Lock picks? That woman wouldn't know where his lock picks were. He hadn't even pulled his tool set out of his coat in front of Rose. She had no idea they were there. Well, unless Mycroft told her, but he would have no reason…unless he thought Sherlock might use them in a ploy to slip out of her sight. If Mycroft told her surely she wouldn't have told her mother…would she?

He glanced at his phone.

Did you tell Rose about my lock picks?

-SH

He sent the text to Mycroft.

Why would I tell her about your lock picks?

-MH

That wasn't an answer.

-SH

Mmm. I suppose it wasn't.

-MH

Insufferable git. How was he supposed to figure out if that woman knew about his lock picks if Mycroft was going to be uncooperative? And why did his brother insist on spelling out sounds? John thought he was a drama queen.

Mycroft wasn't going to be any help and John ran off. Coward. He needed to find a way out of there. Lestrade? No, he'd be arrested for sedating Rose and he knew no matter how well he made the argument no one would believe he sedated her in self defense.

Molly? No, she was far too meek. One look at that woman and Molly would be half way to China. Okay. Who else was left? Mary was out of town, he'd gotten that in the first five seconds he laid eyes on John. Anderson? Not that he considered Anderson a friend, but he might prove a distraction. She'd likely kill him. Sherlock grinned, but the grin faded a moment later. No, Anderson was half a nutter himself these days with his wild conspiracies. The man was a wild card and Sherlock needed a sure thing.

The sound of footsteps down the hall toward his room froze him in place. He leaned his ear against the door and he could hear the scrape of wood on the flooring. A chair. Kitchen chair. The sound stopped less than a meter from his closed door. The sound of someone sitting down, legs crossed, arms crossed. He narrowed his eyes.

"Like I said," the woman snapped as if she knew he was listening. "I ain't going nowhere. I can wait you out."

"I highly doubt that," he replied.

"You've gotta eat."

"Judging from your weight I'd say food will distract you far before it distracts me."

"Can't be much of a genius if your dumb enough to go poking for a second slap when you ain't even got the first," she snapped.

"I can assure you that I will be receiving neither."

"Got yourself a crystal ball, do you?"

Crystal ball? What the hell did a crystal ball have to do with anything?

"What does owning a ball made of crystal have to do with this conversation?"

"You geniuses are all alike, ain't ya?" He was about to shoot off another reply when he heard her sigh and shift her weight. "What are your intentions with my daughter?"

His what now? Intentions? What the hell was she going on about?

"My intentions, madam, are to move her out of my flat willingly or otherwise," he replied.

"That ain't going to happen," she said.

Not a threat. A statement of fact.

"Sorry?"

"She promised your wanker of a brother that she'd watch out for you and if there's one thing I know about my Rose it's that she never backs out of a promise. There ain't anything in this universe or any other that'll make her leave, not until she thinks you're all right."

Promised? What did she mean by that?

"I believe, madam, that you're confused as to her position. She works for Mycroft."

"It's Jackie, you can stop with that madam nonsense and it sounds like you're the one what's confused."

"Who," he replied, almost automatically.

"What?" she asked.

"You said what's confused, but you should have said who is confused. Since I am in fact a person and not an object."

"Oh, shut up with your airs."

Shut up? Did she actually just tell him to…?

"Its simple grammar, madam, even someone of your low intelligence should be able to grasp the concept."

"Can't stop poking for another slap, can you?" she snapped.

His desire to rid himself of Rose had doubled since this woman's appearance.

"The point is," she continued. "Rose isn't working for your brother."

"He's paying her to spy on me."

"For a genius you really are a bloody idiot, ain't you?"

"Aren't you."

"You interrupt me again, Mr. High And Mighty and I'll be coming through that door locked or not. You got me?" He paused, choosing not to respond to her threat. Would she actually break down his door? Could she? He drew up an image of the woman…it was a possibility. "Rose don't spy on no one unless she thinks they're a threat and it would have to be a life or death threat. She ain't that sort of person."

Now she was just doing it on purpose to annoy him. He forced himself to ignore it as he went over her words. So, Mycroft was paying Rose, but she was there because she really did want to help him. That might change her motivation, but he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, no matter what anyone thought, and he didn't need another person meddling in his life. If she wouldn't leave until she thought he was fine then that's what he would tell her.

"All right. I'll tell her I'm fine."

Mrs. Tyler laughed.

"She's heard that one before and he was a much better actor than you." He heard her stand up. "Might as well come out of there, can't have you in your room all night. I'll make us a cuppa."

He heard her pick up the chair and move into the kitchen. She must have cooled down. He unlocked the door and stepped out, straightening his suit as he walked down the hall. CRACK!

He stumbled into the wall. His face exploding in pain as everything in his mind blinked out of existence to be replaced by shock, indignation, anger, and burning resentment. He stood up, eyeing the woman.

"You slapped me!" he yelled.

"Don't act like you didn't know it was coming," she snapped, turning around and making for the counter to grab the kettle.

"But…but you told me to come out."

He followed her, massaging the side of his face as his mind rebooted.

"Yep, but I didn't say you weren't getting a slap."

She turned on the tap and filled the kettle. He watched her through narrowed eyes for a moment before stalking into the living room and throwing himself down in his chair. The sooner he extracted both of them from his life the better.

Standard Disclaimer.

Thank you to all my brilliant readers!

Reviews are always welcome. :)