Because I'm in love with you.

It's not beautiful, it's not everything the movies and tv shows and books promise that it will be; it's three words made up of eight different letters and it's a lie just as often as it's a promise. And it doesn't float in the air, it doesn't slowly cascade to the ground and dissipate beautifully; it shatters. It's ugly and scared and spoken like a question from shaking hands that already know the answer.

"You've said that before" Bo's voice is cold.

"I know" Tamsin's is colder.

"Are you saying that you mean it this time?" Bo is testing her and Tamsin hates it.

So Tamsin tests her back, "What, you're not going to ask me to say it again?"

Bo clenches her jaw; her hands are covering her still naked chest, "Just answer the damn question Tamsin."

Tamsin throws up her hands, laughs humorlessly, "I've always meant it Bo."

"Then why the hell did you spin that bullshit about only saying it because we were in the middle of fucking?" Bo reluctantly removes one of her arms from her chest to reach for her shirt and pulls it over her head.

"You have no right to ask me that question, Bo."

"The hell I don't -" Bo tries to protest but Tamsin cuts her off.

"Yeah the hell you don't Bo, fuck you!"

Bo scoffs, "Oh, one minute you love me now it's all 'fuck you!'?"

Tamsin struggles with the clasp of her bra; her hands are shaking, "Yes Bo that's exactly it," She gives up, instead pulling the blanket hanging on the back of the couch to cover her naked torso, "fuck you because you knew how I felt, you knew that I meant every word. And you begged me to keep saying it. Do you remember that Bo? Or did you conveniently forget all about how you used me not just to fuck you but to love you! Don't pretend like that's not what you have been doing this whole entire time! This isn't about sex," She gestures between the two of them but Bo isn't looking at her, "you could have sex with anybody you wanted. No, this is about you needing to feel loved and so you used me because you knew how I felt about you. And you bought all of my excuses because you needed to, because you needed to convince yourself that you weren't using me." Tamsin shakes her head and laughs bitterly, "God, I have been sitting here for months afraid to tell you something you already knew."

Tamsin looks over at Bo who is still sitting with her head hung afraid to even look in Tamsin's direction, she shakes her head, stands and pulls her shirt over her head. But just as Tamsin is about to walk away Bo reaches up and grabs her wrist, "Tamsin please I…I care about you Tamsin I do."

Tamsin yanks her wrist away violently, and she tries to walk away but her body still feels warm in all the places that Bo touched and she can feel the start of a bruise on her neck where Bo bit and sucked just a little too hard, and Tamsin hates herself because she likes it, she likes that Bo will linger on her days after she walks away from this moment that is starting to feel more and more like an ending. Panic suddenly begins to rise in Tamsin's chest because what if this is the end? There's still so much left to say, she thinks, and she tries to convince herself that Bo isn't worth another breath from her lungs but she speaks anyway, "How can you sit there and claim that you care about me? What were you going to do if you and Lauren got back together Bo? Pretend this never happened? Lie to yourself about how I really felt for the rest of your life? See me every day and knowing that you broke my heart? You don't care Bo, you never have."

Tamsin doesn't wait for a reply; she walks towards the door, never looking back. There's dried blood on the doorknob, no doubt from Bo walking in after her fight earlier, and Tamsin stares down at it, but not for long. All it does is remind her of all the times she's fixed Bo, only to walk away more broken inside.

One month later:

Kenzi and Tamsin trek up the narrow staircase carrying the last load of boxes from the back of Tamsin's truck.

Kenzi groans, "Tamsin you have only been alive for like six months now how the hell do you have this much stuff?"

Tamsin smiles, "Need I remind you Kenz that like half of this shit is stuff that you gave me and I've kind of had hundreds of lifetimes before this one to accumulate a lot of crap."

They reach the door to the new apartment and Kenzi clambers in, drops the boxes on the ground with a dramatic huff before collapsing onto the single sofa sitting awkwardly in the living room adjacent to the kitchen, "We needs to go furniture shopping stat Tam Tam because this thing is ugly as hell not to mention uncomfortable."

Tamsin sets her boxes down, walks over to the couch and lifts Kenzi's legs up so that she can sit on the couch too, "Whatever you say Kenz, I am just so glad I finally found a place."

Kenzi sits up, allowing Tamsin a little more room, "You could have just come back to the clubhouse Tamsin, you didn't have to keep sleeping on Trick's couch; it's your home too now."

