Ch1 : No One Cares

Sometimes I see her in the hallways with her big dorky glasses. Sometimes she has her hands interlaced with a guy on the football team. Sometimes she's in the bathroom reapplying her makeup. Sometimes she asks me if her outfit looks okay. Sometimes she makes me jealous. Sometimes she makes me sad. Sometimes she makes me smile. She's Anna.

I'm always the kid that she feels bad for. The new girl that never made any friends. The girl in her math class that would rather type out messages on a calculator than talk to somebody. The girl who would always stutter whenever she would talk to her. The girl who had socially awkward taped on her forehead. I'm Elsa.

I crave for her attention. I try to catch her attention. But she only talks to her friends about the guy who made her night last night. I feel like I can talk to her but once her friends appear I'm as small as a fucking cell. Why can't I do this? It's just a simple "Hey" or "What's up?" but I can't. And why would she want someone like me near her anyways. She's too good for me. She deserves better. She deserves the best.

Math class is hell that I endure every day. I have to sit behind Anna and her friends. Just the way she talks is amazing. The way her lips move to make sound was amazing. She was amazing. Her friends would occasionally look back at me and giggle. I just ignore. Conceal don't feel is my motto. I live by it.

"Okay class today I have assigned you into groups to finish the Theorem research," Mr. Wilcox, our math teacher stated in front of the classroom.

I zoned out after the first sentence. I had nothing to worry about. I already know every theorem in existence. My group won't give a shit about this project, so I will probably have to do the project myself. But I'm used to it. Nobody in this school cares.

The moment I looked up I saw her staring down at me with a perfect, straight, clean smile. I was frozen all I could do was stutter out awkwardly.

"H-h-h-hi Anna."

"Hey Elsa. I'm paired with you for the Theorem research," Anna said totally unfazed by my stuttering. Wow she was so nice. Most people would've asked what mental problem I had by now.

"O-oh yeah. Cool."

"So do you want to meet at your house or mine?," Anna asked.

"H-h-houses?," I pathetically stuttered out.

"Yeah silly, I'm not gonna let you do the project by yourself," Anna chuckled.

I could feel my insides growing warmer each second. She was so kind to me. What did I do to deserve this?

"Um. It doesn't really matter." Wow I actually got that sentence out without stuttering.

"Mine it is," Anna stated, "Lets meet tomorrow after school. Unless that's not good with you."

I couldn't get any other words out so I just shook my head.

"Alright, cool. See ya tomorrow Elsa!," Anna said cheerfully as she left the classroom.

I can't believe that just happened. I am going to be alone with Anna. I hope that she won't shove me out of her life. That's happened too many times to me.

I know that even though the school day's over I can't relax. I have to still go home. I have to face the people who don't even want me anymore. Why do people bring children into this world if they aren't going to love them? I can't tell you the answer yet because it's a mystery.

I get into the bus and ignore the stares I get. Conceal don't feel. I immediately sat down in the first seat, that way I could get off the bus faster. I hate the rude comments people say about me when I'm in earshot. But in the end no one really cares who gets hurt if they get satisfaction.

The bus finally makes it to my stop. I get up as soon the doors open and bolt out. I can hear their laughs from inside the bus. As I make it to my front steps I know my day is going to get worse starting from the moment I step inside of this door. But I don't hesitate because I have nowhere else better to be. Nowhere else wants me.

As soon as I gently swing the front door open and shut my father is calling me over to the couch. My father is a dangerous drunk. I don't think it's a good sign when you start to fear your own parents. My father has never given me a hug. He has never said "I love you" or "I'm proud of you" to me. The only things he would say to me were "You fucking dyke get some dick. That'll change your mind" or "Get me another drink bitch," He knows that I cry every night. He knows the blades hidden under my bed. But once again he doesn't care.

"Stay in your room today. Hmmmkayy?," my father slurred out, "Your mother and I need some business to dooo. Hmpph."

I nod my head. I don't really care at this point. I don't care that my parents treat me like a unwanted pet. I don't care that no one looks out for me. Because all I have now is myself.