Trust No One Ch. 1- Tourist Trapped

…

This is an experiment for me. A novelization of GF with a DP twist on it. This is nit a priority, and could be canceled at any time. Some things about the agar plot might change, you've been warned.

The song in the summary doesn't belong to me. Look up 'Gravity Falls Music Box' on YouTube by Teppathekid and it's beautiful, but she credits the maker of the lyrics, missbunniswan, another YouTuber.

…

"This attic is amazing. Check out all my splinters!" A girl with long brown hair down to her waist turned to her twin brother, small wooden shafts sticking out of her hands.

Said brother had shorter, scruffier brown hair, and was staring at his bed. "There's a goat on my bed."

The girl trotted over. "Hey, friend," she said to the goat, who promptly started chewing on the sleeve of the pink sweater she was wearing. It had a shooting star in it, blazing a rainbow trail. "Yes, you can keep chewing on my sweater." She giggled.

The boy stared at his sister, weirded out but used to it. Mabel tended to look on the bright side of things, while Dipper was mostly on the pessimistic side.

He remembered when they had first arrived at Gravity Falls, Oregon. Their parents had decided that staying in the city for the summer would have much less benefits then shipping them off to stay with their crazy grand-uncle, or 'Grunkle' Stan in the woods of the tiny town to get some fresh air. In other words, they were too busy to take care of them properly.

Grunkle Stan owned a deceptively small home, which was actually pretty huge on the inside, a tourist trap called 'The Mystery Shack'. He created exhibits of fake supernatural and unusual creatures, and had a gift shop full of overpriced and often fake merchandise. Heck, it was overpriced to even get in. Their Grunkle was a professional con man. And, of course, he made the twins work there.

While getting used to the new woodsy surroundings, Mabel had been rolling down a hill, shouting 'Grass!' While Dipper had been leaning against a tree, attempting to read and deal with the woodpecker pecking his head. Hard.

And then, of course, the old kook himself had to jump out with a shout of 'Boo!' At the poor boy, wearing a Swamp Thing mask. The old man had chuckled, taking off the mask. And then he burst into full-on teasing laughter, slapping his knee. The guffaws lapsed into a coughing fit, pounding on his chest, holding a cane with a Magic 8 Ball on the end. He usually wore his suit and fake eye patch. Or boxers and a white, thick-strapped tank top. He always had his red fez on, gold tassel and odd crescent and all. His thick-rimmed black glasses and big ears completed the look.

Which brings us to the present.

Mabel peeked her head up above the line of Stan bobble heads. "He's looking at it," she hissed. A boy on the other side of the shop unfolded a piece of paper.

"Uh, 'Do you like me?'" He read aloud, looking through the options. "'Yes', 'Definitely', 'Absolutely!'?" He looked around, and odd look on his face.

"I rigged it," giggled the girl.

"Uh, Mabel? I know you're going through your whole 'boy-crazy' phase, but I think you're overdoing it with the crazy part," said Dipper, cleaning a jar of eyeballs.

"Whaaat?" She spit with her tongue out. "Come on, Dipper. This is our first summer away from home! My big chance to have an epic summer romance."

"Yeah, but do you need to flirt with every guy you meet?" He asked, remembering a few times.

A black-haired boy of about fifteen years of age was dusting some 'jackalope antlers' on a nearby shelf. He was long and lanky, and his raven hair looked like it had never met a brush. He looked over, his eyes sparkling. "I have to agree with Dipper on this one, Mabes." That was Danny, a worker for the Mystery Shack who also lived there. He was only allowed to stay because he worked for free. He was surprisingly efficient, if a bit sarcastic.

"Mock all you want, guys, but I wouldn't be surprised if the guy of my dreams walked through that door right now." She remarked, pinging over her shoulder to the opening between the museum and the gift shop.

In through the entrance walked Grunkle Stan, holding a soda in his hands. He burped.

"Ugh, why," groaned Mabel, while Dipper giggled.

"Quick, don't let your soulmate get away," snarled Danny. Mabel glared.

"Alright alright, look alive, people! I need someone to go hang up these signs in the spooky part of the forest." The old man looked over at his workers that were currently there.

