigh, as she sat up, preparing herself for what she had to say next – there had never been any doubt in her mind that she would share with Lena what Callie had told her, she'd just been stalling. She knew that it would break Lena's heart the same way it had broken hers, only probably worse because Lena seemed to feel everything more, or at least differently. "Lena…Callie told me earlier that one of her foster mother's used to lock her in a closet."
Lena's eyes widened immediately, a mixture of both horror and sorrow filling her eyes. "No." She didn't want to believe it, it was too horrible to imagine her sweet Callie locked in a closet, it hurt her heart far too much.
Stef reached for Lena's free hand squeezing it once before rubbing the back of it soothingly. She knew that Lena didn't actually not believe her. "She didn't say much, just that it was a punishment for everything. The way she was talking…I don't think the things that classified as punishable offenses were too logical."
"Logical? How could locking a child in a closet ever be logical?" Lena's voice was quiet and filled with sorrow but there was a hint of anger there too.
"It couldn't," Stef immediately agreed, her eyes locked with Lena's for several moments before they hardened considerably. "I would like nothing more than to find this woman and…" she didn't finish her thought, instead grabbing a fistful of the covers in a tightly clenched hand.
Lena shook her head, "And get arrested? Because that would be really helpful. I always wanted to be a single parent." The truth was, she was angry too, but encouraging Stef would do no good.
Stef couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her lips.
Lena shook her head again but smiled over at her wife. The smile was short lived as a thought crossed her mind, though. "What about Jude?"
Stef sat up straighter at the question, tilting her head in thought before she decided, "I…I don't really know," she hated to have to admit it.
Lena just raised a questioning eyebrow at Stef and waited for her to continue.
"I mean, I don't think so. The way they were talking, it didn't seem like it. But the conversation ended pretty quickly…I could tell Callie was shutting down and I didn't want to push with a bunch of questions," Stef explained, "I didn't want her to associate sharing with feeling uncomfortable."
Lena nodded in understanding. She was glad that Stef understood Callie so well. Truthfully, Lena was a bit surprised to hear that Callie had even shared unprompted in the first place. It was a wonderful step – it was just hard to feel happy about it when she was hearing such a terrible thing. She wished she'd known earlier, she would have given Callie an extra long goodnight hug before she'd gone to bed.
Stef squeezed Lena's hand once more before letting go of it and moving backwards on the bed, climbing under the covers. "We could probably just ask Jude, he would probably just answer," she offered casually.
"Probably," Lena agreed non-committedly, getting up and turning off the light before she got under the covers too. They could ask Jude but they probably wouldn't. Instead, they would wait for either Callie or Jude to come to them because, as much as they wanted, no needed, to know the facts about the things that had happened to their children, this wasn't about their needs, it was about their children's need to share the burden, which would only work if they were allowed to do it in their own time. As hard as it was, Lena and Stef would just have to be patient. In the meantime, all they could really do was offer Callie and Jude as much love as possible.
xxxxxx
Even later that same night, once everyone else had long since been asleep, Jude tiptoed into Callie and Mariana's room.
Callie was a light sleeper, she hadn't always been, but years of necessity had turned her into one. She was particularly attuned to Jude, similar to the way a mother was attuned to her baby's cries, and, so, within seconds of him stopping at the side of her bed, her eyes flew open.
She'd been dreaming about being locked in that closet and when she woke it was with flailing arms, one of them connecting with the wall. In the seconds that it took her to pull her arm away from the wall and remember that she was in her bed and not that cramped closet her heart raced wildly, thumping loudly in her chest. As she tried to calm her breathing, her gaze fell on Jude, her eyes raking him up and down until she was satisfied that there didn't seem to be anything physically wrong with him.
"Hi baby," Callie whispered as her gaze drifted past him to Mariana's bed, wondering if the noise her arm had made when it hit the wall had woken her, but the other girl still seemed to be sleeping peacefully.
"Hi," Jude whispered back.
Her eyes back on Jude, Callie couldn't help but look him up and down again but she still couldn't see any sign that something was physically wrong. The logical part of her brain knew that, unlike in all of their previous foster homes, here, if there was actually something wrong with him, Jude would have woken Stef and Lena up, not her, but still she couldn't help but worry. Her eyes were soft as she asked him, "Baby, what's wrong?"
