I remember it perfectly, the moment I was born. I materialized though thin air, unlike other ties that were made in factories! No, don't laugh, I'm being serious! I don't know the details either, so don't ask. All I know is one second I didn't exist, then suddenly I did.

I was already tied neatly too, as a part of a uniform of some sort. Red, white and blue color scheme. I could see it because the owner was looking in a mirror curiously. It wasn't super tacky, but I think I'd look a lot better on something else, like a nice suit...

And my owner was talking to himself. Laughing like a maniac, and making faces in the mirror. Of course, I had never seen what qualified as a 'normal person', because I had just been born, but at this point I was kinda sure he wasn't normal.

What do I even start with?! For starters, the guy puts on a nice front to everyone. I saw him acting crazy so I know all about him, and tell the other kid's ties. Even they're fooled, they don't believe me! Talk about two-faced. I have to admire his acting skills a little, even if he's trying to fool middle-schoolers.

His hair. I've only seen it in mirrors and reflections because it's on the top of his head, but dang. Even for this world it's crazy! I mean, it looks normal at first. Sort of. I mean, it's a normal ginger color despite the fact he doesn't have freckles. And the bangs look kind of normal, too, besides the fact they could put an eye out from being so sharp. But then you look up and it's huge! That must be where he's hiding his secrets. It looks like some kind of vegetable, I don't know the name because I'm just a tie.

I was starting to wonder just how long carrot-head (that's what it was called-!) was going to keep up this stupid act. Not forever, surely. Because with every new school year the ties changed colors. That means I wouldn't get to see him reveal it! What would be the purpose of doing this all if he wasn't going to tell them in some dramatic fashion?! I was almost looking forward to it...

I could see the kids getting more attached to Owner, and I felt a little jealous. They didn't really know him, not like I did. They were just drawn to his dumb persona. Poor Owner, having to play dumb. Being that he was my owner, I was rooting for him regardless of how crazy he or his hair was.

And finally after it seemed like weeks were dragging on, owner revealed himself to shrimp-head! But...as a Barian's cardigan. Oh, guardian, not cardigan. Secretly I had hoped he said cardigan too because that would mean I'd get a warm fuzzy jacket thing on me. Oh well. I can still hope I'll still be around in winter to get it.

Owner's subordinate drank up the lies. I told subordinate's tie what was really going on and it didn't believe me, shouting that I was crazy! Well, it would see in a while. Or not, maybe he would wear a different outfit when my owner really revealed himself. A startling though, what if after he did that he didn't wear me again?! What if he traded me for cheap leather and a tee-shirt?! No, that was crazy talk. Owner would look awful in leather.

A man kidnapped me and Owner. Well, not exactly a normal human. Neither was owner though, of course. This guy was missing a mouth and nose, and was grey though, so definitely strange. He probably looked weirder than Owner. His hair resembled Owner's but his eyes were crazier. Maybe. Probably not.

But the point is, the guy had an enormous hand, I was mostly covered and it was hard to see. I believe I heard that from one of the other ties that in one of their owner's books, a 'yaoi', they had hands that big. That's what kidnapper's hands were as big as! They were 'yaoi hands'!

We got to go to a different dimension! 'Saragasso', it was called. The other ties would be so jealous, just wait until it told them! The kidnapped tossed me and Owner down on the ground and I could hear Owner snickering. I was down in the dirt, and getting so filthy! Ew, I hoped we got up soon. Why was he just laying around, anyway? Did he have lives to ruin?

Oh. Shrimp-head was here now, screaming at the fact Owner was dead, and I wondered if Owner just got bored and fell to sleep because he certainly wasn't dead. Before Shrimpy had arrived he was laughing. Well, whatever.

Kidnappy was being relentlessly mean, and I realized that it was in the same way Owner sometimes was when people weren't around. And the same hair, was this some kind of clone? When it got blown away and Owner started getting up and laughing, I figured it must have been.

Ah, he was finally telling them. It was too bad Shrimpy's tie wasn't here, it wanted to brag to it a little.

What had Owner just yelled? Barian's something... Oh god, I could feel myself being ripped apart. This was the most painful thing in my very short tie life. Why was this happening? I sent a longing glance up to my owner, proud of the way he had revealed himself.

My last thought was 'please don't let him replace me with leather.'

No i'm not explaining this at all. Good night.