Shayla invited Quala and I to dinner the night before I left. She had wanted to get a bon voyage poster, but the restaurant wouldn't allow her to hang one up so she had to make do by writing it on the elegant looking linen napkins with a purple Sharpie marker. Quala almost had a heart attack when she found out that it cost Shay 240 dollars, but that wasn't nearly as expensive as the food. I was use to Shay dressing me up in her kind-of-too-big designer clothes so she can parade me around as her plus one so I found it funny that my grandmother was so uncomfortable. She kept fidgeting in the black dress that Shay bought for her as she stared at the Italian menu.

"I can't read any of this."

"Don't worry Grandmamma, I'll order for all of us," Responded Shayla. She had taken to calling Quala all kinds of grandmotherly names like Nana, Grandmother, Grams, Abuela and things like that. I could tell Quala ate it up and it made Shay happy too because all of her grandparents had passed when she was really young. I didn't mind my best friend commandeering Quala with how I had neglected her. It was even ironic that Shayla looked more like Quala's granddaughter than I did. Quala had the rustic skin of the Quileute people and Shay was the caramel color of her Latin ancestors. I was as pale as my ginger father used to be. They both had deep brown eyes while mine were a vibrant and emerald green. Both of their hair was wavy and brown (though Quala's was much darker) and mine was a vivid red. The only thing Quala and I had in common was our height. We were both on the shorter side while Shay was tall.

"What are you thinking about Madame Melancholy?" Shayla asked me.

"About how you're trying to steal my grandmother away from me,"

"Well I can't help it!" She exclaimed while throwing an arm over Quala's shoulder. "Who wouldn't want to steal a treasure like this."

I swore Quala blushed as she patted Shay's cheek affectionately. For a small moment I was jealous that Shayla charmed her way into the hearts of everyone she met while I struggled to make and keep friends. The only two girls I had met on my own in La Push had fallen out of my life and it was no one's fault but my own. The other girls, the pack girls, were only friendly because I was an imprint and they were uncomfortable around me when Paul and I had fell out from me leaving him to go see Tyler all those weeks ago. My jealously faded as quickly as it had come. It was impossible to get upset with Shay.

We got through dinner and while we were waiting for our desserts Shayla talked about the rest of her plans for the summer.

"Well I'm staying at home alone because dad and his wife are in Cuba on business. I could've stayed at the boarding school, but that just seemed kind of sad and lonely. I figured that if I stayed in Chicago that I could hang out with our housekeeper Carol, but since the condo has been vacant she only comes for a couple of hours every other day. Dad put Meghan on leave so I've basically been spending all my time at restaurants. And shopping."

"That sounds awful, I think."

"Yes Gran, it's terrifyingly lonely." Shay responded dramatically.

"You know what? You should call up that father of yours and see if it would be all right for you to spend the rest of the summer in La Push with us. That is if its ok with you Madison?"

I nodded my head excitedly. Having Shay in Washington with me would be an excellent distraction from my imprinting-werewolfy-boy problems, but only if my hunch about Paul not being dead was right. Good God I hoped he was alive. Just like that my mood soured instantly. He better be alive so I could kill him for putting me through this hell. While my thoughts turned murderous my best friend agreed to try calling her father when she got home later. The rest of dinner was uneventful and I was a poor, sulking conversationalist.

I didn't say a single word through the entire flight. Quala and Shayla sat on either side of me, but I hardly took notice of them. My leg bounced uncontrollably and I had bit every last one of my fingernails down until they bled and the tips ached. After I ran out of nails I started worrying my bottom lip until it was swollen and raw from the abuse it took from my teeth. I started running out of things to put in my mouth after a while I settled for chewing on a thick strand of my hair. Quala looked a little grossed out by the action and Shayla actually threw an "ew" at me.

When the plane stopped I was off of it as fast as I could. Quala laughed behind me and muttered something to Shay about me being excited to see Tyler. I made a mental note to explain to Quala that I was no longer seeing Tyler and that I would be dying single and alone. We all gathered our bags from off the baggage claim and I rushed outside. On my way out I hit a wall, but luckily it caught me. Jacob laughed nervously as my bags dropped to the ground. I heard Shayla behind me asking if I was alright, but I ignored her question and stared at Jake.

