Sadness

One night, Macaria and Thanatos surfaced to the Aboveworld upon duties as the deities of Death. The land was frozen over as fluffs of snow fell from the sky to the already snow-laden ground, and both the god and goddess could feel their skins being bitten by the icy cold air as they made their way to the home of their subjected deceased.

They found the soul of the elderly man lingering in his small house on the outskirts of a village, sitting at the foot of his bed as he stared at the ashes that littered the hearth nearby. By how cold and desolate the inside of the house was, it clearly gave the indication that it had been quite some time since a fire had burned in the hearth of this humble home to provide warmth for someone who had been alive.

But even if the soul had been alive to occupy this house a few months back or so, Macaria could not ignore the vibe of loneliness that the abode gave off. It was obvious from the interior that the man had been the only one to live here, and it may also give away the fact that he had been the only one for a very long time.

"I thought nobody would come for me," the man's soul suddenly said quietly, his gaze sliding over to the two deities that stood nearby. "The both of you had taken a while."

With an apologetic bow of his head, Thanatos said, "There had been issues with your passing. You had not been given a proper funeral as soon as your thread of life had been cut."

It was true, what Thanatos had said. The man had truly been dead for quite a few days now, having passed away in his sleep at a ripe old age. But because he had continued to lie on his bed instead of lying in the earth soon after his thread has been cut by the Fates, his soul had managed to move out of his body and wander around his home, the place that he was very bonded to. Melinoe, who had been roaming the Aboveworld with her retinue of ghosts behind her, had chanced upon his spirit and his rotting corpse when she was passing by the village earlier in the night. She immediately took action by commanding one of her ghostly followers to possess a person to inform the temple officials of the old man's body, before she rushed down to the Underworld to inform her older sister and Thanatos. It was only now did the deities of Death were aware of the old man's passing.

The old man's soul heaved a saddened sigh. "It is no surprise that this is how my life ends," he murmured quietly under his breath. "By myself, in my isolated and empty home. No one there by my side, and no one there to mourn me as I took my last breath. Alone from the beginning, and alone to the end."

"Do you have no next of kin?" Macaria asked him politely.

At her question, more pain set into the soul's lifeless eyes as he sighed again and shook his head. "I do not have a next of kin for I have never wed, goddess. What woman would want to be my bride when I had killed my own mother as she suffered to bring me into this world?"

A thoughtful look took over Thanatos' pale features as he asked, "Is that why you are alone?"

The old man did not hesitate to nod his head in agreement, although it was clear that the thought of it pained him immensely.

"My father hated me for killing his wife. My siblings hated me for killing their mother. The villagers saw me as a curse to take away the life of an honest and good woman. Maybe it was my destiny to stay alone and be unloved, for this might be a punishment for taking away the life of the one person who suffered so much to bring me to life. I had brought death upon my poor mother."

Macaria could not help but be saddened to hear the old man's tale, and she could feel her heart breaking and tears forming at the corner of her eyes. It was such a depressing story of this mortal's life, and she knew very well that he did not actually deserve it. He had only been an innocent soul who did not mean to cause his mother to die during his birth. She knew and understood very well that it was never his intention to do so, and she felt internally angry at how all the people in the old man's life has been cruel to him by ignorantly thinking that he was a murderer.

But just then, her attentions moved onto Thanatos. Her partner moved towards the soul and knelt down in front of him, taking his hands in his and holding it in a gentle grasp. The old man looked up from the ground at him, looking genuinely confused as to what the God of Death was about to do to him.

There was clear sadness and pity in Thanatos' pale grey eyes as he gazed into the lifeless eyes of the soul, and there was tenderness in his movements as he brought one pale hand up to cup the soul's cheek affectionately – despite the fact that the old man was a soul, Thantos, being a deity of Death, had the power to touch him.

At the side, Macaria was stunned by the unexpected happenings. She was stunned because never before in all the times that she had been working with Thanatos had she ever seen him act in such a way. Never in the time that she had been with him had she ever experience him being so delicate with a soul. Usually, he would be aloof and neutral upon acting on his duties, not even coming into physical contact with the souls unless he needed to by force. But this was the first time he had ever been somewhat affectionate with one, especially when the comfort he was offering was actually genuine and truthful.

"Dear soul, let your pain go for you have finally left your past behind," Thanatos murmured to him gently in a soothing manner. "Your afterlife awaits you. You can forget about all the sorrows that had lingered in your heart when you had lived and breathed. There is no need to wallow and suffer more, because you will never have to face such cruelty again."

