Chapter 9: And, Now, A Toast

A/N: Notes will be at the end of the chapter this time.

She had a choice. It was not something Rakel was used to being offered; the right to choose, regardless of the outcome. Everything was always "do this or else the world as we know it will crumble into dust". But, now...

"I can't decide," she blurted suddenly.

Sanguine tilted his head curiously. "That is...not what I thought you'd say. Are you sure? Do you need me to explain the situation again? Hircine's pissed that you're playing both sides. Says it's unsportsmanlike. I can draw you pictures in chalk if all these big words are confusing you."

"That's unnecessary." Rakel stood. "I think I need some time to mull it over. Can I have a day? Just a day to think over the situation."

"What's there to think about?" Sanguine's hand gestures were getting out of control now. "Honey, if Hircine comes barging in here with those dogs of his, it ain't gonna be pretty. I think you of all people know that I'm a lover, not a fighter. A really, really great lover. Just fantastic. Unbelievable, even."

"I feel like you're going to go on for a bit so can I go home?" Rakel brushed off her leggings. She was pretty sure she had sat in something wet. "I need to consider my options."

"What options?" Sanguine shouted, voice cracking on the last syllable.

The Rose Kynreeve grabbed Rakel by the elbow. "You can find your own way out, Dragonborn."

"No, I really can't," Rakel protested while the Kynreeve opened up another portal to Nirn behind her. He shoved her through it and Rakel tumbled backwards and back into Jorrvaskr. She landed, ass first, on top one of the dining tables much to the Companions' surprise.

There was stunned silence until Aela snapped, "Get out of the butter, arsehole."

Sheepishly, Rakel lowered herself off the table and with the small amount of pride she had left walked out of the hall to hole herself up in Breezehome.

Sanguine stared at the still full mug of alcoholic potion and wondered, she's just going to let that get warm? To the Kynreeve he snarked, "What was that all about? You kicked her out before I could tell her what a huge mistake she was making. I don't have the time nor the energy to fight her jealous ex."

"Are you accusing me of something, Lord-"

"You know exactly what I'm accusing you of. Linking you to the staff has made you increasingly bloodthirsty. Not to mention it hasn't exactly done wonders for your complexion. We've all noticed." Sanguine rubbed his face, irritated, which he hated. He was usually the one irritating others. "Are we sure the nerevarine is dead? Maybe we give 'em some drinks, get 'em on our side, and use 'em to scare the shit out of Lord Hircine and his pups."

"We can always ask Hermaeus Mora what it knows."

Great, now they had to talk to that know-it-all. "I'll leave that to you, General. I have a game of chandelier waiting for me."

The Kynreeve paused, unsure whether he should ask. "Do you think she's going to do something stupid?"

"Oh, absolutely."

Rakel had thought going home would help clear her head. Give her time to make a pros and cons list. But her mind kept wandering and every time it did she thought of her predecessor, the last Harbinger. Kodlak had made her promise that his soul would not go to Lord Hircine's hunting grounds. And she had kept that promise, though in her opinion hunting in the Afterlife with Lord Hircine didn't sound so bad. Now, though, Hircine thought she was trying to avoid his hunting grounds due to her commitment to Sanguine.

She knew why Lord Hircine was so displeased. To him it looked like she was still enjoying the benefits of his lycanthropy and trying to skip out on the cost. It wasn't fair.

Taking Sanguine's way out, dissolving her marriage to him and completely erasing all memories bound to that situation... It would certainly convince Hircine that Sanguine claimed no real hold on her. And a unnecessary war would be avoided. Her life would return to normal and she, and everyone she knew, would be none the wiser.

It would be better, if they all forgot about this. It would erase all that confusion and all that pain that came from it. No good could ever come from communing with daedra. Talos, if any of the Vigilants of Stendarr ever guessed her secret...

It wouldn't end well.

What she should do was clear. But she still wished Kodlak was around to ask his opinion.

Wait! What was she even considering here? Of course she needed to erase her marriage and completely burn that bridge. Not only to keep Lord Hircine from hunting her and everyone in Misty Grove to their very last breath, but also because it was the morally correct choice.

