Letters to my Yami

Disclaimers: Yugioh does not belong to me

Warnings: Male x Male, OOCness

Chapter Five

April 18th, 2061

I feel like I've finally found what I've been searching for. This morning, I was running late for school (isn't that hard to believe?!) and suddenly, this car pulls up beside me. It was Seto. You know, I almost thought he was going to run me over from that sadistic gleam in his lovely eyes. (Am I masochist?) At least he noticed me. He spoke to me, asked me if I wanted a ride. Heh, who was I to decline? We held a somewhat forced conversation on the way to school. I tried to pry into his personal business and he nearly bit my head off. What is it about him that makes him so guarded towards the rest of the world? What sort of tragedy occurred to leave this...this shell of a human being that used to have a soul? Maybe one day, he'll tell me. Oh, I feel so embarrassed. I'm already planning out forever-happily-ever-after. Shame on me. I don't even know if he likes other boys. I doubt it. He's too gorgeous to swing my way. Though, isn't it usually the pretty ones that are gay? He's not pretty. Pretty is me. Cute is Yuugi. Handsome is Jou. Beautiful is Seto.

I guess I sort of hope that we might be able to have a relationship but who am I kidding? He's a billionaire that can have any man or woman he wants at his beck and call. More experienced and attractive lovers. Oh, I have to stop thinking about him. What's that they say? The more you ignore love, the deeper it buries itself? I've never had truer thoughts then these. Perhaps, my heart's already made it's mind up. It wants Seto. I know my body wants him. I only have to imagine what he would be like naked to immediately need to take a cold shower. I've never been affected this way before in my life! That's a lie. Yami no Bakura can make me feel the same way. Though, essentially, he's my twin. Is that like wanting to have sex with yourself? I'd just die if he read this but I don't even think he can read. From what I've picked up on, he didn't have a very nice life in Egypt. He was thief from what I deduce. And thieves can't read.

If I had to choose between Seto or my yami, who would it be? Not like it's going to happen. It's a pleasant fantasy to imagine them fighting over me. I'm blushing like a bride on her wedding night! One day, my dream might become a reality. I'd be a very happy boy if it did.

Ryou Bakura

"Ryou wasn't pretty. Ryou was gorgeous," Seto admitted, setting the journal down on the couch. "I didn't think he'd been attracted to me from our first meeting. He never told me. I never asked either. It's obvious that he loved you." Blue eyes glanced at the sullen yami. "And it's obvious who he chose though, I don't think it was a decision. I think it was something he knew he had to do. He knew that your main goal was in pursuing the Sennen Items."

"You're one to talk. You're only goals have been about your business. Did you ever separate your professional life from your life with Ryou? Did he ever take first place over your inventions?" Bakura snorted, shaking his head. "Well?"

"I'm sorry to say that no, he didn't take precedence over my company. My brother doesn't even come that close. I spent my entire life busting my ass just to make it in this world. Ryou understood and he wasn't bothered by the fact. He was content to be with me when I came home."

"I guess we'll find out soon enough if that's how Ryou actually felt."

"I suppose we will."

April 20th, 2061

I've just secured my place in the Duelist Kingdom. I don't really know how but I received my letter in the mail. I think Yami had something to do with it. I hate to think about what he did to get the job done. In two days, I leave. I'm nervous and anxious; because of what Yami might do. I'd hate for him to kill someone and that would in turn get my in trouble. I doubt I could tell the police that my other half murdered a bunch of people. They'd lock me up in a strait jacket and throw the key away. Then I'd be stuck with Yami for life in an asylum. At least I wouldn't be lonely. The voice in my head would keep me company.