"Not it," said Dipper, closely followed by Mabel, Danny, and Soos, who was drilling some signs into the shack wall.

Soos was a babyish looking man, who, like Danny, worked for free and lived at the Mystery Shack, though he had done so for longer.

Stan glared. "Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, I know. I'm comfortable with that," said Soos, taking a bite of his chocolate bar. He wore a dark green tee with a question mark on it, and jeans.

Stan turned to Wendy, the last of the Mystery Shack staff. Wendy Corduroy was the only daughter of the local lumberjack, Manly Dave. She was also the eldest of her two other siblings, and wore a green plaid shirt, jeans, boots, and a hat at all times. She was sought after by many of the guys in Gravity Falls, with her pretty face, freckles, and long red hair. However, she was one of the toughest girls you could meet, could defend herself just fine, independent, and feisty to boot. She was currently chewing gum and reading a magazine with her legs on the counter.

"I would," she grunted, "but I can't… reach it…" grabbing empty air. Danny sighed, shaking his head.

"Then you could just get up," he muttered under his breath. But he was ignored by the redhead.

"I'd fire all of you if I could!" Grumped Stan. "Fine. We'll do it… enie meenie mienie… you," he chanted, switching between Dipper and Mabel, and landing on the male twin.

"Aww, come on. Grunkle Stan, whenever I'm in those woods, I feel like I'm being watched." It was the truth, though also a mediocre excuse. However, Stan was not empathetic.

"Oh, not this again."

"I'm telling you, something weird is going on in this town! Today my mosquito bites spelled out 'beware'." Dipper pulled out his arm.

Stan frowned. "That spells, 'Bewarb'."

Dipper pulled away and scratched his arm sheepishly.

"Look, kid, this whole 'monsters in the forest' thing is just local legend, drummed up by guys like me, to sell merch to guys like that." He gestured to a pudgy, sweaty thirty-something tourist giggling stupidly at a Stan bobble head. "Now, quit being so paranoid." Stan threw the signs to Dipper.

Though as Dipper walked out, he was stopped by none other than Danny. "Hey, Dipper," he whispered conspiratorially, "I believe you."

…

The woods were dark and windy, and Dipper was still hammering the arrow-shaped signs to trees. He had already hung 'amazing' and 'behold' and was in the process of putting up 'To the Mystery Shack'.

He sighed. "Agh, Grunkle Stan. Why is it that only Danny believes what I say and not the weirdos?"

He moved to the next tree, attempting to hammer a nail into the mossy trunk. However, instead of sinking into the wood, it dented the bark with a 'clang'. "Huh?" He lightly bumped the hammer twice against the truck, twice again getting the same metallic sound. He rubbed his hand across the trunk, brushing off dust. He found a crack. He opened the small door, pulling apart a cobweb.

Sitting in the compartment was an odd machine.

Dipper glanced around, then turned and started switching one of the two small switches. When nothing happened, he moved to the next. He flipped it. A machine-esque whirr sounded behind him, which scared off the goat that had been grazing on the patch of ground that had just opened up.

Dipper turned, walking over. "What the…" inside the web-y hole was a dusty book.

He pulled it out, blowing off the dust. When the cloud lifted, it revealed a crimson cover, with a golden, six-fingered hand on the cover. The hand had a big number '3' in the palm.

He kneeled down, opening the book after checking for others around him. The inside cover read 'property of -'. The rest had faded beyond recognition. It had a small magnifying glass attached to the spine on a ribbon, like one of those ribbon-bookmarks. 'Vol. 3'.

He read aloud. "I can't believe that it's been six years already since I've began studying the strange and wonderful secrets of Gravity Falls, Oregon." He turned the page, reading the titles. 'Floating Eyeballs'. 'Giant Vampire Bats'. 'Gnomes'. 'Cursed Doors'. "What is all this?!"

He continued reading. "Unfortunately my suspicions have been confirmed. I'm being watched! I must hide this book before He finds it. Remember, in Gravity Falls there is no one you can trust."

'TRUST NO ONE!'

"No one you can trust…" Dipper murmured.

"Hello!"

"ARGH!"

"Watcha reading, some nerd thing?" It was just Mabel, peeking over the log he was behind.

"Uh, uh, it's nothing!"

