"Beautiful Outcasts"
Category: Het (Canon)
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Sefa
Rating/Warnings: T
Basic Summary- Sefa`s misguided devotion leads to a downward spiral that will cause her to lose more than just father.

Author`s note : This is an old story I wrote during the beginning of season five.

Special thanks to Moon Fox for her help.

Sefa stumbled through the forest as she fled the brothel, tripping on the hem of her slightly over-sized brown dress. Her blackened eye was nearly swollen shut and her bruised cheek throbbed mercilessly. Her head was pulsing with pain, making her feel dizzy. Tears coursed down her pale cheeks as she ran tears blurred her vision, causing the wide open forest and clear summer skies to form a single wild swirl of color. Her muscles burned and ached in protest as she forced her weary body onward. A terror filled frenzy made her heart pound fiercely in her breast. Running was all she ever seemed to do anymore. There was seldom anyplace where she ever truly felt safe. The young woman was quickly learning that everything came with a price and even the smallest amount of kindness could be filled with evil intent. Despite the uncertain and bleak future before her, Sefa allowed herself to
remember better times.

(Flashback)

Sefa pulled her cloak closer to her slender form as she walked through the forest at night. Her breath formed small wispy clouds in the chilly autumn air. In the distance she could see flickering torch lights among the shadowy hills. The pretty brunette glanced around, spying the village's ruins near the forest's opening. Fear began to claw at her heart. She glanced over her shoulder. `It wasn't too late.` She thought. `I can still turn back.` Then she remembered her father's words and why this needed to be done. Perhaps when the injustices were avenged, then her father would be at peace.

Her resolve was strengthened as she prepared herself for the role she was meant to play. `I will do this for you, father.` With that thought, she approached the open space. A wolf emerged from the shadows to stand beside the rubble. The golden gleam of magic shone in his dark eyes, as the creature gazed at the young woman. This was one of Morgana`s wolves. Sefa struggled to fight off the wave of nausea at the sight of bloody mangled bodies lying near by. She knew this would have to look believable. A raven circled the skies, crying out a signal that the knights would soon be here. Rumors about bandits terrorizing the land was carried on the wind and had reached the ears of Camelot's king.

Sir Leon rode at the front, followed by Sir Elyan and a small band of knights. The horses reared back, startled by the sudden scream that echoed in the night. A woman with mussed hair and tattered clothing raced toward the dirt path, while a wolf chased after her. The leading knights swiftly dismounted. Leon unsheathed his sword and settled into a fighting stance. Elyan grasped the damsel's hand, to lead her to safety. The wolf lowered his head, growling menacingly at his enemies. In a blur of fluid motion, the senior knight swung low and his blade struck the charging wolf in a sidelong blow. He sheathed his sword, after cleaning it on the grass and then brushed a few sweaty curls away from his brow.

"Are you alright, madam?" Leon asked a bit breathlessly. He gazed at the frightened young woman with concern as she stood beside his friend. "What's your name? This is not the time or place for a lady to be traveling unescorted. Have you any family?"

" Sefa. I have an ailing father back home," she answered softly. "I hoped to save time by passing through here. I needed to find work in one of the local towns."

"Well you're in luck," Elyan said with a smile. "I know someone who could use a reliable handmaid in Camelot." He mounted his horse and then reached out to grasp her hand, helping her climb up. The small band of knights rode off into the night.

The gaping wound on the seemingly dead wolf slowly began to mend. He stood up to see Sefa leaving with the knights. His eyes blazed a dazzling gold before he turned away to return to his mistress. Everything was going according to plan.

Sefa silently followed Sir Leon through the castle hallways, as he led her toward the court physician's quarters. She flinched when the knight gently touched her shoulder.

"There's no need to worry," he said kindly. "You're being left in good hands. Gaius is the very best."

She nodded numbly, while watching him knock sharply on the worn wooden door. An old man in green robes and flowing white hair opened the door to greet them.