And she was clearly all about morals.

Why was she mulling over this at all? Sanguine had caused her nothing but trouble. Okay, the goat thing was actually pretty amusing. Not at the time, obviously, but in hindsight.

There's the girl I married! Always too clever by half!

She had always been so short and frustrated with him. So what was all this? The thought of forgetting everything...the good and even the bad...

The thought made her ill.

I'm here to nurse you back to health!

No, no, no. She had been delaying for hours now and she was still no closer to a decision.

I think you underestimate how many problems alcohol can solve.

Rakel walked upstairs to her bedroom and stuck her arm underneath her bed until she found the bottle of brandy she kept there. Strictly for when she couldn't sleep. Honest.

She poured out a glass and threw it back like a professional. "One shot for Hircine." Quickly pouring out another, Rakel took that shot as well and said, smiling wryly, "One for Sanguine."

And she continued on like that for a good while until there was only enough for one last glass. Half a glass, really. Huh. Rakel had thought she had more than that. Someone must have been helping themselves to her stash. Shrugging, Rakel downed that last drink quickly.

"Well, I guess that decides that."

"You've been acting odd," Aela commented when Rakel returned late that evening. "Even for the Dragonborn."

"I'm about to act odder," Rakel admitted, sitting down heavily. Her head was throbbing and it hurt to open her eyes. "Fetch Vilkas for me. I need to speak with him. With both of you."

"Vilkas is sleeping." Aela's eyes narrowed, her usually paint smeared face clear. "You smell wrong. Where-"

Her teeth were grinding together. Rakel's patience thinned and she snapped, "That was an order, Aela."

The silence between them is suffocating. Rakel winced, both of them knowing her position as Harbinger is more a counselor's job than anything. She shouldn't be issuing any orders.

Her apology is quiet and somewhat rushed. "Aela, that was unworthy of me. I shouldn't have snapped. I'm grumpy and in pain. I ran into a bear on my way back here and it's difficult without-"

"Without what?" Aela asked and Rakel could sense she was still bristling.

"Please wake Vilkas. I need to speak quickly. I have somewhere I need to be soon."

Shockingly, Aela left to get Vilkas without further argument.

"How was I supposed to know Hermaeus Mora knew I thought it was a know-it-all?" Sanguine sank heavily into the chair that normally served as his throne. It was rustic, extremely comfortable, and well suited for a large number of positions.

The Kynreeve seemed amused. "Because you called it that to it's face."

"That was out loud? What else did I say?"

"It got worse from there. And then a little bit better. And then bad again."

"Ugh. All that work and we still don't know where the nerevarine is."

The Kynreeve decided to avoid mentioning that all their "work" had mostly entailed insulting Hermaeus Mora and binge drinking. "At any rate, the Dragonborn should have her decision."

"Bring her here. Then we can figure out what kind of screwed we are."

The Dragonborn looked smaller somehow when the Kynreeve appeared to take her one last time to Misty Grove. She was sitting in what appeared to be her home, warming her feet by the fire and staring at the doorway. "I've been waiting for you. Almost thought you'd forgot about me."

"That's harder to do than you think. You're awfully loud."

Rakel stood and stretched. "Are you saying I shout a lot? Huh? Does my shouting intimidate you? Does-"

The Kynreeve considered slaughtering her for a moment. Rakel couldn't help but notice that the Kynreeve did that often. "I see now why Sanguine continues to bother with you."

"I know you don't mean that as a compliment but I'm going to take it that way regardless."

"Did you just party foul in my presence?!"

Sanguine stared at the mug of potion that Rakel had just overturned, spilling all its contents onto the table. There was no greeting, no warning... Rakel had just waltzed in, sauntered over to him, and dumped out her only way out of their shitty situation.

Rakel sat across from him. "I did something bad," she sang off key.

"Oh, I daresay you did. But specifics, honey. I need specifics. Are you about to make the Kynreeve's day? He's been sharpening his sword meticulously. It's...disturbing."

"It was stupid, too."

