Mikau: Hey everybody! If you're new, welcome! If you're not, hello again! It's so good to see you! Thanks for checking out my new fic. I had a bad case of writer's block over the weekend when I was trying to work on CTM, Over the Edge, and Roses, so I did some writing exercises. And then I got inspired to write this. So here it is. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, I'd be vacationing on some tropical island with the proceeds right about now. This winter has been a little ridiculous, and I'd really like some warmth right about now.

…

The Healing Process

"How long have you been standing there?" Shinichi sighed, realizing that Kaito was tentatively poking his head around the corner, out of the study.

"A few seconds." The magician shrugged, hesitantly coming out into the entry hall. "I was…I was just…I wasn't eavesdropping or anything…not on purpose, anyway. Mouri-chan was a little loud, so I couldn't help hearing, but…you said I was welcome here…that I could use the study whenever I needed to, and…and I needed the study, so…sorry." Kaito bit his lip, fidgeting like an antsy grade schooler.

"Oh." Shinichi sighed again, not really paying Kaito much mind as he stared sorrowfully after his ex-girlfriend.

Awkward silence reigned, and Kaito squirmed anxiously.

"Does your face hurt? You've got a handprint on your cheek." It only occurred to him after the words had left his mouth that that was not a very tactful or appropriate thing to say at the moment. "I mean…are you okay, Shin-chan?" Kaito gulped.

The detective turned to face his friend and put on a brave face, forcing a very weak, sad smile that didn't reach all the way to the eyes. He shook his head.

Kaito chewed on his lip, trying to keep from saying anything stupid. The right words just weren't coming. "I…I don't have a Valentine either, so…I mean, only if you wanted to; I can go if you want, if you want to be alone, but…I'm free, if you wanted to just…you know…hang out maybe?"

Shinichi forced another warmed-over smile and nodded. "Yeah. It'd be a shame to let everything go to waste. Care for a romantic, candle-lit dinner? I hope you like expensive French food."

"Ha-Hakuba took me to a French restaurant once, and it was really good." Kaito shrugged, making chitchat as he followed Shinichi into the dining-room. "You know I don't really have very refined tastes. I'm an udon and onigiri type of guy, but expensive stuff is good every once in a while."

"Honestly, I'd rather have beef stew or curry or something myself, but Ran…I just wanted things to be perfect, you know?" The detective ran a hand through his hair as he motioned for Kaito to take Ran's place at the table.

"You weren't…weren't gonna propose or anything, were you?" Kaito let out a horrified squeak.

Shinichi shook his head, scooping some salad onto his plate. "I just thought Valentine's Day would be an appropriate occasion for our first time, but it didn't pan out."

"Oh," Kaito replied quietly, eyes wide. "Sorry."

The older brunette shrugged, pouring himself a glass of some very expensive wine. He downed it in one go before pouring a second glass for himself plus one for Kaito.

"Is there anything I can do, Shin-chan?" Kaito softly inquired, unsure of what he should say or do.

Shinichi snorted. "No…. Thanks. Well, maybe you can tell me, what do you do in this kind of situation? All my life I've just kind of figured that Ran was the one and that was it. How do you just pick up and move on after you've invested twenty years in a relationship?" Shinichi threw down his second glass of wine. "I mean…how did you get over it…when Hakuba and Aoko-san started dating? Didn't it just kill you?"

Kaito looked down at his empty plate and made some pretense of filling it. He was seriously hoping his cheeks weren't betraying his embarrassment. "Yeah, but you were there for me. When Aoko broke up with me and then when things didn't work out with Sa—Hakuba either. You were the one that got me through it. Though…I'm still a little messed up over it, but your study comes in handy for that, but…. Shinichi…I wouldn't mind, you know, if you needed to lean on me for support through this. I…I'm here for you, Shinichi."

Shinichi stared in surprised silence for a good minute before a soft, grateful smile broke on his face. "Thanks, Kaito. You're wonderful, you know that?"