Seto and I had a date. Okay, it wasn't a date, date but it was close enough. We went to the movies as 'friends.' In my demented mind, we went as boyfriends. I'm positive that's what some of the couples thought. Especially this really old couple behind us. We went and saw Alien versus Predator. I have to say, those movies usually don't go up my aisle but that one did! At first I thought I should root for the Aliens because the Predator's killed all of the humans on the camp but later on, the Predator's became the good guy's. I got so scared a bunch of times. I actually held onto his hand and he let me! I rested my head against his shoulder throughout the really scary parts. He didn't seem to mind. I cried at the end and can you believe it? He wiped my tears away. This couldn't have been the same asshole during school that Jou hates with all his passion. I thought the Alien's might have gotten a hold of him. Yami seemed to be interested in the movie, anyway. I know because he was cheering at the gory parts. Freak.

Okay, so if the hand holding and shoulder-resting wasn't enough, he walked me to my door. I felt so lighthearted, like I was floating on some distant cloud without a care in the world. We got to my door and said our goodbyes. Just as I was about to go inside, Seto pulled me by my arm and kissed me! It wasn't anything too intense, just a quick peck on the lips but it was enough to send me to heaven. I'm hoping he'll call me later on tonight and we can talk about what exactly that kiss meant. I might not be exactly well taught in the area of friendship but, I know that friends don't kiss each other at the end of the night.

Ryou Bakura

"I didn't mean to kiss him." Seto laughed, remembering Ryou's face and how sweet he'd tasted. "It was the furthest thing on my mind. In fact, what I wanted was to just shake his hand, tell him that I'd had a good time but when he turned around and those eyes were fixed on me... I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to bring some happiness to him. Of course, with that first kiss, I knew I wanted more. I made it my mission to seduce Ryou, not expecting the consequences. I fell in love."

Bakura nodded his head, folding his arms in front of his chest. "You're not the first one to stake their claim on him. He never saw how wonderful he was. It's too late now. I should have acted sooner. I could have saved him."

"No one could have saved him, Bakura. Ryou's time had come and he was prepared to say goodbye. Believe me, he wasn't afraid of dieing. You know, he told me everything there was to tell about you. He told me several times that he loved you. I was jealous and rightly so. Even back then, I had this fear that he would never love me like he loved you. You're part of his soul. Nothing can change that, not even death."

"Yeah," Bakura breathed. "Did he ever forgive me?"

"Everyday."

April 21st, 2061

Alright, I'm througouly and utterly confused. Yesterday, Seto kissed me and today, Yami kissed me! Was he jealous of me and Seto. He didn't even offer any word of explanation. He just grabbed by my shoulders, flung me against the wall and kissed me. God, I know my back's bruised. He needs a lesson in romance and courtship. Maybe they did things differently back then. Anyway, this wasn't like Seto's kiss. This kiss was all about control and power. And unlike Seto's kiss, this one was much, much more erotic. His hands were all over my body, touching in places that I hadn't been touched in a while. His mouth was everywhere, on my lips, earlobes, neck, shoulders; consuming me. That's a good word. Consume. Like he was consuming food, he was trying to eat me. Once he'd locked lips with me again, his hands were in my hair and his tongue was trying to play tonsil hockey. Then as quickly as it had began, he was gone. Just, upped and vanished into thin air. Oh, I was furious. Here I was, completely ravaged with a raging boner and the bastard left me hanging. So, cold shower, I went.

I can only assume that Yami knew about my and Seto's kiss. I don't know if I should be flattered or disturbed by Yami's apparent envy. On the one hand, if he's jealous because I'm thinking of being with another boy, that's good. However, if he's jealous because he doesn't want his property being stolen away from him, that's not good. I just want to slap him but then I know I'd only be setting myself up for punishment that I really don't want to receive. One more day and it's off to Duelist Kingdom.

Ryou Bakura

"That's....news to me." Seto shook his head. "I didn't know you two had kissed.'

"I wouldn't call it a kiss. I'd call it that I was in my bitch mode and I wanted to make him suffer for even thinking about going near you. Now, yeah, I admit I was jealous. I had Ryou by his nuts before he began to show interset in you."

"You love him."

"Yes."

"All I wanted was to be loved and, my fondest wish will never become a reality. Not with the man I want at least." Ryou's voice came to Seto's mind as he stared at Bakura. Life wasn't fair at all. Not for him, not for Bakura and definitely not for Ryou.