He then grasped both the old man's hands once again and urged him to stand up, signifying that he was now about to finally take him to the Underworld for his judgement. The old man followed him willingly, still holding onto Thanatos' hands, as though finding comfort in his grasp.

Thanatos did not pay mind to Macaria as he led the soul out of his former home, but she too stayed quiet in respect for him.

XXX

Macaria found Thanatos in the Elysian Fields, standing atop a cliff and watching the old man with a focused gaze. He only cast a brief glance to her when she came to stand by his side, before looking back to the old man. He did not catch the look of concern that was clear in her bright orange eyes, not noticing the way her thoughts were heavy on her mind.

"I have never seen you like that before," she remarked. "It was like a new part of you had just been revealed to me."

Macaria was genuinely surprised to see her lover act in a way he had never done so before, so she was curious as to what had prompted him to do so. Moreover, she wanted to know what was the reason for the sadness in his eyes at that moment.

"I pitied him, my dear," Thanatos told her softly. "It saddens me to see someone suffer so much from being alone, and it is very heart-breaking to see that they have never found happiness in their life. Wanting love but still remaining unloved. Yearning for company but never having anyone. Loneliness indeed does such pains to a delicate heart."

"You speak of it as though you know how it feels," she pointed out. True to her words, Thanatos had spoken with so much depth in her words, especially the look of understanding and recollection that appeared in his eyes as he did.

"Maybe because I do."

And that made Macaria become shock to her core at what she was hearing. Thanatos? An unloved and lonely soul? she wondered.

It was then Thanatos finally turned to gaze right at her bright soft orange eyes, looking at her with melancholic sadness clear in his pale grey eyes. "You must understand, sweet Macaria, that I was not a very well-loved being most of the time," he told her truthfully. "From young, I had always been despised by many, and being loved was a blessing that I did not have."

"Surely that is not true," she stated defensively, frowning in disagreement.

He released a soft sigh and shook his head in response. "No, it is very much true. If I did have love from others who were willing to stay by my side, it was only my mother and my twin brother. Aside from Nyx and Hypnos, nobody else would hold love for me or want to be with me. You are the first in many centuries, I must admit to you truthfully."

Macaria became even more ridden in disbelief, unable to fathom thought of Thanatos – her kind and caring Thanatos – being unloved and alone. Surely that could not be true. A person as good-hearted as he was would surely have garnered the love and affections of many before her. The thought of him not having the love of others was almost implausible, and it just simply does not suit.

"Why wouldn't anyone want to be with you?" she questioned him sadly. She did truly want to know what might be the reason that her dearest had to have faced such loneliness, heart heavy at the thought of how much it must have pained him.

It did not take long for Thanatos to answer with another heave of a melancholic sigh.

"They saw me as nothing but Death."

Afterwards, he said nothing more regarding the matter, only turning to her and offering her his hand, telling her that it was time that he brought her back to her family for he also had some duties to attend to. Despite not being satisfied with how he could just drop the subject like that, Macaria took his hand without hesitation and led her lead her back out of the Fields and into the palace, where he placed a chaste but loving kiss on her lips before moving off.

But in silent thought, she could not shake off the thought of what her lover had just revealed to her.

Author's Note :

This is a special fanfic that I had written for my wonderful reader, Brimo! It was actually supposed to be a Christmas present, but circumstances have caused me to push this to AAALLLLL THE WAAAAY to now... So sorry Brimo if I had kept you waiting for way too long! I had no intention to do so :(

But anyway, this might be considered my first M-rated story, because there will be sexual references, and actual sex in the end. However! It would start out soft-core with mentions of sex in some of the first six chapters (some chapters would actually be T-rated, to be honest...), but it's the final chapter that's really SEX. I really thought as putting this as a T-rating, but I am paranoid of being reported by some snitches. (Trust me, it happened to me twice)

SO! This is my first official ThanatosXMacaria story! This would take place after the one-shot Love Transcends Death and it would be about Macaria seeking out the story of Thanatos' lonely past. In this first chapter, an encounter with a soul has Macaria discovering a part of Thanatos that she knew nothing about, and she's determined to find out how terrible it had been for her lover. As for the soul, the reason why he's outcasted was because his mother died while giving birth to him. In some cultures during ancient times, when a woman dies during childbirth but should her child survive, the child is seen as cursed for 'killing' her and would face discrimination throughout their entire life. Thus, due to being outcasted by his peers, the soul dies lonely and sad, which ignites Thanatos' pity.

Since this is a short fanfic, I will update this as and when the time is suitable, so there is no real specific days. However, I can promise you that it would be updated quite frequently, so look out for the next chapter if you're interested!

Muse of Fanfiction