Jude looked down at the ground as he mumbled quietly, "I had a bad dream."
She shouldn't be surprised, over the years he'd certainly had his share of nightmares, but this was the first time he'd woken her up in the middle of the night since they'd come to live here and his admission caught her off guard. A small part of her wondered why he'd come to her and not to Stef and Lena but she just moved over, making room for him in the bed, and pulling the covers back so that he could get in.
Callie didn't have to say anything to him, Jude immediately climbed in beside her, shifting his body so that he was as close to her as physically possible, her arm wrapping around him and his head falling onto her chest, the whole process coming back as second nature, a once practiced motion. He sighed softly, nestling even closer to her, happy to find that he still fit here next to her – it had been so long since they'd lain like this that he hadn't been sure he would.
Callie smoothed Jude's hair before resting her chin on the top of his head, murmuring softly to him, "Tell me about your dream." Callie knew that Jude wasn't like her, he liked to talk things through out loud, telling her about his dream would make him feel better.
It was true, Jude wasn't like Callie, it wasn't hard for him to share, least of all with her, so the words fell from his lips without hesitation. "It was about Bruce".
"Mmm…" Callie hummed wordlessly in understanding, rubbing Jude's arm soothingly. Bruce was the foster father who had broken her arm, definitely one of their worst placements. It seemed strange that Jude had dreamt of him tonight though. Callie wondered if her bringing up a previous foster home, even if it hadn't been the one he'd dreamt of, was what had caused the memory to surface. The possibility that she was to blame for his nightmare made her feel terrible. She sighed, "Real or fake?" The familiar question slipped from her lips, her way of asking him if what he'd dreamt was something that had actually happened.
"Real," Jude answered, his voice muffled as he buried his head further in her shirt.
"Did it scare you?" Callie asked him next, continuing to rub his arm as she glanced cautiously over in Mariana's direction, worried that their quiet conversation would wake her up – she still seemed to be sound asleep though, not having moved since Jude came into the room.
"He broke your arm. It was scary," Jude told her, both his tone and his words indicating that it wasn't exactly the dream that had scared him, more the memory itself. As far as he was concerned, actually being there had been much scarier than any dream could ever be. Callie never screamed but she had that night, a pain filled cry that had made Jude wonder if maybe she was dying – it was that scream that had permeated through his dream tonight, that had turned it into a nightmare.
Callie sighed, "I'm sorry buddy." Her words were heartfelt and remorseful.
"Why?" Jude asked, genuinely confused by the apology.
Callie reached up and ran her fingers through the side of his hair, not knowing how to really answer the question. She was sorry for so many things – that his nightmares were real, that, despite her best attempts, she hadn't always been able to keep him safe, that he hadn't gotten to have a normal childhood. Right now though, the thing she was most sorry about was that her actions might have triggered his nightmare.
When Callie said nothing, Jude prompted again, "Why, Callie?" He knew she blamed herself for all kinds of things that weren't her fault and he hated it.
Callie would have rather said nothing but Jude was using what she called his determined voice, making it hard to not give in – she'd never been good at denying him the things he wanted. "I'm sorry that you had a nightmare," she whispered, half of the truth. "I hate when you have nightmares."
Jude was still sort of confused, although he knew then, at least, that his guess had been right – she was blaming herself for things that couldn't possibly be her fault. "You didn't cause it."
Callie didn't protest but she didn't say anything either and Jude was pretty sure that meant that she didn't really believe him. He wanted to convince her but he knew her enough to know that nothing he could say would really change her mind, not when it came to stuff like this. He changed tactics, "Callie?" he asked softly.
"Ya, buddy?" She responded.
"Thanks for keeping our deal. For talking about the closet today," Jude told her.
Callie ran her fingers through his hair again, lifting her chin so that she could kiss the top of his head, but still not saying anything.
"I was glad," Jude added and he really meant it. Callie feeling secure enough here to share her secrets made him feel safe. He would never admit this to her, but sometimes he still worried that he would wake up one morning and she would be gone again. The definitive knowledge that she trusted and loved the people in this house enough to share her secrets made him worry less.