"Uh, uh, it's nothing!" Mabel mocked. "Hahaha, what, are you actually not going to show me?" She said with a smile.

"Uhhh," Dipper looked at the goat attempting to eat Journal #3, "Let's go somewhere private."

…

Back at the shack, Mabel was sitting in the arm of the couch while Dipper talked on about his new book.

"It's amazing! Grunkle Stan said I was paranoid, but according to this book, Gravity Falls has this secret dark side."

"Whoa!" Gasped his sister. "Shut up!" She lightly shoved him.

"And get this. After a while, the pages just stop, like the guy who was writing it mysteriously disappeared."

Just then, the doorbell rang. "Who's that?"

"Well, time to spill the beans," Mabel said, knocking over a conveniently placed can of beans. "Boop. Beans. But, this girl's got a date. Whoo!" She shouted, falling back onto the couch.

"Let me get this straight. In the half hour I was gone, you already got a boyfriend?"

"Yep." Danny strode into the room. "He's kinda creepy, actually. Moans a lot. Always has a black hoodie on. Moves jerkily." He turned the T.V. on. "Ooh, Dead Teacher! Haven't seen this in a while."

"How long have you been over there?" Dipper asked, a suspicious tone in his voice. Trust no one.

"Not long. Just enough to hear Mabel 'spill the beans'." His eyes became glued to the television. He was lost to the world.

The doorbell rang a couple more times. "Ooh! Coming!" Cried Mabel, running off. Dipper climbed onto the empty chair, opening the Journal.

Stan walked into view. "Whatcha reading there, slick?"

"O-oh, nothing." He quickly swapped out the Journal for a random magazine. "Just reading up on…" he checked the cover. "Gold Chains for Old Men Magazine?"

"That's a good issue." Stan sipped his pop.

"Heeeeeeey, family!" Mabel called. "Say hello to my new boyfriend!" The boy turned…

He had wide, space-y eyes, unhealthily pale skin, and was, indeed wearing a dark hoodie. His brown hair covered one glassy eye, and he had a red spot on his cheek. He had a twig sticking out of his hoodie.

He lifted a hand, completely ignoring the creeped out stares he was getting. "'Sup?"

"Hi." Came from the twin, while a "What's hangin'?" Came from Stan.

Mabel grinned, rubbing her boyfriend's arm. "We met at the cemetery," she gushed. "He's really deep." She squeezed his arm. "Ooh, a little muscle there! What- what a surprise," she stuttered.

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "So, what's your name?"

The boy stiffened. "Uh, Normal… Man!" He groaned.

"He means Norman," Mabel sighed.

"Are you bleeding, Norman?" Asked Dipper, pointing to the red spot dripping down Norman's cheek.

Norman looked around, and then grunted, "It's jam,"

Mabel gasped. "I love jam!" She cried, giving him a light shove. "Look at this!"

"So, you wanna go… hold, hands… or… whatever?" Moaned out Norman in his gravelly, croaky voice.

"Oh- oh my god," she giggled, "Don't wait up!" She ran out.

Norman made a handgun toward the three remaining occupants of the room and stumbled out of the house, crashing into the doorframe and other things in the house.

None of them noticed Danny's piercing arctic blue eyes following Norman out.

…

Something about Norman isn't right.

That was the thought it Dipper's head as he consulted the Journal for anything that resembled Norman in the slightest.

He read aloud an entry: "'Known for their pale skin and bad attitude, these creatures are often mistaken for… teenagers!'" The creature he was reading up on:

'The Living Dead'

"'Beware Gravity Falls' nefarious'… 'zombies!'"

…

Stan heard the echo.

"What did he say… crombie? Crombie? That's not even a word." He looked at himself in the mirror. "What, are you losing your mind?"

…

Dipper looked outside the odd attic window. Outside, Mabel sat on the picnic table, watching with a smile as Norman lurched toward her. ("I like you.")

"Oh no! Mabel! No, no Mabel, watch out!"

Norman put his hands above her head…

Brought them down…

And fastened a flower necklace around her neck.

Mabel gasped. "… Daisies? You scallywag," she grinned.

Dipper put a hand on his head. "Is my sister really dating a zombie? Or am u just crazy?"

"That's a dilemma for sure."

