Chapter 9

Clary's POV:

"By the angel Clary! You act like I'm gonna kill you or something!" I'm still in shock. Seeing that familiar curtain of black hair when the door snapped open left me in a petrified state. In my mind I know I should be thinking thank God it's just Izzy, but I'm not sure if her presence is a blessing or a curse.

"Are you gonna talk, or are we just gonna stand here? I have way better things to do than wait for your skinny little body to wake up." Her tone brings me back to Earth. I may have let it go when we were in the car, but aside from Valentine and that bastard Sebastian, nobody gives me shit.

"Don't talk to me like you're some kind of superior. I thought me leaving was enough to get the message across that I didn't want to be found." I spit. "Just take your snotty ass back to the institute or whatever it's called and stay the hell away from me."

"Wow. Didn't think you had it in you to defend yourself. You were such a crying little mess when we met." She's smiling, but I don't return the favor. I don't need her approval, I need her absence.

"Stop talking and leave. I don't need you, you're psychotic brothers, or your pedophile of a tutor. You're all better off without me as deadweight anyway. Just go." I turn around and start throwing clothes into a backpack expecting her to walk out. I finally turn around when I don't hear the front door slam and she's standing there leaning up against the door frame staring at her perfect nails.

"Are you all packed, cause I was kinda supposed to bring you back ASAP if I were the one that found you and I did, so let's get a move on. Who does she think she is?

"I thought I made myself clear, but obviously your privileged little mind can't handle that much information at one time, so I'll make it easy for you. I'm. Not. Coming. With. You." I grab the strap of the backpack and swing it over my shoulder. I try to walk past her, but she blocks my path. I hate being small. "Move."

"Are you gonna cooperate and come with me?"

"No."

"Then I'm not moving."

"Fine." I scurry over towards the open window and suddenly a weird feeling surges through my body and before I know what's happening I jump through the window and land on the ground with a level of grace my body shouldn't be capable of. How did I do that? I start doing the cliche move where something weird happens to the girl in the movie and she starts staring at her hands like a newborn baby.

"What the hell?' I hear Isabelle say in pure surprise at what I just did. This is my only chance. I run as fast as I possibly can. I don't know where I'm going and right now it doesn't matter. All I can think is run fast and run hard. I hear the sound of heels hitting the worn down sidewalk. Jesus she runs fast. I pick up the pace. I know in the long run I'm gonna regret it, but my energy is needed right now. I keep thinking she's right behind me, about to grab me, and it makes me run faster. I run until I can't run anymore and I take in my surroundings. I'm outside the city. I immediately know where I ran to. I'm in front of the gate to a cemetery. I turn around, still breathing hard, and expect to see an annoyed Isabelle but she's not there. Nobody's there. Either I ran really fast or she ran really slow. Probably the latter.

I turn back around and push the gate open. This is the only place I've ever visited that's outside the city. I've been here twice but I only remember coming once. The only proof that I was ever here before then is a picture of me holding my father's hand at the age of three next to a square of fresh soil. He punched me in the face when he saw me holding it, the memory makes me shiver.

I keep walking until I reach the site I haven't been able to return to since the funeral. As I stare at the gravestone of my fallen best friend, I feel broken, like there's something missing with him gone. I forgot this feeling, it went away for the last two days. I've been wondering why. The tears start to fall as I read the words printed across the front.

Simon Lewis

A great friend, a loving brother, and an amazing son.

1997-2013

You will be in our hearts and minds forever.

I always wanted to see his mom and his sister. Tell them how sorry I am, but I never got the chance. After the funeral Valentine had me on lock down, always making sure that I never told. By the time he pulled back enough for me to sneak away, Mrs. Lewis and Rebecca had moved to join his uncle in Florida. I slide my bag off of my shoulders and sit on the ground. I pull my knees to my chest and try to accomplish the impossible feat of making myself seem smaller. I can't stop the tears now that they've started and I pray that nobody finds me.

Jace's POV:

"Damn it Izzy! You let her get away?!" I'm fuming. She actually found her and let her run away AGAIN!