Her words were considered. Sanguine sucked his teeth and repeated, "Something bad and stupid? Why did you do this?"

"I was drunk."

"Naturally." He suddenly leaned forward. "Now spill. About what happened, I mean. Not more alcohol."

"You're lying!" Aela slammed a fist down on the dining table, her eyes swimming with a hint of tears. "You did not! You would not!"

Vilkas hushed her, watching Rakel curiously. "Aela, she did. Can't you tell? She smells...human. Just human."

This was going much better than she had anticipated. Rakel stood, knowing she'd have to make her leave sooner rather than later. "I went back to Ysgramor's Tomb. I brought one of those witches heads with me-"

"You still had one of their heads? After all this time?" Vilkas sputtered, clearly and thoroughly disgusted.

"So I'm a hoarder. Judge me if you like." There was no sense in stalling now. "I'm cured of my lycanthropy. And I'm naming both of you to replace me as Harbinger. I think the two of you can handle the physical demands and the paperwork that I never did anyway."

Aela is easily the most upset by all this. Vilkas had probably sensed it coming a long time ago. Her duties as Dragonborn had begun to distract her from Companion business.

"Just because you're not a wolf anymore doesn't mean..." Aela began, searching for a way out of this. A way to convince her, but Rakel just shook her head sadly.

"You will always be my sister, Aela." It was harder to say this that Rakel had thought. "But I've poisoned the pack. Even you can see that. And we need a Harbinger that can be more attentive."

"How did you come to this decision?" Vilkas asked most likely because he felt he must.

"Well, I got really, really drunk..."

"So, yeah," Rakel finished retelling her story. "That's pretty much how that went down. Good thing I kept that witch head all this time. Really came in handy though I'm starting to think I should clear out my inventory more often."

"You cured yourself of your wolfiness?" Sanguine's expression was blank and starting to scare her. "You love being a wolf."

"What can I say? It was the only way to get Hircine to fork over his claim over my mortal soul." Rakel drummed her fingers on the table absently. "Misty Grove doesn't seem like such a bad place to spend eternity. Plenty of booze and I don't have to remain a wolf forever. I mean, I like being a wolf, sometimes, but for forever? Seems excessive."

Sanguine's expression turned sly. "And, again, how did you decide this? You seemed pretty, ah, split last time we spoke."

"I..." Rakel stopped herself, a few things clicking together. "I used a bottle of brandy to choose."

"Interesting choice. Couldn't have just flipped a coin?"

That would have been much quicker, much more decisive. "Didn't occur to me at the time but now that you've said that..." Rakel turned still. "You didn't...influence that, did you?"

He was playing with her now. "Me? Cheat poor, old Hircine out of the Dragonborn's soul? Why I'd never!" His laughter turned to cackling. "I'm, ha, insulted that you'd even ask that! But as I am a forgiving Prince, I'll let that one go. Just this once."

"You sneaky sonofabitch!" She suddenly felt much less independent. And a little afraid. "Tell me you didn't!"

"I didn't."

"Sweet Talos, you did! If Hircine ever finds out about this we're dead. Well, I'm dead."

"He's not that clever. And I tried to do somewhat right by you, as much as it pained me to even consider it. Luckily you stalled and I came back to my senses." While Rakel grinned stupidly Sanguine clapped his hands together and motioned for his servants to gather closer. "Ladies and gentlemen, I think a celebration is in order. Bring out the kegs, quickly now! I've been sober all damn day and I've already ordered three executions so chop, chop! And by that I mean move faster, not send more heads rolling off the block."

"Hey!" Rakel snapped. "I was almost decapitated once and I find that very offensive."

The rest of Rakel's sentences were much less coherent. Sanguine's minions returned with way too many kegs and the party went downhill from there. After arm wrestling every single daedra that showed, and Sheogorath when he randomly appeared, Rakel found herself sitting pretty in a creek. The water was cool and refreshing and most importantly kept her from nodding off. So far she had outlasted most of the others, but a few were still going strong. Even with all the kegs empty.