"Mmm…" Callie hummed, finally acknowledged his words, as her chin settled back on the top of his head. "Jude…" she murmured several moments later, her voice exceptionally soft "…you know you can go to Stef and Lena when you have nightmares, right?" Her tone suggested that she was truly worried that he didn't.
"I know," Jude confirmed immediately, no doubt in his voice. He did know and maybe on a different night he would have gone to them but tonight he'd just wanted Callie. He wanted Callie to know that just because they were safe now, that just because he didn't need her to protect him anymore, it didn't mean that he didn't still need her.
Jude was silent for a long while after that, the sound of Callie's heart beat humming in his ear comfortingly, reminding him of the many nights he'd spent just like this, nestled against her side, the only place he'd really felt safe at times. When his eyelids started to feel heavy he whispered, "Can I stay here with you tonight?"
Callie's eyes drifted in Mariana's direction but she doubted the other girl would mind, besides, it didn't really matter anyway, she could never deny Jude this particular request. "Always, baby, always."
"I love you Callie," Jude told her then, his eyes already closing, the steady beating of Callie's heart still thumping in his ear like his very own lullaby.
"I love you too baby," Callie murmured back. She didn't let herself close her own eyes until Jude's breathing changed, indicating that he had drifted off to sleep.
The next morning when Mariana woke up to both of her soon to be siblings sound asleep in Callie's bed, she didn't say a word, just smiled softly at the sight, and tiptoed out of the room and down to the kitchen.
xxxxxx
Days later, on a Saturday afternoon, Callie was helping Brandon and Jesus clean out, or at least make space, in Brandon's room – where Jesus would be staying temporarily until Brandon decided to come home.
Being around Brandon still felt strange and when she'd first come into the room, offering to help, they'd danced around each other uncomfortably but right now Callie was relaxed. She was having a good time pulling stuff out of Brandon's closet and making the boys reveal what particular items were or why they had been kept, teasing Brandon good naturedly about some of her stranger finds – like the leaf collection. The latest item she pulled out was some kind of toy. She held it up for both of the boys to see. "Why do you still have toys Brandon?"
"Oh man, it's Optimus!" Jesus grinned widely, excited by this particular find. "Can I keep that?" The question was directed at Brandon.
Brandon immediately shook his head at Jesus, "No way."
"Aw come on," Jesus frowned at him, hoping that his best sad face would cause Brandon to cave in – it had usually worked when he was younger and wanted to play with Brandon's toys.
Brandon just shook his head again. "Sorry, it's just not going to happen, Optimus and me go way back." He grinned over at Jesus.
Callie was confused. Where they being serious? "Guys…you realize you're fighting over a toy right? For kids?"
"A toy? You think that's a toy?" Brandon's eyes widened in mock horror at her words. He turned his head in Jesus' direction, whispering loudly to him, "She thinks it's a toy."
Jesus suppressed a smile as he shook his head at Brandon, "She's crazy." He emphasized the word crazy.
Brandon grinned over at Callie, reaching over and grabbing the transformer from her hand, his voice calm and serious as he announced to her, "This is not a toy, it's an action figure."
"An action figure?" Callie couldn't help the way her face contorted in a way that suggested that she thought they were the crazy ones.
"Yes, an action figure," Jesus nodded, throwing his support behind Brandon, his voice just as serious as his brother's.
"Ya, okay, guys," Callie couldn't help but laugh at them. "But, come on, action figure is just a code word for toy."
Jesus groaned in pretend disbelief, slapping his hand to his forehead.
Brandon shook his head. "I'm disappointed in you Callie," he told her seriously.
"Me? You're the one fighting over a toy," she laughed louder, enjoying herself – this, the teasing, felt like real sibling stuff.
"You know, I think I'm tired of you making fun of all the stuff we keep finding. What do you think Jesus?" Brandon's eyes twinkled as he glanced over at Jesus.
"I think you make a very good point Brandon," Jesus agreed conspiratorially, his head tilting subtly in the direction of the closet.
Brandon nodded his head, confirming that they had the same idea. "Don't worry," he declared, "I know how to make her stop," He grinned, taking two steps forward and grabbing one of her arms, while Jesus simultaneously grabbed the other one, easily lifting Callie off the ground.
