A/N - This is just a quick little thingie I wrote to help us deal with the last episode, because, well, I didn't like it. So thanks for reading!

Okay, so I admit, I'm not the best girlfriend ever. Whatever. I do love Leonard; it took me long enough to figure that out. And we have fun together. And, I mean, it's so convenient. He lives right across the hall from me. We like some of the same stuff. The sex is pretty good. So what if he infuriates me sometimes? That happens in every relationship, right?

But sometimes when I drift off into daydream land (which is happening more than usual lately since I don't even have a job anymore), I'm not always thinking about Leonard. This has been going on way too long for my enjoyment, but I can't even help it anymore, it's like a reflex. Because the thing about Sheldon is…he can be annoying and weird and everything, but damn, he's cute. And he says these things to me sometimes that are just so endearing, I want to puke. After all these years, we know each other well enough to co-exist peacefully. Sometimes I really do think he's my best friend. Not the same kind of BFF as Amy, but one who understands me on a cosmic level. He's never cared about my looks (I mean, he cares; it's so cute when he doesn't think I know he's peaking) and he's taught me so much about all kinds of things, not just nerd stuff. And man does he make a suit look good. *fans self*

So it's the day after Valentine's Day and I'm sitting on my couch being lazy, catching up on Scandal and reading Glamour magazine. I should go to the gym but it's leg day and I hate leg day. Hmm, I still have half a bottle of wine in the kitchen somewhere…

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Penny.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Penny.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Penny.

Speak of the devil…it's exactly 11:00 AM, the earliest time of which I can be summoned without the threat of bodily harm. Sheldon has this down. I've taught him well.

I open the door knowing exactly what I'm going to find. That's another thing about Sheldon Cooper—he's so utterly punctual, reliable, and dependable. I mean, who doesn't like that about a person?

"Hi, Moonpie, what's up?" I ask. I know it drives him crazy. I know. But I can't help it.

He doesn't even bother correcting me. "Well, it's Saturday morning and I was ready to eat my cereal, since I always have cereal on Saturday morning, as you know. However, I looked in the refrigerator and we appear to be out of milk. Which is odd, because I recall there being a full jug of milk on Thursday. Therefore I came to the conclusion that you are once again a milk thief. Please relinquish the milk, Penny. I am hungry."

I grin. "Wow, Sheldon, in another life you could have been a detective."

"Yes, well, in this one, it's 11:00 and I still haven't had my cereal," he says, looking rather perturbed. "At this point, it might make more sense to wait for lunch, but…"

"But then your routine gets interrupted and that's no good," I finish for him, now feeling kind of crappy for "borrowing" the milk. I get up and go to the kitchen to retrieve it from the refrigerator. Sheldon follows me. I hand him the milk, he says, "Thank you," and that should be the end of our transaction. But he stands there like a statue, kind of looking weirdly lost or out of place. Is he having an episode of some kind?

"Sheldon? What's up, sweetie?" I ask tentatively.

"I kissed Amy last night," he kind of blurts out, and exhales.

"Oh, yeah?" Oh, yeah. That. I act clueless because I know he'd be kind of mortified if he was aware that I knew about the kiss. But honestly, by midnight last night, not only had I learned every single detail of the kiss from Amy, but Leonard had texted me about it, too. News travels fast in our little circle. Amy said Sheldon kissed her and it started out as kind of a joke but turned into something serious. Sheldon even grabbed her waist! For some reason, I find this both delightful and heartbreaking. I don't know, I'm weird.

"Yes. I kissed her. Like mommies and daddies do," Sheldon says, looking at his shoes. I used to find his total disinterest in this kind of thing kind of odd, but now I think it's cute. And, I don't know…hot? In some weird way? Ugh, don't talk to me.

"Well, did you like it?" I ask, sensing he wants to talk about it.

"It wasn't entirely unpleasant," Sheldon replies. "It was certainly more pleasurable than when Mrs. Hofstadter kissed me, and a lot longer than the first time Amy kissed me in her state of inebriation."

