Author's Note: Mentions of character death and cancer. This story is set eight months after the death of Finn Hudson where Rachel Berry begins a struggle of her outside of her grief. Also, I am extremely sorry about the lack of updates however this chapter will be followed by another. Once again, thank you all for the lovely comments and thank you for sticking with me through this. – Jess.

Chapter Nine – Pieces Of Us

Perhaps it was crazy, wanting to have a baby with your dying fiancé but to Puck it was one of the biggest things he wanted with Rachel. For the past few months they had been discussing everything from marriage to children and the defeat of cancer itself. In that time she had gone through a blood transfusion, another few rounds of chemo and was doing okay as far as her results were showing. Mentally she was a wreck but she had somehow managed to make sure there was a funeral planned in case the worst happened. They had both been going through so much and trying their hardest to really get through everything. That was why Puck made the decision he had, he had gone and had his sperm collected in preparation of finding the perfect surrogate for them. Perhaps it was rushed and a little too soon but he was desperate not to lose Rachel and desperate to hold onto whatever little piece of her that he possibly could. He had been away on and off completing his training and each time he left got a little harder, each time Rachel's name showed up on caller ID his heart would race as he assumed the worst only to hear her voice tired yet still chipper on the end. She was his heart and he was holding onto her with a vice like grip and wanted to do everything possible to ensure that she was never forgotten no matter what happened.

That was why as he got out of his beat up old pickup truck and walked up to the door of her Bushwick apartment he came armed with pamphlets and folders and hoped she wouldn't freak out on him. Kurt let him in and Santana being true to herself teased him for looking like a nerd only to receive a glare as he continued on through the apartment. Reaching Rachel's room he walked in and saw her sitting in bed with his sweater on flicking through photo albums with watery eyes. He knew without a doubt that she wasn't ready to leave this world, she was meant to go on and become a Broadway star, showing the world that they were all wrong about the loud Jewish girl from Lima, Ohio. She had so much potential right there in her tiny frame that he didn't want it to go to waste and he thought that if there was ever a shred of doubt in her mind about her chances of survival that adding something/someone else to fight for would give her even more of a chance of beating this thing.

Silently sitting beside her he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his broad chest, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "I had an idea." He whispered after they sat there quietly for a solid twenty minutes. "What is it, Noah?" She asked with those familiar curious brown eyes staring up at him with such love and admiration shining through one simple glance and in that moment Puck made a mental note to never forget the way that she looked at him. "We get a surrogate, I know I don't have much to offer you other than my heart and you have it, you have it completely but Rach I want a baby with you and I want you to have someone else to fight for other than just me and your dads. I know it sounds crazy and maybe it is but you were made to be a mom and I want nothing more than to be a dad, I know you're sick and the future is uncertain but I think this might be something that we need. Something worth trying." He explained, he was rambling which was completely unlike Noah Puckerman to ever do but for some reason he didn't seem to be able to control himself as he looked down at the woman he loved so thin and pale in his arms.

Rachel just stared at Puck for a few moments, considering his proposition and slowly beginning to realise that perhaps he was right, maybe this was a good thing and something she could fight for. "Is it really the wisest idea?" She asked worriedly and Puck just shrugged. "I'm not the smartest dude, Rach but I'd give everything to see you smile and become a mother." He admitted which only had Rachel smiling a little more. "You don't have to say yes or no right now but just think about it and know that whatever happens I'll do everything I can for you and our baby." Puck said while gently rubbing her back and holding her a little closer. The quieter the room became the more worried Puck got because Rachel Berry was never quiet, she was loud, outspoken, opinionated and stubborn as anything. There wasn't a thing that stood in her way and it was killing him to see her so beaten down by cancer and even hearing her talking about a funeral was enough to break his heart. The mere thought of losing her was far too much to handle and he wasn't quite sure that he would be able to prepare himself for such a thing. Looking down he soon felt his fears ease when he saw she was only sleeping, head against his heart and her chest slowly rising and falling with the steady breaths she was taking. Cancer may have robbed Rachel of a lot but it had never once taken away her spirit or her determination. She was still the Rachel he had met back at Temple when they were kids and she was still perfect to him in every single way. Laying down with her he pulled the blankets over them both and kissed the side of her head hoping that even in her sleep she would know that he was there with her, holding her, protecting her and keeping her warm.

Puck didn't sleep that night, instead he laid there watching his fiancé sleeping and memorising every little detail about her features and the way that she seemed so peaceful in her slumber. The entire night he wondered what it would be like if there ever came a day where he couldn't fall asleep with her body nestled against his and just how perfectly she fit against the side of his body. She was everything that he needed and so much more, she had changed him to a degree and was her equal. He had somehow opened up more and become such a different person after they lost Finn. It was losing Finn that brought him to her and all she could do was hope that somewhere up there in the universe Hudson was looking over her and doing everything he could to ensure that she didn't join him. "Don't take her away from me just yet, Hudson. I need a little more time." He whispered, ignoring the burning in his eyes as the tears welled up again. He wasn't one to cry, ever, yet there he was on the verge of tears at the prospect of losing the one person who ever truly believed in him.

