Disclaimer: Touhou is owned by ZUN.
A/N: Death files story. It's not a sequel to the other one, doesn't take place in the same universe, and is completely self-contained. It's also different in tone, darker, a lot less fun. Do not expect much from it.
Chapter 1: That time of the year again.
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The last leaf of Gensokyo had fallen an hour ago. It was red, red like an open sore, red like Shizuha's dress, like her tired, bloodshot eyes. She was holding it between her fingers and twirling it, back and forth. The autumn was over. It was the time of end and death.
"You should eat," Minoriko said. The sisters were sitting across one another, the table between them stacked with mounds of food. Bright, fresh vegetables and fruit, much like Minoriko's mood and attitude. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were sparkling, she was happy. For her, it was the time of pleasure, the time to savor the hard-earned harvest.
"What's the point?" Shizuha asked dully.
"The point." Minoriko raised a finger. "Is that it tastes damn good."
She took a bite from a large, yellow apple. It crunched loudly. Shizuha wondered if the apple enjoyed it, being crushed between teeth and devoured. Probably not.
"I know whash's happening," Minoriko said, her mouth full. She swallowed. "It's that time of the year again. You get moody, go away, return a week later, all beaten up and miserable. You go to bed, and sleep till spring."
"It's going to be different this time. This time, I will finally end it all."
Minoriko rolled her eyes. "Look, this is a waste of time. You're an immortal goddess, faith sustains your life. What, do you intend to go and kill all your followers? Please."
Shizuha didn't answer right away. She looked to the side, and out of the window. A sea if wilted grass, and bare trees in the distance. "If needed be, I will destroy the world."
Minoriko dropped the apple and covered her mouth. For a few moments she was struggling and shaking, then burst into laughter. Shizuha clenched her teeth, and crushed the leaf in her fist.
Minoriko kept laughing. Shizuha stood up. "I'm leaving."
"Haha… ha, sure, go ahahahaha…!"
Shizuha stormed out. She slammed the door shut and took flight, flew as fast as she could. She wanted to escape that condescending laughter, that choking room. She wanted for the world to disappear, but it would not, it would catch up to her and torture her more.
Minoriko caught up to her. She has always been faster, stronger, smarter. Tears of laughter were still in the corners of her eyes. There was a large leather bag in her hands. She overtook Shizuha and blocked her way.
Shizuha glared. "Want a fight?"
"No. I know I can't stop you, but I insist that you don't go empty-handed."
"I don't need it."
Minoriko dropped her smile. "Yes you do. Take the blanket and food, don't mooch on people, it's not fitting for a goddess."
Minoriko flew closer and pushed the bag into Shizuha's hands. "Behave yourself," she said bluntly.
Shizuha looked away. She considered dropping it, but that would accomplish nothing except for a spell card duel, a loss, and a day wasted on rest and clothes repair.
It was pointless. In fact, everything was pointless, except for her journey, a journey to the grave. Her sister was not even an obstacle, it was a clucking plump distraction that smelled of grapes and apples.
Minoriko let go of the bag, and Shizuha kept holding it. The harvest goddess flew back a bit. Her expression softened.
"Let's not repeat what happened last year, okay?"
Shizuha bared her teeth, but managed to control herself immediately. What had happened the year before was not something she wanted to remember or discuss. She turned her snarl into a strained smile. Minoriko smiled back.
"Come back soon," Minoriko said. "I'll cook up a pumpkin pie."
"Farewell, sister."
Minoriko waved and flew away, back towards their home. The bag was bulky, but had a long strap for easier carry. Shizuha put it over her shoulder and flew forward, towards the next step on the road of her demise.
She felt neither sorrow nor anger with this final goodbye. Only clingy, sour annoyance.
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Hina Kagiyama didn't have a home. She moved around, took refuge from elements in caves and abandoned hermit hovels. She owned the foot of the Youkai Mountain, if only in a sense that no one sane would want to share land with the curse goddess.
Shizuha found Hina easily in their agreed meeting place, at a destroyed minor shrine. Like the rest of Hina's domain, the area was quite messy, broken dolls littered the ground and tacky origami shapes decorated the gnarly branches. Hina was easy to spot too, both because of the vibrant green color of her hair and the fact she was idly spinning in place, the ribbons of her dress slashing air with buzzing, unpleasant sound.
Hina spotted Shizuha, spun once more and stopped.
"Hello," she said with a smile. "What a wonderful day for an adventure."
"Yes, hello. Are you ready to go? I want to end this as fast as possible." Shizuha was mildly irritated already, by that smile and attitude.
"Of course. Onwards we go, on a most noble death-seeking quest."
Hina picked up a small purse from behind the shrine, apparently all her traveling supplies. Like her dress, it was marked with a spiral, and like her dress, it was of the most nauseating color combination - red and green.
Shizuha didn't like Hina much, mostly because of this clash of her exterior with what she was at the core. However, she was a subservient god, and, judging from their short letter exchange earlier this autumn, was willing to help. Too bad she was overly nosy and noisy.
"Where are we going?" Hina asked. "You never mentioned it in the letters."
"Just follow me and help in spell card fights. It's all you need to do."
"But I want to do more! Perhaps I know a shortcut through wind currents, or can help negotiate."
Shizuha glared. Was it going to be like this for the rest of the way? Next Hina would ask why did she want to die, and didn't she care at all how sad her sister would be. This was unacceptable.
"You can carry my bag," Shizuha said, and threw it towards Hina. The curse goddess caught it, and immediately lost altitude because of the weight. She climbed up.
"Oh, it's heavy. What's inside?"
"Stop asking dumb questions. If it shuts you up, we are going to Nameless Hill first, then to the Ruins of Former Hell."
"That's interesting, I never knew there was an underground location where gods can die forever. Or perhaps a special god-slaying youkai lives there? Perhaps-"
"Shut up, Hina," Shizuha snapped. Hina pouted, but didn't stop talking right away.
"I was only trying to make conversation," she said. "I'm on your side, I'll help you die. You can trust me."
"I am not in the mood."
They flew in silence for a while. Below was autumn Gensokyo, quiet and sleepy. The sun was weak, barely made it through the lead gray of the evening clouds. In the distance, a hill started to take shape, a hill colored dirty white.
"Hey, can I ask a smart question?" Hina asked, and immediately proceeded with it. "If winter is here, why are the lilies still in bloom?"
Shizuha focused her will. Yes, something familiar on that hill, like a familiar pain, like a bone broken long ago, aching in the rain. A familiar feeling, a familiar, old adversary. Shizuha stopped in air, and Hina stopped with her.
"Something wrong?"
"Yes. You'll see for yourself, very soon. An ancient enemy, an elder evil. Prepare to fight."
Hina brightened up. "Great! That, I can do. I'm so glad I can help."
She spiraled down to the ground and boldly strolled forward. Apparently, in her mind, evil had to be engaged in an obligatory uphill battle through vapors of poisonous flowers. Shizuha winced.
The hill was an integral part of her plan. It could not be avoided, and it mattered little that the enemy was nearly indestructible. After all, in a spell card battle only conviction mattered, resolve and force of will.
She had to believe in her victory. She had to believe in herself and her goal. Her journey could not end this early, on this first trying step, it could not end in a crushing, humiliating defeat. Not this time.
This time, she was truly going to kill herself.
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