As little by little, I try to write this little letter for you… I know I am losing all of my abilities of my own body. Little by little, every day, I'm fighting for myself to get better even though I know it is impossible. But, I'm trying – I'm trying for you.
Every time you called my name with the deep voice that you had, I too, tried my best to hide everything that pains me inside with those bitter smiles I have always given to you. I try – I am trying not to let you know everything about this fragile body of mine that you treasure the most, which is no avail for me at all. I try, Levi…I try so hard not to let you know about it, but I know – I know you will not come back for me at all. You are gone – you are gone…
You're fading away right before my eyes – right before I know it.
I love you. I do…But, I know it will not return at all. The love – this love…Will not return to me at all. Each time, I remember – I remember this little fading memories of us…I feel happy – yeah, happy even though my tears are streaming down my cheeks, but I am happy…I'm happy with this, it is just enough for me to remember that time only, Levi… It is just enough for me, only for me…
I remember the time when I slowly lose my sight – when I lose my eyes. It was dark…It was so dark with no way out at all. I tried to open my eyes… but everything was still dark. It was so dark that I was so afraid it might swallow me alive. However, no one knew about it…not even my own best friends at all, only Hanji knew at that time. She knows every time I use the titan power I have, I will lose, slowly, my own body and I never know when I will lose everything of me at all. It seems that I will be one of those trampled flowers too, now. But, it is okay…
I am, at least, useful right, Corporal Levi?
In this dark world of mine, I keep on imagining your face; how nice it would be if you would only smile and look at this world from a different aspect – yeah, this beautiful yet, cruel world. Wouldn't it be beautiful if you could find someone that you love and be happy with them forever?
But, it is impossible now…
Since you are not there anymore…
Can you please tell me, Corporal? Can you tell me how it feels to be in heaven? If you were here, I know you would have kicked me, telling me how stupid my question was… but really, I'm really asking you now.
How it feels to be in heaven, Levi?
Is it as peaceful as everyone else told me? Armin told me that it would be peaceful in the heaven but he had no proved of it at all. So, I'm asking you…Since you're there before me, who should have died in the first place.
Is it peaceful, Levi?
I guess, you won't be able to answer my question at all, but it is okay. Sooner or later, I will be joining you, up there, in the Heaven. Ah, I think…even if I write this, it would be pointless, wouldn't it be?
Since it will not be you, who reads it.
When tomorrow comes, another experiment will be held again and slowly, I will lose my ability to do anything. Yet, I enjoy it…I enjoy it, Levi. As soon enough, I will be there with you – just with you, Levi. So…Will you wait for me? Will you wait for someone as slow as me to be there with you? .
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Will you accept me even if I have broken bones with me?
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Will you accept me even though I cannot see your beautiful blue eyes anymore?
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Will you take me even when I have nothing with me anymore?
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Will you take me there, to the heaven, together with you, Levi?
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Please, wait for me, Corporal.
I am…
Running my way towards you….
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Towards the Heaven…
Eren Jaeger
Rest in Peace
835 – 860
Humanity's Last Hope
I'm sorry for making a lot of one-shot lately and haven't been updating the series. I will be updating the series soon! Though, I can't promise anything at all.
But anyway, I know this is kinda OOC. I'm sorry... I just hope you all like it. Thank you!
- Soranokuma
P.S: I'm sorry, I make up the year of Eren's death. I totally don't know when he was born at all too. Please forgive me!