Sorry for the bad english again!

To listen during the reading :

Sciences/Visions - Chvrches

Your Body is a Machine - The Good Natured

Of course he couldn't sleep. All he could think about was this warm, beautiful body so close to his. Dômeki was turned by the window, lying on his side. He didn't want to see Boss's face while he slept. This would be too tempting, too delicious – too painful, nay. The silence was overwhelming, only letting Yashiro's breath sing him to sleep. Dômeki, on the contrary, was trying so hard no to breath. Not to let his own breath mingle with Yashiro's. There was something odd of staring the darkness, convincing himself that he was alone in this room. This was hard – when he could finally believe in this lie, Yashiro moved, sighed or changed sides. At the end, he couldn't deny there was this tasty, delicate body just behind his back.

Finally, Dômeki took his courage and turned himself to Yashiro's side. As he was hoping, the Boss was deeply asleep, his chest rising and falling to the rhythm of his elfin breath. The boydguard looked down at his sleeping face, so perfect in this moment. There was no wince, no grin, no frown – only the delectable expression he wore at night. Calm, carefree. It was too flawless. His blond, almost white hair, his tired eyes he loved so much to be seen with, these pale cheeks never blushing, this thin nose he'd never touched, and above all ; these snide lips, just waiting for Dômeki's to come closer. It seemed like everything on his face was pushing him to do this, to kiss him, right now, here, in the second. But something prevented him to do so. Maybe it was the fear of waking him up, or the violence of his desire, tearing him apart each time he laid his eyes on him. Moreover, this was something different. Suddenly, he realized he'd never seen someone kissing him. Were Yashiro's lips this pure and innocent ? This thought was grievous, making him want these even more. Nevertheless, he felt like he didn't have the right to do such a dangerous thing.

Deep inside him, he knew Yashiro would fire him in the second.

"The Boss is beautiful," he said to the silence, as he couldn't take his eyes off of him.

Their relationship was so sticky and blurred. If only the Boss could tell the words, giving him the right to get closer. That was always the Boss's move. It was always him that got closer to Dômeki, always him that wrecked the distance between the two of them. He had all control – and Dômeki was painfully undergoing the delicious thing. All these times Boss's hands had been on his body, all these times Boss's mouth had touched his member, all these times he didn't make a move, his stomach getting knotted. That was it – he was dying to take the Boss's face in his hands, to bring him closer, to look him in the eyes in which he desperately wanted to see a flame of desire.

Yes, he wanted him so much that it was painful. And all he could do was to watch him while he slept, the only time during which he couldn't get caught. Damn, he was so beautiful. Without even realizing what he was doing, Dômeki's left hand was running down Yashiro's skin. He caressed his cheek with his thumb and his index, barely daring to touch him freely.

"What the hell is that ?" a voice said in a whisper.

Dômeki, his eyes wide open, was completely freaking out. The Boss was awake ; he had awakened him ; he had been caught his hands on him. What a shame. His face got all red, blushing in the dark and hoping for it not to be discovered. Dômeki was about to remove his hand with a quick and frightened movement, but something just stopped him, squeezing it with seriousness. Yashiro's.

"Since when do you cuddle me in your sleep ?"

He didn't answer. What could he say ? That was humiliating. And Yashiro's eyes were penetrating him.

"Moreover, are you dumb ? Who told you to get your hands off ?"

Dômeki lost his breath. His heart was beating so fast he once thought he'd die in the minute. Was Yashiro saying to keep his hands on him until further notice ? The heck. The Boss was playing again. He was still squeezing his wrist, so hard it was aching. But he did not have the right to get rid of it. He'd been caught : now he'd to pay to price. The punishment. Yashiro was looking at him, no, staring more exaclty. His eyes didn't blinked once. It was like he was waiting for Dômeki to do the next move. And when he finally tried to discard Yashiro's grip, surprisingly, the Boss didn't resisted.

"I'm worry," he said, with this shy and low voice, always full of shame and confusion.

But Yashiro didn't want any excuse. He wanted something else.

"You moron. Don't stop it now."

He was frowning and his eyes were tough, harsh. It sounded like an order, but not from the Boss. From Yashiro.

They straightened up and Dômeki lost his breath again. He wanted to touch him so badly, and now, he was ordered to do it. Yet, confused, he was dying to touch him again. Dômeki gently put his hands on Yashiro's cheeks, holding his head with a surprising ease. His heart was beating louder, and louder ; and faster. Yashiro put one of his hands on Dômeki's wrist again, but he didn't do anything, letting him continue. The Boss was looking at him, so calm, but could feel like a glimmer of impatience, glowing in his eyes. This was the thing, the signal he needed – and Dômeki ran his hands through his hair, feeling a cloud of desire growing in him. Crap. He didn't want to be discovered again. If the Boss found out how impotent he was not anymore, it'd be the end. However, something was shouting in his ears, pushing him to get closer anyway. So be it.