Kaito's heart skipped a beat. "I…I'm not that great," he laughed it off, turning his head in a vain attempt to hide his blush. He quickly tried to change the subject. "Say, you're a great cook. This stuff is amazing. Do you think you could give me the recipe?"

"Why? You don't cook," Shinichi snickered, reaching for the wine bottle once more. "You really are awesome, Kaito. Honestly. Thank you."

Kaito bit his lip, reaching out to put his hand on Shinichi's forearm. "Shin-chan, you really shouldn't drink so much."

"Just this once," Shinichi promised. "I swear I won't make a habit of it, but…it's Valentine's Day, and I kind of just lost the love of my life, you know?"

"You didn't let me get drunk," Kaito muttered, retracting his hand.

"You have an addictive personality and a propensity to engage in self-destructive behavior," Shinichi reminded, sticking out his tongue.

"Well neh," Kaito huffed in return. "I'm not the only one who 'engages in self-destructive behavior', crazy detective."

Shinichi raised and dropped his shoulder in indifference. "You'll just have to look after me then, if you care so much. 'Cause I plan on getting blind drunk tonight. Feel free to stick around and watch the train wreck."

"I do care about you, you idiot," Kaito muttered, helping himself to the ample spread of dishes set before him.

"Thanks." Shinichi sent his companion a faint smile. "You're the best."

"Yeah, yeah," Kaito grumbled, mouth full.

Shinichi took a long, slow drink of the wine. "Wanna have a sleepover?"

"Adults don't have sleepovers." Kaito rolled his eyes.

"Sure they do," Shinichi chuckled, a suggestive lilt to his words.

Kaito blushed. "I'm not sleeping with you out of pity."

"I meant like usual," Shinichi laughed, genuine mirth present in his voice. "Like we always do…. Would you be able to spend the night, or do you have work early tomorrow or something?"

Kaito knew he should say no. Sleepless nights spent listening to the sounds of his crush breathing and watching the rise and fall of Shinichi's chest were not healthy for him.

"Sure," Kaito easily agreed against his better judgment. He liked pretending that he belonged in Shinichi's bedroom…that he had a place in Shinichi's heart. "I'll stay with you. What are friends for?"

"Thank you. I don't really want to be alone." Shinichi smiled sadly down into his wine glass.

"Give me that," Kaito sighed, swiping the glass and draining it himself.

"You don't drink," Shinichi noted with surprise.

"Yeah, but it's not like I can let you empty that whole bottle by yourself." Kaito shrugged, a light blush rising in his cheeks.

Shinichi took his glass back and refilled it. "But you're such a lightweight. You'll be on the floor in no time."

"I could drink you under the table," Kaito snorted, all talk.

Shinichi rolled his eyes. "Save it for someone who doesn't know any better and eat your dinner, Kaito. How are you supposed to take care of me, if you're drunk too?"

Kaito picked up his fork, grumbling under his breath.

Half an hour and two bottles of wine later, Kaito had had two and a half glasses to Shinichi's seven and was feeling slightly off-balance. Shinichi, on the other hand, was still going strong, now working on a twelve-pack of Kirin.

They were on the couch watching…Kaito really couldn't remember. It was some Valentine's special or another that NHK was airing—a movie or some kind of TV drama. Kaito really was a lightweight, but he'd be damned before he was going to admit that to Shinichi.

"Gimme one," he ordered, reaching for the beer and only ending up leaning against Shinichi for support, his head tipping to rest on Shinichi's shoulder.

"You sure?" the detective chuckled, holding out the can and dangling it teasingly over Kaito's head. "You're looking pretty tipsy, Mr. 'I could drink you under the table'."

With a snort, Kaito grabbed the can and guzzled it down so that he wouldn't have to taste it. "That stuff's nasty," he hissed, climbing clumsily over Shinichi to grab another can.