I think back to the time Leonard's mom drunkenly kissed Sheldon. That was a secret I'd be taking to my grave. "Interesting," I say. "Do you think you want to do it again?"

"Perhaps," he says. "It wasn't as disagreeable as I thought, and it wasn't like when Meemaw kisses me on the cheek, either. I think further observation might be required."

Sheldon looks proud of himself, and it's freakin' adorable. My little whackadoodle, all grown up. But there's something else lurking under the surface that's making me really uncomfortable. I think it might be something close to jealously. I don't get it. I love Leonard. Amy is my best friend. Sheldon is my next door neighbor. Why in the world would I be jealous?

"Well, good for you," I say, trying to shake it off. It makes no sense. Maybe I'm still drunk from last night. Wait, no, Leonard and I came home from the vet and went to bed; we didn't drink anything. Hmm. "So anyway, there's your milk, I promise I'll go to the grocery store tomorrow. My mom is loaning me some money until I get back on my feet."

Sheldon nods. He's holding the milk but he still isn't moving. I mean, I do have plans today, is he going to wrap this up soon, or…

"I thought it was going to be you," he blurts out again, and I have no idea what he just said, so I say, "What was that, sweetie?" And he says, "I thought it was going to be you." And this makes no sense to me because he can't possibly be saying what I think he's saying. Is he?

"You thought what was going to be me?" I ask, confused but yet intrigued.

Sheldon sighs. "I thought you were going to be the one to kiss me first." And I die.

Actually, I smile, and I come over to him and say, "Come on, let's sit down." We both sit down my sofa and reflect for a moment. "Why did you think that?"

"I don't know; I don't have a logical reason for it. But based on my physical biological attraction to you, and the fact that you have had many suitors and thus much more experience in this area than I do, I just assumed it would happen someday. Plus, I have had many dreams depicting this situation. A lot more than I'm comfortable with, in fact."

Okay, see, here's where I admit that I find this to be exceptionally hot, and I, too, have had dreams like this, except we're doing a lot more than kissing. And before Leonard and I got back together, I thought a lot about dating Sheldon and what that would entail. The truth is, maybe it would be interesting for a while, but Sheldon and I could never end up together. It's no secret that intimacy is just too important to me, and I would not be able to settle for an 11 second kiss on a train three years into a relationship. I think we're much better friends. But I won't lie; I have imagined myself as Sheldon's kissing tutor a time or two. Don't look at me like that.

I reach for Sheldon's hand and for some reason he lets me hold it. "That's sweet, Sheldon. I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind. It's like you said a few weeks ago—we're dreamers. We believe in each other, and I think that's kind of powerful, don't you?" He nods, deep in thought. "But I'm so happy for you and Amy, and I'm glad you weren't totally disgusted by the intimacy. I think you two really have what it takes to make it." And I do. Their relationship may seem a little strange to outsiders, but it works for them. And Amy has the patience of a saint.

Sheldon nods and says, "Yes, I suppose this does mean that we're in it for the long haul." He chuckles to himself. "That was a train reference."

"Oh," I say. "Well, that was…very funny. Anyway, why don't you take your milk, I don't want to be the reason you miss your bowl of cereal today."

"My cereal, yes," Sheldon says, suddenly coming back to life. He gets up and grabs his milk and walks to the door. With his hand on the doorknob, he says, "Thank you, Penny. You are a good friend. Leonard is very lucky."

I smile. "Thank you, Sheldon. So is Amy." And before I can even blink, Sheldon is hugging me, and it's nice and warm and important, and then he's leaving, and right before he disappears I say, "Sheldon? See you in the laundry room tonight." He gives me one second of the most adorable grin ever, and then he's gone.

Soon, Leonard's going to come over and we're going to have lunch and go see a movie with Howard and Bernadette, but for now, I just want to think about the kiss that got away.