Callie was still laughing as she shrieked, "What are you doing? Guys? Stop!"
As they backed her into the closet her laughter died, the tone of her voice changing from amusement to something closer to fear, her last shout of "Stop!" coming out much louder, but through their own laughter the boys didn't notice the change.
Once they'd deposited her in the closet, Brandon quickly closed the door, keeping his hand on the handle so that she wouldn't be able to open it. Leaning casually against the door he joked loudly, his eyes on Jesus, "Ahh…that's better."
"Much better," Jesus jokingly agreed, just as loudly to ensure that Callie would hear him.
From inside the closet, Callie banged her fist against the wooden door. "Brandon! Let me out!"
"Do you hear something Jesus?" Brandon continued to joke.
"No, I don't think I do," Jesus followed.
"Please…" Callie whimpered.
Brandon frowned at the closet door then, something about the desperation behind Callie's last word making his stomach turn. Suddenly concerned, he was about to open the door when Jude came barrelling into the room, Mariana two steps behind him. The pair had been next door working on Jude's math homework when they'd heard Callie's scream.
"Let her out," Jude growled, as he practically tackled Brandon out of the way – or at least tried to, he wasn't exactly successful given their size difference.
"Whoa, buddy," Brandon steadied him, keeping him from falling over.
"We're just playing," Jesus added, wondering what had the younger boy so freaked out. He looked over at Mariana, wondering if she would know what was going on. He was surprised to find that his twin was taking in the whole seen with wide horrified eyes. He didn't understand why, she'd once locked him in a closet with Brandon's help and nobody seemed to mind that.
"Moms!" Mariana shrieked urgently, hoping that they'd hear her and come quickly.
Stef and Lena had already been on their way up the stairs, having heard all the noise coming from the second floor, but at Mariana's shriek they doubled their pace, stopping in the doorway to Brandon's room just as Jude's shaking hand managed to pull the closet door open.
On the other side of the door, Callie was standing motionless, her eyes wide, her face an ashen colour, and her breathing coming in strange puffs, her nostrils flared.
"Callie?" Jude and Brandon called simultaneously, concerned.
Jesus, on the other hand, couldn't find his voice, the look on his soon to be sister's face making his stomach twist in a painful knot. Something was really wrong and, whatever it was, he knew immediately that it was because he and Brandon had put her in that closet. He gulped.
Callie stood unmoving, blinking rapidly, for several moments before she seemed to get a hold of herself. She didn't say a word, she just bolted, pushing first past Jude and Brandon and then past Stef and Lena.
Stef and Lena shared a look for only a split second – Lena mouthing the word "go," and Stef immediately taking off in pursuit of Callie, without a second glance back into Brandon's room.
With Stef headed after Callie, Lena set her sights on the remaining occupants of the room. Jude looked like he was in shock, his crestfallen face making Lena's heart hurt. She started to walk towards him but Mariana got there first.
Wrapping her arm around Jude, Mariana pulled him closer to her, hugging him with all her might as she glanced up at her mother, "Go, I've got him." She figured Callie could probably use both parents right now.
"I…" Lena wanted to protest but she didn't know what to say. She was torn between wanting to be with Callie and wanting to stay here and comfort Jude. There was also the matter of needing to talk to Jesus and Brandon, who both looked incredibly confused on top of their obvious concern.
Seeming to sense her indecision, Jude startled Lena as he asked softly, "Can you please go make sure Callie is okay? She's probably scared." He wanted to go too but he thought it would be better if he didn't. He was hoping that Callie would tell Stef and Lena the stuff she wouldn't tell him, the stuff she thought she was protecting him from, like how much the closet scared her.
"Okay, sweetheart," Lena nodded slowly, walking closer to Jude and Mariana, running her hand over Jude's cheek and leaning in to place a kiss on his forehead. "Don't worry, it will be okay," she comforted him softly, glad when she saw his nod of agreement.
After that, Lena kissed Mariana's cheek, murmuring, "thank you," to her daughter, incredibly proud of the way she had immediately gone to comfort Jude.
Lena turned her eyes on Jesus and Brandon next, "I will be back to talk to you," she told them, before finally leaving the room in search of her wife and eldest daughter.
Once their mother had left, Mariana tilted her head in her brothers' direction and informed them, "You guys are idiots."