"Then don't drink it," Shinichi sniggered, helping himself to another can of his own.

"You're gonna get alcohol poisonin' if you drink all this yourself," Kaito protested, having a little trouble sitting up on his own.

Shinichi just chortled as the alcohol finally began to take effect. He pulled Kaito over to lean against him once again. "I'll be fine. It's you I'm worried about. Sober up a bit, Kuroba." Shinichi took Kaito's can and set it aside, wrapping an arm around the smaller brunette to steady him.

Kaito's head was swimming. He felt foggy and warm. It was nice just resting his head against Shinichi, his ear above his crush's heart listening to the detective's breaths and heartbeats. It was comfy being surrounded by Shinichi's warmth, the smell of cinnamon from Shinichi's body wash and shampoo, and, of course, the haze caused by the alcohol.

At some point he must have dozed off because the next thing he knew, he was quite a bit more sober, and Shinichi was a great deal more drunk.

The great detective was aimlessly tracing the curves of Kaito's lips, his fingers ghosting across Kaito's face. "You're pretty," Shinichi muttered, voice slurred. "Not like Ran, but…still pretty. For a guy," he clarified. "Skin's nice 'n' soft." Shinichi took Kaito's face by the cheeks with both hands.

"S-S-Shin-chan?" Kaito stuttered, heart beating like a frightened rabbit's. He knew he should pull away. Tell the detective he was drunk and be done with it. Kill the delusions before they ever had a chance to plant their torturous, masochistic seeds in Kaito's mind, but…Shinichi was touching him, eye's half-lidded, pupils dilated, and lips so painfully close to Kaito's.

His touch was so soft and gentle. He touched him like Kaito was fragile and delicate…precious. It had been a while since someone had last treated Kaito like he was valuable, desirable.

Pushing thoughts of his blonde paramour of the past down, Kaito gave into temptation and leaned into Shinichi's touch. "Shinichi," he sighed, justifying his behavior with an inner mantra of "I'm drunk. I'm drunk. I'm so incredibly drunk. It's okay. I can blame it on the alcohol in the morning."

"I like your eyes," Shinichi mumbled, cupping Kaito's cheek, drawing a blissful sigh from the younger man's lips. "Like jewels. So purple."

Kaito was starting to feel intoxicated again as his hormones went haywire.

"I should put you in handcuffs, jewel thief," Shinichi chuckled, cloudy mind jumping from one line of thought to the next in a bit of a free association.

Kaito's body temperature soared through the roof, his skin tingling. "Yes, please," he begged, voice cracking.

Shinichi frowned. "Hakuba put you in handcuffs, didn't he?" the detective accused. "You let him, didn't you? When you two were together."

Kaito nodded, a sharp, stabbing pain in his gut coming at the mention of Saguru. Memories of cold metal juxtaposed with hot kisses bubbled to the surface, and Kaito struggled to stuff them down again. Of course there had been handcuffs; Kaito had been the one to suggest them. He secretly wanted someone to dominate him…for someone else to be in control for a while…to feel safe and protected.

"I thought so," Shinichi growled softly. "I always wondered about what he did to you…how far you let him go."

Kaito really wasn't liking that accusatory tone to Shinichi's voice…like he thought what Kaito had done was dirty. "Is that really any of your business?" Kaito challenged.

With an indignant snort and a glare of vexation, Shinichi pushed Kaito down on the couch, pinning him by the shoulders. "Yes," he insisted as if it were obvious. "You're my thief. Of course I'm gonna get jealous if you let other people catch you."

Kaito felt dizzy. His mouth had gone dry. He arched his back, lifting his hips and whimpering in desperation. "Then catch me yourself. Make me yours," he panted, body burning for Shinichi's touch.

The detective blinked in confusion, Kaito's pleas apparently not making any sense to his alcohol-addled brain.

Kaito whined in frustration. "How can you say crap like that and only think of me as a friend, Shinichi?" He reached up and pulled the detective into a sloppy, awkward kiss.