"Is he ok?" I asked.

"He's not dying or anything," His eyes flashed to my grandmother and best friend. "I'll tell you about it later."

"No, you'll tell me about it now. Right fucking now Jacob Black."

"You know I can't say anything about it around them," He nodded to the approaching pair of humans. "I'll tell you later."

"What will he tell you later?" Shayla asked nosily.

"I was planning on telling her how hot her friend is later," Jacob said with a winning smile and flirty wink. "I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Well you've succeeded. Hi I'm Shayla Manuelita Arena Santos, but you can call me Miss Arena Santos if you want to be formal. Or Shayla or Mrs. Whatever your last name-"

"Shayla get in the damn car we don't have time for your flirting!" I yelled neurotically.

Shayla looked up and winked at Jacob. His face changed from a boyish smirk to a big, cheesy grin. It took me a few seconds to realize what had happened because my experience was so different from theirs. Jacob Black had imprinted of Shayla, the poor bastard. But that wasn't my concern at the moment.

"Let's get a mother fucking move on it!"

"Don't curse," Quala chastised before handing her bags to Jake. That was enough to shake him out of imprint induced haze and I sighed in relief when everyone finally started moving to the car. Jake flirted shamelessly with Shayla the entire ride to Quala's house and she ate that shit up. I bounced my leg until the car stopped and then I threw myself out of the vehicle. I ran through the forest so hard towards Paul's house that I could have been a wolf myself. When I got there I knocked on his window just like I did the last time. But unlike last time the window was opened by Jared. Regardless of the uneasy feelings he had for me I climbed into the room with his help. Lounging inside was Seth, Brady, and Embry.

"Hey Maddy Cakes, wasn't expecting you to be here at all." Brady said with an easy smile. Other than Jake and Leah I was sure that Brady was the only wolf who actually liked me.

"Hi, Brady. Hi guys," I directed to the others. They gave me indifferent nods and that was the last attention I paid any of them. I edged towards Paul's bed and discovered that he was asleep. I didn't have any second thoughts about sliding off my shoes and climbing into bed with him- cautious of his right side. "So what happened? Jacob was being an ass and didn't tell me."

"We were nearing the end of a little tiny war when-"

"Yeah Brady I know that part. Thanks for telling me that you and Wolf were going to risk your lives before I left. I appreciate the heads up," I sneered.

"Well maybe if you hadn't fucking left Paul in the first place-" Jared growled. I started to rise up out of the bed and give him a piece of my mind, but was suddenly trapped. Paul had woken up during our conversation and I hadn't even noticed. His left arm wrapped around my waist and held me in place while I glared daggers at Jared. I could see the red haze tinge the edges of my vision, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. I don't think my icy glare affected him as much as the feral snarl that ripped out of Paul's throat.

"If you ever growl at her again I'll fucking kill you Jared, I swear to God I'll do it." His voice was thick with sleep and scratchy from disuse, but it only added to the seriousness of his words. Though I refrained, I had half a mind to stick my tongue out at Jared to rub in my victory. Jared mumbled something that my human ears couldn't pick up before shuffling out of the bedroom door. Seth and Embry wisely followed, but Brady stayed.

"So what's up with him Brady?" I ask again. "Is he going to live? Shouldn't he be all healed up by now with your wolf powers?"

"Well it's complicated. Paul's wolf hasn't been… compliant." He trailed off.

I pulled hard at my hair and let out a desperate huff, "Stop speaking in riddles and fucking tell me!"

"His entire right side was crushed by a newborn vampire. Broken ribs… bones… fractured lung… the whole nine yards. In wolf form he started healing too fast and things weren't setting right so Doctor Vamp had to re-break every single one of his bones again after he shifted back to reset them. It wasn't pretty and it hurt him like hell, but it was necessary according to the leech. Paul should've been healed completely by now- I mean it's been a couple of days. His wolf isn't up to it though. He's all emo and shit right now. Basically saying, 'What's the point of getting better without her? I'd rather lie here like a pussy because-'"

"Alright I think that's enough talking from you. Get the fuck out." Paul grumbled, his cheeks a bit flush from embarrassment. Brady gave Paul and I a cheeky bow before taking his exit. I was too scared to look at my Wolf so I didn't. I just tucked myself back into his side and hoped that he was ok with me being there. To be honest I was surprised he hadn't kicked me out yet. I could understand why he didn't do it in front of his friends, he was just a nice guy like that, but there was nothing stopping him now. There was nothing preventing him from telling me that he didn't want me.