"What can I do for you, Leon?" the elderly physician asked, glancing curiously at the young woman beside the knight.

"Oh, I'm not here for myself." He explained, "I believe Sefa maybe in need of your assistance." Gaius stepped aside to usher her inside his chambers.

"I'll leave her to you then," said Leon and then glanced at Sefa. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye … and thank you," she replied softly, watching him give a slight bow before departing.

Merlin sat at a table across the room; he stopped eating his supper when he saw his mentor enter with a pretty patient beside him. Gaius led her to a bench beside his work table.
"What seems to be troubling you?" he asked.

"I only have a small few cuts," she answered. "I tripped and fell into some brambles. I was chased through the out-lands by a wolf , while traveling to town. The knights came to my rescue."

"Thank heavens, they found you in time," he said with relief, while glancing at the long cut across her palm. "Those lands are hardly safe for anyone in the day or night, especially for a young lady."

"I know," she said solemnly. "I was desperate to find work so I could take care of my sickly father back home."

"I'm certain you'll find work here," the old physician replied reassuringly before turning to Merlin. "Could you fetch me the small red bottle on the top self?"

"Of course," he said, quickly rising from his seat to search through the cluster of bottles littering the highest shelf. Once he found the proper bottle, he grabbed a cloth and handed the items to him. Gaius nodded in thanks before pouring the liquid on the cloth and applying it to her injury. Sefa looked up, meeting Merlin's gaze. He smiled at her, and she shyly smiled in return. The old man noticed the glances exchanged between the two youths and smiled.

" Sefa, this is Merlin, my apprentice," he said with a slight chuckle.

The young warlock noticed Sefa glance at the pot of stew hanging in the hearth. "Are you hungry?" he asked.

" A little," she admitted.

Gaius watched in amusement as the young man walked toward the hearth to fetch Sefa a bowl of stew. Merlin placed the bowl in front of her as he sat across from her at the table.

"Sorry that the stew is as thin as water, but Gaius isn't the best cook," he whispered to her.

"It's fine, thank you," she said with a smile, after taking a small taste.

Later in the evening-

"You won't mind giving up your bed tonight, Merlin?" Gaius asked, sitting beside him at the table.

"Uh.. No, not at all," he answered, watching Sefa hang up her cloak.
They all settled in for the night. She headed towards Merlin's bedroom, but stopped when she saw him spreading a blanket out on the floor.

"I'm sorry, I'm making you sleep on the floor," she said softly, gazing down at him.

"It's fine. Don't worry," he said, waving a hand dismissively. "Good night, Sefa."

"Good night, Merlin."

She laid in Merlin's bed gazing out the window, watching the moon light filter thorough the dusty window. She was disturbed by the behavior of her enemies, they were meant to be cruel and worthy of all magic users wrath. Death was the only fate that they deserved; at least that was what her father told her. She crept out of bed, hoping that a breath of fresh air could help ease her troubled mind. The young woman put on her shoes and then grabbed her cloak. She slipped out of the room, wincing when Merlin's bedroom door creaked. Sefa glanced at Gaius; he lay in bed snoring loudly. Then she snuck past the raven -haired, young man bundled in a blanket on the floor, before leaving their quarters.

When she heard approaching foot steps behind her, she whirled around to take an instinctive defensive stance like her father taught her. 'Always be ready and never let your enemies see that you are afraid.'

"Merlin!" she cried. "You followed me."

"Yes, it was difficult to sleep through Gaius` snoring," he answered a bit guilty.

She laughed and he smiled at the sound. They walked through the narrow corridors, leading to a small doorway and then they stepped outside to sit on the stone steps, gazing up at the star filled sky.

"What is it?," Merlin asked, noticing her worried expression.

"I was just wondering where I'll find work," Sefa lied smoothly.

"I'm sure Arthur and Gwen will do all they can to help you," he said.

