A/N: A rewrite of my old RRT story, which I deleted because of hundreds of reasons. I write this only because of my boredom and I've been dying to write something Harry Potter. This is just for fun! Alrighty, kids?

Riddle Rina This

Chapter 1

Something was shining on the wall ahead. They approached slowly, squinting through the darkness. Foot-high words had been daubed on the wall between two windows, shimmering in the light cast by the flaming torches.

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened
Enemies of the air beware :)

The voices of students died, the clacks of their feet stopping as they gathered around the Golden Trio who stared up at the blood writing on the wall. But rather than stare open-mouthed in fear, they merely blinked dumbfounded.

"Enemies of the air beware?"

"Isn't it supposed to be H-E-I-R?"

"Why is there a smiley face?"

A girl in the crowd ducked her head, soon slithering towards the back between the students. Her dark blue-black hair was pinned high in a single clip, the lush strands twisted and partly braided, with the ends curled just above her shoulders. Her dark green eyes were slightly wider behind the round, black-wire glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.

"Whoops," She muttered.

"I gave you ONE JOB!" The boy next to her fumed, running a hand through his dark hair. She was sure that if he had a physical body, and his pale skin had flesh and blood, it would turn red.

"Calm down! It's just a small typo . . . "

"And why, Rina, did you put one of your ridiculous smiley faces?"

With a sheepish grin, Rina said, "Because . . . putting 'less than three' would have given me away?"

The boy unceremoniously slapped his palm to his forehead, groaning loudly. Why, oh why, was he stuck with this useless muggle-sympathizing . . . sigh. Sometimes it was hard being the charming Tom Riddle.

Clasping her hands behind her back, she grinned and swayed from side to side. "Besides, don't you think it looks nicer? I mean, the way you wanted it made it look downright depressing. Now everyone can look at the petrified cat on the floor with a smile!"

"Nice was not what I was going for you blubbering idiot! I am supposed to be striking fear into people's hearts!" he snapped.

The girl deadpanned. With an offended sniff Rina crossed her arms and turned away from him. "Calling me names is bullying. I will not tolerate bullying. When you wish to apologize, I will be over there, waiting."

"What? Would you just –" Tom started, but his body suddenly lurched forward as she began to stomp away. Despite being bonded to her because of the diary, thus following her wherever she went whether he liked it or not, Rina continued to ignore him.

Now, how did this unlikely duo come to be? That . . . Is an excellent question.

-enemiesoftheheirbeware-

The diary was shabbier than she expected. The leather cover was moist and damaged, and the pages on the inside were yellowed on the edges before browning around the middle. However, it was a really old book and, honestly, the ancient-ness of it gave it character.

But how was she supposed to introduce herself to possibly the most powerful wizard who wasn't Harry Potter?

She had to write something cool, maybe clever. She must impress the old soul magically trapped within these pages by her wit and woes . . .

I'M WRITING IN A BALD MAN'S DIARY! WEEEEEEE – She ended the last 'E' by scribbling a giant swirl across the page.

There was a long moment that passed before her writing disappeared, replaced by neat, thick handwriting.

. . . Ginny?

Nope! Mwahahahaha!

How did you obtain this diary? What have you done with Ginny?

How does a wizard dude with a God complex have a diary? I mean seriously, it's so girly like what would you write? 'Dear Diary, today my potions teacher was mean to me so I put tacs in his chair.'

It's more of a journal, actually.

But you said 'diary'.

I wrote diary – that's not the point! What have you done with Ginny?

Chillax, Riddle-man! I took it from her. Obviously. *scoffs*

Why? Return it to her at once! This di—journal does not belong to you! Why do you use such odd language?

America, land of the free bitches! :) Besides, judging by the entirely cliché name printed on the cover, it's not Ginny's either.

What?

BOOM! Lawyered!

That is not a word.

It is now.

You cannot just make up words . . . Why on Earth did you steal my diary?

Because I was bored. My only friend here got sorted into another house.

And yes. Yes, I can make up words.

I see, you are still at Hogwarts. Please, do tell, what house are you sorted?

Why?

I'm curious of my new holder.

Wow, you dumped Ginny fast.

I did not 'dump' her. My diary was simply taken and now I am stuck with you.

Rude.

Take it as you will, it is the truth. I assume you are in Griffindor?

Nope. Ugh, how cliché! I begged the hat not to sort me into Griffindor or Hufflepuff. Not that I have anything against Hufflepuff, it's just not me, you know?

Hufflepuff is not a fitting house for intelligence -

Hey! Hey! Don't be dissin' the Hufflepuffles, give them some cred, yo!

You speak so odd again . . .

Sorry, still trying to adjust to the 'British' lingo here. I told a classmate I didn't like tea and they gave me a horrified look and slowly backed away. Which is sad, considering they're in Slytherin.

Slytherin, you say?

Yup. Damn, wish I got into Slytherin - heeyy, Why are you so interested in me all of the sudden?

I'm a diary, I collect the thoughts of others, tis what I am, you know.

Mmmhmmmmm

I don't understand . . .

Okay, if we're going to do this whole magic texting-thing, you're gonna have to learn a few modern things like ttyl and btw.

'Ttyl'?

Talk to you laterz!

It is an acronym? You speak in acronyms in your time?

Not speak, text! We have these cool nifty devices that we can text on to communicate to each other across the world. Ahhhh, technology, how I miss it!

It sounds awfully like some muggle invention.

Mugga-wha?

Muggle. Non-magical creature. Have you no knowledge of the magical realms vocabulary?

Of course I do! I just learned yesterday I'm supposed to be calling my teachers 'Professors'. Gosh, you England folk sure do things weird. Anyways, it doesn't matter, you don't really have cellphones in this time anyways. That's not till like waaaayyy later . . . I think.

What do you mean by that?

I mean cellies aren't invented yet, my silly no-nosed friend.

I don't understand, are you saying this 'cellie' device has not been created yet or is this some nonsensical fantasy?

Heehee, you said 'Cellies'.

. . . Are you mad? Answer my question.

Of course I'm mad! We're all mad here, I'm mad, you're mad!

That's not what I meant! I do not spout such nonsense like you!

I gasp at your failed Alice in Wonderland reference!

Alice in what?

Oh, my good, no-nosed, bald friend, I have much to teach you.

Why do you keep insisting that I have no nose and I am bald?

Because you are?

I have no physical appearance, we have never met – or so I assume. Do not say such things.

Mwahahahaha

What is that supposed to be?

An evil laugh! MWAHAHAHAHA!

. . . You know, if I were to rule the world, you would be the first to go.

You need to get laid, my good friend.

A/N: Just a fun story I hope we can all enjoy. But now that our two characters have gotten to know each other a little, we can spin off from there, teeheehee!

Since this is the first chapter, tell me what you think! What clichés do you want me to avoid with fun fics like this? How accurate do you want everything to be when it comes to character and/or canon schedules?

Please review! You know you want too~!