He exhaled a deep breath of air and asked, "What are you doing here?"

And just like that any hope I had of him being interested in me disappeared. I could literally feel the pain in my heart like a nail being hammered into a coffin. I didn't answer his question because my throat had closed up in an attempt to keep my tears at bay. I considered getting up from the room and dragging myself back home, but that seemed like it would put far too much strain on my poor, unwanted body.

"You… you went back to Chicago," His voice broke. "Why would you leave me to go back there? Was living with your mom really better than being with me?"

"No Paul I-"

"I mean fucking hell Madison, you didn't even say goodbye."

"What does it matter to you if I left?" I asked defensively. "You got what you wanted didn't you? A quick fuck to satisfy your wolf. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. And then I was gone so I couldn't force myself on you ever again!"

"That's not how it was!"

"Then how the hell was it Paul?! You said you didn't want me!" I yelled back.

"I love you of course I want you," He whispered. It wasn't at all what I was expecting and it kind of broke me a little that he would use that in an argument.

"Why the would you say that to me?" I cried. Wet, sloppy tears ran down my cheeks.

"Because I mean it. Damn it Maddy, I love you more than anything I've ever loved before and you fucking left me." He started shaking and I wrapped my arms around him to keep him from getting too upset.

"I didn't leave." I mumbled into his chest.

"Yea you did Madison. Jacob drove you all the way to the fucking airport. You just left!"

"I was at Lissa's trial." I deadpanned, he stilled almost instantly beneath me. "She got away with every single thing she ever did to me, but that doesn't matter. I'm here in La Push to stay. Forever."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea you were going through that."

I adjusted myself so that he was able to see the anger in my eyes, "And I had no clue that you were preparing to fight in a fucking newborn war. I ought to kill you right now."

He flashed me a sheepish smile and shrugged his good shoulder. "I didn't want you to worry. You do know that I want you Madison, don't you?"

Uncertainty welled up inside me. "You didn't call me at all."

"You told me you didn't need me. I begged you to stay and you just ran away from me. You didn't even look back, it was like it was nothing at all for you to leave. I couldn't call you, I was scared that if I'd call you wouldn't answer. That doesn't mean that I didn't think about you every second of every day. That doesn't mean that I ever stopped wanting you. You're all I want, you're all I'll ever want." The emotion in his voice was so real and raw that I had no choice but to believe him. I threw my arms around his neck and peppered his face in kisses.

"I love you too Paul, I'll never stop needing you."

Paul was all healed up in a couple of days and I didn't leave his bed for a week. We talked more about simpler issues in our relationship, but mostly we just fooled around. I learned that "someone" had called in an anonymous tip to the police department that Tyler might have been selling drugs out of his house. There was a small raid and Tyler was currently serving time for possession and intent to distribute. His brother was also locked up for a six months to a year for violating his parole and being around a bunch of illegal substances. I was a bit sad for Tyler, but not so much so that I voiced it.

I met Paul's parents and found out why he didn't ever talk about them. His mother was timid, but cordial. She was like a tiny little bird that left the nest a bit too early. Everything seemed to scare her and being around that jumpiness made me kind of nervous. His father was a brute. He threw his weight around, talked obnoxiously loud, drank all the time, and bullied his wife and son. It was fair to say that we spent a lot of our days at Quala or Sam's house.

Paul met Shayla. She slapped him (naturally) and threatened to fuck his shit up if he ever said another mean word to me. She was icing her hand for days. He absolutely loved her. Through Shay, I started hanging out more with the pack girls and found out that they didn't dislike me per say. They just didn't know me well enough. So we were all cordial now, I still preferred Shay to them though.