Dipper looked up, startled, to find Soos screwing in a lightbulb. "I couldn't help but overhear you talking aloud to yourself in this empty room."

"Soos, you've seen Mabel's boyfriend. He's gotta be a zombie, right?"

"Hmm… how many brains did you see the guy eat?"

Dipper looked down. "… zero…"

"Well, I believe you. I'm always noticing weird guys in this town. Like that mailman? Pretty sure that guy's a werewolf." The mailman was really hairy. "But you've got to have evidence. Otherwise people are going to start thinking you're a major league kookoo clock."

"As always, you're right." Dipper nodded his beige-hat covered head.

"My wisdom is both a blessing, and a curse."

Stan's voice sounded from downstairs. "Hey, Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again! Get down here!"

Soos resolutely adjusted his baseball cap. "I am needed elsewhere." He backed out of the attic backwards, never once blinking.

Dipper closed the Journal. His sister could he at risk.

It was time to get some evidence.

…

Dipper spent the next few hours spying on Mabel and Norman. With his trusty video camera, he recorded everything they did, from frisbee (Norman didn't react fast enough to catch it,mans it bonked him on the head) to walking through doorways (Norman punched through the glass of the diner door and opened the handle from the inside) and running through the graveyard (Norman fell through a newly unearthed grave).

Dipper had seen enough.

"Mabel, we've got to talk about Norman." He walked through the door of their room in the attic.

"I know, isn't he dreamy? Look at this giant smooch mark he gave me!" She turned her head, showing a giant red spot on her left cheek.

Dipper shrieked.

"Haha!" Mabel laughed. "Gullible. It was just an accident with the leaf blower."

…

Mabel set the leaf blower to 'in' and placed it on top of a tree stump. She placed a picture of Norman on the nozzle. "Kissing practice!" She leaned in…

And then the photo got sucked into the machine, and it suctioned itself to Mabel's mouth. "Mmmmmm!" Yelling, she ran around in circles. "Turn it off, turn it off!" She whacked it on the ground.

…

Mabel sighed. "That was fun."

"No, Mabel, listen! I'm trying to tell you, Norman is not what he seems!" He lifted up the journal.

Mabel gasped. "You think he might be a… vampire?! That would be awesome!"

"No, guess again, Sister. Shabam!" He opened up to the page on… gnomes. Mabel gasped.

"Oh, oh wait, sorry…" he flipped the pages. "Oh, here it it. Shabam!" Zombies.

Mabel was less than impressed. "A zombie? That is not funny, Dipper." She put her hands of her hips.

"I'm not joking! It all adds up, the bleeding, the limp… he never blinks! Have you noticed that?" Desperation was laced in his voice.

"Well maybe he's blinking when you're blinking." It sounded perfectly logical to her.

"Mabel, remember what the book said about Gravity Falls?" He glanced behind him. "Trust no one!"

"Well what about me, huh? Why can't you trust me?… beep-bop!" She said, putting on star earrings.

Dipper had had enough. "Mabel he's going to eat your brain!" He shouted, shaking his twin by the shoulders.

She swatted him off. "Dipper, listen to me. Norman and I are going on a date at five o'clock and I'm going to be adorable," she jabbed him with her finger, " and he's going to be dreamy," jab, "and I'm not going to let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!" And with that, she slammed the door in his face.

Her brother stared at the door, then turned and slumped against it, putting a hand to his head. "Oh no… what am I going to do?"

…

It was five o'clock. At the second the clock struck the odd number, the doorbell rang.

"Coming!" Shouted Mabel, running down the stairs while pulling on a purple cat sweater. She pulled open the door. "Hey Norman. How do I look?"

"Shiny," came the toad-like response.

She laughed. "You always know what to say."

Dipper forlornly watched them walk out hand-in-hand. He sighed, looking at his camera. "Soos is right," he muttered, watching as his twin and her boyfriend played hopscotch. "I don't have any real evidence."

The filmed Norman put an arm around Mabel as Dipper continued talking, "I guess I can be kind of paranoid sometimes… what?!"

Norman's hand had fallen off. And he had put it back on.

Dipper pin wheeled so badly that the couch fell over, revealing crumpled soda cans and chicken bones, but he just leapt back up. "Omigoshomigosh I have to go tell Mabel!"