"What makes you so certain?" she asked, surprised by how he spoke of his rulers in such a familiar way.

"Gwen became my first friend when I came to Camelot , and I'm Arthur's personal servant. So, no one knows the prat better than I do". He answered with a slight chuckle.

"How did you become the king's servant?" She asked with a smile.

"It's a rather long story," he replied, returning her smile.

"Well, if you're not in a hurry to return to Gaius`s snoring, then I guess we`ll have plenty of time," she teased.

In the morning-

Gaius, Merlin and Sefa sat together at the table, eating lumpy porridge, when a knock sounded against the door. The young warlock hopped up to open the door, a young blonde servant girl met his curious gaze. "The queen wishes to see Miss Sefa," she said meekly.

Sefa glanced from Merlin to Gaius nervously before rising from the table. "Thank you for everything," she said as she headed towards the door.

"You're very welcome, my dear," the elderly physician answered.

Her hand lightly brushed against Merlin's, when he stepped aside to let her pass. He offered her a reassuring smile, which she returned before following the servant girl out into the hallway. Sefa did her best to keep up with the girl. She followed her through all the castle's twists and turns, before they finally reach the queen's chambers. The legendary peasant queen stood by a sunlit window, framed in the golden light. She smiled in greeting, as Sefa and the servant girl enter the room. The girl curtsied and then scurried off, leaving Sefa and Gwen alone. The queen gathered up her flowing red dress to sit beside a table. She beckoned for Sefa to sit beside her.

"Welcome to Camelot, Sefa," she said with a smile. "I know Gaius and Merlin have treated you well."

"Yes, Milady," she said softly, staring down at her hands.

"My brother and Sir Leon have informed me of your plight." The queen continued, her dark eyes were alight with compassion. "...And what I seek is not just another handmaid, but a companion as well. I was hoping you could serve this role."

"Thank you, Milady," Sefa answered, looking up to meet Gwen's gaze. "I would like that very much."

"Well it's all settled then," she said in a pleased tone, while clasping her hands together. "You shall have your own quarters and later on, I'll send for a seamstress to have you fitted for a new dress. If there is anything you need then you only have to ask. I'm sure Merlin will gladly show you around the castle."

Sefa nodded numbly in response, feeling overwhelmed by the queen's generosity. Gwen leaned forward, taking her hand in her own. "I understand the troubles you are going through. Believe me, I do. I was once just like you. Take comfort in knowing that no matter what happens, you will never have to face anything alone."

Sefa managed to utter another thank you, before leaving the queen's chambers. One of the servant girls led her to her new quarters. It was a simple room with a small bed in the corner, a little cupboard sat near the door and a table with a washing basin was placed beside the bed. She sat down on the bed, glancing around the room. She had never had her very own room before. After the seamstress stopped by for her measurements, Merlin guided her through the castle.

"The castle is enormous, and there are so many things to remember," Sefa said with a sigh.

"It's a lot to take in, but you'll do fine," Merlin said kindly, as they walked side by side through the hallway. He led her to the washing room, weaving in and out of the laundry girls paths , as they carried piles of clothing.

"Whoever has to wash Arthur's socks, has my pity," he whispered to her. A few laundry girls glanced up from their work to notice how closely the pair stood beside each other and how their hands would casually touch while they walked and laughed together.

"Hussy," one of the girls whispered jealously.

"Oh, hush" said another. "I think she is lovely. You're just upset because he didn't want to court you. Half of the castle's servant girls are sweet on him. She's a lucky one. "

"I think they look lovely together," the third girl cooed dreamily, as she watched them leave the washing room.

The pair headed toward the kitchen. The lead cook bellowed orders to the scurrying crew, as they entered the bustling atmosphere. The overpowering smell of roasted pheasant wafted through the air, making Sefa`s stomach rumble. She coughed, trying to drown out the sound in hopes that Merlin wouldn't notice. He plucked an apple from one of the trays, when the lead cook wasn't looking, and handed it to her with a chuckle.