Paul and I were officially dating. Like we actually held hands and shit in public- it was so foreign, but it still felt natural to me. Everything I did with Paul felt right when I didn't spend my days fighting the pull. Everything wasn't rainbows and sunshine though. We still argued, I still cussed him out and hit him upside the head with brooms and baseball bats. He still gave as good as he got, only this time the arguments ended in searing kisses or make up sex.

I got to know Wolf a lot better. He was a playful kind of animal and put me in the mind of a big puppy. He nipped at my skin, batted at me with his tail, and knocked me down on the ground so he could lick my face without abandon. He loved when I scratched behind his ears so much that his long tongue lolled out of his mouth in pleasurable satisfaction. His favorite thing to do was run. I would hop up on his back like a horse and he would fly through the tick coverage of La Push's forests. He would weave through the trees and hop over fallen trunks like a prized pony at a fair.

I was legitimately happy in every aspect of my life for the first time in a long time. I had a grandmother who cared about me, my crazy best friend who always had my back, a wolf that would keep me safe, and a boyfriend who not only wanted, but loved me with everything that he had.

I could honestly say that life was good.

His hands shook in poorly veiled rage. I could feel his anger crawling over my skin and if I were to look in a mirror I was sure that the color black would be leaking into my eyes like spilled ink. I felt no anger of my own so it was easy to shake it off. I pulled the huge, leather bound journal out of his tight grasp before I climbed into his lap. I ran my pale little hands over his shortly cropped hair in an attempt to calm him.

"I told you that you wouldn't want to read it," I said. I made sure that my voice was smooth and void of any mocking- it would not do either one of us any favors if he were to lose his temper.

"I didn't know it'd be this bad. You've kept all these secrets." He shook his head in nonbelief.

"And now you know them all. You truly did get the fucked up imprint." I tried to hide the pain in my voice by laughing a bit at the end. Despite the fact that we had talked about how Paul hadn't meant it the way it sounded, I still felt pain when I thought of those words.

"No," He said as he buried his head in my hair. "I got the strong imprint. And I'll never stop trying to prove to you how much I want you."

I let out a little sigh of relief at his words. It was weak how often I needed reassurance of rather or not he wanted me, but I didn't care and neither did he. Besides, Paul needed to hear that I needed him as much as I needed to hear that he wanted me.

"So what do you want to do?" He asked quietly.

"I don't want it anymore. It's only a reminder of everything that's ever went wrong in my life. Let's burn it."

He hummed in approval. "Do you want to have our own special little bonfire tonight? You won't ever have to look at the journal again."

"That sounds perfect," I said. I felt a heavy burden lift off of my shoulders at the thought of eliminating the only piece of Lissa I had left. I adjusted myself so that I was facing my wolf and straddling his thighs. I gave him a quick peck on his lips.

His answering smile was brilliant as he said, "I love you, I want you."

I saw the reflection of my own bright smile through his dark brown eyes when I responded with, "I love you, I need you."

A/N: So there we have it, after a little over a year (I think) I've finally completed this story. I'm satisfied with the ending. I obviously wasn't going to jump in time and do the "They got married and had tons of happy kids ..." thing. I mean she just turned 15 after all. Which is horrifyingly young to know exactly who you'll be with for the rest of your life. I hope I was able to present Madison with the maturity of someone who's been through something as well as a girl who's got that recklessness of still being an angry youth. But who knows the impression that you have of her.

I always forget something in these and then remember what I forgot later on. It's frustrating really. Firstly a huge THANK YOU to anyone and everyone who's followed/favorited/read/alerted/and REVIEWED to this story. I appreciate you all emensly. And also for those who did those things for me as a writer. Again, Thank You. This was my first ever FF which means it's not very good. I've learned a lot about myself as a writer during this process and am thankful that you all decided to stick it out with me.

As you can see I've made Shayla and Jacob an imprinted pair. That's a setup for an unpromised sequel. I plan on pursuing their relationship, but I haven't the slightest clue when that'll be seeing as I've already started on another fic.

Now I'm rambling, but this will be the last time I get to talk to most of you through YCFM. Review or PM me if I've left any question of yours unanswered. I'll be happy to fill in any blanks.

-Bre

I KNOW WHAT I FORGOT! There's a pic up of who inspired Madison's looks on my profile. You guys should check it out, she's really pretty.