The glare Jude shot his brothers confirmed that he shared her opinion.
Jesus would usually protest, but he just ignored the insult. The truth was, right now he did sort of feel like an idiot. He was still confused too though, so he asked, "What just happened?" Hoping someone in the room would clue him in – he hated not knowing what was going on.
Mariana glanced down at Jude, waiting for his nod of approval before she would say anything. Squeezing the boys shoulder gently, she turned her eyes back to her brothers. "What just happened is that you just locked somebody who's scared of closets in a freaking closet." Mariana knew it wasn't really her brothers' fault, they hadn't known, so she softened her voice considerably as she revealed, "One of Callie's foster mother's used to lock her in a closet, like all of the time."
Brandon's face paled considerably at Mariana's words, his eyes drifting to the closet he had placed Callie in, wondering what kind of terrible memory he'd caused her to relive.
Mariana thought he looked like somebody had kicked him.
Jesus didn't look much better. "Oh," was the only horrified word he could manage.
Oh was about right.
xxxxxx
Even though Stef had left the room only seconds after Callie, she didn't catch up with the girl until she finally stopped running in the middle of the backyard.
Stef slowly approached Callie, who was standing perfectly still. "Callie?" She called softly.
Callie didn't turn around or move and at first Stef didn't think she'd heard her but then quiet words left the girl's mouth between shaky breaths. "I just needed air."
"Of course you did, baby," Stef hummed sympathetically, moving even closer to Callie so that they were now standing side by side, their arms touching. "Of course you did."
Callie didn't move away from Stef, she didn't move closer either though, she just continued to stand perfectly still, trying, unsuccessfully, to push memories of being locked in a closet out of her mind as her heart hammered wildly in her chest.
Stef noticed that Callie's breathing was still heavy – although whether that was from having been in the closet or from the running she'd done, Stef wasn't sure. Slowly she placed her hand on Callie's back, "sshh, just breathe, you're okay," she murmured, her eyes on the girl's ashen face as she rubbed soothing circles, waiting for her breathing to slow.
They stood there in silence, with the exception of Stef's occasional soft murmurings, until the back door opened and they both turned around to see who was coming to join them.
Stef still had her hand on Callie's back and she felt her sigh in what seemed to be relief at the sight of Lena. The reaction made her wonder who Callie hadn't wanted to see. Maybe the people who'd put her in the closet? At the thought, she felt a sudden flare of anger and she realized that she wanted so badly to yell at her eldest sons, even though, logically, she knew they hadn't meant any harm.
"Hi," Lena called softly to the two of them, stopping in front of Callie, her hand immediately reaching out to the girl, rubbing her arm comfortingly. "Are you okay honey?"
Callie said nothing. For reasons that she didn't really understand, the question caused tears to suddenly fill her eyes, threatening to spill over. Why wasn't she okay? Why did she have to be so upset about this anyway?
Lena shot Stef a quick look before questioning Callie softly again, "Sweetheart?" her voice was laced with concern.
Callie looked down at the ground, willing the tears to go away, wondering once more why she was so upset. It was just a stupid closet, it wasn't worth crying over. She nudged the grass with her foot, suddenly realizing that she was in her socks, not having stopped to put shoes on as she bolted out of the house. Knowing that Lena was waiting for an answer, eventually she shrugged one shoulder slowly, still not saying anything or removing her focus from the ground.
Lena knew that the shoulder shrug was Callie speak for no and she sighed quietly. "Honey, why don't we go sit down, huh?" All she really wanted to do was pull Callie into a hug and maybe never let go again.
Callie looked up slowly then, glancing between Stef and Lena, before biting her lip and shrugging both shoulders this time – Callie speak for I guess.
Stef placed her hands on Callie's shoulders and Lena grabbed one of her hands as they both guided her over to take a seat at the bench under the covered patio, essentially forcing her to sit between the two of them.
Once seated, Stef reached up and brushed some of Callie's wavy hair out of her face. The girl's skin was still much paler than usual and Stef didn't like that one bit.
Lena squeezed the hand she was still holding. "Were you scared sweetheart?" She asked softly.