Sefa blushed prettily when she accepted the apple causing Merlin to smile. The pretty brunette thought of their obvious attraction as she bit into the apple and realized it could lead to deeper feelings. She couldn't`t be swayed and allow Merlin to stop her from keeping the promise she made to her father.

Months later –

Evening in the queen's chambers-

"I can't eat this. I'm sorry." Gwen said with a sigh, as she pushed a dish filled with ham and assorted vegetables to the side of the table.

"Would you like me to get you something else?" Sefa asked, reaching over to pick up the dish.

"No. I'm just worried about Arthur." The queen answered with a sad smile. "But, I would like some company. Will you sit with me?"

"Of course, Milady." She said, while taking a seat beside her. "There is no greater warrior than the king. I'm sure he'll be fine".

"I know. You'd think, I would be used to it by now." Gwen said, and then offered her one of the food laden dishes. "Are you hungry?"

Sefa shyly reached out to pick up a strawberry.

After having dinner with the queen, Sefa snuck out of the castle under the moonlit sky. She walked on, until she reached the forest. The silvery light filtered through the tree branches, guiding her to the castle ruins , where her father was waiting. Her conversation with Gwen weighted heavily upon her mind as she walked through the shadowy ruins. Then, she thought of Merlin, remembering the morning he had left with his king. Sefa had walked to the window in Gwen's chambers to gaze down at Arthur, Merlin and the knights, as they had mounted their horses in the courtyard. Merlin looked up, meeting her gaze. He waved at her; Sefa blushed lightly, giving a quick wave in response, as she hurried away from the window.

The cold steel pressed against her throat, jolted her back to the present.

"It's me. It's Sefa"! She cried out.

Her father backed away, sheathing his blade.

"Never let anyone make you feel afraid". He said, darkly. He lightly tapped the side of his head for emphasis. "Fear only exists in the mind. What news have you brought from Camelot?"

For a fleeting moment, Sefa visualized Gwen's loving face and remembered how kind she had been. She wasn't just a servant to the queen, but a friend .She couldn't deny the way her heart fluttered when she thought about Merlin. The attraction was undeniable. A few more minutes passed as she struggled to utter the words that could bring good men to an early demise. These words could cause Merlin's death. Sefa faltered under her father's stern gaze and then she told him about the king's whereabouts. Her love for her father was greater than her friendship with Gwen and her feelings for Merlin.

"Have they treated you well?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder.

"They've been good to me, father." She whispered, as she watched him walk into the shadows.

"A Pendragon is good for only one thing ...death." Her father replied, his voice echoed in the darkness.

The next day -

The guards dragged Sefa into the throne room, roughly depositing the handmaiden onto the hardwood floor, facing the queen. She glanced around the room fearfully, wondering how anyone could have known. Fear caused her heart to beat wildly in her breast, as she answered the queen's inquires with a shaky breath. Her brief moment of defiance faded away when Gwen sentenced her to death and was replaced by bone chilling terror as the guards drug her away to the cells.

In the morning, Sefa awoke and glanced out the bar covered window, seeing the gallows being prepared for her. Gaius entered her cell and offered a pain numbing potion and she tearfully begged to meet with the queen.

In the evening, she was startled awake by the sound of steel clanging against the iron bars of her cell. Relief swept over her, when she saw her father. She watched his eyes blaze with a familiar gold, while ancient words tumbled from his lips, opening the cell's door. They raced through the dungeon hand in hand, only to be surrounded by knights. Ruadan fought with a greater fierceness than ever before; he wouldn't let them harm her. The skirmish was short lived and his sword hit the stone floor with a clatter when a knight`s sword pierced his side. He clutched his wound and then pulled Sefa close with his freehand, chanting a spell that caused the torches flames to spring forward to create a wall of fire. They fled the castle under the cover of shadow, heading toward the forest. The pair stumbled into the ruins; she helped her father sit down on a fallen stone column while she fetched him a cup of water. With the little energy he could muster, he created a message for Morgana. Sefa did as she was told and attached the tiny scroll to the crow's leg.