Shinichi responded mechanically, moaning as Kaito's lips sucked at his frantically.

Tears began to build up in the corners of Kaito's eyes. It was nothing like he had imagined.

Shinichi tasted like fine wine and cheap beer. He smelled like alcohol. The stench permeated everything—his clothes, his hair, his skin, his breath. It only drove home the fact that this wasn't real. This was an alcohol-induced lapse of judgment on Shinichi's part.

This wasn't love. It was shameful and wrong.

Kaito fell still as Shinichi's lips moved down his neck, leaving a string of red marks in their wake. Kaito closed his eyes and pretended that this was something beautiful as Shinichi unbuttoned Kaito's shirt, his hands and teeth exploring Kaito's chest and abdomen.

"Ran," Shinichi moaned into Kaito's stomach.

Kaito choked down a sob.

"Ran," Shinichi purred, trailing kisses down past Kaito's belly button.

"Stop," Kaito whispered, putting a hand over Shinichi's when the detective tried to undo Kaito's belt.

Shinichi blinked, sitting up and looking down in confusion at the other male. "Kaito?" He frowned, cocking his head to the side like he was surprised and baffled to find the other boy there.

"You're drunk," Kaito explained, emotions sealed behind a careful poker face. "It's time to go to bed."

"Oh." Shinichi looked around, trying to get a handle on the situation. "Ran is…?"

"She went home," Kaito whispered bitterly, shakily getting to his feet and helping his crush up.

With much stumbling and staggering and bumping into walls, the two made their way up to Shinichi's bedroom. The floor and bed were covered in rose petals.

Kaito gave an offended snort as he threw back the covers. He helped Shinichi out of his carefully selected outfit, and then, shedding his outer layer of clothing, he crawled into bed as well.

Shinichi was out like a light, but it took Kaito a long time to fall asleep. First, there was the masochistic ritual of listening to Shinichi's peaceful in- and ex-halations. Then, he gingerly petted Shinichi's usually pristine hair, running his fingers through it and lovingly stroking Shinichi's face in the process. Finally, Kaito gave up, curling into a ball next to the detective and letting himself pretend that he was welcome there.

…

The next morning came as a bit of a shock for Kudo Shinichi. His head was killing him, but that wasn't really all that surprising considering he had made it his goal to get so drunk that he couldn't remember anything the night before. And now that was a problem because he couldn't remember a damn thing after dinner, and Kuroba Kaito—a virtually naked Kuroba Kaito—was currently lying in his arms, their limbs intertwined, with a line of angry red hickeys from the base of his jaw to the band of his boxers.

Shinichi could briefly recall snippets of some kind of NHK special, Kaito writhing in anticipation beneath him on the couch, and tears slowly spilling down Kaito's cheeks. And now they were both in boxers in Shinichi's bed. The detective had a bad feeling about this.

He wouldn't seriously sleep with Kaito, would he? Kaito was his friend. Brilliant, witty, and devilishly handsome, but…his friend nonetheless. Then again, Shinichi had been absolutely thrashed in terms of intoxication level and emotionally over Ran. It didn't take much stretching of the imagination to believe that he had taken his pain out sexually on Kaito.

With a resigned sigh and a soft smile, Shinichi gently began tracing the lines and curves of Kaito's features.

Kaito was pretty. Not gorgeous and elegant like Ran, but…cute. Handsome. Endearingly charming.

It tugged at Shinichi's heartstrings the way that even in sleep Kaito looked tired and sad. There were bags under his eyes, and they were left red from tears.

Shinichi knew that Kaito had been through a lot, first with his breakup with Nakamori Aoko right during finals of senior year of high school and then with the end of his relationship with Hakuba Saguru coinciding with their graduation from college. It had been the icing on the cake when Hakuba and Aoko-san had announced their engagement a little more than a year after that.