And he ran out the door.

"Grunkle Stan Grunkle Stan!"

The old man was currently giving a tour to his victims. "And here we have the Face Rock. The rock that looks like a face."

A tourist raised his hand. "Does it look like a rock?"

"No, it looks like a face."

Another tourist raised his hand. "Is it a face?"

"No, it's a rock that looks like a face!"

Dipper ran up to a crack in the crowd of the scammed. "Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Stan, over here!"

"For the fifth time, it- it's not an actual face!"

Dipper was losing valuable time.

Meanwhile, eyes gleaming oddly, Danny swept up the mess from under the couch.

…

Mabel paused at the edge of the forest. "Finally, we're alone."

Norman hovered behind her. "Yes," he groaned, "alone." And he reached for her shoulder.

…

"Stan! Stan!" Dipper waved his arms.

He heard the sound of a golf cart engine. Wendy was at the wheel.

"Wendy!" He cried, running over to were she had just parked, "I need to borrow the golf cart so I can save my sister from being eaten by a zombie!"

Wendy looked at him for a second, and then, despite him being underage, dropped the keys in his hand. "Try not to hit any pedestrians," was all she said as she strode away.

Grinning like a maniac, Dipper hopped into the golf cart and backed up, only stopping for Soos.

"Hey dude, it's me. Soos." He bent over. "This is for the zombies," he said, handing a shovel to Dipper, ("Thanks,") "and this is in case you see a piñata,"pulling out a bat ("Thanks?").

Dipper quickly pulled out the golf cart, to the parting comment of "Better safe than sorry!"

The bat pulsed once with a green energy. The name Danny was written on the side.
…

"Mabel," croaked Norman, "now that we've gotten to know each other, there's…" he took a breath, putting his hand to his jacket zipper, "there's something I need to tell you."

"Oh, Norman, you can tell me anything!" 'Please be a vampire, please be a vampire.'

"All right, just don't freak out okay? Just keep an open mind. Be cool!" He unzipped his jacket, and it fell to the ground…

To reveal a bunch of gnomes stacked on top of each other.

The top one said, "Is this to weird? Is this to weird for you? Do you need to sit down?" He asked, for Mabel's jaw was currently, and figuratively, hitting the ground. "Oh, r-right, I'll explain. So, we're gnomes! First off, got that one out of the way…"

"Uhhhh…"

"I'm Jeff, and here we have Carman, Steve, Jason, and… sorry,mi always forget your name…" he said, referring to the gnomes who worked as the legs and operated the arms.

"Shmebulock."

"Oh, Shmebulock, yes!" Mabel sat down on a rock, looking downcast. "And, long story short, us gnomes have been looking for a new Queen!" He slapped his knee. "Right guys?"

All the other gnomes were squeaking, "Queen! Queen!" All in all, it was quite freaky.

He chuckled nervously, "So, whaddaya say?" He kicked his foot twice, causeing the gnomes to morph into a kneeling position, and he popped out a Diamond ring. "Will you join us in holy matrignomy- ugh, matrimony, matrimony! I always mess that up, I can't talk today!"

Mabel took a deep breath. "Look, I'm sorry guys, you're really sweet, but, I'm a girl, and you're gnomes, and it's like, 'what'?!… yikes…"

Jeff sighed. "We understand. We're never going to forget you Mabel," he said, and she brightened, "because we're going to kidnap you."

And they lunged.

…

The golf cart careened towards the forest, the desperate driver calling out, "Don't worry Mabel! I'll save you from that zombie!"

"Help!" It was Mabel.

"Hang on!" Dipper zoomed down a hill, sliding into a part of the forest that was a deep, mossy green, full of toadstools. The walls of the tunnel gleamed.

On the other side of the tunnel was a place one imagined Fairyland to be. Sparkly and sunny, full of pastel green. On top of a tree stump was a small man with a brown beard, saying, "The more you struggle, the more awkward this is going to be for everyone! You- you know what, Steve, just get her arm there…"

And there was Mabel herself, surrounded by feral-looking little people. She flailed an arm, trying to break free of the mini man biting down on it. "Ugh- die you gnomes, die-" she punched one, and kicked another. The kicked one sparkled, and stumbled over to a tree, then proceeding to puke rainbows as if he had eaten Nyan Cat.