Oddly enough, Rakel was feeling fairly good about herself. Never mind she had broke Aela's heart, left the Companions, didn't offer Farkus so much as a goodbye... Oh. She was a terrible person. Huh. That certainly explained a few things.

Forgetting all that, though, this whole thing could have turned out worse. Yes, she was still married to the Prince of Debauchery, Talos, she was glad her parents weren't in the country, but she wasn't currently hanging on a wall as Hircine's newest trophy. There were some positives.

"The after party's going to be at Sheogorath's place." Sanguine cocked a brow when he saw her strange state. "How'd you get in there?"

That had an easy enough answer. "Don't recall. Help me up." She was yanked to her feet quicker than she anticipated and found herself braced against Sanguine's chest. "Don't know if I'm going to make it to the after party."

"What about the party after the after party?"

They did go to the after party. And the after after party. And the party after that where things had started to get weird.

But that weeks ago. And a lot had changed. Currently Rakel was just waking up, tangled in a mess of sheets in her new home in Riften. Sanguine snored alongside her, a bottle of wine cradled in his arms like a babe.

Honeyside was a long way away from Breezehome, but the pair of them felt right at home among thieves and drunkards. The fact that there was a brewery in very close proximity certainly helped in the decision making.

Aela visited often and Rakel did a few odd jobs for the Companions if they really needed the extra sword, but other than that Rakel avoided Whiterun for the most part. She had no desire to catch Hircine's attention. Thus far she'd been left alone after curing herself of her lycanthropy. It was an adjustment to be sure and she had to do a lot more cooking than before. Raw meat just didn't taste like it used to. She kept reminding herself that this was what Kodlak had wanted and he was a very wise man. Of course, he wasn't betrothed to a deadra. Who knew how that would have affected his decision?

Had she just made the worst choice of her most likely short life? Historians would probably say, yes, yes, she had. But Rakel wasn't going to dwell on that. She had world ending dragons to fight. Unburdening herself of all other responsibilities had felt good. Her eyes flickered over to Sanguine who still was out cold. Well, she had a few other things that felt good.

Once she had stopped fighting their relationship Rakel had had a lot more fun. So much fun that it was probably illegal. Most of it was actually illegal.

"Wake up, arsehole."

One dark eye cracked open enough to peer at her. "Good morning, honeydew. Wow, you are lovely in the morning."

Sanguine knew flattery got him absolutely nowhere, but Talos, did he try. Her response was not quite as flowery. "I haven't bathed in days."

"Ah, that must be it."

Moving carefully around the bed, making sure not to step on any discarded bottles, Rakel began gathering her regular traveling equipment. "I'm heading out for a few days. I'm thinking about breaking into the Blue Palace. Just for funsies."

"We should definitely do that and then once we're inside move all the furniture an inch to the left. It'll be madness." Sanguine was fully awake now and scheming.

Her grin is hard to hide. It was an odd feeling. She was starting to like it when he said "we". Hmm. Tolerate it was a better description. "We should."

Sanguine changed back into his Breton disguise and he was nearly out the door before she could even tug her boots on. He shouted behind him, waving at her to move faster, "And we steal the throne."

Talos, help her. All she wanted to do was commit a felony, not high treason. "No."

"No?"

Well, at least he had asked first. Rakel rethought her answer and, catching up to Sanguine's rather energetic stride, looped an arm through his. "...Maybe."

A/N: Uh, I have some news. This is it. It's done. To be quite honest this was only supposed to be three chapters long and it got away from me. I know this is a fun, weird little thing and I love hearing your feedback when I actually get around to updating, but I'm starting my sea tour and I'm not sure how much attention I'll be able to give this. So I've worked late trying to tie up most of the loose ends. I wanted to give this an ending instead of leaving it on a cliffhanger and then not update for months on end. Because I've never done that before. In conclusion, I am really glad this made some of you laugh. But this is the end. It's 2 am so I'm just going to post this and go to sleep. Thanks for everyone's responses to this! I would not have finished this without those. I am easily motivated.

I am going to sleep. I had a martini and despite what you all may assume I am the lightest of lightweights. Goodnight.

P.S. Also I almost deleted all of this. On accident. I screamed.