I kind of dreamt this up one night and since then it's taken up my entire life. It was meant as a one-shot, but as I began to write, it grew into something much more.

I hate to do this, but because the nature of this fic is highly religious, I find it's necessary that I warn you all. There are a few events that are disrespectful to Catholic symbols and this entire story is full of explicit smut and language. If you are someone who is highly offended by Catholicism or sacrilege, I suggest you steer away from reading this.

For everyone who decides to proceed, I love you all and I hope you enjoy yourselves. I know I certainly did.

"Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell. But most of all because I have offended you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life. Amen." She whispered, mostly to herself as she knelt by the altar, head bent in prayer.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."* The priest's words made her jump. She hadn't noticed that the chapel of the cathedral had slowly emptied. She wondered how long she had been there, engrossed in thought. "You needn't worry, my child. If you need to talk, you have only say the words. My door is always open."

She took a deep breath, looking down at her folded hands again. "I'd like to make a confession, then."

The priest nodded. "This way then, child." He walked into the confessional. She followed, shifting the curtain to enter her side of the box. "What is it, child?"

She made the sign of the cross before beginning. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession." She took another deep breath, willing herself to speak. "I've been reconsidering my decision to take the habit."

"That's a rash decision, lass. What's brought this on?"

"Well… I've been weighing it heavily all week, Father. You see, I've met someone." She smirked to herself, despite the circumstances. To admit anymore would be putting her heart out on display. "More than just someone."

"Is it love?"

She thought it over. The Bible taught that love was between a man and a woman, two souls coming together as one. A divine commitment. Certainly not what she had now. Certainly not what she had just divulged herself in before her quiet prayer. "I'm not sure."

"You've had impure thoughts, then?"

"More than just thoughts, Father." She whispered. "I'm afraid I had a lapse in judgment. I lost my path to righteousness."

"People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy."* He quoted with a sigh. "Confessional has no room for vague metaphors, child. If you seek true penance, you must be clear to show remorse."

"I indulged myself in all of the cardinal sins. Lust, envy, greed… Father, I committed a sin of the flesh."

"The first step to forgiveness is admitting." He prodded.

She thought it over, allowing herself to let out the words in one breath. "I had sex."

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you, blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death, Amen." She whispered, her lips barely moving as she bent her head in prayer.

Her eyes shot open when she felt someone pass her, sitting in front of her in an empty pew. She glanced upward, losing her concentration. She was certain she had never seen them there before. She was supposed to be repenting her sins, but here she was, committing new ones.

Lust.

She couldn't help but hear them, whispering prayers in perfect unison. They were too engrossed in prayer to care that she was there.

She shook her head, deciding to ignore it, ignore them. Maybe after she finished her Our Father's she could slip out the door and find her mentor at the monastery.

"Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end, Amen." Her mouth moved fluidly as she thought the prayer, over and over in her head.

Sudden movement deterred her thoughts again. The men made the sign of the cross, kissing their thumbs afterward and the darker one tapped his cohort's shoulder before they got up to leave. Silently, they stood. The one with darker hair, the fierce pensive eyes, he was staring at her as he passed. He took one last leering look over his shoulder, causing her to blush, before they slipped out the door and into the foyer.

She sighed, heavily, letting out a few deep breaths as she calmed herself. She needed to repent again.

She spent a few more silent minutes, repeating the prayer of contrition in her mind a few times, twisting her rosary around her neck, fondling each ivory bead between two fingers before she was satisfied, rising to her feet.

Exiting the sanctuary of church, she spotted them, standing by the corner, smoking and talking quietly to each other. Of course, they where standing in her way. There was no avoiding them, not if she was to make it to the monastery. She clutched her jacket tightly around her shoulders, shuffling past them as quietly and quickly as she could.

"S'cuse me, miss?" One of them spoke, the lighter of the two. "Hope we didn't disturb yer prayers. We didn't mean ta interrupt, as it were."

"The church is an open sanctuary." She replied, looking past them longingly.

"Got somewhere ye need ta be then, aye?" The darker one asked.

She finally took the time to look at them. Really look at them. They were both very different, one tanner with lighter hair, more clean cut. The other was lighter skinned with darker hair. He was the one with the piercing blue eyes. He had an angular face with striking features. They also seemed very similar. They shared a set of tattoos; the Virgin Mary on the left sides of their necks. Perhaps they were related.

"Yes, actually."

"Oh, well then. Don't let us keep ye, lass." The light one said.

"Wha's yer name, álainn?" The other one insisted.

"Uh," she hesitated, looking between the two of them. They'd be the death of her, she just knew it. She could feel herself sinning again. "Emer. It's Emer."