"You can't leave me, father please!" she begged tearfully, kneeling beside him.

"I will always love," he murmured weakly as he held her in his arms.

These were the words; she had always wanted to hear. She had always craved his acceptance. When she was very small, she gazed in the mirror, wondering if her eyes would shine with a faint golden glow like his did. Would he love her more, if she were like him? Being young, she foolishly hoped that it would , so then he would be happy. The bone deep grief that haunted him might vanish if he could find a new reason to seek happiness. At least, that was what Sefa believed.

Before a sob could escape her lips, her father passed away. The knights emerged from the shadows, heading straight toward them. Sefa fled the castle ruins, blindly running into the night.

(End of flashback)

Months later- summer

Merlin walked toward the bustling marketplace, making his way through the crowded street. He sighed in annoyance , when he glanced at the scrap of paper in his hand. The prat had given him a lengthy list of supplies, that he was expected to carry back to camp single handedly. He looked up to spot a familiar figure , weaving through the cluster of shoppers.

Their eyes met and then the young woman turned to flee. Merlin raced after her, catching up as she reached the market's outskirts. He reached out to grasp her sleeve, and pulled her back.

"Please let me go," she cried, feeling too emotionally and physically exhausted to struggle. "Your kingdom has what it wants. My father is dead."

"I won't harm you," he said softly, noticing her black eye and swollen cheek when she turned to face him. "Who did this to you?"

(Flashback)

Sefa wandered aimlessly, feeling cold, hungry and lonely. One winter's night, she stumbled into a place that she thought was a tavern. Then she saw an immodestly dressed woman sitting on a man's lap while he drank a tankard of mead. Other scantily clad women sauntered around the room to flirt with their favorite patrons. Some of the men sitting by the hearth gazed at her lustfully, clearly undressing her with every heated hungry glance. The full figured red-haired head mistress laughed at the younger woman's wide eyed expression.

"What's a sweet little dumpling like you doing in these parts?" she asked, her sharp green eyes shone with curiosity and a bit of mischief. Sefa opened her mouth, but all that came out was a sob.

She learned that the head mistress's name was Ann. Despite the hard life style this occupation brought, Ann still had a good heart. She offered her shelter in exchange for handling the cooking and cleaning. The former handmaiden was grateful for a warm bed and food to fill her empty belly. Ann made certain that her patrons knew that Sefa was off limits. A middle aged noble man frequently visited the brothel. He constantly pestered the head mistress about Sefa, reminding her that his gold kept the business running. She refused him because the young woman reminded her of the way she used to be before this life style ruined her.

One afternoon, Ann headed out to the market, leaving Sefa to keep things in order during her absence. The noble man returned to find the object of his twisted obsessions unguarded.

"You wouldn't have to work in this whore house if you had accepted my offer," he said while watching her scrub the wood floors.

"I won't be your consort," she said firmly, continuing her task without sparing him a glance.

"Anything can be bought for the right price," the elegantly dressed man stated arrogantly. "Land, horses and women are all alike in that way."

His dark eyes shone with ill intent as he reached out to touch her soft brown hair. She stood up and then turned away from him before his hand could make contact. He grabbed her arm, pulling her closer. She slipped out of his grasp. Sefa picked up a bucket full of dirty water sitting near by and threw it in his face then she turned to run. The furious noble man raced after her. He took hold of her, she screamed as he shoved her into a wall. He struck her across the face with all the strength he could muster. She slid to the floor; feeling like her head would explode. Tears blurred her vision as he raised his hand to strike her again. All of a sudden, her blue eyes turned gold; a power she never knew she possessed coursed through her entire being. Her magic sent her attacker spiraling backward to hit a wall with a loud thud, his form limp fell to the floor. Sefa fled the brothel in a fearful frenzy, never looking back.