Yes. The answer immediately entered Callie's head but she didn't say it out loud – she hated admitting to being scared. She closed her eyes but immediately blinked them back open, the flash of darkness too reminiscent of the darkness in the closet.
Stef's heart broke watching as Callie seemed to struggle. "Please talk to us baby," she whispered.
"We're right here, we're listening," Lena murmured her agreement as she squeezed Callie's hand again.
Callie remained silent for several moments, her wide eyes staring off into the distance, before she mumbled, "I don't like closets."
Stef almost laughed, she might have if Callie didn't look so broken. She shared a look with Lena across the top of Callie's head before she said, "We kind of already knew that sweets."
"I know," Callie sighed. She wasn't sure exactly what they wanted her to tell them – they already knew that one of her previous foster mother's had locked her in a closet. What else was there to say? Did they want her to tell them how terrible it was? Wasn't that obvious? She just wasn't good at this, at sharing. She was surprised though when she realized that she didn't want to say nothing, that she did want to talk to them. It was strange feeling for her. Finally she gave up on trying to figure out what to say, "Can you…will you just ask me?"
Lena frowned, not really following Callie's train of thought. "Ask you what sweetheart?"
Callie shrugged, looking down at her feet. "Anything…whatever you want. I…I don't know how to…I don't know what to say about it," she admitted quietly.
Lena shared another look with Stef, tears glistening in her eyes as she finally understood what Callie was telling her, that she had no clue how to share. The realization that Callie had been so alone for so long that he didn't even know how to express her thoughts hurt Lena's heart nearly as much as any confession about her past ever could.
Stef, equally as upset as Lena, was the first to find her voice. Running her hand over the top of Callie's head and leaning over and kissing her temple before asking, "Okay, how about…how old were you when you lived with the woman who locked you in a closet?" She picked the most inconspicuous question she could think of, although she had to grit her teeth to get the last part out without expressing any anger.
Callie blinked surprised – she hadn't expected the question to be so easy to answer. "Eleven."
Stef bit her lip to keep herself from sighing. She didn't really know why she had hoped Callie had been older when it happened, it wouldn't have made it any less horrific. She just didn't like picturing Callie being younger than Jude was now. She hated knowing just how much of her daughter's childhood had been stolen.
Lena followed Stef's question with one of her own, trying to push the image of Callie, practically still a baby, locked in a closet out of her mind. "How long did you live there?"
"Ten months," Callie answered immediately, relaxing a bit when the second question was equally as easy to answer as the first.
Lena closed her eyes, sucking in a deep breath as she followed up with another question. "How often did it happen?" Ten months was a really long time and she almost didn't want to hear this answer.
"Umm…lots," Callie bit her lip, the question was harder but not too difficult for her to answer. She paused as she tried to come up with an actually number, finally settling for, "once a week, at least." It had usually been more but not always.
Stef had to stop herself from doing the math in her head. She didn't need to know the exact number. Once had been once too much as far as she was concerned, so the frequency that Callie was suggesting was beyond horrifying for her to hear. "Oh baby," she murmured, her voice sounded pained, as she leaned over to kiss Callie once more, happy when Callie seemed to lean into the comfort she was offering.
Moments later, Stef thought of another question. She almost hesitated to ask it but she really did want to know the answer and she knew that Lena did too. "What about Jude?" Her words were quiet.
Callie scrunched up her forehead in confusion, not really understanding Stef's question at first. As realization suddenly dawned on her she shook her head vehemently, "nnn..no," she stuttered out, her eyes widening. "I wouldn't…I would never let that happen." It was sort of the truth. She would have tried her absolute best to keep Jude safe but, as she'd learned in other foster homes, that wasn't always possible. Luckily in this one she hadn't even had to try, he had been safe there.
"Hey, hey, sshh, it's okay," Lena calmed, her voice soothing, as she rubbed circles on the back of Callie's hand, reaching up to brush her hand across Callie's cheek.
Stef wanted to shout at Lena that 'no it certainly was not okay' but she calmed herself before she murmured to Callie, "Love, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you, we know you took good care of Jude." And they did know that – anyone just had to look at Jude to know that that was the truth. "But, Callie, baby," she continued, "you were eleven years old and…look at me a second…" Her next words were important and she waited for Callie's gaze to meet hers to murmur, "You were a child, you are a child, and it wasn't your job to keep Jude safe. You shouldn't have had to. Not then and not in any of your other foster homes."