Through the whole thing Kaito had tried to remain strong. He'd fought like hell to keep it together. He'd spent hours holed up in the Kudo study with thousands of books to keep his mind suitably occupied and a comfortable wingback chair to curl up in like a stray cat trying to pretend that he belonged there.

Come to think of it, Kaito wasn't really dealing with things well at all. He was running away, hiding in that study where no one could hurt him. Kaito was broken. He'd patched himself together with duct tape and rubber bands and pretended he was fine when, in reality, he was ready to fall apart at the smallest shove. One little push and he'd fall to pieces.

Shinichi frowned, tucking an unruly strand of hair behind Kaito's ear.

Kaito put on a brave face, but the truth was that he needed help…support, protection. Kaito was curled up in his shell, hiding away from the world. He hadn't even tried to date these past three years since Hakuba; however, Kaito had opened up to one person. Kaito had let Shinichi in.

With a sigh, Shinichi wrapped his arms protectively around the smaller male, lovingly nuzzling Kaito's messy locks.

"I won't hurt you," Shinichi whispered. "I swear. I swear I won't hurt you. It won't be like before. I won't be like them. You're safe with me, and I'm gonna fight like hell to protect you."

It was another thirty minutes or so before Kaito woke up, and Shinichi used the time well, getting to know Kaito's body, studying the smaller brunette. All in all, he didn't like what he saw: old wounds, scars, signs of neglect and wear. Kaito was run down. He needed more sleep, a proper diet, and some major rest and relaxation.

Shinichi had some serious plans for the magician's care and upkeep once Kaito woke up. Kaito was moving out of his dinky apartment and into the guestroom at the Kudo Manor. He was cashing in all of his unused vacation time at work, and Shinichi was going to pamper the hell out of him with massages and onsens and proper meals. No more of this instant ramen and convenience store bentos crap that Kaito was accustomed to.

Shinichi would be sure to make time for Kaito too. He knew he could get wrapped up in his work. Ran had often complained that…

Shinichi's heart constricted at the thought of his life-long love.

He sighed, burying his face in Kaito's hair.

It was going to be okay. This was good. He was moving on. He didn't have time to fall to pieces over Ran. Let Ran worry about Ran. Shinichi had to take care of Kaito.

Somewhere in the back of his mind a little voice worried that this was all happening too fast. It warned him that it would be better not to rush things, to take time to grieve properly.

Another voice pointed out that he should have thought things through before jumping into bed with an emotional ten-car-pile-up like Kaito. It informed him that he now had no choice. He was stuck with the magician. He had to take responsibility for what he had done to Kaito. After all, what was the alternative? Tell Kaito that their night together had meant nothing and turn the guy out on the street? Sure, sleeping with Kaito had been a mistake, but if Kaito had feelings for Shinichi, Shinichi couldn't just push him away. A third round of heartbreak was sure to break Kaito for good.

A third voice of reason claimed that this was all for the best, that in taking care of Kaito, Shinichi would be forced to care for himself. They'd heal together, heal each other. And really, Kaito wasn't all that bad. Other than being decidedly more male than Shinichi was accustomed to in a mate, Kaito was extremely intelligent, absolutely hilarious, and honestly fun to be around. This would be good for him. Good for the both of them.

…

Kaito was acutely aware of someone holding him, stroking his hair and face lovingly. He opened his eyes to find himself still dreaming. Shinichi was smiling down at him in adoration.

"Hey," Shinichi chuckled, sweeping away one of Kaito's rogue bangs. "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

Kaito was suddenly questioning whether this was really a dream after all. He kind of felt like crap. He made a sleepy little noise of discontent.

"How's your body?" Shinichi gulped, guilt tinting his features.

Kaito blinked, slowly coming into awareness of where he was and how he had gotten there.

The detective continued on awkwardly. "I know it's been a while since you last…you know. Did anything like that with anyone. It didn't hurt too bad, did it? I'm sorry. I don't remember…well, anything from last night, but…you were crying, weren't you? I kind of remember you crying. Did I hurt you, Kaito?"

