Hi! This is Storm here, with a slightly random idea, inspired by a quote that I came up with yesterday, when I had become a serious electrical conductor, and was receiving electric shocks from every piece of metal within a close range for the whole day. After coming up with the quote, my brother has been insisting that I wrote this, and I refused, until he threatened me with forcing me to listen to 'One Direction' (no offence, but I can't stand them), so I gave in, so here I am, writing this with added comments in bold by my brother, who has nicknamed himself 'Storm-eyes-penguin' (Hi, I'm in bold, and Storm-eyes-penguin is a super macho name, so don't judge me.) On that note, we have kidnapped Jason to make him say the disclaimer. Go on!
Jason: do I have to?
Storm-eyes-penguin: *gives death glare and pulls out celestial bronze sword* care to reconsider?
Jason: fine! Storm-eyes-osprey and Storm-eyes-penguin don't own Percy Jackson or the Heroes of Olympus. *Rolls eyes* happy now?
Storm-eyes-penguin: Fine, Superman, but you can find your own way back to Camp.
Jason: *flies away*
Storm-eyes-osprey: now that that is out of the way, on with the fanfic!
How to be a Demigod (ish)
Child of Zeus: Shuffle your feet really hard on a carpet, and feel the lightning! (aka: staticy stuff)
Child of Poseidon: Carry a water gun around in your pocket. Enemies: prepare to get drenched!
Child of Hades: if you have one, insist that your pet dog is a Hellhound. Also, perfect your death stare *glares creepily at the computer screen*
Child of Hera: act queenish. Or, just cease to exist!
Child of Demeter: Comment on the nutritional values of cereal whenever possible, and talk plant language. For extra authenticity, carry fertiliser. Everywhere.
Child of Ares: punch things. 'nuff said?
Child of Athena: read, strategize, plan, talk architecture. Also, being a nerd helps. Shut up.
Child of Apollo: Carry a flashlight in your pocket to simulate sun power when angry. Basically, wave bright things in people's faces. Also, write awful haikus.
Child of Artemis: wear a lot of silver and generally scorn boys. I take offense from that.
Child of Hephaestus: carry random wires and metal bits around, and fiddle with them at strange intervals, even if you have no idea what you are doing with them. Also, 'forge' plastic swords in your bedroom (more fun than it sounds!)
Child of Aphrodite: Give dating advice, and gossip. Trust me. They gossip a LOT!
Child of Hermes: Prank, steal, and selotape a pair of paper wings to your shoes. Also, eating lots of Haribos makes you run faster, but also results in a massive sugar rush *grins manically whilst attempting to hide an empty pack of Tangfastics*.
Child of Dionysus: Eat grapes, wear purple and paaarrtyyy! Note: being a child of Dionysus does not give you an excuse to drink wine if you are under 18. Trust me, you get weird looks if you tell a bartender you can drink wine because you are the child of a wine god.
Child of Iris: one word: rainbows
Child of Hypnos: Sleep, sleep, sleep and…..sleep! Also….sleep!
Child of Hecate: Shout random incantation things in Latin, and insist that your best friend is a mistform. When people doubt that, show them a notebook with an outline of a person in, and tell them that you can summon them back into the notebook, but if you do, monsters will attack you. Warning: this may also result in strange looks from the general public (aka: mortals) they will cower under my supreme, macho penginess!
And that, fellow mortals and demigods, is how to pretend to be a demigod, and the sort of crazy stuff that happens when you get me and my brother to collaborate. I'm fed up of being friendly! *pulls out water gun and squirts storm-eyes-osprey* Hey! *also grabs water gun, and starts massive waterfight with water balloons and water guns*
10 minutes later…..
*Throws last water balloon* don't forget to review!
*Peeks up from behind the sofa* and Favourite! *Gets hit by water balloon, and ducks back behind the sofa*
Storm-eyes-penguin is not a real account, but (unfortunately) my brother is real, and feel free to suggest ideas!
The end…. For now!
Storm (X2)!