At some point he must have fallen asleep because the next morning as the sun streamed through the dark curtains that were parted slightly and Rachel was there, running her fingers through the hair on top of his head and dropping subtle kisses to his cheek. "Good morning sleepy head." She whispered before Puck's eyes opened and he smiled sleepily up at her. It looked as though she had been up for a while though, there was papers spread out all across her bed, lists were written in true Rachel Berry style and it seemed as though she had been doing some kind of research on her phone when he spotted that it was opened to a webpage he couldn't quite see. "Mornin' to you too." He hummed as he pushed himself up to be sitting up. "What's all this?" He asked before spotting all of the potential surrogates that were written on her list and the list filled with pro's and con's. Rachel was always one to enjoy control, to want to control as many aspects of her life as possible and this was no different. If they were going to go through with it she would be in charge and find them the perfect surrogate after doing a crazy amount of research into whoever she picked initially although he had no doubt that she was researching everything possible about all of the women she had on her rather short list. "I'm looking into a surrogate, you're right, life is short and I want us to have a baby too. But that being said I'd also like a small wedding with our families and closest friends there because I want to be your wife before we have a baby. I want to tie myself to you in every way possible and make sure the world knows that Noah Puckerman is my husband and that in the time we get together we've done everything we could to make each other happy and that we were completely, irrevocably, head over heels in love with one another." She explained and Puck took her rambling and her smile as the sign of a good day ahead for them both. She was lucid and happy and her entire being was lighting up at the mention of becoming parents.

That day in the little apartment Rachel knew as home, her and Puck decided to have a baby and to interview four potential women to carry their baby. Of course it was going to be a struggle watching someone else grow their child, carry him or her to full term and give birth to their baby but at the same time she was completely aware that conceiving and carrying a child herself may be one of the most difficult things and that it might not even be a possibility for her due to all of the chemo and the damage it could have caused her body. In that same day they also decided to get married the following Saturday in Central Park with her parents, Jake, his mother and little sister Sarah and Santana, Kurt and Blaine there. It was going to be small and intimate and absolutely perfect. Everything they both wanted and so much more. Kurt had already agreed to go and help find Rachel a dress and while they were doing that Puck called in every favour possible and got to planning a dream wedding for his dream girl following the specific instructions he had been given.

Some people would call them crazy, especially Puck but this was what he wanted and he would go to the far ends of the earth and beyond to give Rachel every little thing that she wanted and so much more. She was the most important thing to him and he was going to make sure that she didn't go so much as a few hours without being reminded of how loved she was by him and how important she was to him. Some of their Glee Club friends especially Santana would call him whipped but he wasn't the boy he had been in Lima, he was a man, a man who had lost his best friend and was now losing the love of his life. He had been through a lot of pain in many different forms and all of that had changed him. Whether it was for better or worse he was unsure a lot of the time but his relationship had changed him for the better. She loved him in a way that no one had ever loved him before, she took it to a whole other level and he wasn't sure why she loved him the way that she did but he never asked questions, he took it with a smile and a grateful heart. In their time together she had shown him a whole new world and all throughout high school she had been there, she had believed in him and she had so much left to offer that he was beginning to wonder why she was so sick and what force had allowed such an awful thing to happen to her.

Hours passed before Kurt returned with an exhausted but happy looking Rachel who slipped into bed, resting her head on his thigh and sighing out. Naturally he reached out to run his fingers over her smooth scalp and watched as she relaxed. "I have everything sorted with your dads, my mom and sister and Jake are all coming and it's going to be amazing, babe. We're going to be married by this time next Saturday and I'm going to be the luckiest idiot on the face of the earth." He was as giddy as a school girl crushing on a guy for the very first time and he didn't give a damn. There was a lot of dark clouds looming over their heads but for the time being he was allowing himself to be happy and excited over the fact that his girl was not going to remain his girlfriend but she was going to become his wife and he was going to proudly sport a wedding ring on his left hand even if it was only something cheap. He wasn't made of money but he was determined to do everything possible to give Rachel the happiest life possible for as long as he possibly could. "Mrs Rachel Puckerman, I could get used to that." Rachel whispered as her chocolate coloured eyes stared up at Puck with her smile reaching them for the millionth time that day. She had seemed so happy all day and all Puck could do was smile back at her and watch the way the light danced in her eyes and the life seemed to be beaming from her entire being. This was the Rachel he knew and loved, the one filled with passion and fire doing everything she possibly could to make the simple things in life absolutely amazing and she did. She made every little thing amazing Puck whether it was from a glance to a kiss or even sex, everything was heightened and amazing and he found himself falling deeper and deeper every single day. "I love you Rachel Berry almost Puckerman." He whispered and dropped a kiss to her forehead.