TTWH 34

The last chapter was really harrowing. What are the Dixons going to do? What's Rick going to do when – if – he finds out what Daddy Dixon did to his son? Or will Carl be too ashamed to let anyone know?

Reviews are welcome – they keep me writing. Thanks x

Carl

He had his arm around me and was pulling me in one direction but I didn't want to go there. I wanted to stay here and die. Couldn't face them or my father.

Especially him.

'No! NO!' I fought Daryl off and sank to the ground. Leaned my back against the tree-trunk.

'Go on without me.' I told them.'I'll be fine.'

Merle turned around from where he was leading his Dad by a rope with his hands tied behind him. He had him gagged but the old man barely looked conscious – just shuffling forward on his feet, seemed like just a harmless, sick old man who didn't know where he was. Probably he didn't.

Daryl let me go and sighed.

'We can't stop! We gotta take this piece of shit back to the camp!' The older Dixon protested but I barely heard him. It was like none of us were really here.

Daryl knelt down in front of me. 'I'm so sorry. We didn't know you were there...'

I shrugged. 'Whatever.' I mumbled. I didn't understand what he meant – not then.

I looked up at them. 'Did he do it to you too?' I just came out with it.

But Merle was the only one to answer and turn away. 'Yeah,...yeah, he did.'

'I'm sorry.' I said.

Daryl glanced at me sharply.

'No need to be. Don't need pity from the likes of you!' His brother snapped back harshly.

'Merle!' He exclaimed. But right then even this still felt like a dream – or more accurately, - a nightmare. I tried to comfort myself by telling myself that I would be waking up soon.

'Come on, son.' Daryl said to me, grabbing my arm. 'Up ya get.' He yanked me back up.

'You gonna tell Dad what he did to me?' I blurted out, stopping him with my hand on his arm.

He stroked my hair – I hadn't expected that. Not from him. 'No – not if ya don't want me to.'

'But what if he does?' I jerked my head towards the others.

'Merle won't if I tell him not to.'

I could see his brother bristle at that but he didn't say deny it.

'I ...I meant ya Dad, I whispered.

Daryl hugged me. 'No, he won't. He ain't gonna live long enough to tell, anyway.'

I stared at him. He seemed like a different person now. Cold and merciless, not like the gentle person we were all used to except when you messed with him. Then, he was scary. It was his father after all but he didn't seem to care what happened to him.

'He hurt you.' He explained. 'And the way he did, he don't deserve to live after that.' He gave him a scornful glance but Will didn't even seem to notice. Looked like a confused old man but I knew how devious he was – could have all been an act. He'd fooled Dad and me and the rest of the group even though we knew he put those scars on Daryl's back.

'Put him out.' Daryl ordered Merle who sneered right before he punched their father hard in the temple and he slumped to the ground.

I started to sob after that, unable to stop myself – remembering and reliving every disgusting moment. He rocked me while I could sense his brother looking on with a sneer on his face.

Daryl snarled at him and held me tighter. His arms felt comforting around me, they made me feel safe.

'Babyin' him ain't gonna do him no good in the long run. He needs a doctor.' Merle said and I turned away and buried my face in Daryl's chest.

I sensed Daryl was going to snap back at him but that got him thinking instead.

'No.' I sobbed. 'Don't tell anyone, not Dad...'

His hands were in my hair. 'We won't do nothin' ya don't want, will we bro?' He barked over at his big brother. Funny, most people thought it was Merle who called the shots between them but now I knew better.

'No.' Merle bowed his head almost demurely. Could I believe my eyes?

'It hurts...' I moaned when I hadn't meant to let them know. Did my best to act as tough as them.

'Sh.' He crooned to me. I didn't know he could be like that. Nobody did.

Merle left his unconscious father and came over. Stretched out his hand towards my face while his own expression grew soft - I don't know how else to describe it but I flinched.

'Don't ya touch him!' Dary l growled and yanked me away behind him.

'I only wanted to...'

'Yeah. I know what ya 'only wanted to do!'

I blinked. What did he mean by that? Was Merle as sick as their father? But I'd never sensed that from him, never. Then again, I didn't realise what Will Dixon was.

'Daryl..' I murmured and buried my face in his chest again to hide from him, suddenly afraid of Merle.

'Sh...' He soothed, stroking my arm. 'He's jus' a big softie.' I could sense him glaring at his brother and Merle grinning up at him teasingly.

'Merle ain't gonna hurt ya. I won't let him.'

I looked up at him and he was smirking.

'Fuck you.' I spat out and turned away again.

They both laughed.

…

Dad breathed a sigh of relief and hugged me tight to him when we got back. Then he kissed my hair.

'Is he OK?' He asked the Dixons over the top of my head. 'What happened?'

I knew they were shrugging. 'Let him tell ya. What ya gonna do with him?'

I turned around and cringed back despite myself when I saw Will Dixon. Still not reacting, still got his hands bound behind his back. His eyes were dead when I dared to look at him but at least he was awake – well, kind of. Merle had thrown water in his face to get him walking again.

'Well, he's your father...' My father began.

'No, no he ain't.' Daryl shook his head.

'Let me take care of him.' Merle winked at them.

'I'm not sure...' My Dad was reluctant.

Merle chucked him one of his most disarming smiles. 'Oh come on, he's my Dad. I'll make sure he can't get away. That's he's cared for.'

Dad nodded but then we didn't know how dumb we were for believing him.

Meanwhile, Will looked dazed and like he didn't know what was going on. Like maybe they were discussing his fate. Or probably, he was so far gone that he didn't care.

I cringed and buried my face in my father's chest, much like I'd done with Daryl. My

whole body was trembling when I looked at the perverted son-of-a-bitch and the pain would come back. Worse- I could feel a trickle running down my legs and I guessed what it was...I wasn't so young and innocent that I didn't know I was bleeding.

'Hey, hey...' My Dad was surprised at me acting that way with him as he ran his fingers through my hair.

'Ya sure nothin' didn't happen to him?' His voice was hard when he addressed Daryl and Merle.

'I said let him tell ya.' Daryl repeated what he said before. 'But our Dad had him when we found him, that's true.'

I shuddered.

'Come on, Carl.' My father pulled me away from him gently. 'Let's go and see Judith then you can tell me all about it.' With that, he entrusted Merle with the care of their father but if I was him, I wouldn't have. Not if I had seen that mean glint in his eye that I had – not that I cared.

Truth was, I had no intention of telling Dad. He didn't need that on his plate as well and I would just deal with it.

I actually thought I could deal with what happened to me alone. What a little idiot I was!

Thought I could brush it away like it never happened – I mean, even Daryl had got better after a few months. Then again, he had Merle who seemed to know what to do without being told.

But even so, I could never have predicted what we would see the day after and it would turn my stomach.

Because nobody deserved that - whatever they'd done.