(End of flashback)

Merlin placed a comforting arm around her when she began to cry, his gentle eyes shone with sympathy.

"I'm so sorry that this happened to you," he said sadly.

For a moment, he wondered if he could trust her. But it seemed that she had paid a great price for her treachery. She looked so fragile and world weary right now. She reminded him of the way Morgana once was when she was filled with fear and self-loathing upon discovering that she had magic. Despite all the evil, the witch had done. The ugly memory of poisoning her still filled him with a lingering guilt. However, Sefa was too soft hearted to become a broken, hateful and power crazed mess like Morgana. So he allowed his eyes to blaze a bright gold to heal the wounds the noble man had inflicted. She gazed at him with a wide eyed wonder that swiftly transformed into anger as she backed away.

" Sefa, please let me explain," he said, reaching out to her but she pushed his hands aside.

"How can you serve a Pendragon?" she asked bitterly while wrapping her arms around herself as she trembled. "They are the reason our kind are hunted like animals and treated as though we are less than human. When I was six years old, my mother was sent to the pyre by Uther ... just for being a druid. She only came to Camelot's marketplace to buy some rare herbs for a sick friend in our village."

"I'm sorry," Merlin replied earnestly. "I know what feels like to lose those you care about. Believe me, I understand. But Arthur is not his father, and he is not a perfect king, but he is a good one. He is a better king than Uther could have ever hoped to be. Despite his failings, he is brave, loyal and true hearted. I believe in him and the future he will build."

"How is the son any better than his father if magic is still outlawed?" Sefa argued heatedly. "We deserve the same respect as everyone else. That's all my father wanted for us. He couldn't stand by to watch injustice continue. They will never give us anything so we must fight for our freedom and equality. That's why he joined Morgana and I became her spy. It was all he ever asked of me and I wanted to please him."

"Morgana could never bring these things to pass," he said in a tone that was laced with bitterness. "When she stole the throne, she killed innocent people and burned crops, forcing the people to join her or watch their children go hungry. She would crush anyone who stands in her way. Morgana would gladly sacrifice your life if it meant that she could have Arthur's throne."

"Then what do we do?" she asked sorrowfully, searching his face intently. "Wait for your king to change the laws? What if he never does?"

"I long for that just as much as you do", he said, suddenly feeling much older than his years. "But following Morgana`s path will only ensure that the day will never come. We must show him that magic can be used as a force for good. I can't say how long it will take, but I will remain by his side, protecting him until that day comes."

"Why are you so loyal to him?" she asked with genuine curiosity.

"I used to think that it was because of my destiny," he said smiling at Sefa`s confused expression. "But, it's because he's my friend."

"That day…I hadn't meant for any harm to come to you or anyone else," she said, glancing down at her feet. "I just didn't think. I'm sorry. I do care for you, Merlin. I really do, but I can't see things the way you do."

"And I care for you," he said, stepping closer to her. "But this is the only path that I will follow. Go to Iseldir the druid chieftain and his people; I know you'll be safe with them. Will you be alright?"

"Yes, thanks to you," she replied, things were not alright , but in time it would be.

Her face still tingled with the warmth of his healing magic. Sefa shyly reached out to embrace him; she didn't know when she would ever see the young warlock again. He smiled as he held her close. They stepped back, holding each other at arms length. A slight breeze whipped through Sefa`s hair. He brushed the stray locks away from her face and then caressed the curve of her cheek with his thumb.

"I wish we could…" she began; regret shining in her lovely blue eyes.

"I know," he said softly, his expression mirrored her own.

"Good bye, Sefa," he said, as he watched her walk toward the path, he pointed out to her.

"Good bye, Merlin," she replied without looking back. She didn't want him to see the unshed tears, shining in her eyes. Then she lifted her head, remembering to be strong like her father told her as she followed the winding dirt path that would lead her towards a new life.