Callie sighed, she had no clue how to even go about trying to process what Stef had just told her. As far as she was concerned, it didn't matter that she'd been, as Stef had put it, a child, of course it had been her job to keep Jude safe, no one else was going to do it. Instead of saying that though, she explained, "I didn't have to keep him safe there. She liked him. She was nice to him even. He was safe."
Stef sighed too – Callie seemed to have completely missed the point of what she'd said. Convincing her was something they were just going to have to work on later though because she was pretty sure that was going to take some time and right now she wanted to address what Callie had just said, or more, what Callie hadn't said.
Lena heard what Callie hadn't said as well and she shared a concerned look with Stef before she was the one to speak up. "Callie, sweetheart, just because that woman was nice to Jude, it didn't excuse what she did to you. It didn't make it okay." It took all of her control to keep venom from dripping from the words, that woman.
"I know that," Callie frowned at Lena's words.
"Do you really, love?" Stef questioned softly, honestly wondering if she did, fairly certain that she didn't.
Callie shrugged, glancing down towards her feet again. She wasn't going to right out admit anything. The truth was though that she'd spent a lot of time wondering what exactly had been wrong with her. She'd spent a lot of time wondering what had made her foster mother hate her so much when she'd liked Jude just fine. The truth was also that she'd felt incredibly relieved but also incredibly guilty when Bill had moved them out of that home – Jude had been safe there but he hadn't been safe in most of their next homes.
Stef hated the way Callie shrugged, the way her eyes seemed to be filled with nothing but sorrow. Her next words were firm, her voice filled with love. "Callie, listen to me. You are just as likeable as Jude, you are just as important, and you deserve to be safe just as much as he does."
Callie wasn't sure if she hated or loved that Stef could see right through her – she was leaning towards hate but there wasn't much she could do about it. She sighed again, suddenly exhausted, pulling her hand out of Lena's and leaning forward so that she could rest her head in her hands.
"It's the truth Callie," Lena told her, reinforcing Stef's words as she reached over and rubbed her now free hand across Callie's back, tracing aimless circles. After a few moments, she whispered softly to her, "We don't have to keep talking anymore if you don't want to." She knew Callie had a limit and she imagined they must be reaching it. She wanted Callie to know that they would always respect that limit.
Stef still had a half a million questions that she really wanted answered but she had to agree with Lena, Callie looked exhausted and maybe overwhelmed too. "Mama's right, we can stop now," she murmured, running her hand through Callie's hair, casually. "We really just need to know one more thing…" Lena looked over at her inquisitively and Stef winked at her wife before continuing "…should we ground Brandon and Jesus for one or two year?"
Callie immediately raised her head out of her hands and looked strangely over at Stef.
"I'm kidding, love," Stef shook her head, laughing lightly at the look on Callie's face, although she was a small bit concerned that Callie hadn't picked up right away that it had been a joke.
Callie knew that Stef's was kidding about the duration but she wasn't sure she was kidding about the whole thing. "You're not going to actually ground them are you?" She asked quietly. As much as she wished they hadn't put her in the closet, she knew they would never have done it if they'd known how much it would scare her. "It wasn't their fault…they didn't know it would…scare me so much." She bit her lip at the admission that she'd been scared.
Stef tried to hide her surprise when Callie admitted to being scared. Obviously she'd known that Callie had been scared, it was clear as day, but Callie wouldn't usually admit something like that – she'd completely evaded the question when Lena had asked it earlier. Based on the look on Lena's face, Stef guessed her wife was just as surprised and not succeeding particularly well in hiding it either.
Stef grabbed one of Callie's hands, bringing it to her lips and kissing it. She wasn't sure what they were going to do about the boys but if Callie really didn't want them to ground them, than she supposed they wouldn't. She looked at Lena who nodded her head ever so slightly, giving Stef the go ahead to shrug and proclaim, "Nah, we won't ground them."
"Good," Callie nodded as she offered Stef a small smile.
Stef smiled back, feeling her heart swell with love. "Oh Callie, do you even have any idea just how much we love you?" She couldn't hold back any longer, reaching forward and pulling Callie into a hug.