The confused male twin just watched the incredibly strange scene for a second, before exclaiming, "What the heck is going on here?!" A gnome ran by, hissing at Dipper. "Aaah!"

"Dipper! Norman turned out to be a bunch of gnomes, and they're total jerks!" A gnome reached out and yanked on a chestnut lock. "Ow, hair hair-"

"Gnomes?" Dipper pulled out the Journal, flipping to the page about said tiny men. "Huh, I was way off. 'Gnomes: little men of the Gravity Falls forest. Weaknesses: unknown…" this was bad.

Meanwhile, Mabel had been tied down to the ground. "Oh, come on!"

"Hey, hey! Let go of my sister!" Sometimes having a twin overprotective enough to stomp over and yell at a bunch of gnomes had its perks.

"Oh! Hey there," said Jeff, laughing nervously and twirling his fingers. "This is just a big misunderstanding, you see, your sister's not in danger, she's just marrying all one thousand of us and becoming our gnome Queen for all eternity! Isn't that right, honey?"

"You guys are butt faces!" A gnome slapped his hand over her mouth.

"Give her back right now or else!" Dipper pointed his shovel at Jeff.

"You think you can stop us, boy? You have no idea what we're capable of. The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the- aah!" Dipper had scooped him up and dumped the little guy in a bush. He ran over and sliced the strings binding his sister.

"Wah! She dashed over to the cart.

Jeff leapt up. "He's getting away with out Queen! No, no no!"

"Seatbelt." Mabel did as her brother said, and the pulled out, swerving up the slope.

"You've messed with the wrong creatures, boy. Gnomes of the forest, assemble!"

Hundreds of gnomes peeked out from their hiding places, answering their leader's call. They swarmed around the brunet gnome,interlocking and piling, until it formed a giant structure…

…

The golf cart careened through the forest. "Hurry, before they come after us!"

Dipper snorted in amusement. "I wouldn't worry about that. You see, their- their tiny legs, heh-"

BOOM

"…what was that?"

BOOM

BOOM

They turned… ("Dang,")

A giant gnome monster. "Okay, teamwork guys, like we practiced." Jeff pointed, and, in a King Kong impression, the gnome beast threw its 'arms' up and roared.

"Move, move!" Dipper quickly obliged, flooring the gas.

"Come back with our Queen!"

"Dipper, it's getting closer!" (None felt the invisible presence of another person.)

Projectiles were thrown. However, one gnome missile landed on Dipper's face.

"I'll save you!" Mabel threw punch after punch, non seeming to have any effect. However, one seemed to miraculously throw off the gnome. (Unseen hands pried the creature off the boy's face, tossing it into the wind.)

"Thanks, Mabel," the brunet hadn't escaped without two black eyes.

A tree was launched towards the pair, and landed on a rock. The cart spun under the gap, narrowly missing the crash. However, the vehicle careened out of control, landing on its side just outside the Mystery Shack.

The gnome monster stomped up behind them.

"Stay back, man!" Dipper hurled a shovel, which bounced harmlessly off the moving mound.

It pounded the ground, and the twins clung to each other, letting out twin screams. "Wh- where's Grunkle Stan?"

"I don't know, Dipper!"

…

Right by the window looking out onto the scene, Stan unveiled an object before a group of tourists. "Behold, the world's most distracting object!" A spinning, black-and-white spiraled wheel on a rod was held before them. The con man pulled the string. "Just try to look away, you can't!" The crowd ooh-ed. "I- I can't even remember what I was talking about."

…

Dipper and Mabel had their backs to the wall. "It's the end of the line, kids! Mabel, marry us before we do something crazy!"

"There's got to be a way out of this!" Dipper's mind was racing.

"I've gotta do it." Stepping forward, Mabel looked strangely serious.

"Mabel, you can't do this, are you crazy?!"

"You've got to trust me."

"What?"

"Dipper, just this once, trust me."

Dipper swallowed. Hesitated. And steeped away.

"Alright, Jeff. I'll marry you."

