Chapter One

And Off We Go Again

Wednesday 12:20 PM

"You're kidding me," Yusuke said, while next to him Kuwabara was busy making inarticulate raging noises.

"I assure you, I am entirely serious," Koenma replied from where he was perched on a chair in one of the precious spaces of Yusuke's floor not coated in a fine layer of scattered clothing and forgotten papers. Yusuke sat on his bed, leaning back against the wall behind him, an expression of disbelieving annoyance on his face.

"Um… I don't know if ya'll remember this, but I'm pretty sure Sakyo offed himself at the end of the last tournament. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I coulda sworn he was in charge."

"You're not entirely incorrect," Koenma replied, "For the past few decades the Dark Tournament has been funded, constructed, and run by the Black Black Club. But the tournament itself existed long before Sakyo was born. For centuries the Black Tournament has been run by a collection of people, sometimes human, sometimes demon. But behind every tournament committee has been the hands of the three kings of Demon World."

Yusuke frowned, "The three kings of Demon World? Let me guess, boy band?"

"Currently the Demon World is divided between three empires under three monarchs," Kurama said from the corner where he sat across from the door. "They are Mukuro, Yomi, and Raizen."

"Okay. And, why the hell are some demon royals supporting a bunch of humans gambling on pay per view demon fights?"

"The Dark Tournament provides a similar function to the Colosseums of Rome," Kurama replied. "It offers a space for lower class demons to fight, exhaust themselves, and die so that they don't become much of a nuisance to society. At the same time it provides a space for higher-class demons to wrestle, show their force, and fight amongst each other, which keeps them amused and stops them from becoming restless and plotting rebellions.

"The kings never get their hands dirty, and never set foot in the tournament. But they use their power to ensure that the tournament continues to run in the case that the stadium is destroyed, or they lose a tournament committee."

Yusuke frowned. "If that's the case, then aren't we fighting the wrong battle?" he asked. "I mean, are you telling me that this tournament is the only thing keeping demon world from turning into a bunch of elaborate musical numbers about some guy who stole a loaf of bread."

Koenma blinked, shook his head as if hoping that by shaking those words around in his brain they'd come up in an order that made sense. And when this inevitably failed asked, "Excuse me?"

"It's a reference to human culture," Kurama explained. "Though I didn't peg you as the Les Mis type."

Yusuke just shrugged. "Keiko's nuts for it."

Kurama continued. "That's not entirely correct, though quelling resistance is certainly part of the tournament's purpose. I'm sure you've realized that within demon world there is a wide spread culture of belligerence—"

"Whoa! How about words half that size, preferably in English," Yusuke cut in.

Kurama stopped and summarized. "I'm sure that you've noticed that demons like to fight."

Yusuke gave him a look. "Uh, yeah, I think I managed that deduction about 5 minutes after meeting Goki. It solidified somewhere between Hiei punching my brains in, and him slamming me into the wall."

"The Dark Tournament provides a space for that violence to be released. It also provides a time and a place for the reestablishment and testing of the social order. Demonic social standing is dictated by strength. It's like with you and Kuwabara. He used to test you daily in an attempt to gain social standing over you by challenging you to fight, and everyday the two of you would reestablish that Yusuke is dominant."

"Hey!" came Kuwabara's insulted protestation. Kurama ignored it.

"The Dark Tournament is essentially what would happen if the two of you had decided that every month you'd meet at a specific time and place to fight and reassert dominance. And between those times there would be a kind of peace."

"…I feel like I just got my entire life explained to me like a discovery channel special. We gonna discuss my mating rituals next?"

"I would prefer not to at the moment," Kurama replied perfectly smoothly and seriously. "However if your mother's explanation was lacking I am willing to fill in the ga—"

"MOVING ON NOW!" Kuwabara cut in over Kurama while Yusuke just laughed.

"In any case—" Yusuke said. "If the demons need to duke some shit out, let them duke their shit out. I don't see why we need to get involved if they're just establishing the pecking order."

"We want you involved," Koenma replied, "because the five demons at the top of the pecking order get a wish fulfilled by the tournament committee. You may remember that before competing Toguro was a lower class human. He left as a B class demon."

That quieted Yusuke. His expression turned to one of confusion with an undertone of sadness. "How do you even do that?" he asked. "Turn a human into a demon."

"Money, and connections," Koenma replied somberly. "If your client is driven and doesn't fear unknown outcomes, then you can find many scientists within the demon trade who would give their right arm for some human experimentation. With enough money you can find someone who might not kill you in the process."

Kuwabara and Yusuke both shuddered. Koenma sat back in his seat and surveyed the two of them.

"Can I trust that you see why this is important?"

Yusuke frowned, giving as sigh as he leaned back against the window again. "Yeah, I guess…"

"So I have your agreement that you'll compete?"

"Wait, I have a choice?" Yusuke asked perking up.

"No."

"Then why the hell'd you ask?"

"Because I like to let you pretend."

"Hey Koenma, come over here. I've got something for ya."

"And that, I think, is my queue to leave," Koenma said, standing. "Kurama will talk to you about the logistics of training and preparation. If you need me, use Yusuke's two way mirror."

Kurama nodded, "We will, safe travel."

Koenma turned with a flourish of his entirely unnecessary cloak and left the room. They waited as the door closed and Koenma's footsteps faded, then vanished. Then Yusuke turned to Kurama.

"So what's your take on this?"