Kaito knew he should fess up and tell his crush that nothing really had happened. He knew he should explain that it was all just a big misunderstanding, but…he really kind of liked the guilt and the pity and the…was that fondness in Shinichi's eyes?

Kaito swallowed hard. "N-No. I'm…I'm fine. Thank you."

"Look," Shinichi sighed, stroking Kaito's cheek. "I'm sorry about what I did last night. I never should have taken my feelings for Ran out on you like that, especially when you've been going through such a rough time yourself. It was selfish and wrong and just bad of me, Kaito, but…look, I want to make this right. Kaito…just how drunk were you last night?"

Kaito opened his mouth to swear that he'd been completely sloshed, but the truth came out instead. "I wasn't. When I kissed you and all that, I wasn't drunk," he confessed, looking anywhere but at Shinichi. "I'm sorry. I took advantage of you and the situation, Shinichi. I'm really sorry, and I'd understand if you didn't…I mean…I—"

"—Don't…don't worry about it," Shinichi assured, taking Kaito by the jaw and forcing the younger of the pair to look at him. "Look, Kaito, what happened…I'm sorry it happened that way, and next time I swear to you that I'll do things properly, but I think it all happened for the best."

Kaito blinked. "Huh?"

"What happened between us is a good thing. It allowed me to see what a mess you've been and how I've failed you. Kaito, I'm going to take care of you from now on. I'm going to do better. I swear this won't be like with Aoko-san or Hakuba, so…if you could…entrust your heart to me. I'm going to try to be worthy of it. I'm going to make everything up to you. I'm going to be the kind of man you deserve."

Kaito was tempted to pinch himself. "What?"

Shinichi frowned, embarrassment highlighting his cheeks. "G-Go out with me. I swear I'll never make you cry again."

Kaito stared up in disbelief at the man that had stolen his heart long ago. He couldn't believe it.

But Shinichi was staring down at him with such intensity and resolve that Kaito couldn't help but believe that Shinichi meant every word.

"Why?" Kaito had to know. "Yesterday you were all brokenhearted over Mouri-chan. Why me? How?"

Shinichi blushed, still staring Kaito right in the eye. "Because. Kaito, I need you. In order to get better myself, I need a purpose—a reason to get out of bed in the morning, someone else to live for…. And…you need me. You need someone to take care of you, to help mend all those cracks that the other two have carelessly put in you. I like you a lot, Kaito. Give me some time, and I'm sure I can come to love you more than anything. What do you say? Go out with me."

Slowly but surely a smile of pure joy blossomed on Kaito's face. "Yes. Yes. Please don't let this be a dream. Yes, yes, yes."

Shinichi smiled softly, leaning in and pressing a light kiss to Kaito's forehead. "First things first, you're moving in with me."

Kaito blinked. "Wait. What?"

"You're moving in with me," Shinichi repeated with authority. "I'm a bossy, controlling, possessive boyfriend, and you're moving in with me so that I can take care of you," Shinichi explained.

Kaito chuckled softly. "I like the sound of that. I secretly like it when you boss me around…most of the time. Don't mind if I get rebellious sometimes. I do have a mind of my own, so I'm not going to just roll over and be submissive all of the time."

"Fair enough." Shinichi shrugged, nuzzling Kaito's hair once more. "I like it when you're feisty. It's sexy. But, for now, you're moving in with me so that I can smother you with love and attention."

"Yes, Sir," Kaito chuckled, wrapping his arms around Shinichi, basking in the safety and the warmth.

The

End

...

Mikau: How was it? What did you think? Hopefully you enjoyed it. Well, as always, I'd be interested in knowing what you thought. What was good/bad/funny/weak? It's easier to do a repeat performance, when I know what my audience likes, and it's helpful for me to grow as a writer. Thanks again for reading, and I hope to see you again soon! Take care!