"Beautiful name. S'fittin' fer such a beautiful girl." The light one smirked. He tossed his cigarette to the sidewalk, offering the girl his hand. "Name's Connor. This one's m'twin."

"Murphy." The other interjected, tossing his own cigarette butt and offering his hand as well. She looked back and forth between their hands, completely torn. Of course they were twins. They had a surreal connection, one that only came from a shared womb.

As if realizing they were confusing her, they pulled their hands back. "Can we walk ye where yer 'eaded, lass?" Connor said, just after clearing his throat.

"I'm just on the way to the monastery. It isn't far."

"Yer in the convent?" Murphy gasped.

Connor slaps his twin's arm, quieting him. "What 'e means is ye don' exactly look like a nun. Not one we've ever seen, aye?"

"That's because I'm not. Not yet, anyway. I'm still a postulant, I live in the convent. I still have a lot of work ahead of me before I can say my vows." She explained.

"Fuck." Murphy swore. "Hail Mary, full o' grace. I didn't mean ta -"

"It's okay, you're absolved." Emer chuckled.

"Don't ye 'ave yer own church? Ye know, at the convent?" Murphy asked. His brother slapped him in the back of the head.

Emer stifled a laugh. "Yes, but there's just something about this one. It's comforting. I come here to gather my thoughts." She spotted the time on the large town clock. "I really must be going, though."

"Well, our offer still stands ta take ye. S'not safe fer a lovely lass such as yerself ta be walking the streets alone. Wouldn't want anyone ta compromise yer virtue." Connor said, a tinge of sarcasm lacing his voice.

"Aye, we'll protect ye. Git ye dere safe an' sound." Murphy agreed.

She mulled the idea in her mind. It wasn't exactly appropriate to be roaming the streets of Ireland in the company of two gorgeous men. Then again, she was still young, not yet sworn to God. There was the Devil again, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. "Okay, then. But let's hurry."

"Thought ye'd say that." The dark twin smiled.

"I've never seen you two here before. You must have just moved here."

They exchanged a quick look before Connor replied. "We lived in America fer a while."

"Round ten years." Murphy nodded.

"Aye. We juss recently moved back."

"Oh." Was all she could come up with. "What brings you back?"

"Uh," Connor seemed to mull the answer over. "Work complications."

Emer merely nodded.

"So, ye always knew ye wanted ta be a nun, then?" The other brother asked.

"Not exactly." She said, shaking her head. "I wasn't always so devout. I had an epiphany of sorts, realized I had to make a few drastic changes in my life."

"Aye." They agreed in unison.

"Don't get us wrong, aye? We were raised in the Catholic church. Mass ev'ry Sunday, confessional on weekdays. We're 'bout as devout as they come." Murphy explained.

"Think what m'brudder's sayin' is dat we don't exactly understand how yer prepared ta give up all the... pleasures o' life." Connor added.

"Pleasures?" Emer asked.

Connor smirked to himself, instantly looking away, but Murphy caught her gaze, staring her down with those smoldering blue eyes. "Aye, pleasures."

The sound of his voice sent all the blood in her body boiling its way through her veins to her southern most parts. The three stopped in their tracks, only another block or so from the monastery.

"I 'ope ye don' think me a right arse fer sayin' so, but if takin' the vow is what yer plannin' on doin', I'd 'ope tha' ye've thought it all through." Connor said, trying to cut the tension.

"I've prayed long and hard." Emer admonished. "This isn't something I've taken lightly. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I'm not claiming to be perfect. I'm only trying to follow the path God set before me."

"Course not." Connor said. "Believe us, lass, when we say dat we understand."

"I'm not one ta judge. Sometimes the lort 'as plans fer us that not ev'ryone would call just and righteous. Dat doesn't mean 'e doesn't fergive us our transgressions." Murphy paused, clearing his throat. "I 'ope ye experienced all life 'as ta offer." He continued his bold pursuit, his eyes finally leaving hers to leer downward, slowly burning their way down her body, raking over her. "I'd 'ate fer ye ta die havin' any regrets."

She was able to catch her breath before they reached the gate outside of the convent. "I have plenty of regrets, things I'm not exactly proud of, that's why I'm here."

"Payin' fer yer sins?" Connor asked.

"I have a long road of penance ahead of me." She nodded.

"Well, we wouldn't want ta keep ye then, would we Murph'?"

"Aye." The brunet agreed. "But we know where ye live now."

"We'll definitely be seein' ye."

Translations and References:

*1 John 1:9

*Proverbs 28:13

Álainn – beautiful