"I didn't LET her run away! I ran as fast as I could! She's fast, faster than me." That surprises me. Clary faster than Izzy? I'm faster than Izzy, and Alec, but Clary's so much smaller. It physically makes no sense, unless she's a shadowhunter. Her father is Valentine Morgenstern, but she said her name was Clary Fray. Fray's not a shadowhunter name, and she doesn't look anything like him. I can't keep thinking about this while she's still missing. She needs to be back here. With me. My subconscious tells me. I can't think about that either.

"Earth to Jace!" she starts snapping in my face and I smack her hand away. "What now?" A name suddenly slips into my mind. Simon.

"We need to go back to the school." I'm already jogging before I'm finished speaking. It takes a minute before she starts following.

"Why do we need to go back to the school? I thought we already decided that the clave was wrong and there was no threat there."

"We need to go through their student records." I give her a look that says no more questions and we head outside. It started raining while we were inside and it's coming down in sheets. We're soaked within seconds of coming out the door. What if Clary's stuck outside? It's cold and judging by what Izzy told me she probably doesn't have a jacket. What if she's in trouble? What if she needs help? By the angel what is wrong with me? Girls don't matter to me. I want them, get to know them, then I don't want them anymore. Why is she different?

I start running towards the school. I need to find her as soon as possible. We get to the school and I immediately notice three security guards blocking the doors. We knock them out quickly and I kick the door in.

"Why didn't Alec come with us?" I hear Izzy ask.

"Because he's the reason she left." Just the memory of him speaking to her that way makes me want to punch him. He may be my best friend and my parabatai, but he acted like a dick towards her and it pissed me off royally.

"Why do you care? He wasn't wrong when he said she was deadweight." I turn around and get in Izzy's face.

"Shut the hell up! You don't talk bad about her. EVER!" I scream. "It doesn't matter why I care, I just do. Now lets get the information I need and find her. She's probably getting sick from the rain and cold as we speak." She looks pissed but she doesn't argue.

I open the door to the main office and head towards a large filing cabinet. I go through the shelves looking for anyone with the name Simon and I come up short. Then I check the bottom drawer where they keep the files of deceased students. Clary never said that Simon died but, his name seemed to make her sad, more sad then she would be if they had a fight.

I breeze through the files until one of them catches my eye. The tab says "Lewis 2013." I open it and sure enough the full name says "Simon Lewis." I start trying to think of all the places Clary would've run to, but all I really know about her is where she used to live and that she had a friend named Simon that she was close with. I know she's not at home so I get an idea. I get on the computer and look up local cemeteries. I get two results, one in the city and one a quarter mile outside the limits. I click on the one 's the only place he could've been buried if he died here. I look up the name "Lewis" and sure enough, he's the only Simon in a long list of Lewises. I shut down the computer and I'm out the door without another word.

I get there in record time and start running like a mad man trying to find her familiar red hair. I think I've looked at every gravestone here, and no sign of Clary, but I can't leave. For some reason, I feel like she's here. I keep looking, but the rain makes it hard to see.

"Jace! She's not here! Even if she is we can't find her with it raining like this!" Izzy yells at me.

"Then leave! Go back to the institute and wait for me to come back. I'm gonna find her!" I'm not gonna stop until I see that she's safe.

"Fine! Act like a crazy person! See you when you come to your senses and come back to the institute sick!" She storms off but I don't have the time or energy to deal with her drama. I keep looking for another twenty minutes and it's starting to feel like a lost cause. I turn to start heading back, already planning my next move when I hear someone sniffling. The rain hasn't let up, but I try to follow the sound and then I see her.

Her fiery hair is brown from the rain and she's lying on the ground curled up in a tiny little ball. I run to her side and pull her to an upright position. She doesn't look at me and I immediately start searching her body for injuries of any kind. I don't see any, but then again it's hard to see anything.

"Clary look at me are you hurt?" My voice is urgent and I'm going crazy the longer it takes her to look at me. I put my hands on either side of her face and turn her head to look at me. Her eyes look empty, like someone took everything out of her and left a hollow shell of her body. "Clary! Answer me please!" I'm desperate at this point.