A split second later, Lena wrapped her arms around Callie as well, murmuring into the girl's hair, "Trust me, it's more than you could possibly ever know."
Callie closed her eyes then, pushing away the memory of that terrible closet and that terrible time in her life, and soaking up all of the love she was being offered.
The trio staid wrapped in each other's arms for several minutes before they slowly untangled themselves and got up.
As she stretched, Lena's eyes drifted towards the house, not really surprised at what she saw. "I think we have an audience," she motioned towards the kitchen window, where four heads were clearly visible.
Stef snorted, amused by the sight, although she glanced nervously at Callie wondering what her reaction would be. Callie seemed mostly unbothered though, so Stef suggested casually, "I think the monsters want to come out to play. Should we let them?"
Callie just nodded slowly. Those monsters were her siblings and even though a part of her was highly embarrassed and would rather avoid them until they forgot all about what had happened upstairs, she knew that that wasn't really possible. So, she figured she may as well just get it over with.
At Callie's agreement, Stef motioned to her children in the window, indicating that it was okay for them to come outside.
Jude was the first to make it to Callie, slamming into his sister with so much force that he nearly knocked her over.
"Nice to see you too buddy," Callie laughed, hugging him back.
"You're okay?" He mumbled into her shirt, clinging tighter.
"Mmhm," she confirmed, kissing the top of his head and whispering into his hair, "How about you?"
"Mmhm," Jude's response mimicked hers.
He held on a moment longer before pulling back and letting Mariana take his place. Her hug was a lot shorter but it came with a smirked, "Don't worry, I gave them hell," which made Callie laugh.
Brandon moved towards her next, stopping just shy of touching distance in front of her, and sliding his hands into his pockets. He searched her face for a long moment before offering a quiet, remorseful, and sincere, "I'm sorry." He didn't attempt to hug her, even though he wanted to, he didn't want to make things awkward.
Callie offered him a lopsided a smile, "I know."
Jesus was much more hesitant to approach and it wasn't until Stef shoved his shoulder, murmuring, "She doesn't bite," that he shuffled closer to Callie.
Jesus stopped beside Brandon, rocking on the balls of his feet as he raised his eyes to meet Callie's gaze. "I'm…uh…sorry. Like, you don't even know how sorry," he rushed out, "Like really really really really…"
"Jesus stop," Callie cut him off. "It's okay, really." She smiled slowly at him, running her hand through her hair, "Just…umm…don't put me in anymore closets, okay?"
The grin that Jesus gave her then was contagious. "You definitely don't have to worry about that." He rocked on his feet again, tilting his head. "But…uh…you're going to have to, like, tell me if there's other stuff I'm not supposed to do because I don't want to be responsible for that again." He glanced over his shoulder at Stef and Lena before looking back at Callie, stage whispering, "Moms would kill me."
Even though Jesus was asking her for something she wasn't sure she could give him – she was still working on this whole sharing thing – Callie couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips. "Don't worry, I won't let them," she told him.
"This is why you are officially my favourite," Jesus declared.
"Hey…" Mariana jokingly protested from beside Callie, "I'm your twin, I'm supposed to be your favourite."
Jesus shrugged one shoulder at her, "Sorry?" He said, not sounding particular apologetic.
Mariana just feigned an unimpressed look.
At her look, Jesus bounded forward, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing tighter than necessary, spinning her around once. "Come on Mariana, you know I love all of my siblings."
Mariana snorted, suppressing a laugh as she told him, "If I say okay will you let me go?"
"Uh-uh," Jesus shook his head, although he did loosen his hold, unwrapping one of his arms from her, leaving the other draped around her shoulder. "Then you'd miss out on the awesome group hug."
"Group hug?" Jude was the one to ask confused. "What group hug?"
"The one we're having right now," Jesus answered as if it were clear as day. When no one said anything or moved he added, "Well? What are you all waiting for?"
Everyone laughed then.
Through the laughter, Stef shared a long look with Callie. Callie just shrugged at her, grinning as she grabbed Jude's hand, pulling him with her closer to Jesus and Mariana. Stef and Lena, and then Brandon followed her lead and within moments Callie had become the center of a Foster family group hug.