The monster did a jig. "Hot dog! All right, watch out, Jason, watch out, get out of the way…" Jeff climbed down, and slipped on the ring, doing a little dance. "Batta bing batta bam! Let's get going to the forest, honey!"

"You may now kiss the bride."

Jeff stopped. "Weeell, don't mind if I do." He puckered his lips.

Mabel leaned down… (an energy hummed in the air, user ready to step in if necessary) reached behind eht, switched the leaf blower on, and brandished it toward Jeff.

He walked forward, struggling to escape the suction, bit got sucked in instead. "That's for lying to me!" She turned up the force. "This is for breaking my heart!" And then she put her hand on the dial. "And this is for messing with my brother!" She turned to Dipper. "Would you like to do the honors?"

"Don't mind if I do." And be switched it to forward.

Jeff was flung out, smashing through the monster, causing it to fall to shambles. He kept on flying, arcing deep into the forest. "I'll get you for thiiiiiiiiiiiiissss!" His voice faded away.

The gnomes landed in piles.

"Who's giving orders? I need orders!"

"My arms hurt…"

"Let's go!"

And they ran away, with the assistance of being blown by the lawn tool. (The presence slipped away, glad to remain hidden. If one focused, one could feel it heading into the Mystery Shack.)

The twins walked back to the porch quietly, until Mabel spoke up. "Hey, Dipper- I'm sorry for ignoring your advice… you really were just looking out for me."

"Aww, don't be like that, you saved our buts back there!"

"I guess I'm just sad that my first boyfriend turned out to be a bunch of gnomes." She spat out the last word.

"Look on the bright side! Maybe the next one will be a vampire."

"Aww, you're just saying that."

Dipper smiled, and held out his arms. "Awkward sibling hug?"

"Awkward sibling hug."

They wrapped their arms around each other… "Pat pat." Their voices sounded in unison as they put their act upsilons into words.

They walked through the door.

"Yeesh, you two get hit by a bus or something? HA!" Their great uncle's odd sense of humor was not what they needed right now, so they headed up to the attic. "… hey! What do you know, I guess I overstocked some inventory. Why don't you each take one item, on the house?"

"Really?!"

Dipper folded his arms. "What's the catch?"

"The catch is, do it before I change my mind, now take something!" As the twins browsed, he added one more thing. "Hey, have you guys seen Danny? It's his shift."

"Nope."

"I was on a date with Norman all day. We broke up, by the way."

"Well, that's too bad." Danny strolled in from the other room in all his lanky glory. "Sorry to hear that."

He grabbed a soda from the cooler, setting the money next to his boss. ("Hey, I just checked that room!")

Dipper picked up a pine tree hat. He hummed, looking at himself in the mirror. "That ought to do the trick."

"Eh, he turned out to be a jerk anyways. I think I will have a… grappling hook!" She struck a pose, oblivious to the stares she was getting form her house-mates.

"Nice choice." (Dipper then started to worry about Danny's judgement.)

Stan cleared his throat awkwardly. "Wouldn't you rather have… I dunno… a doll or something?"

Mabel shot her projectile. "Grappling hook!"

"Let the lady get what she wants. Now, get out of the way, old man. It's my turn to run the show!" Danny sat down at the register, taking over for his boss.

Stan shrugged. "Fair enough. Now bed, both of you!"

…

Mabel bounced on her squeaky bed, giggling, while Dipper lay on his, scribbling in the journal.

This journal told me that there was no one in Gravity Falls I could trust. But when you battle a bunch of gnomes, side-by-side with someone. You realize they probably always got your back.

Dipper turned and watched as Mabel shot and brought her stuffed tiger to her using her shiny new weapon.

"Hey Mabel, can you get the light?"

"I'm on it." Mabel launched the hook toward the gas lamp on their bedside table, launching it through the window. "It worked!"

They both erupted in laughter.

Our uncle told us there was nothing strange about this town. But who knows how many more secrets there are, waiting to be unlocked.

…

Stan walked through the dark of the shop, lamp in hand. In front of him lay his destination.

The vending machine.

Beep beep beep beep beep.

Like a door, the snack selling contraption swung open, and Stan stepped into the niche behind it, looking around before closing it behind him.

And from the shadows, invisibly, two arctic blue eyes watched.

…