"I'm not hurt." She croaks. I put a hand on her shoulder and she's trembling. Her eyes glance at my hand and then back to me and it's strange. Suddenly she doesn't look empty anymore. She looks alive, like she was woken up from a trance. Her teeth start chattering and her arms immediately wrap around herself desperately trying to get warm. I pull her small body into my arms and hold her close with her head against my chest.

"I'm gonna take you back to the institute." She pulls back and stares at me pure horror written on her face.

"I can't go back there. I shouldn't even be talking to you, let alone letting you touch me." She suddenly wriggles her way out of my grasp and hits the ground running. She may have been too fast for Izzy but I'm not gonna let her get away. "Go away!" she screams. It sounds like it pains her to say that to me. I catch up quickly and pull her back into my arms and put a hand behind her head forcing her to bury her face in my chest. She's sobbing now.

"Why can't you let me be. You'll get hurt, or you'll end up like Simon. I don't want that for you or your family. Hell I wouldn't even wish it on Alec. Please just go." She tries to pull away but I stand my ground. She's not getting away again.

"I don't care. Nothing bad is gonna happen to me or you or anyone okay? I promise. And as for why I can't let you be. I don't have an answer. All I know is I don't want to be apart from you. It's strange and I don't understand it, but when you left, I was terrified. Please just come back with me. Please?" She burrows into my body like she's hiding and after a long while she finally looks at me.

"Can we go now? I'm cold and I have a headache." I smile and nod. We start walking back towards the city and I start wondering how she got here so fast. I turn to ask, but one look at her face tells me it's been a long day and I should ask after she's had time to rest. We finally make it back into the city limits and the rain has finally stopped giving me a clear view of Clary's face. She looks dead on her feet and utterly drained. I hail a cab and help her in. By the time we reach the institute she looks ready to fall over, and really pale. I toss the driver way too much money and pull her out of the car. I carry her inside and up to my room as fast as I can.

"You need to change out of those clothes." She sighs and covers her face with her hands.

"I left my bag in the cemetery." Her voice is muffled. I grab a long sleeved t-shirt and an old pair of sweats that no longer fit me from my drawer and walk towards her. I pull her hands away from her face. She should never cover her face, she's too beautiful for that. I think. I'm too tired to be annoyed by my weird thoughts towards her.

"It's okay. You can wear these." I hand her the clothes and she looks at me with kind eyes.

"Thank you." She walks towards the small bathroom attached to my room and closes the door behind her. I decide to get changed out of my clothes too. I put on a plain gray t-shirt and a pair of dark pajama pants and lay down on my bed. A few seconds later she walks out of the bathroom looking extremely cute in my clothes that are so huge on her that she has to keep one hand on the pants to keep them up.

"Your clothes are a little big on me" she states with an embarrassed smile on her face.

"A little." I chuckle. She just looks so damn cute, and pretty. "Come here." She walks towards me looking slightly confused and I put my hand out. She puts hers in mine and I pull her onto the bed next to me.

"What are you doing?" She looks utterly shocked and I smile at her. She pulls her knees up to her chest and assumes the position she had in the graveyard. I move closer to her and she leans away.

"Please stop moving away from me." I scooch a little closer and she stares wide eyed at me.

"Why would you wanna be closer to me?" My heart literally breaks a little at her words. How can she not see how incredibly beautiful and desirable she is?

"Because...because I don't know why. I've never felt this way with anyone and I know you feel something too. Tell me I'm wrong." She sighs but says nothing. She looks hesitant and I know it's because of what happened to her friend Simon. I want to ask but I don't want her to go back to that empty state she was in at his grave site. Instead I wrap my arm around her shoulder and use the other to move her legs so they're stretched to their full length, which isn't much. I fit her into my side and she rests her head on my chest before I turn out the light.

I whisper to her as she falls asleep. "Goodnight beautiful" I hear her gasp but she doesn't say anything. I take this as a good sign and give her a gentle kiss on her forehead. Again she doesn't say anything but when I look down at her sleeping face and the corners of her mouth are tugged up into a small smile.

I don't know what these feelings are, but I hope they never go away. I quickly fall into a deep sleep holding the most amazing girl I have ever met.