"I bet your heart is ready to explode, isn't it ? Come closer."

Dômeki obeyed. Now he was so close to him that he had to move his legs over his, encircling him, as Yashiro was doing the same thing with him. Their chests were so near he almost could feel Yashiro's heart beating against him. Fuck. It was too delicious. His entire body was trembling, trembling of desire, trembling of fear, impatience, apprehension, confusion. Yashiro noticed it ; and he kind of smiled, catching his eyes with his.

"You know, I'm the office's slut. But there is something weird I can admit. You are the only one who came to my place. And the only one I didn't begged to bang me. I like the pain, I absolutely love it. But being close to you is enough. Well…" he started, his voice getting lower and lower, making his heart beat wilder again. "It was."

Something burst around them. He didn't know what exactly. The last centimeters between them, or his own heart, he didn't know : all he could notice was that Yashiro had never been so implicit, so sincere. Suddenly, he realized he was almost ordering him to do it. To bang him. But he knew – no, he believed Dômeki was impotent. Dômeki's presence was enough to feel the pain, he had said. And now, it just wan't enough anymore ? His cheeks became warm and his breath was out of control.

"How funny. You're the only one who does not want to fuck me. And you're the only… I crave so badly it hurts."

Ouch.

His heart died. Just there, now.

He couldn't believe it was Yashiro's words. Was it a dream or something ? But before he got the chance to get an answer, Yashiro was talking again.

"You can do what you want with me. I'll let it go. But if you dare to kiss me, just once… you'll be finished."

Dômeki bowed his head, disappointed. He'd be fired. Of course.

"I'll definitely want to make you come."

Ouch again. How delicious were the Boss's words, those he never thought he'd hear – alive, anyway. His heartbeat's melody was so sweet – and the fact of being so close to him was definitely enjoyable, and cunning. But some questions were there, scraping him, and he had to ask for answers.

"I thought you'd get bored.

- Yes, I probably will.

- But… he started, confused.

- But I never really kissed someone. Not someone like you, someone I am thirsty for. And I fucking want you, right now, to kiss these ones," and he put his fingers on his lips to accompany the words.

Dômeki panicked. He did want to kiss him, that was all I ever dreamed of the last few weeks, waking up feverish and soaking each time. But now, all he could see was the end of the story. Kissing him now meant to get pushed away later – and he surely didn't want such an awful thing. He was here to watch over the Boss, to make sure he lives. Even, to give his own life to save Boss's one. He was entirely ready to do that. But to leave it all behind by a simple kiss, taking the huge risk of being rejected, of losing him, it was too difficult. His body was burning and he could feel sweating drops in his back. However, even if he wanted these lips more than anything, he chose safety. Being near to him all this time was better to be close to him one night only. Dômeki definitely not wanted to be another name of the list. And thinking about him, bored and weary, was too painful to take the risk.

"No."

Yashiro widened his eyes, astonished. What ? All this time, he was teasing him, making him want to give up – and finally, his subordinate declined the offer he didn't give to anyone ? How laughable. He frowned, suddenly angry, because he couldn't accept the idea of letting him go. He was so close, so close to taste his lips, to taste his body, to breath his smell, to catch his heart. Now it all sounded like a joke. For the first time, someone was pushing the Boss away. The blond looked at him with fury eyes, and his voice became aggressive and sharp.

"What the hell, you fucking brat. Did you just say 'no' ?

- I'm sorry, Boss.

- You're always sorry. Fuck. Are you dumb ?"

These were harsh words. He was "the Boss" again. The unmoved and rude Boss. The one always acting disrespectfully, throwing insults to the world, teasing the people's sex desires. But unlike previous times, this angry thing seemed, according to Dômeki, to be justified. He fucked up. But it was too late to get things right, and he painfully chased the pleasant idea of kissing the Boss's lips, those he silently wanted all these nights.

"I think I am, Boss."

And without a word, he got up, getting away from Yashiro's grip. He went out of bed and stood there, in front of Yashiro's hurt face, his shirt open, teasing the Boss with this skin he could have touched if things had turned out differently.

"Don't think I am not interested. But, Boss, this is risky business."

And he left. Like he did yesterday evening, with leaving Dômeki alone in the room, stealing his liberty. There, Dômeki just did the same to him. Fair justice, he once thought, but he still sounded like bitterness shit. The door slammed, and soon, there was only silence and disappointment.