Tamsin smiles over at Kenzi, "You know why I couldn't Kenz, I needed a new start. Besides, I got a two bedroom on purpose, you can come and stay whenever you want. I know it's still hard there what with Bo and…Hale."

Kenzi looks down at her hands, it's still hard to hear his name, and Tamsin is right, every time she walks into the kitchen the image of him laying there dead haunts her, and sometimes late at night she swears she can still smell his cologne on her pillowcase despite having washed it since he died, "You know I might have to take you up on that offer more than you think," Kenzi smiles, "but for now, Bo and I are still trying to repair things and we both know she can't take care of herself, she needs someone to look after her."

"What about me?" Tamsin feels like a child again and she thinks back to making cookies with Kenzi in the kitchen, and Kenzi reading her Dr. Seuss books every night to help her fall asleep.

Kenzi looks fondly at Tamsin, reaches out to her and places her hand on her cheek, "You are all grown up kiddo, you don't need me anymore."

Tamsin shakes her head, "I'll always need you Momz."

Kenzi removes her hand from the side of Tamsin's cheek and folds it with her other in her lap, she stares down at her fingers tangled together, "That's what I called my mom when I was a kid you know, Momz, in case you know, you ever wondered where it came from. She came to see me before…before Hale proposed he found my mom and called her and she came to see me. She told me she had left my stepdad, the reason I ran away when I was fifteen, but it wasn't the truth, she never left him. If she wouldn't leave him when he locked me in a closet why would she leave him just because she hadn't seen me in ten years?" Kenzi shakes her head to fight the oncoming tears, "It just sucks because I really could have used my mom through this you know?"

Tamsin reaches over and takes Kenzi's hand, "You're nothing like her Kenz. I should know seeing as you raised me.

It's a simple statement but it's one that Kenzi has always needed to believe in. She squeezes Tamsin's hand in silent thanks.

"Come on," Tamsin says, standing, "let's start unpacking all of this stuff."

Kenzi follows suit and opens up and box to reveal several stuffed animals that she had passed down to Tamsin, "Oh my, it seems like only a few months ago that I gave these to you," Kenzi says while holding up a teddy bear for Tamsin to see, "and now look, you're moving into your own place. They grow up so fast."

Tamsin rolls her eyes, reaches for the pillow on the couch and playfully chucks it at Kenzi's head, "Shut up you, it was only a few months ago genius."

Kenzi squeals and ducks out of the way, and the two of them laugh freely for a moment and it's the happiest either of them have felt in a long time.

A few moments pass and then Kenzi interrupts the happy silence, "I'm proud of you Tamsin"

Tamsin continues to sort the items from the box she is unpacking, "For what, getting an apartment? Thanks Kenz, but –"

Kenzi shakes her head, "No," she says, "for having the strength to move on."

Tamsin smiles at her but truthfully she doesn't feel very strong at all.

Kenzi gets back to the clubhouse late and walks in to find Bo sprawled out on the couch watching TV and drinking a bottle of wine, minus the glass. Kenzi walks over to her, picks the remote up off the coffee table and turns off the TV, then plucks the wine bottle from Bo's hand roughly.

"What the hell Kenz!" Bo yells, taken by surprise and more than obviously a little tipsy.

"What the hell is right Bo, what are you doing?" Kenzi moves her hands around in the air to indicate she is referring to Bo's life in general, not just the present moment.

"I'm figuring it out okay?" Bo replies, sounding peeved.

"No," Kenzi answers, "it's not okay."

"Look Kenzi I can't get Lauren back and I'm not in love with Dyson anymore, my best friend in the whole world is still pissed at me, and I'm not exactly ready to jump back into the dating game so I'm just going to sit here and wallow in my self-pity for a while longer until I figure out who the hell I am supposed to be with." Bo throws up her hands in defeat and reaches around Kenzi to grab the bottle of wine off the table where Kenzi placed it.

Kenzi growls in frustration, "God Bo you are so impossible sometimes! I love you to death Bo and I'm not mad at you anymore, I forgave you a long time ago. There is a bigger issue here and that's that there's a really important person that you left out just now, and that's my entire point Bo. You are so hung up on Lauren and Dyson and you think there is no other possibility besides them when it comes to love. You've shut yourself away from the world for so long that the right person for you has been in front of you this whole goddamn time and you've been too blind to open up your eyes and see her!"

Bo doesn't have to ask to figure out that the person Kenzi is talking about is Tamsin; she knows.