"I have a number of them," Kurama replied, shifting from his isolated chair in the corner to take Koenma's seat closer to the two teenagers on the bed. "Which I will explain in time. For the moment we must discuss the logistics of the next tournament. Our first item of concern is safety."

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Pretty sure that's not the point of the tournament. I think the 'safety measures' that apply there are: hit things until you're sure they're not gonna kill you."

"I'm talking about pretournament," Kurama replied lightly. "Last year we won with three humans and one half human. There are a lot of demon factions who were not happy about that result. They've been relatively calm since the end of the tournament. However when word gets out that we are competing again, whatever immunity protected you will vanish. The two of you must prepare to raise your caution level. I will council both of you on basic safety measures.

"I have already discussed the matter with Master Genkai and we have agreed that it will be safest if the team moves in with her for the next few months until the tournament. Her temple is shielded against prying eyes and remote weapon—"

"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold up," Kuwabara cut in. "Are you trying to tell me that you think demons are gonna come hunting us down just because we're gonna compete?"

"More importantly, why do we care?" asked Yusuke. "I mean really. I get demons trying to bash my brains in every other week. So, what? It'll be every other day? Screw it at this point I'll take the excitement."

Kurama fixed Yusuke with the kind of glance you generally get when your dad's explaining that Santa's not real.

"Yusuke every demon you've met so far has been either playing with you or… less than optimally intelligent. Furthermore, they've all been operating under 'establish pecking order' parameters. They haven't been trying to kill you. A well-trained assassin will not corner you in a dark alleyway and challenge you there. Anyone intelligent wouldn't use the Makai insects to create a zombie army, they'd use them to make your mother slit your throat in the middle of the night, or poison your food. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Yusuke nodded uncertainly. Kuwabara had gone pale beside him. Kurama gave a soft, reassuring smile.

"I am sorry to be so graphic, but I must warn you as to the danger that you're in. We will leave for Genkai's temple by Saturday. I must ask that you bring anyone who can be used to blackmail you along."

Yusuke winced. "Ah yeah. Keiko's gonna love that." Suddenly he stopped, a thought occurring to him. "Wait, what about your mom? Isn't she going to be in danger too?"

Kurama smiled. "I will take care of that. Do not concern yourself. Once we are at Genkai's temple we will begin running logistics for the tournament. Figuring out how we will select our fifth member will be the main article on the agenda. I've already discussed it with Genkai to some extent."

"Just the fifth?" Kuwabara asked. "You really think the pipsqueek's gonna work with us again?"

"Koenma still has some leverage over him, though you are correct in that it will not last. I will go to him soon and learn his stance definitively. But until then we will assume that he is on our side," Kurama replied.

Yusuke frowned. "Can we ask Jin, or that Chu guy to join us?"

Kurama shook his head. "I've thought of that. Jin, Chu, Touya, Suzuka, and Shishiwakamaru have forged their own team with Rinku as a sixth back up member."

Yusuke perked up at this. "Aw, nice! So we'll get to see those guys again!"

Kurama nodded. "And even more valuable, they are less likely to wish for disastrous things for the Human World if they win. Which means that we effectively have two teams in the race."

Of course we have no real certainty behind their motives, but Yusuke does not need to know that today.

Yusuke sat back in thought. "Hmmm… What if we ran a competition? Kinda like how granny auditioned for an apprentice."

"We considered that as well," Kurama said. "But what Genkai does not have a good test for is motive. We need to find a person capable of fighting who won't wish for something damaging to the Human World if we win. We must trust them not to sabotage us, sell out our secrets, manipulate us against each other, or murder us in our sleep."

Yusuke and Kuwabara had that look again and Kurama carefully kept his sigh to himself. He couldn't help but wonder what would become of these two if they ever ended up living with the kind of threats that he'd been under back when he'd been a thief—

That wasn't true. He wasn't wondering anything. His brain was perfectly capable of providing a visual of two corpses in response to that question.

"Right then… Do we have a way of testing for that?"

Kurama tilted an eyebrow. "Yusuke, when you discover a test for motive you may proceed to take over the world as you please."

Yusuke grinned. "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I mean, can we, like, spiritually polygraph them or something?"

Kurama shook his head again. "Firstly, polygraphs are ineffective on humans. Secondly the amount of effort that it takes for a demon to manipulate the results are minimal."

"Are there like, truth spells, or truth serums you can use? What about veritaserum?"

"Yusuke, I don't know how to break this to you, but you're not in Harry Potter."

"Damn."

"And no."

"Double damn."

Kurama stood from his chair. "For the time being we will leave the question open and discuss it further with Genkai. You two should begin preparations to relocate and inform your families and intimate relations."

Yusuke raised an eyebrow. " 'Intimate relations'? Did you know that you talk like a bad court drama?" he asked.

"Wait a second!" Kuwabara suddenly nearly fell out of his chair. "Doesn't Yukina live with Genkai?!"

Kurama nodded.

"Jesus Kuwabara, the love of your life and you don't fucking remember where she's been living for the last year?"

"I know where she's been living Urameshi!" Kuwabara snapped. "I just didn't realize—We'll get to spend an entire month together!"

Kurama concluded that this was not something he needed to be subjected to and excused himself from the room. He had his own matters to attend to.

A/N Thank you for reading this chapter. I'll have it updated by next Friday at the latest. Insert obligatory plead for reviews here, and have a lovely weekend.